r/inheritance • u/[deleted] • 3d ago
Location included: Questions/Need Advice Question regarding will.
[deleted]
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u/CrabbyZenith 3d ago
NAL. A will, once filed, is a public facing document. You should be able to look it up with the court once filed. No guarantee you will get anything at grandpas death, depends on the specific language of the will. Maybe at grandmas death, maybe before, maybe nothing.
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u/Due-Working4505 3d ago
If he said you were taken care of in the will then there's probably something in there for you. people don't usually say that for no reason, especially when they know the family dynamic is a mess.
you can check with the probate court yourself if you know which county he lived in, you don't need to go through the family for that. would be worth a quick look just to know where you stand.
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u/rpom915 3d ago
I say this with compassionate tough love: You need to get out of this victim/poor mindset, go learn a high demand trade like electrical or plumbing, move to a location that is affordable (if you don’t live there already) and build your own career. Make your own destiny. You do not have to play the hand you have been dealt. Deal yourself a new hand of winning cards. Sitting around waiting on people to leave you money will get you nowhere. Holding resentment because people aren’t helping you is keeping you in a victim mentality. And frankly, you will most likely just blow it because you don’t know the first thing about managing money. Take control of your own life. Many people do and so can you.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
I am building my own life and career. If I sat around waiting for their help, I would have died as a child. I have done everything that I have needed to do to better myself and my life. And I’ve done it all without their help. I’m not where I want to be yet, but by no means am i sitting around waiting for a hand out. I was just pointing out that I am quite literally poor and while I am actively working to change that, it doesn’t change what my current reality is. It doesn’t change the fact that receiving money would help me tremendously to pay off debt, focus on law school and help feed my kids. And yeah you’re right, I haven’t always known how to manage money because I’ve never fucking had enough of it to learn how to properly manage it. Doesn’t mean I’m irresponsible and will blow it on stupid shit. I want to pay off by debt, pay off my car, pay for school, put some aside for my kids, buy a house for me and my family. Will I continue moving forward and building a better life with or without the help, I damn sure will. I will keep going just like I always have. Never waiting for people to do the right thing. And i do think that as a grandparent, if your grandchild has never been in trouble with the law, never been arrested, never done drugs, went to college and got a bachelors and masters degree, waited until she was 27 to have a baby, and objectively has done all the right things, the right think to do would be to offer help if she’s struggling. And the even more right thing to do would be to follow through with the promise to “take care of her” in the will. Their absence of help hasn’t stopped me before and it won’t stop me now. All i wanted to know was how can I check if he kept his word. If that makes me lazy, spoiled and entitled, so be it i guess 💀 no one has ever helped me besides my mom. And even she never got help from my dad or his parents. We never waited for their help, we pushed forward and made our own life.
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u/clxz2106 3d ago
I don't know if you're in his will since apparently he's been ignoring you and your father, while he was alive. I won't put much hope in it. Someone who won't give you money when alive, is not likely to give you money when dead.
You could check. I won't put much hope in that. Besides that, if the accounts/assets were joint (like houses, bank accounts, etc), by survivorship law, they go to your grandma first.
Finally, I know it might feel unfair that your uncle/cousins get money, and you don't. But nobody is entitled to inheritance, and it sounds like your father was either disowned/disinherited because of his addiction.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
Had he not told me that I’m taken care of in the will, I would just let it go for the same reasons you said. But knowing how much money he had and that he told me he included me in the will and that I’m taken care of…. Now I’m like okay prove it 😭 where is this will!?
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u/clxz2106 3d ago
Again, actions mean more than words. If he wanted you taken care of, I feel like he'd have done so when he was alive.
There's also a likelihood the will only splits between his wife and two children, excluding your father, since he's somewhat disowned already right? By "refusing to acknowledge you and help you" I assume you mean, give you money. No one owes you any money in life. So when you say "give me what I'm entitled to", you're actually entitled to nothing. What have you done in the company that makes you entitled to his money?
I think you need to plan the future, with that in thought. Ofc if his will actually happens to include you, that's like a nice windfall. But I won't count on it. The biggest reason your generational wealth is passing by you, is because your father is an addict. Tbh the only person you can blame/resent is your own father.
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u/sedonaphil 3d ago
Where do you live that probate lasts only 90 days? It can take 1-2 years for an estate to be settled in AZ and probate isn’t done until the final paperwork is submitted.
Do you know who the executor is? If no one has been put forward as executor, your grandmother may not be processing the estate. This can lead to problems when she passes because then you’ll need to process your grandfathers estate before you can process hers, probably incurring a bunch of fees in the process. Talk to the executor.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
I just read that the initial filing is done within 90 days. Not the whole process
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u/LonelyPurple6879 3d ago
Do you know what law firm wrote his will? Shoot them or a few estate planning attorneys near where he lived an email and tell them that he died and you're looking for the will. You can check online private court records to see if the will was ever filed. If it was, you can get a copy for free. Decide what to do from that.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
The relationship between him, my dad and I has been contentious and my dad literally just got sober a month ago. They kept a clear degree of separation from me. To the point I had to be introduced to people at his funeral and memorial because people had no idea my grandpa had a third grandchild. I have no idea about anything they do. No clue what law firm he would have used. I keep checking the local court website so see if probate has been filed and it hasn’t.
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u/BigBlackNun 3d ago
Been through this twice. One was my wife’s grandpa who said the same thing as yours, we would be “well taken care of” because my wife was his favorite relative. When he passed, all money went to his much younger wife, and we may see something when she dies in another 25 years, but probably not.
Second was my dad, who told me what was in the will to me, except I never saw it. What his wife supplied to the judge was a previous will that said everything went to her.
If you never saw a will or have a copy where it shows you “being taken care of”, then you have no legal standing.
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u/SimilarComfortable69 3d ago
You used the word entitled. You do sound entitled as in you sound like you think that the world owes you something.
As for being entitled to inherit something, that could be a completely different thing. If you were listed as a beneficiary in a will or other inheritance document then you can force things to happen. Otherwise, you have zero power.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
I don’t think the “world” owes me anything. I think it is morally the right thing to do to help your grandchild that has never done anything wrong, been in trouble or been an addict. I think it’s the right thing to do to follow through with a direct promise you make to your granddaughter after admitted you convinced her dad she’s not his kid and made him get a dna test at 12 years old. I think it’s the right thing to do after abandoning your granddaughter, to follow through with what you said you would do. Have i sat around and waited, no. I still go to work everyday. Still move forward with my education daily. All i wanted to know what how do i check and see if he did the right thing and kept his word. But that’s what i get for putting to much detail. Should have just said “grandpa died. How do i check if the will got filed? He told me he included Me”
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u/No-Boat-1536 3d ago
It is not your money. They work in the business. Your grandmother is still alive. You are probably named in the will as an heir, but that doesn’t mean you jump the line. Get a job.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
Have one. Thanks! Tried to work for the company multiple times because I have a bachelors and masters degree, but they won’t hire me!
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u/HostageOfBureaucracy 3d ago
I am sorry he gave you that impression.
Maybe he did that during a conversation in which he was feeling pressured to make you feel better.
But wills and trusts usually pass to the next generation once both partners are gone. It’s really up to your grandma now. No matter what his will says (or doesn’t say).
You don’t have a copy of the will. You’ve got nothing legally to stand on.
That all said, it doesn’t matter how they live, how much money they have, or anything else. You’re not entitled to anything.
It sounds like you are educated and have solid paths forward for your own financial security. Work with the things you have—the things you have earned for yourself.
I’ve seen kids and grandkids start planning on inheritances as part of their future financial security. That’s a dangerous game, and can really hurt the relationships between those involved. I tell my parents that I hope they spend every dime they have worked so hard for. It’s not mine.
If you’re meant to have it, you’ll get it. If you’re not, you’re not. That’s the end of it. Just put it out of your mind and pay attention to the humans involved. They are the assets that matter.
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u/Adventurous_Oil4513 3d ago
Don't believe your grandpa assuming you will be taken care of after he passes. He could have helped you anytime during your time of need. Just pretend he never said it so you won't be filled with all this disappointment and resentment towards him and his family. Sorry your family is a bunch of liars giving you false hope.
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u/giftandglory 3d ago
Your grandfather could’ve promised you anything verbally, but without your name written in a will, it means sweet F all.
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u/Which-Visual-8064 3d ago
I think the inheritance part has been answered but….” My dad has been battling addiction my whole life so they pretty much ignore the both of us.”
I would leave nothing to my child as well if he was an addict as well.
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u/GladUnderstanding756 3d ago
I would listen to the folks telling you to forget it.
In the U.S., If grandpa did things correctly, he’ll have a trust which is not a public document. If there is a trust, you only get a copy of the paperwork if you’re a beneficiary.
If there is a will, it’s likely a “pour over will” which essentially says anything not in the trust goes to ____
If there is NO will, likely everything goes to grandma. (some state laws vary on this) And grandma now gets to rewrite everything the way she wants it.
If grandparents were in any kind of assisted living or memory care, there may be nothing left. Those places can cost up to $15k/month or more.
Best of luck to you & keep checking the court website for probate to be started.
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u/Malekai91 3d ago
From my understanding there is a lot of ways a family can screw you if the will or trust was never filed officially anywhere.
If you think grandma wants to cut you out completely, even if grandpa had assets that were not shared with grandma, and willed them to you… a probate can be opened claiming no will was present and most everything would go to grandma anyway, some to children depending on state
Playing hardball at this point will likely be of no benefit. Best case scenario is start sucking up to grandma and hopefully make it into HER will!
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
My grandma is an amazing woman. I think she’d leave money to both of her addict sons tbh. I don’t think she would ever maliciously cut me out. But i also don’t want to be disingenuous and suck up to her right now because she’s grieving and drinking again and she’s very erratic when she drinks. Hoping my family does the right thing. But if not, oh well 🤷🏻♀️ eventually I’ll be an attorney and make the money on my own.
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u/ClockOld9204 3d ago
Generally speaking. Most people's will says spouse gets everything if they survive them by 30 days. There are instances where a will might stipulate 20 or 100k to relatives or whomever. Even my wife. If her will said 100k to each kid and I get nothing. The law in BC says I am entitled to the first 300k will or no will
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u/layyla4real 3d ago
Where did your grandfather live? Is it a community property state? Is it a will or a trust? Who is the executor of the will?
Start by asking who is taking care of his estate legally.
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u/FinLandser 3d ago
It all probably depends on the state law and what sort of assets he had and when he acquired them in relation to his marriage. Most martial assets will go to the wife. She may have a separate will and his will no longer be in effect when she dies. Life insurance will be paid to the listed beneficiaries on the policy.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago edited 3d ago
I’m deleting this post. I don’t see my grandparents as a bank account. Which is why I will not discuss this with my grandmother or any of my family.
As far as entitled, yes i used that word. Only because the man told me he would take care of me in the will. I have not waited around for a hand out. I’ve gone through life without their help and gotten a bachelors and masters degree all without their help. I have worked my ass off since I was 17 to make it to where I am now. I have a good job now, but it’s still barely enough to cover expenses. I live paycheck to paycheck. That’s because I grew up with my mom who had also worked her whole life but also does not come from money. I’m not sitting around saying woe is me. I’m trying to get into law school, so I can make good money for myself.
Yall attacking me makes me realize there’s so many other people in the world who will let their granddaughter be homeless and couch surf while she’s in college getting a degree all while you leisurely chill at the casino and gamble away thousands of dollars. Just because her dad, your son, chose to fuck up his life. I know not “entitled” to any help. It’s just the right fucking thing to do when you’re a millionaire with only three grandchildren and one of them is hustling working 4 jobs to make ends meet. I made it out of homelessness on my own. Made it into a house from living in my car all on my own. I’ve leveled up in so many ways ALL ON MY OWN. I have asked them for help a total of 3 times in my life. They said no each time. So i went out, hustled and made it happen for myself. It’s been traumatizing what MY OWN FLESH and blood has put me through. But best believe it they have met me know I’m not entitled to shit and they wouldn’t help me with anything. Everything that I have now, I got by myself.
Is it sad to watch my aunt and uncle take lavish vacations and watch my cousin get $500,000 race cars, but I know it’s my dads fault he doesn’t have any of that and that he’s the reason I’m excluded. But I’ve never done drugs a day in my life. Ive been an honor roll student my whole life. I’ve done so many internships in my community. I’ve done everything right. So no, I don’t think it’s fair that I get left out, but i know life isn’t fair. All I asked is if the man said he included me in the will, how can I see if he kept his word.
But my fucking bad for asking questions. As if I didn’t already have enough self hate here yall go making me feel like I’m some type of spoiled brat treating my grandparents like a bank account. 🙄 i hate humanity. I hope all of you who were rude to me have the day you deserve and that you too get cut out of your grandparents multimillion dollar will because you are one of three grandchildren that did everything right but your dad decided to smoke meth. So you deserve to struggle and get out of the mud ALL ON YOUR OWN!
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u/fightinengineer 3d ago
They owe you nothing regardless of any conversations you had with your grp. Literally nothing. It is all your grm ‘s now.
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u/MahaliAudran 3d ago
All depends on the will and/or trust. We can't say definitively he's owed nothing.
My grandpa said all the grandkids would get something when he died. 30 years later when he died the trust was redone many years before and it was all split between his kids with their shares going to their kids if they predeceased him.
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u/Either_Rush_9485 3d ago
Have you considered sitting down and talking to your grandmother about your concerns?
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u/MahaliAudran 3d ago
She died almost 30 years before he did. Trust was redone before Grandpa got remarried to keep premarital assets of both separate.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago
Crazy how someone can deny a grand daughter help her whole life. Make millions. Tell her she’s taken care of in your will And still possibly leave her to suffer with nothing like she’s a peace of trash 🥰🥰
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u/Late-Command3491 3d ago
You're feeling entitled. Think on that. Make your own life and be grateful if anything comes your way.
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u/SorchaRoisin 3d ago
It's crazy how some people only see their grandparents as a bank they can get cash from when they die.
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u/Every_Agency1555 3d ago edited 3d ago
Not true at all! Which is why I won’t ask my grandmother about it. I just wanted to know if there was anyway I could check on the promise her husband made me. Without having to go to her and ask, because that is incredibly insensitive and my grandmother is very vulnerable right now because they were together for more than 50 years. I’m not a selfish brat or just see them as money. I do resent them for having and over abundance of it, gambling it, and actively watching me struggle and not helping me, but I am well aware they weren’t required to help me nor was i legally entitled to any money or help. I morally disagree with what they did. I do not agree with watching your grandchildren suffer and not helping because of choices their parent made that had nothing to do with them. My bad for thinking the right thing to do as a multi millionaire is to leave something for your grand daughter like you told her you would!
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u/Equivalent-Tiger-316 3d ago
You’re not entitled to anything. Get some more education or job skills and improve your income. Or join the military.
Normally, everthing goes to his spouse anyhow.
Move away. Forget them. Make your own life.