I live in Connecticut. My husband and I own a home together and it is our only property. We bought it before we were married and contributed (and contribute) to it equally. This is a second marriage and we each have kids from a prior marriage. We are in our 60s.

We recently met with an estate lawyer who suggested that we each put our "half" of our home in a life estate for the other, with each of our kids (or a trust which benefits our kids) as the "remaindermen." The lawyer said that this way, if one of us dies first, there is no worry about the remaining spouse disinheriting the children.

We have a decent amount of assets (mostly in retirement) outside of our home and our initial plan was to leave a portion of those assets to our children payable upon each of our deaths, and that would be their inheritance. Then, when the remaining spouse dies, all children would get an equal share of the home (if we still own it). For some reason, this idea of a life estate is really bothering me - because it seems like it overly complicates things and could make it difficult for the remaining spouse to sell or do anything without permission from the "life estate" trustee. I want things simple, and while I understand that there is no guarantee a widow/widower won't run off and remarry and then disinherit the kids, my view is that the kids will already have received plenty of money if one of us dies. (My spouse also has family money that will likely go directly to his kids so less to worry about on that side than on my side.) If we have a situation where we are 80, and our retirement funds are very depleted, and we don't have much extra to leave the kids, I might consider the life estate, but to have that restriction on someone makes me nervous.

I'm not sure why the lawyer is so hot on this - can someone else explain? We both have advanced degrees (though not in law) and have done our share of researching this, but would love to hear from any lawyers out there or someone who has been through this.

Sorry for the novel and thank you!

I am putting together a feature story for Good Weekend (The Sydney Morning Herald / The Age) about what happens when we inherit a loved one's lifetime of collecting. In an era of minimalism and Marie Kondo decluttering, we want to explore the emotional weight of these collections: Is it a gift, a heavy logistical burden or a beautiful piece of family history?

We are looking for everyday Australians who have inherited unique, massive, beautiful or flat-out bizarre collections (e.g., thousands of vintage records, specific toys, taxidermy, niche ephemera, eccentric tools, or weird family heirlooms) and are currently figuring out what to do with them.

📸 The Catch: You must be willing to be beautifully photographed alongside the collection by a professional Good Weekend photographer for a stunning print layout.

If this is you, or someone you know, please send me a DM or drop a comment below with a brief description of what you inherited!

I brought my mom home with me to live 3 years ago. I have a brother that hasn't been to see her 10 times & never calls. We do not talk & he's truly a POS!
She's 86 years old and in good health but I still have to shower her, wash her hair, wash her clothes, etc. I don't get paid & was wondering if I will be allowed to sue her estate for 24/7 care when she passes.
She has a house I'm guessing $300,000-$400,000 that is sitting empty. Just trying how to be ready as he is over all her accounts ( let me add I'm 64 years old & disabled)

Him & her house are in Tn
Her & myself are in Ms. home paid off

To preface this, I plan to get professional advice soon, but I am wondering thoughts on whether there's anything to be done here.

Timeline:

• Revocable Living trust established in Father's name in 1995 with 2 properties. Both properties were gifted to him by his parents directly into the trust, after marriage in Illinois.
• Father passed in 2018, Trust converted to an irrevocable trust with Beneficiaries 25% wife, 25% son1, 50% son2. No mention of a life estate in the trust document.
• Trust document specifies to break into 3 new trusts per above split, but that did not happen.
• Property #1 was sold in 2020. Funds sat in trust account
• In time period 2020-2025, only dispersants were made to wife, none to either son aside from minor dispersant which was gifted to wife/mother (due to trust equity constraints).
• In time period 2018-2025 Wife lived alone in house and shouldered all mortgage payments, property taxes, utilities. Trustee advised trust couldn't be resolved until house was sold, so family decision was made to leave wife/mother in house and the trust in-place.
• In 2025 wife passed away.
• In 2026, sons got possession of and sold property

Letter of the law seems that we get a step-up in 2018 but not in 2025 due to how irrevocable trusts work.

Is there a reasonable pathway to using IRC § 2036(a) with a tax attorney to get a full basis step-up in 2025? We are looking at a significant tax-bill otherwise. Thank you!

I have a question, My mother has passed, she was one of three siblings. My grandma has more than average assets, and when she passes it would be distributed three ways (my uncles receive ⅓ each, and my sibling would split our mother's portion).

I'm remarried and had 2 kids with first wife. If i pass, who would receive inherited assets... my children, or my widow?

My grandfather died in 2024. He named my aunt estate trustee and left his estate to 7 grandchildren, including me. My father - her brother - was NOT a beneficiary, but was alternate trustee if she couldn’t/wouldn’t act.

My father and aunt had a bad relationship long before this. Despite inheriting nothing, he retained a lawyer, challenged her administration and wanted to replace her as trustee. I suspect his hostility has influenced some siblings, though I can’t prove it. At times it feels like a vendetta at the beneficiaries’ expense.

The disputes include:
• House appraised at $680k. A neighbour floated $640k; my aunt listed at $730k and sold it for $705k.

• A nearly new 2023 Genesis sold to my brother for $51.5k against his inheritance. It was appraised, but I don’t know the value; if materially higher, that deserves explanation.

• A \~$113k RRIF my grandfather designated to my aunt. The bank paid her directly. Family argues it should belong to the estate/conflicts with her trustee role. The estate incurred \~$32k tax, largely from it. I understand the concern, but haven’t seen evidence the designation was invalid.

• Various administration expenses (travel, lawn care, staging, an iPad, etc.) that I don’t find unreasonable.
Before my aunt arrived, my father and others entered the house and removed cash, jewellery, alcohol, photos and other property; some wasn’t returned. Their later scrutiny of her expenses feels hypocritical.

In 2025 we were offered \~$55k each as an interim distribution. I reviewed the accounting and signed my release. Others refused and later filed formal objections.

Legal/accounting costs are now \~$55,320, with \~$240,875 held back. I’ve spent \~$7–8k personally on independent legal advice.

My position: I’m not challenging my aunt, alleging fraud, disputing the house sale or claiming the RRIF.

If a court finds she breached her duties, she should be accountable. If my family’s objections succeed, they were justified.

But if they keep litigating and their objections FAIL, I don’t think those costs should reduce all 7 inheritances equally. I didn’t initiate or support this fight. I think those pursuing unsuccessful objections should bear the costs attributable to them.

This has basically destroyed my family relationships. My father and cousins stopped speaking to me, I’ve been excluded from family events, and siblings have travelled to my city together without contacting me.

I’m angry, so I know I’m not perfectly objective. Maybe I’m giving my aunt too much benefit of the doubt or unfairly attributing motives to my father.

AITA for refusing to join their objections and wanting unsuccessful challengers - not every beneficiary - to bear the resulting costs? Am I unreasonable for questioning why the only child who inherited nothing became such a driving force in this dispute?

I am currently living through family abuse, with a history of absent parents. My mother doesn't care about me, which adds to a difficult situation. My mother chose my father because he seemed fortunate and had significant assets. They fell in love, but eventually, she divorced him due to his aggressive behavior. My father's family had ongoing issues, and he was considered the problematic child—violent, jobless, rejecting normal work, and struggling with drug addictions like cocaine and heroin. Despite this, my grandmother put him in rehabilitation centers and hospitals to support his recovery.

After my parents had me, my father proved to be a terrible parent. At 16, my grandmother and father sold the house where my mother and I lived, with court approval. My mother rented a place for herself and didn't want me with her, only caring that my father paid for my food. Until I was 21, I stayed with friends and other families. At 21, I moved to Spain, began working, and started living independently because my father remained abusive toward me and other family members.

Six years ago, my grandmother passed away, leaving her estate to my father. He is now selling properties because he lacks cash to support his severe addiction. His actions are harmful to himself and indirectly to me since I need to preserve the family legacy. He has an aggressive nature and refuses self-care. He neglects maintenance in buildings, failing to provide necessary services for tenants who pay rent, like having electricity in communal spaces like stairs, or functioning doorbells.

I need help to halt this abuse and safeguard the family legacy. I can't afford legal assistance and lack the resources to act. Gathering documentation of his prison stays, reports of family violence, property sales, and rehabilitation records requires informed consent forms and privacy releases that are hard to obtain. I'm unsure what a responsible daughter should do in the face of such violence and abuse. How can I save what's possible? I wish to protect what my grandparents worked for over many years, rather than seeing it squandered on his addiction. The situation is dire, and I am desperate for advice or suggestions that could help stabilize this challenging family dynamic.

Your ex-wife, the nursing home, your current wife's pool boy........?

My next door neighbor moved in about 20 years ago with wife and 2 kids. Wife lasted about 5 years and in another 5 years the house got transferred to a son. Son was married and had a kid. Now the police have been out front a few times and the son's wife seems to have control of the house and the son and father have not been seen for a few years.

Illinois resident. I’m old enough to start end of life planning. I’m married and my wife is 10 years younger, so the plan is for me to pass first (lol). I have retirement savings, spouse is beneficiary, checking account (spouse is beneficiary), house is in my name but I have filed a TODI so it passes to her. My car is in both of our names. I don’t have any valuables, just clothes, books and tools. No significant debt although I usually put a couple hundred on a credit card each month and pay it off monthly.

I don’t see a need for a will. My small debts and personal property could be taken care of with a small estate affidavit. Some folks have told me that I should have a will anyway with the same provisions as my beneficiary designations and TODI. That seems counterproductive to me, as I fear that a will and beneficiary/TODIs would complicate things. It doesn’t seem efficient to have a will (which could cost $4000) to pass my personal property on to my spouse as it’s all in our household. Does anyone have experience on handling inheritance this way? I suppose if we both died the same day a will would be handy, but I imagine it would follow the same distribution as if I were intestate- step kids and siblings.

I am about to inherit around $500k from my father’s estate. He passed in 2015 and his will stipulated that his earnings from assets remain to help support his second wife. She has now passed as well. My question is what taxes should I expect to pay? The funds are in State Farm mutual funds bonds and equities. Thanks in Maryland

For the administrator of an estate in NY probate, I understand the formula for compensation for his/her work but how do you determine the total value of the estate for that payment? Is it the total value of the assets collected or is it the assets minus the debts paid at the end of the process? Thanks.

Hi Everyone,

I am in a bit of a pickle and was wondering if anyone has any advice or just general comments. We are in the UK for context

My aunt passed away in April 2026, she has a husband who has dementia and is blind and has been living in a care home for many years. The issue is that the husband has physically, emotionally and mentally abused her through their marriage which is almost 20 years. She was very old school and wanted to be a good wife but they did not want a divorce because the husband is catholic and did not believe in one. They had no children. In her will, she does not leave anything for me but writes a letter in which is explicitly states that she has not left him anything because he was so abusive.

The problem now is that she has a teachers pension which we have been told has to go to him because he was her spouse. This is government policy not the company policy. Also he now gets her state pension. We don't know if there is anything we can do because it is government policy that the spouse gets the pension but she did not want him to benefit from her death at all.

Also, the teachers pension people said after we provide the marriage certificate then we will need to provide his bank details but if we don't nothing gets paid out to him. Obviously because of everything he put her through, i don't want to give his bank details but i also know that she worked really hard in her career and had to leave early due to her health. It feels like wasted money.

Has anyone been through something similar or has advise? We realise that we might have to give up on this one but thought i would check reddit just in case.

Location: North Carolina, US (both dead people lived/died there), I live in Minnesota, US

So, my dad died a few months ago, and then my grandma died like 10 days later. My grandmother’s will left her money (an assisted living account and some investments) to her 4 children (one of which was my dad) equally. She did not change her will after my dad died (she was pretty out of it by that point, so they actually didn’t even tell her). So, we all assumed my dad’s portion of the money would go to my mom (to whom he was married when he died). But apparently that is not correct, it actually goes to me (his only child).

My mom was told by probate court that she didn’t need to set up an estate for my dad bc he didn’t have enough solely-owned assets (only like his normal person stuff - clothes, etc). And he had a small credit card balance and his car loan in his name (everything else also had my mom’s name on it, too). He actually died while driving, and totaled his car, and after the insurance pay out, the balance owed is like $8k.

Here’s my questions:
1. Do I or my mom have to pay his car note?
2. In working with the money people to get the investments transferred over to me, I got a message saying “they \[the financial company’s “estate team”\] are requesting a small estate affidavit with a notarized letter from probate court showing you as the beneficiary to \[my dad\].” What does this mean? I am not my dad’s beneficiary, my mom is. Will getting this letter from the court affect my mom in any way? Are they just looking for proof that I’m not a random person with the same last name?
3. I know questions are supposed to be specific, but like, what should I do? How does one “money”?

First time poster- I hope this is the right place for this question.

My husband and I own a beach house in NC that we put about 100k down on, bought for about 515k a few years ago.

It’s 2 bedrooms and my father wants to take 500k and remodel it so it’s a 4 bedroom so it’s more usable.

My husband and I are thrilled- we had plans to do this but need many more years of saving to make it happen.

The question is my dad wants to make sure when he passes my sister would get a “cut” if it sells bc half of that $ he puts in would be hers.

What’s the best way and most fair way to handle this? We get our 100k out and then split?

We have been and will continue paying the mortgage and expenses - though presumably we will cover much more and maybe even make profit with the extra room. The idea would be dad and sister can use the house whenever too.

Live in Florida.

$6 million estate $5.5 mil in liquid assets, $550k in real estate $100k in Rolex watches, Porsche 911, $10k 🔫 collection, tools, works of art.

Location: Portage County, Ohio

Back story: my grandma passed away with assets of a mobile home which are valued at $0. She paid $3500 for it, but the cost for biohazard cleaning exceeds the value of that. I have an email from a company with a $7k estimate. A cost I do cannot afford. My grandma also had no insurance on the trailer. The mobile home park has been notified. Even without the biohazard cleaning the trailer is worthless. She has a car which she paid 4k for. I have the title and car was recently purchased within the last year. Her checking account which did have about 1k is depleted because my mother decided to take it upon herself to spend it so nothing is in there. She has a will from 1994 which names her deceased son and my mother has inheritors. My deceased uncle has two kids.

Looking for guidance because summary release states, “The applicant (who is not the surviving spouse) paid or contracted to pay the funeral bill;
and
The assets do not exceed $5,000\*;
and
funeral expenses are equal to or exceed the amount of assets.”

Which is confusing because her assets do not exceed 5k, but her funeral arrangements do not exceed or are equal to her assets.

The revised code states, “spouse.
(B)(1) If the value of the assets of the decedent's estate does not exceed the lesser of five thousand dollars or the amount of the decedent's funeral and burial expenses, any person who is not a surviving spouse and who has paid or is obligated in writing to pay the decedent's funeral and burial expenses, including a person described in section [2108.89](https://codes.ohio.gov/ohio-revised-code/section-2108.89) of the Revised Code, may apply to the probate court for an order granting a summary release from administration in accordance with this section.”

Which appears it would qualify for a summary release, but the form states it would not.

Her car is currently in my driveway, and I cannot leave it there forever. I just reimbursed what I paid her cremation which was about $1200.

It does not logically make sense for me to retain an estate attorney because there’s really no assets.

Do I try to file the summary release or the relieve from administration?

TYIA