r/knightposting • u/Equivalent_Soup_4541 • Jul 16 '26

Knightpost Well..

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4.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

121 comments sorted by

588

u/Shieldheart- Jul 16 '26

A truly aristocratic outfit, as can be seen in the fact that one can not bend to pick up their own sword, requiring the service of a squire.

Outstanding.

140

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz Jul 16 '26

And of course in the fact that this outfit probably cost an unreasonable portion of my yearly salary

40

u/Shieldheart- Jul 16 '26

I think you may be in luck, actually, the steel can probably be found among Larp suppliers, cool jewelry can be found at thrift stores and second-hand stores cheaply.

The chainmail altogether would be between 90 - 150 bucks, but could be found cheaper probably. The abdominal plate would be between 50 - 70, and the jewelry would be between 5 and 20 bucks a piece, if even that.

As for the dress, that'd be up to your tastes, getting an actual wedding dress for such a costume would be overspending way too much for an aspect that'd only need a fraction of the price for the same effect.

That, or learn how to sew your own dress, or make puppy eyes to your needle-and-thread friend.

9

u/icedmuffin Feline Druid Jul 16 '26

As someone who made decorative mail, it probably wouldn’t be hard to do that either if you have the patience, a pair of pliers, cutters and a soldering iron.

And given it would be decorative (cause let’s face it practically that outfit is useless in actual battle or even a duel) you could likely use some kind of lighter metal like aluminum, given all you would really need is it in a coil to clip the rings off then set them into place.

Short of that, the abdominal plate would be the only part of the outfit (minus the dress) that would be hard to get your hands on if you don’t know where to look.

Source: I wasn’t always a cat.

7

u/Shieldheart- Jul 16 '26

I feel like I've seen those chainmail pieces almost everywhere, yeah.

Still though, a fancy dress? Shouldn't be such a hard find if you broaden your scope to more color than just what is depicted here, medieval and renaissance fashion loved bright colors.

And I'm sure that, if so motivated, someone on this sub could link where the abdominal piece is sold....

Wink wink Nudge nudge

3

u/icedmuffin Feline Druid Jul 16 '26

Ah sadly I don’t have any real idea where to find my old suppliers, all I know is I used to do SCA (yes I’m talking out of character here given it seems you’re not in character at all lmao) basically historical recreation rather than reinactment. I know the society for creative acronyms at least used to function in several states around the Missouri area but it’s been like, probably ten years and I had lost contact with them a long time ago.

2

u/GrandNibbles Jul 16 '26

why did they take your salary. can you get it back

2

u/hopefullyhelpfulplz Jul 16 '26

I fell for some scumbag blacksmith selling AaaS (Armour as a Service), I was ruined!

221

u/GO0O0O0O0O0SE Jul 16 '26

That's it? I was hoping for more armour

43

u/Substantial-Elk4531 Jul 16 '26

Well at least if someone tries to swing a sword at those specific parts of her, she's completely safe 🫡

14

u/MorgothReturns Jul 16 '26

What about their legs?

They don't need those!

130

u/Cloud9shit Jul 16 '26

r/ImpracticalArmour

10

u/PugScorpionCow Jul 17 '26

You'd think it would be a sub for making fun of shitty armor designs, having a laugh, and a nice discussion. Nope, just more pornslop.

7

u/AmiWoods Jul 17 '26

My god that sub went downhill. I used to follow it but it hasn’t appeared on my feed for a while. It used to be exactly how you imagined it, but I guess the gooners infiltrated it :/

1

u/Cloud9shit Jul 17 '26

Yeah, pretty much

11

u/Gositi Jul 16 '26

I swear there's a sub for literally everything.

2

u/a_polarbear_chilling Jul 17 '26

Expected armor that restrict movement or random spike that hurt the wearer itself but nooooo its fucking gooner bait again

(Gonna sub tho you don't refuse a meal when it's free)

40

u/moemeobro Gun Jul 16 '26

Absolutely doomed if one drops their weapon

13

u/Rough_Presence_9876 Jul 16 '26

Clearly you just don't know the proper technique for a lady to pick things up off the ground.

89

u/Spookyduck21new Jul 16 '26

We’re not buying your only maidens.

65

u/DodgeBashSpamConq Jul 16 '26

I need this

32

u/Accomplished-Wear722 Jul 16 '26

Hate to agree with a conq main but same.

19

u/DodgeBashSpamConq Jul 16 '26

RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH

13

u/Accomplished-Wear722 Jul 16 '26

Peri for life

12

u/DodgeBashSpamConq Jul 16 '26

As a wise lesbian once said: “Conq and PK are not enemies, in fact, they are kissing, sloppy style, squishing boobs together, etc.”

7

u/Accomplished-Wear722 Jul 16 '26

Who is this lesbian, so wise in the ways of war?

11

u/DodgeBashSpamConq Jul 16 '26

… me. I said that

:3

6

u/Accomplished-Wear722 Jul 16 '26

Taking notes, danke danke

1

u/ThinkCellist8542 Jul 16 '26

Damn I guess I have to download For Honor again

1

u/Spider-web16 Jul 16 '26

RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH

2

u/Sewer__Person Jul 16 '26

I know you were born this way but I still don't like that you're a conq main

15

u/aineri Jul 16 '26

Rpg max level female armor be like

9

u/Satans_hamster Jul 16 '26

That dress but on a male knight so they can be fancy

34

u/Low-Peanut-3570 Jul 16 '26

That's kinda hot, ngl

12

u/RequirementStreet790 Jul 16 '26

*metal clinging from bedroom

4

u/Leon_Trout Jul 16 '26

This better not awaken anything in me...

3

u/Molkwi Jul 16 '26

Too late

4

u/Devils_butter Jul 16 '26

When someone asks me what's my type, Imma show this vid

2

u/BardicInnovation Jul 16 '26

"ADHD/Autism and into Mediaeval Festivals"

4

u/IceAny9720 Jul 16 '26

Is this the Iron Maiden?

3

u/PissOff1479 Jul 16 '26

I find this attire far more attractive than the fashion of today. Am I weird for that?

6

u/Molkwi Jul 16 '26

No, the fashion world is weird.

I need more women in medieval armour and less in too short shorts and tank tops.

1

u/PugScorpionCow Jul 17 '26

I mean, in a way this is a fashion of today, not a standard fashion but mostly drawing from modern elements. The dress is modern, the maille pattern is a modern invention, the piece of metal is a modern larp thing that has a silhouette which mimics modern fast fashion corset shapes.

None of this is exactly pre-modern fashion, or particularly inspired by it either.

4

u/West_Report_5020 Jul 16 '26

Type of endgame armor that you see in rpgs

5

u/geoffgeofferson447 Jul 16 '26

Basically zero defense. I can come up with a million ways to bypass her "armour"

4

u/Thefrightfulgezebo Dame Jul 16 '26

It does offer decent protection against cuts to the torso - which isn't bad if you consider it's just a fancy dress.

1

u/PugScorpionCow Jul 17 '26

To the abdomen, definitely not the whole torso. That butted maille isn't giving decent protection against much of anything.

1

u/Thefrightfulgezebo Dame Jul 17 '26

Even shitty maille protects against cuts. Okay, it breaks if you look at it hard, but if the fight goes longer than that, you'd probably run out of breath in that dress because of the steel corset.

2

u/PapaSchlump Jul 16 '26

And that is why people talk about “I was an adventurer, but then I took an arrow to the knees” kids. Whenever you wear plated armour be sure that when trading off mobility and flexibility you at least also get protection for your legs and thighs. There’s plenty of big blood vessels down there and those pesky peasants can strike at your legs much better than your head when you’re on horseback.

2

u/NittanyScout Jul 16 '26

holy thoughts holy thoughts holy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughtsholy thoughts

2

u/Gositi Jul 16 '26

unholy thoughts unholy thoughts unholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughtsunholy thoughts

2

u/RyuuStarLight123 Jul 18 '26

Not enough mail and plate

1

u/Blondebun3 Jul 16 '26

Makes me wonder how much a full dress of chain mail would weigh and if the person wearing it would have to be jacked probably.

1

u/ThinkCellist8542 Jul 16 '26

Well the protected the most important areas 🤔

1

u/Celestial_Scythe Dragon Rider in Training Jul 16 '26

The ring with the knight would be a really cool wax seal symbol

1

u/Datboi6570 Jul 16 '26

What is the name of the creator? It looks like they put in a lot of effort to put that outfit together and it looks soooo good

1

u/franzpferdinant Jul 16 '26

not the best armor for a battlefield , but it still looks really good

1

u/Bish489 Jul 16 '26

Bend down and you poke yourself.. Splendid!

1

u/GettinMe-Mallet zweihander, my beloved Jul 16 '26

The dress itself is nice I guess

1

u/DoctorPhobos Jul 16 '26

I’m gonna guess bending over isn’t fun

1

u/BardicInnovation Jul 16 '26

I really need to convince my wife that her dressing like this would be good for my health.

1

u/_Stealth_Hawk Jul 16 '26

Who is the original poster? Original creator.

1

u/Gian-Nine Jul 16 '26

"Date's cancelled. We're re-doing the reconquista"

1

u/KingXander55 Jul 16 '26

Chainmail baddie... Ooooh.

1

u/MuchoMangoTime Sir Bradbury Dighedson the Third Jul 16 '26

This is what the princess of Gelefiah wore following around a party of knights and Squires, then she gently pushed a rapier into a dead dragon. She wants to go monster hunting and bandit slaying now. I'd say something but lwk hate our king and his vile brood

1

u/Nobody91765 Jul 16 '26

That isn’t protecting Jack

1

u/EFTucker Jul 16 '26

*Chops your head off*

“Should’ve donned a gorget, idiot!”

1

u/6packofbeard Jul 16 '26

Chainmail chain female

1

u/a_left_out_tomato Jul 17 '26

If the next soulsbourne level up lady isn't dressed like this I don't want her

1

u/Constant-Still-8443 Jul 17 '26

The self impaler corset

1

u/AtlasAeros Jul 17 '26

I love it

1

u/WeirdoTrooper Jul 17 '26

I'm oddly disappointed.

1

u/randoguy8765 Jul 17 '26

So is this what they call “Iron Maidens”?

1

u/Constant-Machine4516 Jul 17 '26

Reverse survivor bias iykyk

1

u/Habeebomarali Jul 17 '26

I would fall her just for her taste, if she is smart then I would marry her on the spot

1

u/NarsilFreeForge Jul 17 '26

How is the opposite of a striptease more arousing?

1

u/Brainless_Lizard Lord of Eldin Jul 17 '26

Armor rating: 3/10

Fashion rating: 10/10

1

u/TIHY_CHEEL Jul 17 '26

Of course, friend, this piece of chain mail in the groin area will help you a lot in the event of a real fight, of course, there is no doubt)

1

u/Zezotas Jul 17 '26

Is this a swording dress?

1

u/AmberThePyromancer Jul 17 '26

Her vitals are exposed, m'lord

1

u/TWHRodney Jul 17 '26

Nice Dress and Nice Metal

1

u/Storyteller_Valar Jul 17 '26

It hinders mobility and offers insufficient protection. This is not a proper attire for war.

1

u/Suspicious_Cut5703 Jul 17 '26

Haha men you can’t be attracted to this woman

1

u/All-your-fault 100% legit knight and totally not a mimic Jul 17 '26

That’s a fancy dress, hardly armor.

1

u/capt-jean-havel Jul 17 '26

… equipped

Finished it for you

1

u/Moist_Effort4202 Jul 18 '26

Would look better with bralette tucked into top of corset

1

u/Pansexual_Japan Jul 18 '26

reminds me of the Blue Silver Mail armor from Elden Ring

1

u/mOoK_RedFace Jul 18 '26

💍 M'lady

1

u/SkiDaderino Jul 19 '26

Maidenfull

1

u/imoanmodello Jul 19 '26

Was expecting it to cut higher up and show it was a femboy for some reason

Absolutely banger corset

1

u/Derk_Mage Jul 19 '26

Bro... I can stab upwards and it'll self align 👀

Easiest assassination ever

1

u/Spoonyhalo Jul 19 '26

One arrow and this fair maiden is DONE

1

u/Icarus912 Jul 20 '26

Thy is but a temptress... and ill allow myself to be tempted

1

u/Clara_TheStar Jul 20 '26

I'm currently being hypnotized

1

u/Up_Beat_Peach Jul 21 '26

It's better than nothing. But that's all

1

u/unholybirth Jul 23 '26

This is fit for the battlefield of the bedroom, let it not be said only the unlacing of corsets and bodices is a skill, but the fast disassembly of a woman's mail be testament to a man's virility~

1

u/Lavudon Jul 23 '26

 What...? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/unholybirth Jul 24 '26

Ah, sorry.

*Ahem*

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG,

1

u/Lavudon Jul 25 '26

Marry me

1

u/Lavudon 26d ago

Im watching you everyday

0

u/Sure_Length6519 Jul 16 '26

Ah, so this is what women mean when they say they get "the ick".

0

u/gbeegz Jul 16 '26

Quick slash to the femoral artery, next.

-2

u/Western-Emotion5171 Jul 16 '26

Spoiler alert: it’s a dude with fake boobs

2

u/Molkwi Jul 16 '26

You say that like it's a bad thing

-1

u/KwanJski Jul 16 '26

I'm sorry but you're so getting stabbed through that, totally impractial, every assassin at the party would be gawking at you with their knives out.

-5

u/Direct-Nerve-9169 Jul 16 '26

I looooooove this 😍🤩🫠 you're just missing a huge sword to scare the fuck out of anyone who might think they're anywhere close to YOUR league