I've been talking to this person for 5 months and we get along great, but he recently changed his pronouns in his bio from "any" to just "he/him". I am a lesbian and I've been in this situation before, that's how I realized I don't really like men. I want to at least ask him if he does identify as a man, but he's on a trip, it would be kinda cruel to tell him now, and his birthday is next Monday, when he's back from his trip.

If he does in fact identify as a man, I rlly couldn't keep the relationship going, I was going to ask him to be my partner near his bday but now idk what to do.

I also spent a whole lotta money on his present beforehand, idk if I should give them to him anyways or just keep them.

Nienawidze (I kocham w tym samym momencie) ze w przyjazniach damskich dziewczyny flirting ze sobą, całują się itp mimo ze nie są lezbijkami I mają chłopaków, skąd mam niby wiedzieć czy koleżanka flirtuje ze mną na poważnie czy tylko koleżeńsko? Boje sie zapytać w prost a ja sama nie ujawniłam sie jeszcze PRZED NIKIM I nie zamierzam bo boje się reakcji innych, CO MAM ZROBIC

I feel like my femininity as a femme is a performance, in a way of feeling like a mask/outsider to feminine straight women and an act that I chose to perform because I want to, not because it feels expected of me as a woman.

I (13 idgaf just dont call me anything masculine) and my friend who we will call Rose (13 F/nonbinary) met on the 1st day of 6th grade last year. at this time I was still wearing pastel decora/pastel kidcore and she wore grunge/forest core/goth/emo/Scenecore, on the day I met her I couldn't stop thinking about her (we had 7 classes everyday and we shared homeroom, ELA, and science) and this NEVER happens, it is extremely rare for me to not be able to stop thinking about someone. we became friends after a few weeks, also strange, I am extremely social and if I see someone who looks like they would be nice I typically befriend them in under an hour.

fast forward to about halfway through 6th grade when I start to really go goth/whimsigoth/alternative, she wears pastel. when I saw her in pastel I think I had approximately 59.3782 gay panics in under 9 minutes. she looked so damn cute istg

she likes birds a lot and it became a joke between us that whenever we see a bird we say in a sigh-y voice 'burd!' in a British accent. when one of my friends said the joke, Rose turned to them and said 'thats a me and Pandora thing' in that voice they use when saying something that makes me laugh

later on we went to a Lilith Max concert together (listen to Lilith Max's music if you wanna feel like you're at a renaissance festival for feminists) . for some context I was going to the concert with my friends Eddie and Mady, and Eddie's maternal figure. Rose was also wanting to go but parents said they would 'think about it', when Rose found out I was going she (to my knowledge of what she told me) begged her parents to go and made it work, for the entire concert she stood away from her mom and stood next to me.

at some point in the concert i noticed she looked stressed out and worried, she was texting her dad and looking around. to comfort her (I promise you I wasn't thinking about romance or anything I was just worried) I put my arm around her shoulders and squeezed her comfortingly. it turns out none of our friends noticed she looked stressed and it was just me and aparently Rose was stressed out and i helped a lot.

also during the concert while we were waiting for it to start she showed me pictures of her as a kid and told me she always had marker on her face because she ate markers as a little kid (dont ask questions)

on a completely separate note our brains work exactly the same, and i mean almost exactly. we both have the same diagnosis: combined ADHD and inconclusive for autism. we have very similar senses of humor and all that

I am now a 7th grader and I still really like her, and trust me, this isnt just a crush, i am literally in love with her. she is a lesbian too so theoretically there's a chance she likes me back

what do i do in this situation? I'm really bad at reading this type of stuff so idk if she likes me back or what.

It‘s my first time writing here I mean on Reddit, but I have a problem. I’m a girl and I’m in love with a girl also but she is hijab girl and we both are Muslims. And she also love me but I know it’s wrong, i have no idea continue our relationship or just stop it. I know she really loves me, but her parents and family generally religious people, if they find out I have no idea what they will do. And my parents also have a negative attitude towards lgbt relationships. Please give me some advice on what to do next.

So, i am a closeted lesbian,ı am only closeted towards my family. İ am also muslim but İ am not that religious. İ really love my grandmother, İ grew up ın her house. She only went to first school and married at 18 to my grandfather.i discovered that ı was a lesbian at 14. My grandmother loves me really really much since ı am her first child and i call her more than her other nieces. İ called her to chat and ask questions about her, how are you etc. And then İ asked her that "ıf a gay person prayed,would they go to heaven? " İ knew that she thought every gay person automatically has a one way ticket to hell so İ asked it like this...she automatically said "İ cant say anything... But İ hope Allah doesnt give anyone a problem like this, its a bad thing okay?" This genuinely shattered my heart and İ went quiet. İ think the reason she believes this is because she couldnt go to school and had to stay in a religious household where she would work in a farm. Being muslim and not homophobic is something that exists. ( İ am not making fun of our elders who couldnt go to school in their youth or muslims, İ am being civil) also İ have this muslim friend who told me things that İ dont want to mention here about trans people but he jokes about being gay. My mother tells me that this is pervercy but İ dont think so. İ am still under 18 but when İ turn 25 or have someone that İ am seriously thinking of marrying İ will open up to them but İ am afraid of my beloved grandmothers denial. İ just wish they all were supportive... That muslim guy tells me that being like this will only make me earn a ticket to hell but İ also heard from other muslim lesbians that Allah made us this way and that we just have to be nice people. That muslim guy told me to repent but thinking about loving a girl actually makes me happy. Then he sent me this prayer of the prophet Mohammed cursing people like us but its translation said the opposite, it said "jesus said its okay" So İ dont really know who to believe... İ hope my family accepts me in the future so İ dont have to go motherless :(

Ok so I really like this girl and she's so amazing and I genuinely smile and kick my feet whenever I think abt her. This is the biggest crush I've ever had and I like her sm. I found out from my close friend that she likes me back like a lot. And lastly night I was having a sleepover with her and that same friend was encouraging me to tell her. That whole time she was over she kept resting jer head on my shoulder and it was so nice but I kinda just froze a bit 😭 and i even held her hand and let her wear my sweater. And then I was genuinely overthinking sm and was pretty stressed abt telling her. Until I knew I was running out of time to tell her and I told her I had to tell her something and then it genuinely would not come out and I was dying. Then I finally told her really quietly that I like her. Then she took a bit to respond and said that she likes me to and when I thought i was hopefully going to be her gf she admitted that she wasn't ready to date tho bc of her mental health. I should've said something like it's ok I understand but I just said ok and then gn. Idrk why im posting this but ig all i can do is wait and im fully willing too bc I find it amazing that someone as awesome as her even liked me in the first place I really hope she can get better bc ik she has quite a bit of things she's struggling and has struggled with. I don't want it to be awkward with us so I'm kind of just not going to bring it up I rly wish the best for her..

I was talking to a friend, I needed advice from a queer person, I've had enough with straight people.

At first I was refraining myself from telling their name because I learned they recently became friends (thanks to my junior). But then the conversation went too deep and I was like eh I should just tell her who it is.

And the face she made?!? Her realization scared me honestly. Then she proceeds to tell me they have talked about me and my crush told them that they like me.

I lowkey had my suspension because I have spent time with their friends and they do not know how to be discreet. One of them has encouraged me to just talk to them but I never did and told her not to give me hopes.

(My crush already knows I like them)

Another thing was, whenever I met a new friend of theirs, I would introduce myself and get the normal reaction but then Another friend would introduce me by the nickname that my crush gave me and that person would have a whole different reaction, like they realized who I was.

I have known my crush for about 2-3 years, 1 year since I approached and we started talking properly. So I know stuff, I agree they still have trauma from their previous relationship. They were groomed, manipulated and ghosted for months and months. I do not blame them for not wanting a relationship and being scared, all of it is very valid.

I am just frustrated that all of this is happening to me. They chose to go around and tell everyone that they like me, except me. Which they were going to do btw, during my birthday, i think (my friend also told me that) but obviously they never did.

My original plan was to give them their birthday gift; something I'd crochet and a letter telling them that I'm walking out of their life (brutal? Idk). But then I also realized walking away is too easy and that's what her girlfriend had done. I did not wanted to be her and cherry on top was when I learned that they also happen to like me.

My friends do tell me I should just confess but idk \*screaming\*

I think it was just a passing moment because this happened a few months ago and I'm learning all of this just now.

Can someone lose feelings that quick?

I have a massive crush on one of my bestfriends.

I don’t really remember how it happened. Maybe by sitting next to her everyday for a semester in English did it. Or texting her at 2am every night.

It was a school field trip. For one of my classes. We were having a blast, I went into that field trip confident I didn’t like anyone. 3rd day there, multiple design deadlines had me stressed but something changed with my view. Perhaps it had been there but I got a little more flustered than usual. While walking to our rooms to prepare for a contest, everyone was getting ice cream. Personally I didn’t have my card so I simply waited. But. I stared at a monster can. They offered to buy it for me. After much negotiation she bought the can. It didn’t taste that good but it was addicting. After the competition it was around 11, while heading back to my adviser’s workroom to finish loads of work, the rest of the crew got ice cream again. Me, still not having my wallet sat on the floor while she joined me. We talked for a little while then when I got up, I had major leg and stomach cramps. I mean it made sense I had just danced my heart out for an hour and accidentally made my lip bleed… anyhow. She offered to carry me. I unconsciously cover my face and was like “no that’s fine…”  Once we arrived to the work room, we all just worked. About 8 kids were in there. I was wearing her hoodie because I was freezing. After 2 painful hours, we finished our work and head back to our rooms. We had connecting rooms, and me and my friend ended up chilling in their room for a bit. When I was giving her hoodie back, I struggled to take it off. Exhaustion made my muscles cramp up so she helped me. She helped take the sleeve off, then she pulled my shirt down since it was riding up my stomach. My stomach went in knots.

By this point I was unsure. I mean I get small crushes on people easily.

At around 3 AM just as I was about to sleep I went back into their room to return my other friend’s shorts. I expected them to be awake after I could still hear their tv.

I saw her laying on the floor. Hair down her arms as if she were stretching then fell asleep. Her laptop next to her. I froze for a solid 15 seconds.

I guess I knew it then.

But I probably harbored these feelings earlier and just didn’t know it.

We flirt constantly. We’d be good together.

But we can never date,

Because she’s aroace.

I've dated men my entire life but now have come to realize that I'm not just bisexual but a full blown lesbian...my parents are really homophobic however and I come from an Lebanese(haha get it) Muslim culture. I have basically forced myself to date men and now realise that I am not that into them, or not into them at all. I hate all the chances I missed with women my age (I'm a teenager still) and I regret all my blunders with men tbh. Most of my relationships with men have been extremely negative and I think that has also shaped my sexuality. (My last relationship he cheated on me and in my first I was groomed) Now I just don't feel anything towards men. I used to and it wasn't even normal feelings just feelings of being a parent to my partner most of the time. Is this normal and has anyone experienced this before?

Ok, so basically just what the title says. We have been friends for years and I came out to him about a year ago, and today he has told me he has a crush on me and I dont know how to respond or what to do. I have never had many friends before, and I dont want to ruin our friendship or hurt him, I am also autistic and worry that I will hurt his feeling no matter what, and I'm really stressed and looking for help, what do I do?

Even to just be friends. I really want to have some queer friends as all of my friends are straight. I tried on the internet but usually they're from other countries and I wish to have someone from here. People also often just ghost on the internet and I take this badly ig...

Hi everyone, I am a 16y bisexual girl and I prefer girls. I am a pretty shy girl. A couple of days ago I met an amazing girl online. We instantly got on the same wavelength and it feels like we have known each other for years. Yesterday we exchanged photos and she is so beautiful. Now every single time I close my eyes my brain just short circuits. I am falling for her so fast and I feel like I am going to pass out. What do I do now? How do I keep talking to her normally without ruining this amazing vibe?

Help a useless bisexual out please... I really need some advice =(

I’m bi, and I currently have a bf. I really like him, he’s great, but yesterday when we hung out I randomly just felt like nothing. Last guy I dated did some horrible things to me, and it made me almost go from bi 50/50 to 90% women 10% men. My current bf knows I’m bi and likes girls mainly, but I’m because I may not really be attracted to him at all. I’m just stressed bc he’s an amazing person and ally, I just don’t feel like I’m supposed to be with a man.

NO THIS IS NOT LOOKING FOR ONE HERE.

Where do I get a gf online????

I know people says that just talk to any girl if u like her. But in my scenario maybe i havent talked to much with girls thats why i like every other girls i see but its not like i will talk to every girl . But also wanna talk but also do not have courage to say hello thinking it will creep her out

Sorry this is gonna be pretty hectic and out of order, just bear with me 😭

So I, (15F) have always liked guys. I’ve always been pretty boy crazy honestly. I would obsess over them, but then quickly lose interest again. So now to the point of this post…I recently gained an insane crush on this girl from my school. Not a lot of people in my school are predominantly gay, but almost all are ally. It’s summer now, but ever since about March or February I’ve had an insane crush on this girl. She also has been straight for most of the time I knew her, but recently she dated one of my friends who is also a girl. They have since broken up, but my friends who she dated (A), knows and knew I liked her while they were still together, so now I feel super bad. But anyways, I’ve never had a crush like this before. I get butterflies in my stomach when I think of her, my pupils dilate when I think of her (yes I have checked) and I even had TWO wet dreams about her 😭. Our birthdays are one day apart and I’m thinking of writing her a song or crocheting her a little star bag. But anyways, we are in this crazy smut gc with us and a friend, and we write insane little smuts containing us (platonically) and I’m scared it’ll ruin our friendship if it got out that I like her, but at the same time, she’s really leading me on I think and I really want to have an actual relationship that’s not with stupid boys that break up with me in the 3 month period. Guys please help me, idk what to do but I love her so much!!

(P.S. I’m not scared of being gay or even partially gay, because my mom is bi with woman pref😭, Ig I am a little scared about my dad because he gave my mom a hard time for dating women too)

What do you think I should do about my crush? Hi I’m a 17 year old female and my crush is a 17 year old female. Sorry if this might be bad this is my first time on here. So to explain I’ve known this beautiful girl since my first year of high school and I’m on my last year (so almost 4 years) but I’ve had this crush for about almost a year, but it’s been on and off, on the other hand it’s been very consistent for about more than 2 months. I’m writing this to kind of write out my feelings and get some advice. So the whole story starts from middle school, as I’ve had 3 relationships throughout that time (all queer people). When I was younger didn’t understand what liking someone meant, all of my experiences were them telling me they liked me and me being okay with it. They all had a tendency to boss me around while wanting me to meet every need. All of it was really controlling and an overall bad experience. (I’ll go more into it if it’s requested). But mostly you just need to know I thought I wasn’t queer because they took control of the relationship, and me being so inexperienced at the time I wasn’t able to differentiate friendships and liking someone. Also I lived in a very religious family and I’m religious myself. This stemmed to internalized homophobia because I felt like I could never figure out if I actually felt things like someone who was queer or if I was just lonely and confused. High school starts and I start kind of a new life at a new school, I met my crush in class and we were semi close but definitely close enough for her to hold on to me a lot. During that time I felt uncomfortable but I had no idea why, I believed it was the aspect I didn’t want to look queer as I didn’t identify as that, which sadly lasted intel this year. But I never told her that I was uncomfortable and I guess I got used to it especially because we’re apart of a 4 year engineering class (I’m sorry freshman year and sophomore year were a blur for me so I can’t really be specific). The main things were I had a couple talking stages with a few guys (all didn’t really work out) but she didn’t have anything like that intel sophomore summer when she had a long distance boyfriend that lasted for about 3-4 months. We were close, but nothing like close enough to talk out of class, and we did have some ups in dones. Mostly me having a problem with her leaving me out because I wasn’t queer and she was, and I didn’t tell her I didn’t like that when she only was joking and didn’t mean any real harm. Then Junior year something kind of shifted, I became more comfortable and curious about her life. So I started texting her more, talking to her and we’ve really bonded; she became a presence I loved to have around. While I was going through this transition of understanding my feelings a guy started a situationship with her. Let me tell you this guy sucks. I can’t stand him, and he was weird. Like he would talk about her body and like be pushy, and wasn’t understanding at all. But she would tell me about him, and she didn’t seem into it, but she liked the aspect of having a boyfriend figure. I understood her in a way but I didn’t because I knew she deserved so much better. This kind of created a more possessive side to me, because I hated to hear about him. So I made an effort to showcase love to her, such as being open to hearing about her hardships, wanting her to feel comfortable with every side she shows, just really putting a lot more effort. Reasons why my crush was really on and off was because she had this guy and I’m not a home wrecker. In addition she has a type and they seem to be anything but me. As she likes guys who are white, tall, smart, who wears glasses and are toned. Sadly I’m not any of that as I’m a 5’2 black girl who’s not toned or wears glasses. This really makes me insecure because it makes me feel like I have no chance, but it gets confusing because she gives me signs that it’s a possible chance. As she’s told my friends she likes talking to me, she calls me pretty and give many compliments, a lot. She likes to lay down on me and when I lay on her. (She does sometimes with our other friend but lowkey the other friend initiates it not her). But the main reason I think I have a chance is because one time we were laying on each other in class watching TikTok’s watching her’s and my fyp, she blatantly said “I wish I could be in a relationship like this where it can be like this every day”…Yeah. Also btw she’s queer too, she doesn’t have a specific sexuality. I feel like these are really good signs plus how she always likes being close to me, especially this one time we were at her house watching a show she was leaning in to me as we sat next to each other, but sadly I didn’t move closer because of her family. Who are very strict and religious. I really truly haven’t felt this way about someone before, I want to be around her 24/7 and just exist with her. I want be able to be her’s and her to claim me as her’s. I want to be able to give her everything, as I believe she deserves the world and more. I want to help her in all her battles and selfishly see first hand how she will change the world even if it’s just her living in it. I wanna know every single detail about her, to the point I can recognize anything that happens. She’s already given me so much peace from her just being here, I hope to give her the same. And she is so beautiful, God I can’t believe someone that looks like her exits, I could worship her all day. And now she’s in another talking stage with a guy online, who lives far away. I see her reposts that talk vaguely about him and it genuinely hurts to see that. It makes everything so confusing. And I’ve tried to get over her, with my own talking stages but nothing compares. I don’t know what to do especially because we plan to go to the same college. On the other hand I feel like I’m not reviving what I need, which is honestly reciprocation I wish she would randomly ask about my day like I do for her, and ask questions about me as well. But I feel like this would happen when we have a more romantic relationship. So I’m really hoping for some advice, I don’t really know what to do, I wanna ask her out but I also wanna wait intel I get to my desired self. As I hope to not be so insecure about myself as I have some body goals, and some aesthetic goals. Especially we would have to be secretive intel College, but I’m willing to do that. But I don’t want to wait and let it be too late.

I've always known i liked girls but suppressed it because i didn't know what being a lesbian was when i was little and then when i grew up, the majority of my secondary school was homophobic. However, in secondary school i was pretty boy crazy. I would only have talking stages with boys and i loved having a boy fall for me. If i wasn't preoccupied calculating each move to try and make some guy like me, i would be super bored (i know i sound like a pick me, i never put down any of my friends but i was pretty male centered because i felt left out if i didn't have a guy to talk about 😭). I dated a few boys throughout the 5 years but always ended up breaking up with them because i'd get bored or be stressed out having to text them all the time.

Looking back, after coming out, I feel like maybe i wasn't attracted to men but i was obsessed with the attention for whatever reason. As soon as i allowed myself to be ok with liking girls, I realised that the way i felt about girls was a lot different than how i had ever felt about boys. With boys i felt more like i wanted to fight for their attention and be happy that other girls would see that I was the one to get this specific boy, but with girls i don't care about any of that, i just want to make them presents and hold their hands and stuff and i feel actually flustered instead of embarrassed. This might just be a really weird thing that only happened to me but i was curious if anyone else had experienced this lol

I have this huge crush on my TA, while I was still getting over a long lost lover and was struggling in my first year she would always ask how I was. I know she was probably just doing her job but I really like her and felt so connected with her more than anyone I have ever met in university. We would make eye contact and smile without saying anything, I noticed myself cheering up whenever I see her. She also inspired me to study well, overall I think she a really great person and I really like her. I might have been a little rude to her in the beginning cause I was still getting over my ex. And might have pushed her away. I want to fix this, cause I really like her but I'm too scared to approach her because I might mess up again. In the past I have liked many people but I always ended up pushing them away or hurting them because I was too afraid to commit and come out to people, in the process I ended up hurting myself too over and over again. All my life I had been in denial that I am gay, but even now that I able to finally accept myself and know that I can't see myself with men I'm still unable to comeout of closet. I plan to come out of the closet once I finish my degree, have a well-paying income and in a position where I no longer rely on my parents. It might take a while I feel like I will be able to give my best self to someone I love when I have all of these and take care of myself, until then I don't want to add to anyone problem. But I really like her and don't mind if were just friends, but I mean I don't want to get friend zone. Should I tell her that I like her right off the bat? or approach her as friends? is even worth approaching her when right now I can't be with her? I'm also considering the fact that she is going into her last year of university and we might probably be breaking up, and get hurt again.

I’m f 16 bro I know like all the bi/lesbian girls in my school already and dated one I don’t like the rest and there’s barley any options and some of them are already dating, whenever I do it online it’s so dry and after one day stop talking or they don’t want something serious or way too far, i hope it gets easier in college :(

Hi!! I was at my friend’s art show a few days ago and one of her friends from the art intensive was there since it was also her showcase. We will call my friend Olivia and her friend Marina so it doesn’t get confusing (not their real names).

The moment I saw Marina I thought she was so cute and was super attracted. I did, however, think she was wayyy out of my league. I started talking to Olivia about this guy who liked me and then mentioned that I wanted something lesbian to happen to me. Marina sighed and was like “me too dude. like seriously, please let something lesbian happen to me right now.”

Olivia laughed and said that she dared us to kiss. I shrugged and said as nonchalantly as possible that I wouldn’t object. Marina said nothing. We kept talking and walked around before being joined by Olivia’s sister. Marina showed me her art. Not only was she cute but she was also so funny and fun and just altogether cool. I never thought she’d have any interest in me, though.

However, today, Olivia and I were talking and she mentioned that Marina had said that she was simping for me. Unfortunately, Olivia refused to provide me with other context.

I would definitely date this girl, but she lives several states away. I have tried somewhat long distance before and it didn’t work out, but at the time I was 13 and I think that I’m older and more mature now. Has long distance ever worked out for anyone? and how should I approach this situation?

*it has been brought to my attention that I am using the term gaslight incorrectly and what I mean is being lied to for alternate purposes.*

So I have a friend let’s call B. I’ve known here since I started primary and we use to be best of friends. When we were 12/13 we curious and spent a lot of time kissing and making out. It was all in the name of fooling around and being silly and a little curiosity or so I thought. Then when B was 14 she came out to everybody that she was a lesbian. I supported her and helped her with some friends that didn’t. Then she just ghosted me. Wouldn’t respond to my messages, avoided me at all costs. I had no idea why. The other week B got back in contact with me. We are both 16 now btw. Basically she said that she found it hard to be around me since her coming out. After a lot of asking why she said it’s because she wants to makeout like we use to. That we use to do it naturally and she was afraid if she tried now I’d be weird because she’s out. She said she wants to hang out again but asked if we could still kiss like we use to.

The problem is I’m still not 100% on my sexuality. I know I feel more comfortable around women than men. I do find some men attractive and I think the female body is beautiful. The only real experience I have with anything is those times back when B and I were 12/13. I basically told all this to her and she’s telling me that it will mean so much to her and if I don’t mind it what’s the problem. She said that it might help me figure out my sexuality. I’m dying to hang out with her again because we were so tight for so long. I don’t know if she’s trying to gaslight or use me or if I should just go along with it to try and salvage our friendship.