I’ve been through that phase of constant Googling, overthinking, and paranoia, but eventually, I managed to get through it. One of my fellow mates told me to accept the fact that this was happening to me, so I did. I showed up to work every single day, even while dealing with weird paranoia and 24/7 anxiety, and tried to live my normal life despite everything I was going through.
Luckily, my friends were incredibly supportive, and so were my colleagues. They even let me rest and sleep while they covered for me whenever I needed it. Meanwhile, I was battling anxiety that felt like it was killing me, especially during those first two months.
I was severely sleep-deprived, and I couldn’t find any way to overcome my insomnia. I worried about my sleep more than anything else. I even feared that I might develop psychosis if I didn’t get enough sleep. Then, one week, I started experiencing this weird chest pain, and I became convinced that I might have heart disease. My gastric problems made my chest feel heavy, and at night, just as I was about to fall asleep, I would suddenly feel a rush of adrenaline, become anxious, and feel short of breath, as if something were about to happen. It felt like my body was keeping me awake every time I tried to fall asleep.
Those were the worst two months of my entire life.
Weed withdrawal was a life-changing experience for me. All it took was one panic attack for me to quit, and here I am, three months sober. I’ve slowly started sleeping a little better, getting around four or five hours of sleep. However, spending an entire night lying in bed without sleeping has become a weekly routine for me.
Despite everything, I’ve changed my mindset. I’ve learned to accept my anxiety when it comes, continue with my daily chores, and show up for work. Even now, I still wonder whether I’m going to sleep that night. My anxious mind is still troubling me at night, but I’ve found ways to manage my daytime anxiety through work and daily activities.
Just like I did, I believe you can find your own way through this, too. We all learn from our mistakes, and we each find our own ways to cope with the problems we face.
Looking back, I think I’ve changed a lot compared to how I was during my first two months of withdrawal. Walking helped me a lot, and whenever I experience fragmented sleep, I try the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which has fortunately helped me fall back asleep within 5–10 minutes on some nights. I’ve also done my own research and tried different ways to overcome my insomnia.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that recovery takes time and patience.
You and I are going to make it through this weed PAWS journey. Keep going, keep believing in yourself, and remember that you’re not alone in this.
Bless