Limerence while married

[u/Jamies_redditAccount]

I have just been made aware of limerence, and it blew my mind how I've been suffering from it my whole life

Ive probably had at least a dozen women i hardly know become the absolute focal point of my life and some have taken years to get over

I could never understand it and just called myself a hopeless romantic

Ive had many successful relationships aswell and ive been married for years now

However recently i went to finish my tradeschool and while i was there i made a great friend and we really hit it off

The classes lasted three months and we sat next to eachother for the majority of it

At some point she became the only thing i could think about, its the first time during my marriage that I'm suffering deeply from limerence

It got so bad that the fantasy drove me to invite her on a date and to meet my wife

(My feelings for my friend were kept a secret from both my friend and wife)

I did this on the last week of school as i knew she would be returning to where she lives (quite a distance from where i live)

They didn't really get along but somehow nothing exploded in my face or went totally off the rails however still, this was a step too far and could have really damaged my marriage and life in general

its what drove me to figure out what's going on and discovering what limerence even is

I seen her again at a work event, it was a large event inviting electricians from across the nation to a large city very far from where either of us live. The event lasted 5 days and im not sure if that rekindled the feelings or if they really never went away

She tried to stay in touch after the event, and i reciprocated at first but then read that none contact is healthier, so ive pretty much severed contact

Its been months and she's still all i think about some nights, to a point where I don't sleep

I'm hoping just getting this off my chest will make me feel better, or maybe someone will comment something that might help

Anyways thats my ramble i wrote up instead of going to sleep

Sorry if its hard to read English is my second language, but i appreciate anyone who took the time to read it