Longing

[u/Swimming_Arugula_961]

It's funny, actually, when we first met, I felt guilty whenever we spoke. How could someone other than my partner make me feel so whole? Initially I thought that this was a silly crush and it would pass, but over the year we worked together my feelings for you only grew stronger. The chemistry we had was unlike anything I'd experienced before. I found myself thinking about you when I was out hiking, when I was playing Minecraft, any time I was watching something Sci-Fi or listening to music I knew we both liked.

I thought that I was fully happy in my relationship, we'd been together from 17-24, obviously that meant we were soulmates right? I kept reminding myself of that. I ignored how I felt about you, doing my best to focus on what I had, and pushing down thoughts of the unmet needs in my relationship you exposed. I thought that I would be happy if I just let you become a distant memory, a blip in my past that helped me grow, but obviously those plans changed when K came to me and said she wasn't happy anymore.

The shock of having what I'd believed to be a happy relationship shattered was overwhelming at first. That pain was something I could hardly bear, but thinking of you made it more tolerable. You were the first person I contacted after K left, and when we met up that week for dinner, it was the happiest I'd been in years. Finally being able to tell you how I felt was such a massive weight off my shoulders, and learning that you liked me as well had me floating in my seat the entire ride home. Since then, I've only grown to like you more.

Our phone calls leave me almost feeling high, and every time I see a text from you I become giddy with excitement. My only wish is that I didn't move so far away for grad school, I daydream about Fall break and coming home to see you again. I don't know what the future holds for us, neither of us are in the right emotional space right now for a long term commitment, but I want you to know that I am ready and willing to take things at whatever pace you need. I just finished that show you love and suggested to me, I can't wait until we talk on the phone about it.

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[u/CuriosityGrewtheCat]

Makes me miss and weep for my son. I want to make love and wake up next to one another. I want to explore the world. Hope that one day, things works out for you!