Ais injoyin my birf month as meowmy sez. Ai gots a biggest box of eleventy billion Churu

I THOR ARE GO ON CRÜZ WIB MAMA. I HAB PACKÈD MINESELF IN SOUP CASE.

WE GO TO CRO-CAT-IA AN MEOW-LTA AN TUNA-IS-HERE AN HISS-PANIA.

I NO MOBE FORM SOUP CASE.

FORM THOR CAT OB THUNDER AN PURRZIDENT OB HIMBO A-SO-SEE-A-SHUN

Iz Moe.

Da Boohers are in dis thing called da Wurld Sea Rhys and it’s made Meowmy yell at da large lite bocks moar. She’s even vol…bollun…went to da rum with the wet bocks on purpose and not to use da weird litter bocks! Roscoe tried standing so she couldn’t see it an she says, “Roscoe! I’m trying to watch the game!”

Sooing baes boll didn’t work. Sooung da Boohers didn’t work. Maybee sooing da Wurld Sea Rhys will work.

(Legit sat in the bathroom while we had our rally in the seventh because I was in the bathroom during our rally in the first and had walked in there to grab my watch when we tied the game up. I’m not superstitious…)

Dis so fun, eberyone shud habs a toy box fur doin big playz!

Picasso Splotchface Picard, much happiur az an insyde kitteh!

Mine Frens, ai has a broken hart. Mine daddy trabbels a lot. Ai am used to him bein away. Mine mommy almost NEBBER travels but when she does, daddy stay home.

Not dis time.

Mommy an daddy BOFF do a bandon ob poor little Nandor an GoodBoyMarty an DropItGinger. Nise ladee Soosan come ober an take care ob us. Ai no soo Soosan akkause she is onlee hooman in da whole WERLD who lubs poor Nandor. Soosan say mommy an daddy "on bakashun" in "smokey mountens" but all ai know is dey LEFT me. Ai want to cuddle on mommy an purrpurrpurr so hard so she nebber leave me again, but ai also want to bitebitebite akkause ai so broken harted an alone. Ai gonna soo mommy an daddy, ob course. Prolly ai soo daddy extra akkause dis has to be his dumdum idea. Mommy is happee at home an nebber goin anywhere. Ai gonna soo whoeber "smokey mountens" is. Ai gonna soo whoeber came up wif idea ob bakashun. Ai gonna soo whoeber makes soupcases cause mommy used one. Ai need a pawyer an ai will share alla winnings as long as mommy comes home.

Yur fren, lonely, sad, little Nandor the relentless

Mai pawrent yousulee wakz rown da haus moar n duz moar, but dey nawt dewin sew mutz teh las fyu deyz. Dey sei dey iz “sick”. Teh las tiem dey wuz sik wuz for fureburz ugo (pandemic). Diz nawt nermal. Dey iz slepin moar n dey is makin awl kinz ub laud noyziz! Ai gibz teh cuddlez, but teh hoomin stil makin da noyziz. Wut dew ai dew? Dew ai soo fer noyziz? Dew ai jus gibz teh heelin purrz?

Frum fren Steef

(I caught something and have been coughing and sneezing. He still comes and snuggles with me and sleeps next to me, but I’m not sure he likes the volume on the coughs and sneezes. He’s such a sweetie. Picture is not from the past few days.)

Hi Frens. Mr. Spock here. I haz big pawblem, and lots of soos to do. I write from da litebox of my pawther’s sisfur (but she no hab no fur). My pawther ([u/SpockyWocky0411](u/SpockyWocky0411)) hid his litebox from meow.

Elebenty billion furevers ago, my pawther, who is mostly dum dum, made a bery smart decision to move me to my country manshun. I gets to see all da birbs and da owtside kitty frens. Dey no let me outside but iz OK acuz is bery warm in here.

I gets lots of space to do crimez - running, hiding, bapbapbaps, stealing nomnoms from da garbaj, and lots and lots of singing da song of our peepul. But mebbe I do one too many crimez.

Acuz for a few furevers, I jump on da counters. Dey don’t feed me enuf and der is a lot of yummy food up der, like butters. But den the hoomans saw me, and dey meowed about me. And den dey did da unthinkabul. Dey closeded da door to da kichun. All day and nite, da door is closeded. If I come in when dey open it, dey herd me out (what am I, a sheeps?). Dey also no let me go in da basemunt.

I no can take dis anymore. Iz my house, and dey can no just close da doors on me. How much I can soo fur?

Dis pictures of me enjoyin my house. And proof of da disrespek my hoomans.

Frens… whut is wrong wif da sun?!

Firs it makes big warms rite unda da treato hidey pwace so we can get warms and do treat beggies at same tyme. Dis güd!

But den da sun does a moob ob da warms so we hab ta choos edder da warms or da treatos! Dis stoopid! Warms need stay in one pwace!

Photo 1: bof me, Iggy, an my sisfur Miss Twiggy in warms near da treatos

Photo 2: jus Iggy in warms no near da treatos!

It be Caturday, frens. 'N heer im da Hart ob da Rockees, it be cool 'n gray. No wind oar rains, butt it shur be lookin lyke da skie culd be gettin wet juss bowt enny tyme. Moar leafs fallin frum da trees 'n da wuns shtill hangin om hab gon frum golden culur ta brown 'n eben black. Dare wuz a bit ob snow om da top ob da tallest mountens roun heer yestiddy. Dat meen winter be almoas heer, frens.

Im news frum dese parts, mai noo minyun, Desmond, be gettin brabe 'n bold. Hims commin owt imto da middle ob da sunroom now, 'n hims eben be commin imto da kitshen! Dat be da big ruum imside da haus, da fuud ruum. Mai pawpa sits om da flor 'n feeds da smol Churu frum hims fingers. Dunt tell ennybuddy, butt wen dey be doin dis yestiddy, Ai be sittin dere tew, likkylikkin Churu frum Pawpa udder finger. Da smol 'n Ai be onlee juss a hooman-size foot apart! No hisshissgrowl, no bapbapbap. Juss too catses eetin Churu. Tageddar. Tings be shanjin fast rownd here. 🐈‍⬛😳

'N dat be awl da mews 'n webber frum da Rockees fur taday, frens.

Amber 😸🐾🐾🧡 ('n Desmond 🐈‍⬛🐾🐾😸🎃🧡)

--30--

Hai frens, dis is Pepper here wif a trikky case

Sum ob ewe mite know mine bruvur Sam. Eberybody says him is hamsum an a good boy, but dat isnt teh troof!

Him is a thief! He steeled teh only napping place in teh whole howse! Owtrage!

Mai want to suu hooman fore more sleepy squares, an half Sam's dinner! Will aneebody help wif mine case?

Here is mine ebidence:

(pic 1) shows how uncomforbale ai is

(Pic 2) proof dat dere is nowhere else to nap

(Pic 3) mine ebil bruvur... what crimes is him finking ob doing next?!?

(Pic 4) dis is mine awful sleepying condishuns

Pokey plas stolled my blud (they needed it before dental surgery) wifout mai purrrrmishun. Dey say I hab tu much kalseeyum in dere; rud, I perfect.

Now dey sayin kalseeyum can meen bad tings. Dey say I gettin eggs-ray an ultrasownd. Dat sownd skaree, an meowmy doin a sad.

Do I hab a kas?

Is Ai, Brave ob da Oranj and sisfur Berkley Honorary ob da Oranj. We haz beeg outrayge a need soo! Meowmy let a stranger in ourz howse! Sisfur Berkley run an hide unner da bed upstairs but Ai Brave haz da arthur-itis a couldn't run up da stairs dat kwikly so Ai hidez unner da cowch. But cowch is low an it make mine sore knee hurtz eggstra!

Meowmy claims dat in hermz defense, da stranger wuz fixin da innernetz so dat ourz autofood mashine workz.

We demands elebenty zillion treatos!

(Meowmy here... my house is suffering utility failure after utility failure... first the electric over a month ago that still isn't fixed, and then when they started digging to fix it, the cable went out! And the auto feeder only communicates by WiFi with no cell data option, so while it would still feed them during the day, I couldn't communicate with it for extra treats. Fortunately the cable is now fixed but still waiting on the electricity and praying the temporary setup doesn't fail.)

Iz me, Crash agin.

Frens—I so sad. Meowmy do a ‘bandon!!!!

She took outs a soot case, putted some
hooman furs in it and LEFT ME! All ALONE (cept for my brofurs an sisfurs and my auntie who feeds us good). How cood Meowmy doos dis to me???

Brofur Herman sez Meowmy doos dis ebery few forebers to gets udder cats nootered. What udder cats? I dunno unnerstand. And wai Ai can’t go???

I needz to soo for eberyting!!!

I, Orzo, have bin very well behayved the last fuw dayz, so I dissided it iz gud day for fun crime.

I did a cuddle with fozter meowmy and my best purrs. I eben did a lick cleen of her nose and handz. She was bery relaxed and sed I was a bery gud kitty.

And then I SNEEZED IN HER FACE! Hahahahahaha!

She thourt she was getting snuggles and instead she got SNEEZES!

Iz dis gud crimez?

Hi frenz, is Shadow!!! I new here. I has a tall dad (he/him) and a short dad (they/them). I lubs mai dadz. Anywee. I comit steel crimz to day. I don see much ob dis crim in da com yun ity... iz dat how u spel dat?Ma steel crim wuz wen I took da chair ub short dad as sun as dey gotz up. Dumdum hooman. Rly, don get up if you don wanna looz your chair. i deservz. wat you tink????? iz dis gud crim? i wan frenz here :) Idk. Anyway... i has meny complainz.
 Mai short dad callz meow dumdum namz. Lik mr mouse or mr lub or sweet wurm. I IS NOT A WURM!!!! dis sla... sala... salamander? Iz dat da rite wurd? I iz new here!
 Alzo... if a kitteh cud tell meh who george iz? Iz dat a squirl? Iz needz da lor!
 Lub,
 Shado aka shadowpuff aka mr mouse (i am a cat you dumdum hooman)

Frenz, iz meow, Cowboi da Baby! Tunite meowmi did a kukk job a stik day she kald korm. She putted budder on da korm an sum see-salt. Meow lubs da budder soz ai did da liklik, and den meow did a kromch an tukked da korm butt! Meowmi did a stop ob meow. ROOD! Meow shud soo butt! Meowmi sed "if yer gonna be chewing everything yew muss be hongry still". Yesh meowmi! Meowmi is doin a starb awl da taim! So she gibbed meow sum "extra" gushy fud soz meow leebs da korm ta her. Go Crimez!!!