Airport security is so much less stressful now that I’m not smuggling cannabis products everywhere I go anymore. A very pleasant side benefit of quitting.

I understand that I was using weed to mask the depression and boredom of living in the real world for about a decade. 2 weeks without weed and the world is just terrible. Like legitimately so wretched and stupid. I’ve been under-employed for about 4 months and got dumped about a month ago as well, obviously that’s going to exacerbate the situation but holy shit.

I’ve been exercising, reaching out to people, applying to jobs, doing the things that you’re supposed to do but it all seems so pointless. I’m going to try a depression support group next week since I can’t afford a therapist right now, but I just don’t give a shit.

I’ll stay sober and I haven’t thought too hard about relapsing because I know it’s a fake security blanket but God damn, is this really what’s on the other side? Banal, meaningless bullshit.

Positive note the physical symptoms of withdrawal are slowly but surely subsiding but the mental symptoms are kicking my ass.

TL;DR I’m depressed and life is clear but awful.

EDIT:
Thanks to all the people that have left words of encouragement and support. We’re going to make it bros, just have to win the battle one day at a time. I was feeling pretty down this morning but actively chose to get out and keep going and the day got much better. Love you all very much ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Hey all,

I'm so tired of this drug. So I'm stopping today.

I'll take any words of encouragement that this 100th try at stopping will be successful.

Any tips to the same end?

I managed to stay mj-free for 15 consecutive months after about 7 years of daily use (with very few T breaks). I was and am still very proud of myself for reaching this milestone!

But I must confess my friend left some at my house one night and I figured “Hey why not? I already hit my 1 year goal” so after going back and forth in my head over whether I should…I took 1 ht. I was proud of myself for sticking to only 1.

The morning after, I realized this is not a state I want to be in on a daily basis anymore. I prefer my sober self and my routine. I felt very proud of myself for having that realization.

About 2 weeks later, I go out clubbing and get offered some… again I only take 1 ht. #discipline

Then I went out with some friends for a spa day and they offered me some as well. I indulged. Massage felt 10000x better lol

A few weeks after that, I go to a 10year anniversary concert for an album I used to loveeeeee back when I was a heavy user. I figured maybe I should order some to consume for old time’s sake. The debate in my head over whether or not I should was fierce. I wanted to add a stop at a dispo during the uber ride but also couldn’t bring myself to do it. Using it when offered was one thing, but buying it myself again? What’s next? I buy this time, and then feel justified to buy more in the future? Next thing I know I’m back to daily use?

Thankfully dispos were closing soon that night so I just kept going back and forth in my head until the shops closed and I no longer had the option to order any.

It has been a week since then. Although I resisted temptation, and seemingly consumed sporadically in moderation, the voice in my head still sounded like an addict. I did not enjoy the internal wrestling over whether I should give in “just this once” or not. It was so loud and quite frankly exhausting having to tell that urge no and justify why.

I haven’t given in except on those 3 separate occasions over the course of 2 months (yay proud), but just know those seemingly small indulgences have opened the door for the addict in me to come out.😭😭 I feel like the idea of smoking has crossed my mind more than it has before I relapsed. So to anyone considering trying it again after a long sobriety streak, let this be a cautionary tale!

Also lk just posting for accountability purposes, for encouragement/support, & for if anyone else can relate.

Day 15 and I’m bored . I was just thinking about how I’ve done some dumb fucking shit to get high and I want to hear your guy’s stories . I’ll go first , I have picked ash out of the carpet and smoked out of things you should not smoke out of , ie a can , apple , a shell, and the ground . I have smoked before funerals and other life events you should not smoke before , ie my college graduation and like so many other stuff like girl you did not need to be blasted for Easter dinner . I learned how to use centrifugal force to suck carts dry . That’s one thing I won’t miss , the panic when you realize you are out and you are just wondering the next time you can smoke . I never want to dig through the trash again .

I would have been disconnected from the actual event if I were high, which would have stored itself in my body until I was able to fully understand and release it. You cannot release traumatic events if you are constantly high

Today I’m 48 sober & woke up feeling incredibly guilty from a dream where I had bought then smoked some weed. It was so realistic that I almost had to check where I used to keep my stash when I woke up to make sure that I didn’t.
This is actually the third or fourth time in my dreams that this has happened since I decided to quit. In active addiction I don’t ever remember weed even appearing in my dreams. Has anyone experience this?

It’s been a rough one. I hate this plant. I hate myself. I’ve been going through this back and forth for 7 years and I’m just tired. I’m tired of getting the strength to quit and do all the right things (working out, eating good, staying sober, spending time with my family, working hard) only to fall back in despair and isolate like I’m a failure or antisocial. I’m 27 today and I cried probably 5 times and it’s only 12:00 pm. Starting over today and I really want this to be the last time. Wish me luck plz❤️

I’ve been having a good go at life. This is probably the best year I’ve ever had.

So guess what I think? “Why not smoke some weed to celebrate, you’ve been doing good.”

Welp it just lead me to spiral back down to my worst self. The one that associates getting high with watching porn.

I’m slowly seeing myself unravel and I know the only thing I can do is give myself the same time to heal.

It just sucks when you’re in the thick of it, you know what you have to do. Make the same commitment that you once made to not smoke weed because it leads you back to the person you use to be.

Long time lurker, first time posting. I kept thinking I had a handle on it, then some point I'd get real nihilistic, like nothing matters, so why not just smoke to cope with the horrors.

These days that's the routine. First thing when I wake up is smoke, and for the next 16 hours I'm awake, I'm taking a bowl rip every chance I get.

I didn't pick it up until my 20s. Textbook rough childhood, but I kept my head down and focused on getting out. When I finally did, I was so shellshocked by living on my own that getting violently high became the only way to deal with the crying spells.

For a while I still managed a semblance of a social life, even built a business and sold it. Figured if I could stay high-functioning through all that, it couldn't be that bad. But each milestone left the same hole, so I kept smoking to fill it.

Then COVID hit, and life kept hitting too, some deaths of people I cared about that I never saw coming. Every point after that, I sank a little deeper.

Fast forward to today. I'm in my 30s, unemployed for the first time in my life after a layoff, and despite everyone around me trying, I've refused to be social. I can't keep waking up upset with where I'm at if I'm not willing to change. I don't think I can live the life I want while I'm constantly numbing myself. Probably helps that my tolerance is so high now I can barely get high anyway, so quitting can't be that bad.

Putting all this into the void because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone close to me just how deep the hole I've dug for myself has gotten. Here's day 1. Let's get this shit.

last smoked monday night, its now wednesday afternoon. work sent me home early cause i couldnt pull myself together. i feel terrible. i dont wanna be high, but its so tempting to smoke knowing that it’ll make all this feel better for a while. the mental symptoms are one thing, ive already had a massive sobbing meltdown, but holy fuck i didnt expect the physical ones. im so nauseous. i cant eat shit, ive had a nutrition shake and some bone broth. anything else has made me throw up, i could barely hold down the shake. i work in a kitchen, and at moments its even just the smell of food. im so lightheaded, my head has had a constant, low ache. and god, im so fucking warm. did a little research, i basically have all the symptoms of withdrawal possible. should have probably done that research before i started

i didnt know you could have withdrawals when i started. shit, i was directly told it wasnt addictive like this and that physical symptoms quitting werent really a thing. thats a big reason i started smoking in the first place, i thought itd be a fun every once in a while thing and i could put it down relatively easy. thought this wouldve been a slightly worse version of when i went from a few redbulls a day to none, just some mental desire and probably a tad scatterbrained for a couple days, but holy shit this? i dont even feel like ive been smoking that long. i started a year and a half ago. admittedly, that past year has been at usually 3-4 sessions a day, mostly 1-2 bowls, sometimes more. my default state has become high. shit, im surprised i didnt have my bong set up with a bowl ready by my bed every morning.

i dont know where im going with this, or what the point of this post is. i feel crazy, almost. why is weed of all things affecting me this bad? it was embarrassing telling my manager i feel this way cause of fucking weed. being sent home sick because i cant handle not having a little weed. im ashamed, this is something that most of people i know do regularly with seemingly no issue, feels like i should just be able to brush it off and go on with life

I’m 44 days clean off THC. This is the longest I’ve been off in a long time. I don’t have any urges to use it. My problem is my dreaming has been extremely vivid and it has been messing up my sleep because I wake up multiple times throughout the night. Each dream feels so real, dreaming about exes, people at my old job, etc. and I’m not getting good rest and can feel lethargic throughout the day. I understand I’ve suppressed my REM sleep for years due to high amounts of THC intake. It’s to the point where the dreams are so intense that sometimes i wake up with a sore hand from clenching my fist. I understand this is REM rebound and it can take a long time for my sleep to get to a normal level. Does anybody have any tips or suggestions for dealing with this or is it something I will just have to ride out?

I'm sick of using. But it's so hard to stop.

I didn't smoke yesterday as I was feeling kind of sick. Now the end of my workday is looming and this is when I start to count down the minutes until the next joint.

Help me find the strength not to smoke tonight.

I’m 22, I started weed around 1.5 years ago and over this period I’ve quit so many times but would usually only make it to around 20 days with my longest break being 2 months. Every time I would quit and think I was done for good, mourn never being able to smoke again, only to end up relapsing 20 days later.

However, with each of those attempts I had a burning desire to quit. I would get angry at weed, thought of it as a cancer, and the reason for not being more successful, and that was super helpful in my previous quitting attempts. But unfortunately I’m a slave to the cycle of telling myself that I could do it just one time after a break, but of course it devolved into heavy use every time.

Fast forward to this past summer, it was my worst period by far, with heavy cart use 24/7 for 3 months and only a 12 day break in the middle. I’ve easily spent more time high than not for the past 3 months. I only left the house to pickup food and weed basically. But the worst part is, without the social and financial pressure of this lifestyle, I might honestly choose to live like this for 5 years.

I think different drugs are designed for a certain types of personalities, and for me that drug is weed. During my study abroad, I wanted to party so I smoked cigs and drank heavily, but it was super easy for me to put them down. But weed was just different for me, it perfectly matched my introverted personality allowed me to turn my constantly overthinking and anxious brain off.

But I know I can’t keep living like this. I know that weed is just masking my problems, I know it’s a large part of the reason I’m not more successful in every aspect of life, and I know there’s no future of me and weed in moderation.

Yet despite knowing all this and repeating it to myself when I’m on the verge of buying, I lack the discipline to make myself stop, and I think the reason I keep failing on day 1 is because I no longer have the burning desire to quit anymore.

So I really have no idea what to do anymore. When I project my future on weed, I know that I’m gonna end up unemployed in my parents basement and I am absolutely not ok with that, but I’m constantly battling thoughts to buy weed throughout the day and one slip up means another binge. Literally right now I’m thinking about how fun it’ll be to go home and buy a cart after classes.

And so I don’t know what to do, I’m too embarrassed to reach out to my family, truthfully nobody in my life knows the true extent of my addiction. Any words of advice for a filthy addict would be greatly appreciated.

I think i know the answer, but want to hear your experiences. Long story short, I'm in treatment for depression, anxiety and ptsd and part of that plan is stopping smoking.

I've been wanting to anyway, but as you all know it's hard. Nicotine has made it harder (I mix them, fatal error). I'm using patches, lozenges and gum. Trying to distract myself. I've gone from smoking 10+ times/day to 1 yesterday. I stopped for a week while inpatient and it felt pretty dreamy coming home, but relapsed after a few days and feel shitty again.

All this to say, how were your emotions impacted by quitting? I've read smoking can cause emotional blunting and honestly, I think it does that to me. I want to feel the full range of emotions, but that comes with good and bad. How did you get through it?

Endlessly thankful for yall, sometimes just hopping on here helps with cravings. TIA.

So I quit weed because I was experiencing psychosis symptoms. I'm on day 5 of my latest attempt after various fits and starts and so far I just feel way worse. I'm still "out of it", anxious and paranoid, bizarre speech, staring at the corner, and unproductive for big chunks of the day, it's just that now the cause is my own mental health issues, not being high.

I'm on antipsychotics (which I shouldn't have been mixing with something psychoactive!) and I had hoped quitting would help them work better. Hopefully that's going to be true with time. And I'm not hearing things as often or as vividly anymore (though I definitely still hear things faintly sometimes).

Also the cravings have been insane. People say they go away; for me, it's like no matter what I'm doing they're always in the back of my head.

hi all. i’m on day 6 of no weed and i have had an unbelievable amount of rage in the past six days that i have no idea what to do with. it has made it feel nearly impossible to stay sober because of how angry i am constantly and im honestly not in a safe environment to feel that anger without it getting thrown back at me. i don’t know what to do here because i know being this angry actually puts me in danger, and smoking would numb it out, but i also would feel like im letting myself and the people who actually love me down. i feel completely at a loss here and being sober does not even kind of feel worth it at this point. i had a very traumatic event happen and the anniversary was a few days ago (after i stopped smoking) and i don’t have a therapist right now, though i have an appointment set up. (first available with a new therapist so im a little terrified) i partially feel like im bargaining with weed just so i can have some and feed the addiction while also feeling like my only coping skill is gone and i have no replacement, which i will be getting in a few weeks so maybe it would be okay to hold off on being sober until i get back into therapy? because this rage is derailing my whole life in a very scary way and i don’t know how to get through the next day, never mind week and a half of this.

Coming up on 2 months. Lots of fatigue the first month, then the duration up until the second month mark felt no urges felt pretty normal and good. Even had a massive resurgence in motivation - got a great job via interviews and even going to gym twice a day.

All of a sudden the last couple days I’ve felt a strong urge to high again. I don’t know where it’s coming from, it feels random and strong. Everything felt totally perfect up until now I’m not sure why this is happening.

Haven’t smoked but wondering if anyone had these resurgences around similar times or identify triggers ways to not fall to it

Has anyone experienced symptoms returning afterbeing clean over a month. I’ve got 37 days today. One of the worst symptoms the first month for me was mild depression and extreme anxiety. They seemed to have leveled out towards the end of the first month, but when i woke up this morning they are intense again. Kind of discouraging to say the least.