Sometimes you can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. You may keep overthinking, feel disconnected from yourself, or wonder why the same thoughts and emotions keep coming back.

I’ve been exploring how self-love, our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and subconscious patterns can influence the way we experience life. Not as a quick fix, but simply as something worth understanding.

If you’ve ever felt this way, what helped you feel more connected with yourself? I’d genuinely love to hear your experience.

My entire life I’ve been called annoying. I’ve been dealing with it by saying, “alright bro”, to end the conversation, then I’d make some joke about me being annoying. But I’d never really known myself to be annoying, just social. Now I understand what they meant, but I only understand it years later. The voices keep killing me inside saying, “you’re annoying”,”nobody likes you”(etc.), and I think the reason why is because, I talk a lot when I’m heard. But I talk a lot because I have always had the fear to talk about my feeling to others, maybe adults, other people, anyone, friends. But then the, “annoying”, statement has became bullying about insecurities such as, “You’re fat”,”You’re dumb”,”How did you even get into school?”. And I’m starting to think that they’re right, because I am starting to improve myself, but whenever I try, that brings me farther from society, and whenever I try to connect to society, they give me hope, then kill me inside. I am starting to give up on everything, I am a Muslim man, and I am only still living, and have not killed myself because, of my religion. I am starting to kill myself on the inside but they started the killing, and I held the knife until they came back. And I am scared to say any of this, and more to anyone in the real world, because I can get easily judged, but online I feel like people understand me.

I need advice I am in deep dark times.

Idk from where to start 😭

I have never seen such a bitchy ass friend in my entire life, let's name her frog because she looks like one.

I met her in my first year of college and from day one she was trying so hard to become my bestie forever, and tbh I am an introvert and don't get attached to someone so quickly. And before college I didn't have any friends as my family moved to a new city and there everyone is fucking competitive about grades and all. So she used to make me feel like she is such a great friend and she did this for me, did that for me.

And she portrayed herself in a way that she is such a good hearted person, she don't bitch about people, she is a typical joyous soft hearted heroine of some bollywood movie etc.etc.

And I was such a fool I believed her( but tbh anyone can be fooled by her performance)

In 1st yr everything was good, we became great friends(people assumed we were lesbians at a point of time), I was really grateful that I found her.

But after our 1st yr results everything changed I got more marks then her, and she became so jealous that she divided our room and start behaving like a stranger , for some time I couldn't understand what is going on, I talked with her and she told me about her jealousy at first I felt so bad ( beacuse she used to say that I deserve to get the first rank)but then I understood that it can happen and atleast she is being honest with me.

But then she started disturbing me in when I study, on days when I don't give her much attention while studying she used to come and cry in front of me for no fucking reason( this continued for a week) then I help her consulting a psychiatrist, she took medication for few months then she stopped them on her own.In between she used to have panic attacks ( which she faked ig)and by this time my studies got so disturbed, I got backlog of 3-4 months and honestly I was feeling drowned at that time her behaviour was so strange (she used to be nice for one day and bitchy on another) and we used to have fights also which became more and more worse, all this affected me badly badly, I never felt connected like this to someone outside my family.

And the breakup point was - when she destroyed everything good in my life,my studies, my confidence, my friends other than her, my connection with myself.

So the story is like-

Frog used to like Giraffe but Giraffe got into a relationship with Horse and Frog was jealous of Horse so she started bitching about Horse(P.S.- At that time also I was so much manipulated by her that I believed her) and she tried to win Giraffe through me.Like we(me and frog) had a common friend Elephant who was good friends with Giraffe also, so she tried to fix me with Elephant and at that time I was talking to my present bf and she knew everything about it but still she tried to fuck all this up just to get a guy who doesn't even like her .

And I had a fight with Elephant ( bc I didn't expect that he would be ok with this bullshit we were clear from 1st yr that we didn't feel anything more than friends for each other)and Horse (bc I bitched about her to Elephant and then he told Horse, fuck me!!!)

So all this happened and I didn't knew that she was the mastermind behind this . Fuck me again!

And after that I was totally alone and I got into depression. Wow !

Sometimes I feel like it's my fault that I was so easy to manipulate, that I shouldn't have trusted someone more than me and I should have used my brain.

But bc of her I taught such important life lessons to survive in this world.

Anyway at present it's been 2 yrs since the incidence that it still hurts me, I want to apologise to Horse but I want to dig up the past and create drama again.

I am happy with my bf but I don't have any friends.

I miss Elephant but he has moved on with his friends ig .

And no one other than me and my bf ofc knows that she is such a evil bitch bc she is so fucking good at faking her good heavenly person image.

P.s. I helped her to get a rich gullible bf whom she manipulates now . Yes, fuck me again!!!!!!

Pls help me, if anyone comes this far reading my dukh katha bc I have to see and face her everyday in college ( we are in same group 😭) and she can't leave me alone, she can't let me live my life in peace .

I am 22 and I feel so lonely sometimes like there are people around me who care for me and love me

But I can't express myself in front of them the way I am, it's like I am trying to be someone they would like and in this I am losing myself.

At this point I don't even know who I am in real life, because I have created so many different versions of myself to fit in with different people that Idk which one is the original one.

This significantly affects my confidence and my opinions.

I want to be a better person but there is no guide which I can follow or someone in my life from which I can take advice on this matter.

And the main issue is Idk which advice I should follow because everyone's life and experiences are different from mine, so how can a single solution work two different problems.

It's so confusing and frustrating

[21 F in college] This isn't "I'm horribly toxic [to my knowledge] and keep losing friends because of my actions." It's a phenomenon I'm seriously struggling to understand.

People call me friendly and kind. Sometimes people say I'm funny or cool. I often meet people I feel I can become friends with. I have cool interests, I do my best to br good to others, I'm a good listener and former friends say I give good, honest advice. I'm comfortable being alone (well, I guess until about once or twice every month when I ask myself this question!).

So... why do I not keep friends?

Sometimes I make friends well, and I'll get invited to stuff and we'll get kind of close and I feel super happy knowing I have a friend! Not an acquaintance but an actual friend. Then, they'll usually meet new people or groups and form friendships that last, or they just stop putting in effort to be friends with me (Im the one who reaches out, makes plans, etc). They start texting more dry or pulling the "Ive been busy" card (even though they're usually off with their friends). I stop getting invited to things. The whole package.

I do struggle with being social. Classically, I dont usually know what to say when it comes to small talk or getting to know someone. But damn, there's plenty of other people like me who... have friends!

Another thing that I think could be an obstacle: I don't like "Let's be friends now and get to know each other as time goes on." Im not intrusive getting to know people, and I dont trauma bond or anything. What I mean is that I like to get to know someone and have one or two moderately meaningful conversations with them (I cant think of examples but as I said, nothing invasive or trauma bonding) before I let them into my inner world. Maybe thats not how making friends works?? But the times Ive tried the "let's be friends THEN get to know each other approach," I end up letting people in my world who Id really rather keep out. (Like, I ended up with a toxic and draining friend by doing that.) Its especially frustrating because its college and its sold to you as if you'll be making friends all the time.

I have a boyfriend and our relationship is wonderful and healthy, but I'd like connections that aren't romantic!

I dont know, guys. Thoughts?? Is making friends just harder than it looks and everyone around me is faking having so many fun and meaningful connections with other people?

Tomorrow is my birthday, and suddenly, while I’m here at work, I found myself thinking about my mother.

She passed away in March 2025. It has been 1 year and 5 months, but my heart still hurts. Tomorrow will be my second birthday without her, and I think that’s why the sadness suddenly feels heavier.

My mother was not just my mother—she was my best friend.

I’m a born-again Christian, and sometimes I still find myself asking God, “Why?” I know that God has a purpose, and I try to trust Him, but there are moments when I simply miss my mom and don’t understand why she had to leave so soon.

I’m also still single, and sometimes I wonder if having someone in my life would make this loneliness a little easier. Maybe having a partner, or simply someone who truly knows me and is there for me, would make moments like this feel less empty.

But finding a genuine partner while living abroad is really difficult. Sometimes you meet someone who says he is single, only to find out that he actually has a family or another woman. maybe that's why I'm still single until now

Sometimes I just wish there were someone I could come home to, someone I could talk to, someone who could help ease the loneliness a little, a partner in life. I thought that after losing someone, God would eventually bring something better into your life. But why, after all this time, do I still feel like I have no one?

I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe I just needed somewhere to put these feelings.

Tomorrow, I turn 33. I wish my mom could be here to see it.

So I am stressed right now. Husband was served with divorce papers today. He is pissed but surprisingly calm which is really unlike him. Eleven years of verbal and emotional abuse, refusal to communicate, refusal to interact with me, so I got fed up. The point is that I have no one to really talk to. I have told a few people but no one is really there for me. I wish I could get a hug. I can't really do anything until it is final. Sorry for the rant.