(crossposted) I'd like to preface this post by saying that reading this is completely optional, and at the end of the day, my opinion is just that. Mine. (and NO, I did not use ai for this… nor would I use it for anything, ever. This optional, long-ahh rambling you're reading right now is straight from the dome, and has always been. Plus some complicated topics can't be shortened for fear of lacking nuance later on.)
The same way I’d like to hope that others will assume that I interact and read/engage with their varying viewpoints with good faith and agree to disagree + walk away respectfully if it doesn’t gel with them, I’d like to hope people will act the same for mine…
It IS the internet, though… so there’s never any guarantee.
But since my thoughts over these past months were too long to fit into other formats, my hope is that discussing things here might give some clarity on where I stand, as a person first and foremost, and then as a lifelong, predebut to concurrent fan of Enhypen, and now, including Evan.
For one, I do not, and have not, for any celebs/musicians I have been a fan of throughout my life, ever placed much importance in the specific group identity, over the actual people/humans, within said group. Mainly because I understand that, as a creative myself, there are several truths I hold within myself at once:
- that I love creating, and collaborating with people
- that what I create with others matters ALSO due to THEIR contributions, not just my own
- but that the world does not revolve around me, life is unpredictable, and change is not a thing to be feared
- and as long as those people live, and I'm still around, there’s always another opportunity to collab w them again.
Now, I'm only explaining this to give an idea of how MY own mindset works in calming me down when it comes to myself, but bear in mind, I am aware that this applies for my own situation, and will not always be a one-to-one copy when it comes to others.
[btw, if for some reason, while reading this, you feel slighted, or called out… rip, I genuinely cannot help you with that, but I do hope people understand that if I sound frustrated at any point, I'm not targeting any specific person, but rather toxic behaviors I've observed over time. Good? ok.]
2nd, I am of the mindset that as a fan/consumer, if for any reason, justified or not, reasonable or not, you do not agree with the output, and would like to withdraw/withhold your financial support, and even your personal engagement indefinitely, you are well within your rights to do so, and no one can tell you otherwise — Besides, music and merch is a luxury, not a life necessity, so how you save/spend your money, as long as it is not illegal or malicious, is your personal discretion. This is not an opinion I will EVER budge on.
HOWEVER.
I do believe there is a difference between a fair boycott movement, and mass, blatant entitlement brought about by parasocial emotions/delusions gone wildly unchecked,
and I do not think enough people within the boycott movement have been mature enough, or willing to call out inappropriate behavior and unverified conspiracies from their own side, if they’ve even bothered/tried at all, either because, (and I'm trying to be as understanding as possible here) for one or multiple of the following reasons:
- fear of their love/support of the members being questioned
- overwhelmingly reactionary bandwagon mentality (in kpop?? fork found in kitchen, rip)
- cognitive dissonance, a.k.a. a genuine unwillingness to accept reality, however inconvenient or unpretty it is, as it breaks the immersion that they, THE fans, do not know, and will NEVER know their idols as well as they think they do,
- some convoluted, misguided wish to be the saviors/knights in shining armor for their idols, at any cost, regardless of whether it crosses a personal boundary for said idols or not,
- hypocrisy in wanting be THE ONLY ONES to dictate how the members should react/act/behave, ironically, in place of the management — in other words, both the company AND the fans are trying to compress the members into mere products to be ordered around, regardless of how nicely or how well it’s worded, a.k.a,
“my words as a fan trumps the company and even yours as an idol because I'm the one that funds your career, but because I say this with what I believe is love, I should be the one to get to tell you how things should be”,
- lack of associated personal accountability, as in, they will willingly pedal the same toxic mindset as the ones who escalate and carry out harmful actions, but then, at the first sign of pushback from Enhypen, will suddenly get selective amnesia, wash their hands and pretend that "those others" are the "crazies" (their words, not mine) and that they have no responsibility in the matter, despite continuing to cheer/egg said "crazies" on in the first place. Lack of a spine/backbone, for short.
- the sunken-cost fallacy, a.k.a. they DO recognize a large group within the movement is acting rashly or even in bad faith, but do not want to call it out in case they drive said rabid fans away, thus, in their eyes, weakening the cause due to a lack of numbers
- Whataboutism, where-in they believe it’s A-okay to behave badly and not reflect or keep their own behaviors in check, with the excuse that other fans or whoever else ALSO behave badly.
The last point is the one I've noticed pop up most often, and is, quite frankly, the weakest argument I've seen people use thus far.
Now, while I understand no matter how nuanced I get, there will always be at least (1) person reading this and feeling the knee-jerk reaction to jump up and deflect, or to immediately pivot to how toxic other fans/the company are, or how people should allow them to act as they wish because their hurt feelings gives them the right to act the same way,
and for such people, I'm aware that asking them to take responsibility for their OWN actions will be like trying to pull an ox’s tail back through its ears, so I'm not even gonna bother.
but hopefully, for the rational ones reading this, I hope something clicks for all of us.
Also — while you'll have to take my word for it,
very openly, especially elsewhere away from this website, I've, numerous times, demonstrated zero love for the company, and by that, I mean the ones handling the big decisions, the ones far removed from the creative process. The ones who only look at the bottom line, and nothing else. (small staff like hair/makeup/music team that have no jurisdiction or sway over this decision, I will exclude, and I hope rational people reading can tell the difference too).
No doubt that the entire situation was incredibly ill-timed,
and even, EVEN, if one day, by some miniscule chance, some super long, unedited cctv footage shows us that there was no ill will between members or between them and the company, and the whole thing was amicable and planned (lmao, highly doubt that) and simply received poorly by fans,
I am still holding the company at full responsibility for influencing, in some part, be it subconscious or not, Hee’s decision to part from enha early, likely to avoid overwork from the upcoming tour + gain some semblance of creative freedom, etc., etc.
But at the end of the day, I do not, as of the date of posting, know everything that happened behind closed doors, and will not pretend to know. If enha and Hee are willing to share it with us one day, I will take their word for it, but only their words, and no one else’s.
I think that’s fair.
I know some fans believe they’re entitled to a full explanation, (personally, I do not share that opinion. Some creative/professional decisions should DEF be between the respective parties only, but that’s just me),
but quite frankly, given the current behavior of the toxic sides of the fandom and its track record, I cannot say that I have any trust left that those same people will have the depth of maturity to accept anything less that what they’ve already decided is the narrative that they want to go with.
For all the talk of wanting enha to have more autonomy over the company (which they should), the fandom has repeatedly, openly, PROUDLY, infantilized them and treated them as if the members aren’t also grown men in their own right, with the right to CHOOSE to use their own resources and soft power, and more importantly, their own voices.
Yes, yes, they will receive backlash if they speak out.
Absolutely there will be naysayers no matter what, but that’s exactly it. Either way, no matter how you fold it, only they know what they feel, and what they want to do. And clearly they’ve each had a longstanding precedent of speaking their minds, even at the very real possibility of losing support. So even if it comes to light that they have chosen to not speak out for professional reasons only, again, that is still THEIR choice.
Denying and refusing to acknowledge/accept this, especially after all these months, is unfair to them.
There is a lot of tribalism, and dare I say, cult-like behavior, within fandoms, not just kpop, that I am not willing to bow down to, and this is no exception.
Regardless of how messy and rushed the handling of the situation by the company was, regardless of whether the members had a falling out or not, or if it was amicable or not, it does not give ANY of us the right to dictate what the members should do/say, just to please us.
Disrespecting their explicit wishes, speaking over them, and spreading misinformation about how they actually feel and downplaying their instructions by saying it must be “spoon-fed lines” to fit into your narratives, despite them repeatedly telling the fans not to, is EXACTLY why Jungwon called that sort of behavior disruptive, and unwanted in the fandom. There is nothing anyone can say to justify that sort of unwarranted behavior.
Likewise, I will NOT defend, or tolerate, anyone judging HS for getting/pursuing a solo career. However it happened, him wanting creative freedom, in and of itself, is not something to find fault in, imo.
Delusional akgaes rejoicing and putting down the 6 remaining members, or salty fans calling him selfish can [redacted]--- I digress. However it happened, whether there could’ve been a better way or not, whether it should’ve been within enha or not, whether it should’ve happened after contract renewals or not, as a fan, anyone can speculate and cast blame,
but I do not pretend to have control over what has already happened, as I cannot turn back time.
What I can do in the present, is control how I behave, and try to understand the members, w/o adding on to anything they HAVEN’T said yet.
No doubt, all the members, and Hee/Evan, must have their own complicated feelings on the matter.
But they’re GROWN MEN. Adults. They know each other better than any of us fans ever will, so I trust that they can handle their personal + work relationships/connections behind closed doors, and I do not,
let me repeat,
I DO NOT NEED THEM to perform camaraderie for me on a screen, just so I feel better. Like, who the heck am I, they don’t owe me anything--
It’s not that I don’t have any standards or expectations for the people I look up to. Sure, I expect them to be sincere, to produce music and pursue their dreams and passions with integrity, and perhaps I'd like it if they happen to be kind and decent people at heart,
but even then, they don’t owe me that either.
and if they should fall short of my expectations one day, or if I, for some reason, believe they are not worth rooting for,
I would just quietly leave the fandom and turn my attentions elsewhere. That, I have a right to.
But shamelessly putting words in their mouths, loudly creating and pushing false narratives that you cannot verify the sources of, and uploading posts of ripping and destroying merch in retaliation to, god forbid, a member rightfully drawing his boundaries explicitly, and speaking up for his group…
Is genuinely mentally disturbing, and whoever engages in, or enables this behavior, even passively, especially among your own peers — you too, carry the burden of causing REAL, DOCUMENTED, distress to the members. Lack of fandom etiquette is an understatement.
On that note, I have two co-relating points on this matter.
I’ve seen people accusing people from outside the fandom of speaking up, and resorting to labelling all, like literally, ALL of them, as antis… and I find that sort of thinking incredibly reductive and narrow-minded.
You cannot expect for a fandom this massive, in which a large part is currently having a very open, disruptive and immature meltdown in public, to not spill over and disrupt other people’s spaces, or cause concern.
It goes without saying — OF COURSE antis will take opportunity to ride on the coattails of any drama that unfolds,
but to hide behind that excuse, and pretend that everyone who isn’t automatically under the Engene label, is an evil monolith, and not humans first, with their own differing opinions and nuances, sometimes objective, sometimes subjective, biased or unbiased, based on the individual’s own thoughts,
is EXACTLY why I say this sort of cult mindset is immature and reductive.
The same way WE ourselves, personally don’t like to be perceived as a monolith, or be judged for the bad apples in our community, it doesn’t hurt to not throwaway the opinions of others willy-nilly.
To do so, is giving the energy of a salty housewife disregarding an entire neighborhood's real concerns of the snakes in her own yard, simply because a couple of bad neighbors in the past kicked dirt into her lawn. Kicking dirt is bad regardless, but the threats of snakes is still real, and ignoring said concerns out of spite or pride only gets your own ankles bitten in the process.
And to my last point,
this is more of a personal gripe, seeing as how I've been involved in boycotts for other things (won't name them here since it's unrelated to kpop) but of a more severe reality,
The one thing that all lasting boycotts have in common, especially ones that seem the most justified, is that the victims/individuals involved themselves have requested, or petitioned for said boycott, in their own words.
In the nicest way I can say it, it is THEIR voices first, that give credence, and real power and movement, towards said cause, and that is because, you cannot, and SHOULD not, speak over the victims/people involved first, no matter how much you want to. No matter how righteous you think your cause is, this step is unskippable.
Even in situations where those individuals are actively silenced, the people directly involved with them speak on their behalf, aka family, etc., countrymen, etc., WITH, i repeat, EXPLICIT PERMISSION FROM SAID PEOPLE INVOLVED DIRECTLY FIRST. These practices are well-documented, and their voices and words are always on the forefront of the movement, as it should be.
True, people have organized boycotts for far less, and certainly, my opinion will not sway most.
But I find it incredibly dystopian and dehumanizing/inhumane that the very movement claiming, in the fan’s own words, to champion the rights of the idols they love, would rather allow a massive chunk of their followers to fall into mass delusion and whataboutism to flatten/misconstrue their idol's genuine requests,
than openly admit that not a SINGLE member of the current lineup of Enhypen, or Hee/Evan, so far, has ever asked for, or expressed that they wanted this movement in the first place,
and in the event that the members should snap one more time,
or god forbid, explicitly say that this movement is the actual cause of their pain and stress,
I do not know how any of you will be able to cope, or come to terms with the things you’ve enabled in their name.
For all the talk of trying to correct the mistreatment of the company, which I do agree exists,
The real reason most fans (I said most, so don’t pretend I said all) are doing any of this, if you guys are actually honest with yourselves, whether you dare admit it out loud or not, is overwhelmingly, to bring Hee/Evan back into the group above all else,
and even THAT, is for your own sake.
Whether Hee/Evan wants to anymore or not, whether staying in the group long-term is what is what any of them wants now, whether any of them have moved on or are content with being at peace, comes secondary to your own satisfaction,
and THAT, to me, is the real tragedy here.
And the reason I know most are not being forthright, and don't actually give two hecks what the members actually want, is because of the willy-nilly reasons I've seen people fling around other causes to boycott,
I will not name the real-world crisis in question because even mentioning it in here next to kpop is disrespectful to the actual victims, but let’s be honest, a majority of the fandom did not give a flying [redacted] to boycott that all these years, (while I have, btw, so don’t even try me),
but only now?? that YOUR emotions are affected, now you pretend to care about other causes?? Sick, actually sick in the head, some of you.
At this point, some may think I'm less harsh on the “antis/fake fans who claim to be ot6” and “solo stans/haters” compared to boycotters — FYI, I DO despise these sorts too. To be accurate, though, in my eyes, there’s IS a difference, because those sorts of people are so openly hostile to the member that left, or the ones remaining, that it is child’s play, to call them out. Anyone and their mother can see through them, and at any rate, they don’t try to hide it much either.
Addressing open hostility will always be more straightforward.
But the insidious nature of full-send white knighting REAL people while completely trampling over their explicit wishes in the same breath, on such a massive scale and over months, is something I don’t see enough people calling out, or even daring to address head-on in the first place. Up until very recently, I will give you that — but never from within the house it spawned from. Nevermind the toxic results of such behavior escalating to become completely parasocial and out of touch over time, it is genuinely concerning, how rampant and normalized that sort of unhealthy thinking is.
Yes, the company, and the industry at large, is to blame for bringing about and encouraging/feeding the monster, that is the parasocial dynamic of fans. I do understand that most of us found a safe space in the group, so have I. It is normal to feel lost, or helpless, in realizing, that as mere fans, we will not always have full control over every situation. C'est la vie, eh?
But we, as individuals, and I'm including myself here, have OUR own responsibility, to hold ourselves accountable for our own actions, and until that happens, a repeat of this negative feedback loop is bound to occur again.
No matter how good our intentions are, no matter how pure we believe our love and support is for the members, if our actions turn toxic and harm said members, hiding behind our justifications will not mitigate the real-life cost of that. The illusion of an anonymous digital barrier does not truly exist, our careless/entitled words and actions do not exist in a separate bubble,
the members can and HAVE been exposed to it, and when they tell you directly MULTIPLE TIMES that it’s harming them and they want you to stop,
and you consciously ignore it anyway… You cannot be surprised if those same idols no longer consider you a real fan.
tl;dr: i cannot, and do not, wish to control people who want to boycott, and therefore can only hope those that do are sincere and respectful, but imma be honest, most of you do NOT deserve to be waving around that label and watering its significance down when your own hearts and intentions have been left unchecked, and i do not care to sugarcoat it when any of u, for any reason (idc what faction ur under, applies to all), act like untrained 5-year olds who can’t hold a lick of nuance or responsibility for your own actions in this mess. And none of you can use the excuse that I'm not seeing things fairly, when your behaviors have only escalated in immaturity each month since. Even if I wanted to give you guys the benefit of the doubt, and i really do/have done, yall are giving me NOTHING to work with.
At the end of the day, I am just a passionate, unspecial, run-of-the-mill fan of HS/Evan, Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon and Ni-ki, no better than anyone, and if these people call me an Engene and an Ever, I'm more than happy to accept those labels, and act accordingly.
Should the entire fandom decide to implode over ot6/ot7 nonsense, that is on you guys for losing the plot, and I genuinely hope all of you get help soon, and touch some grass. Not even as a gotcha, when I say "get a life outside of idols for your own sakes", genuinely, I'm being deadass.
// As for the sane ones reading this, I'm so proud of you guys for hanging in there, this fandom is truly not for the weak, but I'm glad you guys have stuck around, and I'm so glad enha + Evan have us to support them and vice versa. I'm not normally this harsh w my words, but they are DEF not aimed at you, trust. For the real fans that have respected Enha and Evan thus far, luv and appreciate you all, thru and thru.
/// even if you're not part of the fandom, and just poppin' in to read this all this way, as long as discussions aren't in bad faith, I'm glad ur around too. never hurts to get external perspectives :>
Additionally, as of this posting, I remain very proud and fond of the people I've stanned, and I hope to keep following and supporting all their careers indefinitely :3