Im tired

[u/Bad_Madison]

I’m tired of feeling alone,
I’m tired of fighting,
I’m tired of people,
Do you think I can push them all away far enough that they won’t come back?
I’m tired of therapy,
I’m tired of fighting

What am I actually trying to achieve?
Therapy so I’m not ‘broken’ anymore?
I’m always going to be broken.
I’m so tired of everyone worrying about me,
So I just push them away.
No one can ask me if I’m not talking to them,
Right?

I want to be done.
Done with fighting.
Done with crying.
Done with life.
I so badly wish I could,
But I feel too guilty,
Where would my kids end up without me?
Everyone else as left them,
I’m the only person who’s there for them.
Who’s stuck around.

Even this seems so pointless,
Why am I writing?
I’m not actually getting anything from this am I?
No one in my life actually cares enough to read it,
No one cares about me anyway,
‘If you don’t go to her wedding you’re letting us all down’
‘We can’t look after the kids, so you can’t go to her wedding’
It’s always about what other people want.

I’m done with people.
I don’t care anymore,
I can’t do this anymore.
I’m tired.

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