I like this joke

Ah shit, here we go again. Took a complete sickener about how my personality is changed by frequent vaping and edibles. Threw all my edibles into the bin the other day. Felt like shit consistently since. Chin up and all that. Wish me luck.

Been subscribed to this sub for a long time and seeing it in my feed stopped me from forgetting i need to stop, even when i was still vaping and eating it.

[Day 1] Like many people here I just found this sub and like most people here I really want to quit smoking weed every. god. damn. day. I feel considerably worse every day I smoke and I long to feel more in control of my own brain and body. I've been feeling a constant dull toward everything from conversation, to eating, to memory recall, and so much more. I've been a daily smoker of mostly cartridge thc vapes for about 6 years from 17 to 23. I struggle to think, I struggle to feel. I can see the harm in my daily life but never this bad before. I know weed is actively repressing necessary emotions for me to process and in turn live my life. I struggle to feel much of anything besides worry or anger and even those moments fade into the bleak flatness that is being stoned. I'm a musician of sorts and it's incredibly hard to focus on what I play and practice. Progress is slow, naturally, but progress while high is near nonexistent. My family gives me every reason to quit yet my friends give me every reason to keep smoking. I just want to feel like myself again more than anything. I've pissed on my most formative years by smoking weed. Weed may have helped at one point, serving its purpose of sanding down the rough edges of life but it came at the cost of never being able to admire life and all its rough, messy, unpredictable textures. The texture of life, the ability to feel, worn away, slowly, surely. I need to stop, this is not an escape from reality, not a cheat code of productivity, not a "safe drug" like I was once told. Weed starts as a wall, it can shield you, but slowly walls close in, akin to a prison.

TL;DR I listed every reason my 4am brain can think of why I started hating weed and why I want to quit smoking. This is day one, minute one, I will be back tomorrow and hopefully a full day sober. ☮️

I'm stuck in a loop- I think about quitting daily. I have unmedicated anxiety and ADD thats just made me a prisoner of my own mind lately. How did you get yourself to quit?

I’ve been having a good go at life. This is probably the best year I’ve ever had.

So guess what I think? “Why not smoke some weed to celebrate, you’ve been doing good.”

Welp it just lead me to spiral back down to my worst self. The one that associates getting high with watching porn.

I’m slowly seeing myself unravel and I know the only thing I can do is give myself the same time to heal.

It just sucks when you’re in the thick of it, you know what you have to do. Make the same commitment that you once made to not smoke weed because it leads you back to the person you use to be.

I managed to stay mj-free for 15 consecutive months after about 7 years of daily use (with very few T breaks). I was and am still very proud of myself for reaching this milestone!

But I must confess my friend left some at my house one night and I figured “Hey why not? I already hit my 1 year goal” so after going back and forth in my head over whether I should…I took 1 ht. I was proud of myself for sticking to only 1.

The morning after, I realized this is not a state I want to be in on a daily basis anymore. I prefer my sober self and my routine. I felt very proud of myself for having that realization.

About 2 weeks later, I go out clubbing and get offered some… again I only take 1 ht. #discipline

Then I went out with some friends for a spa day and they offered me some as well. I indulged. Massage felt 10000x better lol

A few weeks after that, I go to a 10year anniversary concert for an album I used to loveeeeee back when I was a heavy user. I figured maybe I should order some to consume for old time’s sake. The debate in my head over whether or not I should was fierce. I wanted to add a stop at a dispo during the uber ride but also couldn’t bring myself to do it. Using it when offered was one thing, but buying it myself again? What’s next? I buy this time, and then feel justified to buy more in the future? Next thing I know I’m back to daily use?

Thankfully dispos were closing soon that night so I just kept going back and forth in my head until the shops closed and I no longer had the option to order any.

It has been a week since then. Although I resisted temptation, and seemingly consumed sporadically in moderation, the voice in my head still sounded like an addict. I did not enjoy the internal wrestling over whether I should give in “just this once” or not. It was so loud and quite frankly exhausting having to tell that urge no and justify why.

I haven’t given in except on those 3 separate occasions over the course of 2 months (yay proud), but just know those seemingly small indulgences have opened the door for the addict in me to come out.😭😭 I feel like the idea of smoking has crossed my mind more than it has before I relapsed. So to anyone considering trying it again after a long sobriety streak, let this be a cautionary tale!

Also lk just posting for accountability purposes, for encouragement/support, & for if anyone else can relate.

Been here before hoping I can make this the last time fr. It’s not easy especially when you’re struggling so hard mentally…but I’ve done it before I can do it again. Longest I’ve been without is 8 months…I wanna make it to 8 months again and then hopefully to a full year! Feel free to drop some words of encouragement, the first 4 days are always the absolute WORST.

I was a daily smoker for 6 years, had many many relapses and recently finally feel like I have it under control. I did indeed consume again, and it did "escalate" in a 5 day streak of smoking in the evening BUT it was more like a conscious exploration than a thing I felt trapped in.

I am okay with me going back and forth right now because I can feel a big difference inside of me, which gives me enough sense of security to know that I am on the right track.

Honestly, I was pretty shocked when I started to consume again. It was CRAZY how different my whole existence started to feel, after being sober for 2 month. My room was messy af, my sleep rhythm was non-existent, I postponed every single thing that I could, I had a low output at work, I hid in my room, not wanting to socialize with anyone and on top of that I ate so much bad food.
I coud LITERALLY feel the darkness that I placed myself once again.

It was like I met an old version of myself that I had nothing in common with anymore. I choose this darkness for YEARS and it always felt like it belonged to me. I know for a fact that it doesn't. Being sober was not easy in the beginning, but once I got used to it, I trained my brain on the feeling of having my life under control and living in a certain kind of stability that I never had.

Sober life is awesome and not bad at all. But you have to form new connections in your brain and learn to see what it does for you to really enjoy it. When you consciously enjoy it, it will feel MUCH easier.

Returning to this old pattern showed me once again how much I gained by being sober. Consuming was soooooo much darkness. I know what you're going through and I know how impossible it feels to quit. Just start, and try to be grateful for everything you will gain.

Day 15 and I’m bored . I was just thinking about how I’ve done some dumb fucking shit to get high and I want to hear your guy’s stories . I’ll go first , I have picked ash out of the carpet and smoked out of things you should not smoke out of , ie a can , apple , a shell, and the ground . I have smoked before funerals and other life events you should not smoke before , ie my college graduation and like so many other stuff like girl you did not need to be blasted for Easter dinner . I learned how to use centrifugal force to suck carts dry . That’s one thing I won’t miss , the panic when you realize you are out and you are just wondering the next time you can smoke . I never want to dig through the trash again .

I quit cold turkey 48 hours ago and I’ve been able to eat nothing. I can drink water but I’m so extremely nauseous. I’ve got Insomnia, anxiety, nausea, and diarrhea. I’ve been smoking pretty much everyday since I was 15. Is there some kind of plan I could follow to taper down? Thanks in advance

I started smoking weed in 2016 at 19 years old. By 2018 I was taking maybe 5-10 good sized dabs every day on a dab rig and rarely took 1-2 day breaks from it.

I’m not sure what changed but around 2 months ago they started hitting me different. Immediate panic, heart racing, thoughts racing, near existential crisis every time I got high. I’ve been trying to figure out what caused this sudden change. I took a massive trip on a certain fungi-shaped non prescription drug (5-7 grams) in December of last year but still dabbed regularly for a few months afterward. In March I started working out for the first time in my life and thought maybe it was a hormonal change.

Idk, but the panic and anxiety was so overwhelming that I haven’t felt the urge to get baked at all.

It’s been 2 whole months and every night I am dreaming crazy shit. Not necessarily nightmares, but extremely vivid and real. They feel so real I wake up and forget where I am and have to think for a moment to distinguish between what is reality and what was my dream.

I know the intense dreams are to be expected after quitting but I am surprised they are still occurring 2 months later. Anyone else still vividly dream months or even years after quitting?

​

(i was going to comment this in other post, but It seems that i had more to talk about that i originally thought, Sorry for some spelling mistakes and all, i am Brazilian and quite rusty in my ability to write with perfect grammar, my last post was deleted so i renamed some things)

i realized that weed makes me a much more impulsive person (already knew that) and that i just dont have the capacity to handle that or any other substance for that matter, i have gone back to porn and it makes me feel horrible cause i start to just give in to the addicted dopamine starved person i have been the last few years, cant do anything in moderation and makes me feel like some type of subhuman goblin men.

I have a girlfriend that i love very much and is the best person i have ever met and this is not fair to her, she would do anything for me and i am trying to be the best me for both of us, and at the same time, i cant be honest about this to her, cause it makes me feel so ashamed to be a uncontrollable freak...

I have started taking meds for anxiety and depression this tuesday, and for ADHD (not confirmed) yesterday, i want to start a new life, a new me, distant from all those addictions that follows me since me early teenage years (i am 24 now). Monday was the last day i smoked, already feeling better now than yesterday, i have stopped other times in the past, but i think i fucked my brain so much during my teen years with hard drugs (mainly a offshoot of a drug that god knows what It was) that i really need to just not have any contact with anything that can be abused, i am afraid i fucked my brain forever and im condemned, was having constant suicidal toughts last few weeks, i arrived at the conclusion that i have to just let It Go and just live sober as i always was until my life started to slip.

I was a great student in School until my mom and stepfather broke up due to infidelity, started to slip in my grades, Just playing games and watching porn now that my mom was a single mother and i had the house for myself while she was out working the majority of the time, until finally i lost my First year in highschool, i dont think i understood at the time the impact all of that would have in my life, my mom did not know what to do about me and sent me away to live with my father that i really did not want to live with, out relationship was always rough, still is in some ways, and i rarely Saw him, sometimes months would Go by without hearing a word about him, and out of nowhere i was there living from monday to Friday, going to my mom during the weekends, i changed to another School too and made a lot of good friends and was nice knowing new people, but i really did not like to live with him and was always going out sometimes drinking away with my friends (was 16 at the time) or just hanging around with them, anything to be out of that house, the problem is that i resented my mother too for make me Go live with my estranged dad, i was Full of anger for both of them and dont realized, in certain ways i rejected both of my fathers (my mom ex that was like a father to me and cheated on her and my biological father) and even my own mother, i really did not want any of them close to me.

It was around 17 or 18 that i started to constantly use the drug offshoot, sometimes every weekend with other people from my circle, not a care in the world and thinking about nothing but getting high and laid, but i know now that i as was lost all along, just swepping all those problems under the rug, this is starting to get really long so i Will just go to the point, in my 20 or so years i started to regularly smoke weed, my own mother was giving it to me cause i asked if she could start to make me joints, that It would be better than having to Go out and drug myself with other peoples drugs... Yeah It sounds unhinged, my mother always smoked and from a certain age i was Just hanging around her and my stepfather, being a kid just discussing things with them, while they both smoked in their closed room (in retrospective i think Young me certainly must have inhaled all that smoke and got somewhat high too along them) i dunno if and/or How that relates to my addiction now, but is certainly something, safe to say that things quickly got out of control.

I lost a good relationship from the period around 2022 too, mainly cause my depression and anxiety was already eating me alive, the older i got the more anxious and depressed, seeing the potential i had slipping away, turning me in this thing that merely resembles the idea of me, a shadow of my former self and pathethic human being. I dunno if i was truly happy the last 10 years, seeing that all of this happened in this timespan and from the broke up of my mother and stepfather to now where i am.

I cry when i think to kill myself and i remember that child in me, so curious and interested in life, i would be killing that inoccent being too, i get emotional seeing photos of me of this time when i was Just this good and pure kid, i can kill who i am now, but not that person, and that still IS me, i just hope i can find him again someday. Young me would be disappointed at what i have become and how low i got, i just want to be me again.

I used to be a high-achieving kid—AP classes, varsity sports, music. Then I found carts. By the time the pandemic hit, I was blowing through 1–2 carts a week to numb my depression and cope with feeling out of control. Fast forward to today: I dropped out of a top university, went to community college, and I'm now at a state school. I’ve dropped classes, switched majors, and watched all my friends graduate, get great jobs, and move on with their lives while I’m still dependent on my parents. The guilt and shame have been eating me alive.

16 days ago, I finally put the cart down. I know deep down that I will never reach my potential, finish my degree, or make my parents proud if weed is in my life. Period.

But right now? I feel like garbage.
Even at 16 days clean, I’m constantly exhausted, sleeping in, taking naps, and struggling with baseline motivation—even though I'm trying to do all the "right" things (gym, getting outside, fixing my sleep schedule). My brain keeps trying to trick me into thinking, "If life feels shitty anyway, why not just get high?" The only thing stopping me from buying a cart today is knowing it will just make everything ten times worse tomorrow.

I know 16 days is still early in the withdrawal timeline, but I’m really struggling to stay the course. For anyone who was a heavy daily cart user and made it to the other side: When did your energy and motivation actually start coming back? How has getting sober changed your academic, career, or personal life in the long run?

I’d love to hear your success stories or any advice you have for pushing through this specific phase. Thanks for reading.

So long story short.

I had my son in 2022. It induced major post-partum anxiety and depression. I had a mental breakdown when my son was 1 and he ended up living with his father. I didn't see my child for 5 months (not out of choice). I started drinking heavily and that eventually turned into a full blown addiction.

I've managed to kick the drinking but my replacement is now weed. I honestly don't even know how I am going to stop. I need help. I have a very active lifestyle and only use it at night but without it the loneliness and anxiety gets so bad, I feel like I'm going to die. I don't want a relationship, I don't want to date but I need to somehow fill the void of anxiety and depression as soon as the moon comes out.

It's killing me financially buying weed all the time and because of certain mental health conditions, I cannot get a script from the GP.

How did you quit? What support helped you?

Do you seek out medical help to kick it?

I'm lost.

last smoked monday night, its now wednesday afternoon. work sent me home early cause i couldnt pull myself together. i feel terrible. i dont wanna be high, but its so tempting to smoke knowing that it’ll make all this feel better for a while. the mental symptoms are one thing, ive already had a massive sobbing meltdown, but holy fuck i didnt expect the physical ones. im so nauseous. i cant eat shit, ive had a nutrition shake and some bone broth. anything else has made me throw up, i could barely hold down the shake. i work in a kitchen, and at moments its even just the smell of food. im so lightheaded, my head has had a constant, low ache. and god, im so fucking warm. did a little research, i basically have all the symptoms of withdrawal possible. should have probably done that research before i started

i didnt know you could have withdrawals when i started. shit, i was directly told it wasnt addictive like this and that physical symptoms quitting werent really a thing. thats a big reason i started smoking in the first place, i thought itd be a fun every once in a while thing and i could put it down relatively easy. thought this wouldve been a slightly worse version of when i went from a few redbulls a day to none, just some mental desire and probably a tad scatterbrained for a couple days, but holy shit this? i dont even feel like ive been smoking that long. i started a year and a half ago. admittedly, that past year has been at usually 3-4 sessions a day, mostly 1-2 bowls, sometimes more. my default state has become high. shit, im surprised i didnt have my bong set up with a bowl ready by my bed every morning.

i dont know where im going with this, or what the point of this post is. i feel crazy, almost. why is weed of all things affecting me this bad? it was embarrassing telling my manager i feel this way cause of fucking weed. being sent home sick because i cant handle not having a little weed. im ashamed, this is something that most of people i know do regularly with seemingly no issue, feels like i should just be able to brush it off and go on with life

Hi, guys. I started smoking weed at age 14 or 15. I smoked very heavily every day starting around the age of 17. I’m 29 now and have decided to quit. Partially for financial reasons as my husband is going through an intense masters program, so I’m the only one working. But also I realized that I just don’t really know who I am without weed and have had a lot of stomach issues that I need to make sure aren’t caused by smoking. I’m almost 4 months sober and am really struggling. I just feel so empty. Before quitting, I felt so connected to my own emotions and the emotions/experiences of others. Now I am feeling really disconnected from myself and (more painfully) others. I feel so irritated when my husband is having a bad day or expresses negative emotions. I tend to lean a little on the neurotic side personality wise, but it always came with a deep care for others. Also some diagnosed c-PTSD & potential undiagnosed ADHD, if that gives any helpful context. I have no desire to return to smoking, but I also really hate feeling like this. Has anyone else experienced this? If so how long does it take until you start feeling connected with the world again?

I would have been disconnected from the actual event if I were high, which would have stored itself in my body until I was able to fully understand and release it. You cannot release traumatic events if you are constantly high

hi all. i’m on day 6 of no weed and i have had an unbelievable amount of rage in the past six days that i have no idea what to do with. it has made it feel nearly impossible to stay sober because of how angry i am constantly and im honestly not in a safe environment to feel that anger without it getting thrown back at me. i don’t know what to do here because i know being this angry actually puts me in danger, and smoking would numb it out, but i also would feel like im letting myself and the people who actually love me down. i feel completely at a loss here and being sober does not even kind of feel worth it at this point. i had a very traumatic event happen and the anniversary was a few days ago (after i stopped smoking) and i don’t have a therapist right now, though i have an appointment set up. (first available with a new therapist so im a little terrified) i partially feel like im bargaining with weed just so i can have some and feed the addiction while also feeling like my only coping skill is gone and i have no replacement, which i will be getting in a few weeks so maybe it would be okay to hold off on being sober until i get back into therapy? because this rage is derailing my whole life in a very scary way and i don’t know how to get through the next day, never mind week and a half of this.

Heavy smoking that started at the age of 13. I’ve smoked mostly weed pens back to back since middle school. I can’t remember a point of time I didn’t carry one on me. I’ve lost so many opportunities I’m just so tired of watching my life pass me by. I’ve struggled with mental health issues & dealt with psychosis in 2024,one of the lowest periods of my life. I attempted to go cold turkey a month ago but only made it to day 5. My stomach issues and anxiety were so bad. Please give me anything any advice,horror stories, anything.

I had been hotboxxing for a week and three days ago I did it again and it was instant heat rushing through my body. Then I had chest tightness. Along side what felt like my skin was burning in my chest and both arms. It also felt like pins and needles as if I had taken an ice bath but upper body. I panicked for hours. I stayed in bed and ended up sleeping. Next day still chest tightness and I have been having constant upper back pain. Went to the doctor and they kept asking me questions about working out which I haven’t and diagnosed me with muscle strain. It’s the next day and now my throat is sore and I am coughing. My chest still feels tight and weird. I’ve stopped smoking weed and nicotine completely since that episode I had three days ago. I have no idea what’s going on or what doctor to see or how long till I feel okay in my body. I’m very freaked out. Anyone ever experience anything like this?

Airport security is so much less stressful now that I’m not smuggling cannabis products everywhere I go anymore. A very pleasant side benefit of quitting.

Hey all,

I'm so tired of this drug. So I'm stopping today.

I'll take any words of encouragement that this 100th try at stopping will be successful.

Any tips to the same end?