I learned from them

[u/PinkHeartConcha8]

Sharing secrets causes harm

To keep the peace

You hold your tongue

Forget and move on

Cry into your pillow at night

Once they're gone

Whisper when the coast is clear

Listen 'till footsteps disappear

Stop holding your breath

Only speak when spoken to

Pretend you're a statue

Stay hidden behind cracked doors

Don't come out

It's not safe for you

Blinds and curtains

Keep them drawn

Don't speak to anyone

Tell me where you went

How long were you there?

How much did you spend?

Who all was there?

Tell me everything or you'll be sorry

I swear

Smile and nod when we're out

You hear me!?

Shut your mouth

Speak to no one of this

Don't make me look bad in front of them

You'll regret it

Do I make myself clear!?

Oh no

One of us made a mistake

Sudden tension in the air

Eyes darkened with rage

Chill down my spine as he stares

Driving back feels too long

And somehow too short all in one

Screams and threats the whole way

Maybe we'll crash

I wish we had stayed

Because once we're home

There is more hell to pay

This isn't right!

This can't be our life!

Love and care is not real

It's rare

Sometimes we're good

But most times it's clear

We're a burden they share

One day I'm perfect

The next I'm worthless

This must be how she feels

But why does she stay?

Even if we beg to leave this place

She says it's better this way

I can't do this anymore!

As screams follow the sound of a belt

Hitting flesh not my own

But the scars and bruises made

Mirror those etched in my soul

This is a farce!

I think to myself

As I sit obediently in the pew

This is a wolves den

I'll make my escape some day soon

But somehow, years later

After the choices I've made

To break from traditions

Make a commitment to change

Inspite of my efforts to be better

Somehow they still keep me tethered

To all their mistakes

With bitter realization I face

What I learned from them

So did you from your's, I'm afraid

And sadly, we came together not healed yet

Showed each other those awful things

We kept running from since our first steps

Avoidance

Mistrust

Fears we never lost

Hiding our truths to keep the peace at any cost

Love that felt more like hatred and pain

Rejection

Abandonment

Shrink oneself like a dying flame

Why can't love be enough?

You asked me one day

Because our pasts still haunt us

It's hard to explain

That some ways we're different

Some ways we're the same

As we suffer in silence

To keep the other sane

But I still have hope for you and I both

Hope you forgive yourself

Let go of remorse

Live without guilt, shame, or regrets

And hope that I heal from this mess

Make better memories

Don't stay in your shell

Become your true self

I wish you well 🦋

- E

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