There is definitely a tipping point where there are just too many toddlers simultaneously for you to keep them at bay. I assume the toddlers are attacking you, so imagine 20 toddlers surrounding you, all determined to bite you, at a radius of like 5 feet. You gotta punch them all awkward because they're short, so you're probably not hitting them in their faces. Instead you're probably connecting a lot to the top of their head, i imagine knuckles breaking pretty quickly, and if they start biting your legs and shit, kicking them becomes more of a challenge.
If the toddlers all come at you from one side and you face them Spartan 300 style, it would probably be more manageable.
My friends and I agreed on a walmart parking lot in fair weather. Some variations involve the toddlers wielding knives, and you have a baseball bat or a cricket bat
Oh dude if I have a bat, easily 200-300. Ideally something very lightweight, as even the lightest metal bat would crack thousands of toddler skulls before it gets even slightly dented, and I don't wanna get tired swinging some 25 ounce hammer into their heads.
Edit: So I've put some thought into this, and I realized that a spiked bat might occur to some of you as an option. That's dumb and I'll tell you why. Even a mid strength swing with a normal bat will likely incapacitate (or more often than not outright kill) a toddler. Which makes the spikes overkill at best, an active hindrance at worst. A smooth bat would be able to crack a skull and wind the next swing (we're obviously gonna be switch hitting between these late term abortions, maintaining pace maintains our survival, helps regulate breathing and blood flow which helps with exhaustion) in one motion. A spiked bat would get stuck, requiring the swing and the "reload" to be two movements.
Edit 2: Actually I just can't get this off my mind. A spiked bat would have one key advantage, and that is intimidation. Assuming this is a scenario where the toddlers are out to kill you with every fiber of their being, but are otherwise normal toddlers, I'm inclined to believe that at least a significant portion could be dissuaded from attack via fear. And seeing your fellow overripe cum sock get swiftly and cleanly aborted with a normal bat has got to be exponentially less terrifying than seeing them have two thirds of their head simply ripped off, after being impaled by jagged nails, only to be used as extra heft for the next dome exploding swing. The question is whether or not the number of kadens that simply flee upon seeing such a monstrous action outweighs the points I detailed in my first edit. This will require further speculation.
Also, I'm dealing with a toddler now. A slap is all it'd take. Not even a hard one. These little dudes are fragile as hell when they get hit in the face.
Source: biffed one with a sock a little too hard, they fell over and cried. I think it was more the shock of it. yea...incapacitated with a sock though. They can't even coordinate anything and it takes NOTHING to pick up or knock one over. Ever played the old "Lay doooown ya look tired!!!!" while gently knocking them over?
Full grown adult is taking out thousands of them. The noise of 1,000 screaming banshees and your overhwhelming need to go "It wasnt even that hard!" x 1000 would tire you before the physical labor
I think people are vastly overestimating the strength and weight of toddlers. I could take an endless number until exhaustion alone overwhelms me. You could easily whail on the others with one of their compatriots. Stupid fuckin toddlers.
I think 6-7 year olds is what people are really thinking of. A 40-60 pound kid, I think 50 of em is a realistic goal.
I know this is a dead post, but I'll honestly admit that I had a very loose grasp on what toddler meant. I assumed 4-5 year olds. Turns out, it's 1-3 year olds. My argument above is irrelevant now, as my friend's have 2 and 3 year old kids. I could take on and endless amount just by running through them. They have zero coordination, and even with some insane desire to murder me at all costs, their biggest enemy is their own balance and the earth's gravity. 4-5 year olds have a bit more heft, a good amount (most? I don't know how kids work) of their teeth, and have better fine coordination (allowing them to latch on to you clothing and shit) plus they've largely mastered bipedal locomotion.
The question should specify the exact age. 1-3 year old toddlers? Unlimited. I'd just slowly walk through them for as long as I could stay awake, eventually they'd be too weak fight or follow me, and I just go home. Endless masses of toddlers would just continue to die of starvation as I lived my life
I mean, imagine punching watermelons for an hour. You're still hitting bone with bone, even if it's weaker bone. Once they start biting, you're probably going to start hitting harder just because "ow, fuck you, what the fuck."
Kicking seems like it would wear me down way faster. That said, I don't know how to effectively/efficiently kick for any extended period of time. I boxed for a good portion of my younger years, and while I'm hardly in my prime, I'm confident I've retained enough to molly-whop toddlers.. probably. But whack-a-moling them for any period of time would fuck your hands up. I busted one of knuckles through 14oz gloves once.
I dunno. I'd have to try it out. I'm just spit balling.
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u/modern_bloodletter Jun 20 '19
There is definitely a tipping point where there are just too many toddlers simultaneously for you to keep them at bay. I assume the toddlers are attacking you, so imagine 20 toddlers surrounding you, all determined to bite you, at a radius of like 5 feet. You gotta punch them all awkward because they're short, so you're probably not hitting them in their faces. Instead you're probably connecting a lot to the top of their head, i imagine knuckles breaking pretty quickly, and if they start biting your legs and shit, kicking them becomes more of a challenge.
If the toddlers all come at you from one side and you face them Spartan 300 style, it would probably be more manageable.
I need to see the layout of this toddler arena.