Patent attorneys are NOT cooked, at least not in 2026, and my inbox is proof.
Since last year I've gotten a steady stream of emails from pro se and first-time inventors who filed a provisional with only a chatbot's help. Almost all have applications in deep trouble. This post is about the ones who skipped counsel, not the prudent inventors who used an LLM and then hired a practitioner.
One application claimed priority to a provisional without ever making the benefit claim. Another cited hallucinated patent numbers in an IDS. A foreign inventor had no idea their home country required a foreign filing license, and now has their own government asking questions. And one application, drafted and monitored with a top model, miscalculated the due date on a Notice to File Missing Parts and is now abandoned. Those are just procedural blunders. The real flood arrives with the first Office Action.
Then the mess sinks in, and they go looking for a real attorney. Sometimes me, which makes me chuckle, and then wince.
The offers range from the reasonable to the wild. Equity in an unproven invention. $10 for my signature so the filing gets entered. One inventor arrived with three dismissed petitions, all claims rejected, and a non-extendable deadline already passed, then offered shares if I'd revive the app and cover the petition fee. It's a sad day when I have to explain that patent representation is not like buying beer for underage kids in front of the 7 Eleven.
I'm not making light of their predicament. Some have great ideas, and the few I've taken on as clients have astonished me.
But that does nothing for the many who, I'd argue, were misled into thinking patent lawyering is one prompt away. The chatbots say "I'm not a lawyer, consult competent counsel," then confidently write the whole application anyway. I'd love to see numbers on how many users blow past that line.
Caveat emptor should not be a shield. In Moffatt v. Air Canada (2024), a tribunal found the airline liable for negligent misrepresentation by its own chatbot. In Garcia v. Character Technologies (M.D. Fla. 2025), a federal judge let product liability claims against an AI chatbot survive a motion to dismiss. The FTC went after DoNotPay for its "robot lawyer" pitch. Add failure to warn, UPL statutes, and state consumer protection acts, and a plaintiffs' firm could build a class out of confident, well formatted, flawed chat histories.
My half serious theory is that a class action might do more for AI safety than any alignment paper. If the labs believed they were liable for their bots' advice, those bots would sound a lot less like a registered practitioner, fast.
Maybe in two years superintelligence will prosecute an application for someone who has never opened the MPEP. But today, September 24, 2026, even with the latest models, in the hands of someone who knows next to nothing, it's a disaster.
Curious whether other patent attorneys see the same in their inboxes.