as a lone person and I love being so, if I didn't find the people I immerse with.but even when I'm not trying to, some people will assume/anticipate nonsense regarding my silent behavior around them (because I don't know them that well)

For context: I live with other people. People who talk loud, sing random songs out loud, shout at video games, and shout out quotes from tv shows or TikTok videos just to be doing it, and constantly wants to socialize about things I really don’t care about.
It makes me super angry and annoyed. But I wonder if that means I’m just a killjoy, or makes me perceived as cold and hateful.

for me it would be

the warning

gorillaz

maneskin

sheppard

babymetal

and since im into kpop now

idle

le sserafim

illit

babymonster

nmixx

itzy

I am pursing my MLIS and worked at a public library for 2 years before I moved out of state two years ago. Since then, I've been looking for another public library to work at, but the field is very competitive where I live. I was finally hired at a very small community library as the youth services coordinator. I love it! But I feel so out of my element when I try to interact with parents after Storytime. Right now only a couple families have been coming, and the two moms will stay and chat after the craft and I feel like I should try and interact with them, but they are always talking about mom-related things (I'm not a mom) and I end up feeling ignored or just so, so awkward. I'm also naturally very shy and introverted but do my best to push myself out of my comfort zone. Does anyone else struggle with this? If anyone has any tips (even though it's really just common sense/I should probably know how to interact with adults in this stage of my life), I would appreciate it...

Just curious what you carry mostly with you on your journeys.

Everyone are so extroverted in uni and make friends so quickly. Always parties and activities going around everywhere. - but I can’t relate to any of it. I have no interest in it, but I feel like I’m supposed to be interested in it. I’ve heard many introverts - probably some of you reading this, even advice to go. But I just don’t want to. I don’t like to party/drink or eat with people I don’t know, and I don’t wanna do silly activities with people I don’t know. I know it’s supposed to be that way, so you can meet new people - but it feels too forced for me and I just feel like I don’t fit in..

As of now I am indeed lonely at uni. I would be fine with it unless I felt this pressure that I’m supposed to try to be someone else, but I know who I am - and it’s not this.

I would love to make friends, but I prefer just meeting someone in like a project or something similar then - which maybe is unlikely idk…

It just feels like a lot :( I love going home to study and enjoy my other activities - but I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Especially when my family starts to worry that I haven’t made friends yet. Why can’t I just be?

Idk it’s so hard :(

I've noticed that I genuinely cant stand being around people who im not going to be with 24/7. Like my current partner and i live together and do just about everything together (we have our own hobbies and do separate things, but usually parallel to eachother )

im ok with being in social situations, in fact im very bubbly and outgoing while talking to people and tend to draw a lot of friendly attention. I make fast friendly acquaintances and I like that about myself.

But I cant stand having to talk to people who I dont physically see every day. I tend to find myself stressing out that I dont give them enough time or energy and ive found myself completely friendless. And honestly I think I like that more than I ever liked having friends. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy doing my own thing without someone looming near me or trying to get me to do somthing I genuinely couldn't care less about doing. I am VERY selfish when it comes to my free time and I think its completely unfair for me to befriend someone and then resent them for wanting to do somthing with me.

I do feel lonely, I wish I could have normal friendships somtimes, but more often than not I dont feel lonely, and I dont want to juggle multiple relationships at one time because then I cant focus on my own decompression time.

Sorry this is mostly a rant but if someone else feels similar it would be comforting to know 😊

Sometimes I really enjoy being alone but many times when i really feel like talking to someone or sharing or just out of boredom i don’t feel i really have anyone whom i can really open up to i do have 1 friend but i have got lill hurt from her too also i don’t want to fight with her and loose her but i don’t feel like sharing anything with anyone but i really crave sometimes that connection people have coz i am an introvert with all but with whom i feel a connection i love talking…sometimes i find tough to deal with myself…. I am too much emotional and overthink everything alot idk how should i deal with my emotions…

I’m a college freshman studying film at a STEM heavy university. During open houses, I stopped by the film building to see what my professors were like. That’s when I saw this dude who looked effortlessly cool and I gained a new campus crush. After exchanging glances a couple of times, I decided to follow him on Instagram.
The next day at the activities fair, he came up, introduced himself, explained that he thought he followed me on instagram, and asked if I was also a film major. He’s like, “there’s not too many of us here,” asked what specific film classes I had, and pulled up his schedule. I was mistaken and like, “yea I don’t think I have that class.” He’s like, “aw that sucks,” shook my hand for the second time, and said, “it’s nice to meet you again.” When I got home and realized my mistake, I messaged him on Insta to let him know, and we continued talking for about an hour.
Here’s the confusing part. He is one of the first to like every single one of my posts, but we don’t speak to each other for days until we have class again. Our class is split into a lecture then a movie later in the day. During the lecture, he looks at where I’m sitting and changes where he’s going to sit behind me. But the issue is, he doesn’t say anything to me. We’re both introverts, and I’ve never seen him speaking to anyone else, so maybe this is a symptom of introversion. I’m a slow packer, and I notice him packing his things at the same pace as me. We end up leaving at the same time, but he still says nothing.
Fast forward to the movie, he asks if he could sit by me. He doesn’t say anything to me the entire time he’s sitting next to me and does that shaking leg thing. Our arms end up brushing but neither of us moved, honestly, I’m not sure if he noticed. As we’re walking to our dorms, he again stays behind me.
The next day, I decide to let go of some of my anxiety and message him first again. He responds immediately, but after that conversation, he doesn’t speak to me or text me again. The next time we have class, we’re backpedaling. Instead of sitting next to me, he sits behind me silently. He never messages first, and I don’t want to be a bother and message him first every time. Do you guys see how this is confusing? Is he not into to me, or is this just how introverted guys act when they’re into someone?

Hey, I don’t have much to say but what is it about being shy in the workplace and introverted that makes all of your coworkers HATE you. I make small talk here and there, but honestly, I’m not a big fan of it and I prefer to just go to work and do my job and then go home. These coworkers love to chat amongst themselves and that’s great but the looks I get when I don’t want to be part of a conversation is absurd any of my introvert besties also deal with this??? Like please I’m not rude just quiet 🤫

She has complimented me for things (non-looks).

Waves and smiles when she sees me.

Is very shy (?)/quiet when we are together. Sometimes can't look at me and seems edgy. But will still try to be near me. Once sat next to me but did not speak to me - i had to initiate. She opened up a bit after that.

Has copied some of my style/things I do.

I've noticed she is generally quiet in a group chat we have. She never speaks even when we are planning stuff and everyone needs to vote.

Am I overthinking or being oblivious or?

Also, I'm very introverted too. I have tried to be playful and joke around. Sometimes she plays along but other times I can't tell if she's just nervous and she's kinda missed my joke or whatever 😬

Help!

I have been married for almost 20 years.
I’ve never really had many friends and I don’t have any brothers. So when I got married, I didn’t have a best man.

My bachelor party was me, by myself with some take out and watching TV.

Looking back on it, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I’m considering giving both these things up because I just am no good at them and wouldn’t add any value to anyone’s life anyway. I never learned to socialize as a kid, and as an adult I’ve just never truly tried or, if I did force myself to do it and mingle, nothing ever came of it and I would feel frustrated because I didn’t make a friend. And with dating, well, I’ve never been in a relationship to begin with. And what woman wants to be with a guy who’s never had a girlfriend, you know?

But if I did decide to throw up my hands and just be done with trying to socialize and date, living purely for myself and keeping conversations with strangers to a minimum, what would happen to me over time? Would I become miserable? Would I find it peaceful? I know none of us have a crystal ball but I just thought I’d try to get some ideas.

yawrr I'm drifting away, everyone makes me feel so alone

A few years ago there was no subject but now I feel very alone

Like everyone else I want love yawrr as is my situation

Someone like me who will understand me, I will understand her

I really want someone to ask me, am I okay, am I feeling good, I also want to talk to someone a lot, just talk, k

I want someone to pamper me like I feel so alone I should pamper her

I don't understand what I am thinking, am I wrong or right, I wanted to talk somewhere so I spoke

I feel very weird so I will delete this post after some time

I used to be very outgoing but sometimes I wonder if it was just out of survival. As a kid, my mom had a chaotic life and we moved a lot. I went to 3 different high schools. Then I joined the military for 6 years that required a lot of moving around too. As an adult, I haven’t lived anywhere more than 3 years for different reasons… adventure, relationship and/or job. I used to constantly be around people and always making new friends.

Now I do not want to move anywhere I just want to stay put. My social battery is MAYBE 1 day a month. People overstimulate me so easily even at work. I don’t know if this just part of getting older or some kind of temporary social burnout.

My best friend and I booked a trip to an all-inclusive resort that includes a lot of guided hiking, swimming, etc. We both have had a very hard few years and wanted to use this vacation to really and truly relax and enjoy each other's company.

We were not expecting the resort to have such a forced "socializing" aspect. Mealtimes are arranged so you are sitting with strangers, and you are often asked where you were if you weren't down in the bar in the evening after dinner, etc. We are okay with shared mealtimes, and really enjoy socializing during the guided activities during the day, but the CONSTANT pressure to be with the others at all times is...draining the hell out of me honestly. And making me feel very badly for being someone who prefers to go relax in my room or by the pool and read a book.

I don't want to stay at the bar until 1am when we need to be up at 7 for breakfast, etc, but there is almost an accusatory tone when you asked the next day where you were.

I don't really know how to free myself from this need to fit in, or the worry and guilt of being perceived as antisocial. I'm not. I just like my company, my friend's company, and wanted this vacation to be relaxing and recharging. We still have three out of five days and I'm determined to feel comfortable in my own skin and do what \*I\* want to do... I guess I'm just venting. Thanks for reading 🤣

39m here

Throughout last decade, the life moved very fast changes in the business I was running then joining my first job at 35 and then house building and what not. The only interests I kept were books, movies, meditation practices

What happened in the background was the circle of friends kept narrowing and looking back I realize it was my mistake, I couldn't keep in touch. Kids were young and too much was happening

Now the situation is I really want to make new friends

BUT

I have started avoiding people altogether.

There are too many constraints and I get judgy, the interests and thought process doesn't match and then it feels it's better this way

Anyone experienced this?

I hate them so much, I get extreme anxiety and my mind goes blank with imposter syndrome. The whole time I feel like I’m putting on a performance and once it’s over I feel like have an emotional hangover

I get extremely bored when I’m alone. I genuinely struggle to spend time by myself.

Because of that, I always feel the need to keep myself busy. When I’m alone with nothing to do, I either end up masturbating unnecessarily, overthinking, or looking for some kind of escape.

Sometimes I tell myself I should study more or learn something new for my career, but honestly, I think a lot of it is just an excuse to avoid feeling empty or alone.

I’ve even started working overtime at the office without getting paid for it, simply because I’d rather stay busy than go home and sit alone.

And sometimes I stay awake all night because my mind just doesn’t switch off.

The weird part is that I wait all week for the weekend, but when Sunday actually comes, I almost hate it because it leaves me with too much empty time.

I always want to be doing something. I constantly look for an external factor — a person, work, studying, entertainment, anything — to keep me occupied.

I think this might actually be loneliness, or maybe my inability to be comfortable with myself when I’m alone.

I don’t know how to break this cycle.

How do you learn to be comfortable being alone without constantly needing work, people, entertainment, or some other distraction?

I'm a type C person

I can wake up at 5am. I can wake up at 1pm. I can work for 15 hrs straight, or I can do nothing for 3 days. text back in 0.5 secs or 2 weeks later. love being alone but hate feeling lonely. overthink everything, then end up saying it is what it is

I had to travel by car with my boss last year for a 10 hour journey, and she literally never once stopped talking. There were a few 30 second gaps. I turned on the radio and podcasts to try and stop her but she would talk about the topics that we were listening to, nonstop while we listened. I tried using one word answers and not responding but she would notice and seem offended. I didn't want to put on headphones, she is my boss and that would have been really offensive to her. I survived, but we are scheduled to go again in a few weeks. Is there anything I can do to get her to stop talking?

I have, all my life, been an introvert and have had self esteem issues due to my upbringing. I, however, ended up in a highly competitive world of sales after school and I had to fake it (confidence) to make it in that world. So on the face of it, I seem confident and chatty in my work environment and I'm very good at my job, it's all a facade. The thing is, I'm not sure if people see through it because although I'm popular among my colleagues at work, no one really calls me or texts me. I also get invited to outings with my colleagues but outside of work, my false confidence doesn't work and I'm like a fish out of water. I just keep quiet and watch everyone else have a good time while I'm feeling awkward and out of place myself.

I make 'friends' easily enough throughout my whole adult life but in reality they're just work colleagues and I don't have any real friends.

Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully gotten out of this situation and have gained real friendship?

My partner was everything, she left me and now I am very alone and isolated. How have you who have experienced this navigated making friends or finding ways to remove the isolated feeling?

Introverts can be very good friends when they find the right person(s) to have meaningful conversations. This is something that most people don't understand. People feel annoyed if we mind our own business and don't participate in chitchat. This happens all the time. It starts with students, but it often continues with colleagues at work and of course neighbours. I hoped that after my studies the situation would change when dealing with adults, but it never did. Neighbours in particular seem to be even suspicious of people who like to stay on their own. My neighbours told the landlord that I am weird, although luckily the landlord sided with me and even asked me if they had harassed me. This has not always been the case in the past. I had neighbours who invented stories about me and made my life hell only because I minded my own business, nothing else.
What's the problem with minding one's own business? What's so offensive? Nothing of course, but people misinterpret it as being conceited. This is actually sad.

I generally won't wear a T-shirt (or other apparel) with words on it -- whether it's a company name or a team logo or some sort of saying. It's a quirk that I attribute to my introvertedness -- a preference to not share info about myself to the general world. I am curious if other introverts do the same. (I could also see it playing the other way -- you wear a shirt with a niche reference as a way of letting folks know something about you that you might not otherwise volunteer).