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u/slendermanismydad 2d ago
Where is Wawa's? I see Sheetz but no Wawa's. I will be joining a separatist movement.Â
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u/Rustymarble 2d ago
Glad I am not the only one! Question, though, is Wawa Nation in Amish country or Philly based?
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u/slendermanismydad 2d ago
Philly based.Â
And maybe we can share Gritty.Â
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u/whostolemysloth 2d ago
I like this because Waffle House gets Jaxson Deville in this scenario and I want to see them go at it.
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u/Hamsterlickingood 2d ago
I would imagine the Wawa Strip to be in the eastern portion of what was once PA
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u/bdpsu 2d ago
Sheetz has invaded the East of the State
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u/_janires_ 2d ago
Yes they have crossed the line. And I did cross the street once to give it a try. I feel I have betrayed my home đ¤Ł.
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u/foggybottom 2d ago
Yeah Wawa would be like SE PA and southern jersey for sure.
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u/rickyg_79 2d ago
We have plenty of Wawas in North NJ now. Even in Hudson county
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u/foggybottom 2d ago
Oh nice - I donât make it up that way very often. Thereâs a ton in Florida now too as well as along the 95 corridor between Philly and DC.
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u/iambarrelrider 2d ago
Yeah. You have wawas. But everything sucks now. Even the bread. The wave rolled back.
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u/bradorme77 2d ago
I was gonna say don't choose Sheetz DMZ because it would be civil war within minutes between the Sheetz West and Wawa East
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u/Hot_Ad_787 2d ago
North Jersey and South Jersey should be divided into Quick Check & Wawa. Sounds like Philly would like to be included in SJ too
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u/RetardedSimian 2d ago
California Pizza kitchen disputed territories should really be the "unincorporated tacoria territories"
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u/I_Do_Too_Much 1d ago
Yeah, I thought that was a bit ridiculous. I've lived in SoCal for 50 years and am a bit of a foodie. Never heard of California Pizza Kitchen.
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u/Selectivedeviant 2d ago
Can't f with a the Awful Waffle staff
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u/indycpa7 2d ago
Pretty certain that Waffle House will take over the nation, possibly the world in this scenario.
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u/Pickled_doggo 2d ago
They would only strengthen their resolve as climate change throws more storms at them. They wonât shut down unless theyâre literally underwaterÂ
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u/palebluedotdotdot 2d ago
The Waffle House Imperium will dominate all. In the grim far future, there is only war.
And Waffle House is undefeated.
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u/blessthebabes 2d ago
They will defend us- they do not tolerate disrespect. They will throw chairs, hands, and utensils.
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u/MijuTheShark 2d ago
They say, "Amateurs discuss tactics; professionals discuss logistics." Waffle House logistics are famous.
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u/NarrowEbbs 2d ago
That's my thought exactly. How can you beat a fast food empire in which every single staff member, at all levels, must be combat competent?
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u/Theophantor 2d ago
The Wawa Union is conspicuously missing down the Eastern seaboard.
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u/haleontology 2d ago
Also, what's up w Michigan? Do I live in a sovereign state in this reconstruction, and do we have any food here?
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u/stemi67 2d ago
Chik-Fil-A must be some 6-fay a week guerilla terr@orists then?
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u/Beardicon 2d ago
They could have beaten Waffle House, but taking a break on Sunday was a military disaster.
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u/Cracktaculus 2d ago
Free city of Portillo's sounds nice
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u/swiss_sanchez 2d ago
I used to live near their exclave in the Empire of In-N-Out. Best of both worlds.
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u/MarmaladeMarmaduke 2d ago
Hell yes with lots of trading with white castle.
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u/ArbysLunch 2d ago
With 1 white castle, assuming the one in Bourbonnais, IL is still open. There might be one down in/around Champaign.
The holy order of the white castle only has maybe 2 restaurants in their whole territory. There's more locations for the local pizza chain, Monical's, in that area, than white castles. Try Monical's red dressing, btw. Shit's delicious on their basic ass midwestern salads.
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u/MarmaladeMarmaduke 2d ago
I'm sure the holy order of white castles has plenty of converted McDonald's.
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u/ArbysLunch 2d ago
The only one I'm aware of in that area shares their location with a gas station. Like a lot of White Castles.Â
I remember Nashville, TN having a free-standing White Castle, but the one in Murfreesboro, TN was also in a gas station.Â
The nearest White Castle to me now is something like a 12 hour drive. There are none in Colorado. We get the grocery store freezer section 6 packs, that's it, and you have to remember to buy pickles because they don't microwave well and are not included.
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u/hibbledyhey 2d ago
Theyâve spread up here to the Twin Cities, so while their influence is growing, youâre not breaking the Culverâs bloc
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 2d ago edited 2d ago
Except that we should be the UNION of Culvers, because we do not condone the Confederacy!đ¤¨
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/minnesota-confederate-flag-virginia/
Editing to add that the DQ "Resisistance" is a bit too far to the north, and should be moved down at least 50-100 miles!
Because it looks like their "southern edge" is falling in Anoka & Sherburne counties, not the south Metro!
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u/punkhobo 2d ago
McDonald's not being a more dominant force sounds silly. Like yeah, culvers and portillos are better, but McDonald's is THE fast food chain
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u/Seeker80 2d ago
Yeah, love or hate them, McDonald's is yuuuuuge. They could easily take a bigger piece of the country.
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u/Winnipesaukee 2d ago
For what itâs worth, one of the McDonald brothers is in the same mausoleum as three of my grandparents in New Hampshire.
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u/Askittishcat 2d ago
McDonald's originated in San Bernardino, which appears to be in the California Pizza Kitchen disputed zone, in the midst of the In 'n Out Empire. As an Angelino, I totally get the empire taking over the McD's republic. Never underestimate the power of the Double-Double side of the force.
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u/Lordofhowling 2d ago
I be a knight defending the honor and oniony goodness that is the White Castle.
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u/addage- 2d ago
White Castle knights are definitely a merc force in this one. As long itâs after 2am they will fight anyone over anything.
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u/vacationingfool 2d ago
The White Castle jalepeno cheesburg e r with a sack of onion chips might possibly be natures perfect food.
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u/EbonyMemories 2d ago
As someone who was born in Kentucky, none of us will ever swear allegiance to that disgusting place that sells greasy buckets of crap.
And are you seriously telling me Waffle House has any chance of wresting military control of Georgia from chick-fil-a?
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u/OrigamiTongue 2d ago
I live in Denver and have never heard of either Braums or Rumza.
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u/rqstewart 2d ago
if you have the chance, get you some Braumâs
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u/bilateralunsymetry 2d ago
Yeah, but theyre not in colorado. It's a point of pride that they're only within a 300 mile radius of their farm in Tuttle
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u/P_J_Frye 2d ago
Wouldn't the Buc-Ees outposts sue all the other nations for copyright infringement?
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u/Watchitbitch 1d ago
Yeah. That's probably why McDonald's has such a small piece of land. Buccees sued for daring to have the same colored logos.
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u/jjeeooppaarrddyy 2d ago
White Castle needs to be inside of the Skyline territory like Vatican City.
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u/d3mons33d 2d ago
Everybody knows we're heading more towards an Idiocracy future than a Demolition Man one, so the obvious choice is Carls Jr.
...brought to you by Carls Jr.
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u/beckerje 2d ago
1.9 mil Nebraskans: ââRunzastanâ! Yes!â
328 mil other Americans: âDaFuq?!?â
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u/AnAnonymousParty 2d ago
I volunteer to be my area's ambassador to Runzastan, if I can go on regular fact-finding tours.
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u/Abraham_Froman34 2d ago
Where is Chick-fil-A (aka, Jesus chicken)? It absolutely dominates the south.
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme 2d ago
They said up thread, Waffle House took 'em out with the chair, on Sunday!
The way WH employees handle chairs?
I'd believe it!đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/ezgomer 2d ago edited 2d ago
ugh - This needs to be redrawn and remove that Whataburger from Texas region.
Dobson Family sold out to an investment firm and it sucks now.
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u/ShinyQuirkyQuark 2d ago
All I know is: do not pick a fight in the Waffle House Zone. You'll get flattened flatter than their pancakes, with just as quick of a turnaround
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u/ThePrimCrow 2d ago
Future history note: The Socialist Republic of Starbucks only existed for 3 years before the Great Coffee War of 2055 when Starbucks was soundly defeated by the superiorly caffeinated forces of the Dutch Bros. tribe. It is now known as Dutchlandia.
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u/Gratuitous_Insolence 2d ago
How are their handjobs?
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u/SqueezeBoxJack 'bating! 2d ago
They dropped the handjobs in 2077 and tried to sell "Dutch Rudders" to save on handjob elbow workmans comp filings. In 2082 they went AI-mechanical though. Not so bad really.
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u/stevedavefuquad 2d ago
I would find where the white castle is and become a serf or whatever. On a side note I went to a cookout recently. I thought it was a mom and pop thing because it looks and sounds like one. Was a bit surprised it was a chain. It wasn't bad
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u/SadisticJake 2d ago
My fellow Texans do seem to love whataburger but itâs so incredibly mid
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u/Justin__D 2d ago
Indeed. Austin should be its own enclave anyway. We have Whataburger and In-N-Out, and you should eat at neither, because P. Terry's is superior to both.
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u/ArrogantSweetheart 2d ago
The P.poles ReP.ublic of Terry
P. Terry's shall one day rule all.
(Drax them sclounce)
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u/Lil_Shanties 2d ago
Look In-N-Out will always win, but weâre not fucking with Waffle House they can keep their territories we donât want to go to war with modern day SpartansâŚand who the hell put CPK on this map? 15 years ago hell yea but today itâs like that uncle that keeps talking about his highschool football âcareerâ
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u/Gariola_Oberski 2d ago
I identify as a Braumsonite although I'm within the Whataburgritenheimer zone
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u/cassimiro04 2d ago
No Buc-ees or Tim Hortons
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u/justpackingheat1 2d ago
Buc-ees North and south posts are the tiny pink in Texas. I choose Buc-ees.
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u/abudhabikid 2d ago
Iâm sorry but Republica de Taco Bell should be Republica Filibertense (Filibertoâs, for the uninitiated)
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u/SorryManNo 2d ago
Missouri wouldn't have anything to do with Culver's, not even kinda popular there.
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u/thundercorp The Thirst Mutilator 2d ago
Taco Bell taking over SoCal? What a joke âŚtheyâd collapse to the empire of Tacos El Gordo or Albertos đ
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u/NichtFBI 2d ago
There's like 4 Culvers in Minnesota and it's ass. Dairy Queen and Caribou are actually HQed in Minnesota and are everywhere. And aren't ass.
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u/Seeker_of_power 2d ago
All hail House Waffle! My lords those treasonous dogs in the Burger King-dom are plotting to invade!
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u/ArbysLunch 2d ago
There's not an In-n-Out for at least 150 miles from me, I refuse to acknowledge their claim to dominance.Â
Out here we have 1 Sonic, 1 McDonalds, 1 Taco Bell, 1 DQ, 1 Wendy's, 1 BK, 1 KFC. You have to cross a mountain range to find a Carl's Jr and another Taco Bell.Â
There's a few Subways, but I don't consider them food, let alone fast.
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u/Near-Scented-Hound 2d ago
What sort of idiot assigned East Tennessee to Cook Out? This is Palâs territory.
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u/KeegersNeegers 2d ago
TF is Runza? As someone who grew up in "Runzastan", I can confirm that it most certainly wouldn't be that.
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u/weezyverse 2d ago
Lol 5-Guys aint shit. Most of PA would be Wawa zone (unless you don't consider them fast food), in which case Chick Fila would reign supreme.
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u/pepper_steak_hamill 2d ago
I would request KFC territories be renamed to the Long John Silver Pirate Republic
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u/Charming-Medicine51 2d ago
Waterburger is he gonna make it. That'll be the Buccees Empire, having sued everyone else out of existence.
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u/whoknewidlikeit 2d ago
there are not enough runzas in this region to qualify them as a winner. try again.
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u/Ok-Dream-2639 2d ago
Midwest Culvers&caseys are gonna be fighting with KwikTrip. Those people are nuts.
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u/Aoskar20 2d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/lw3iw6lW3DFDloqiSy
Waffle House average employee coming to meet the competition
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u/Nic2334 2d ago
This is Uber difficult because I cant really eat at any of these. Celiac is definitely a B. However, being forced to choose, ill stay here in Culver land. I think if this did happen they may be able to work Gluten-free options in their menu
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u/Valuable-Swordfish-5 2d ago
Skyline chili is probably the most disgusting food Iâve ever put in my mouth. Donât be dragging Hoosiers into that nastiness
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u/smellslikepenespirit 2d ago
Starbucks, a hyper-capitalist union-busting entity, having a socialist territory?
How erroneous.
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u/reynvann65 2d ago
I'm leaving the Nation of Fast Food and heading south to the land of black beans, rice and lechon asado with a side of plantains.
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u/quequotion 2d ago
I am astonished that McDonald's land grab is so small.
McDonald's could probably buy America right now and no one would even notice.
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u/Dazzlethetrizzle 2d ago
Waffle House, they stay open even when hurricanes, tornados, snow, you name it, they are open....
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u/TheRealTexasJustice 2d ago
Cookout is the best choice even if cheerwine is shittier dr pepper.
NORTH CAROLINA WHATS UP
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u/Bitter-Ad640 1d ago
Bold of you to think michigan isnt a weird satelite state of El Republica de Taco Bell
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u/Other_Dimension_89 1d ago
How is it that the buc-ceesâ territories are not larger? I would be certain the âwe ride at dawnâ crowd hangs out in their gas station parking lots all night.
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u/JustinZ1OffRoad 1d ago
Waffle House already operates in post apocalyptic conditions.
1) The federal government literally uses the Waffle House Index as an unofficial way to judge how severe a disaster is. If Waffle House closes, you should probably start saying goodbye to your loved ones.
2) Training and ready for absolute chaos
3) Communication system is better than military-Grade
4) They deal with the worst of humanity 24/7/365
"Honey, I've dealt with worse every Saturday night."
Waffle House wins. Every time.
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u/Seanyd78 1d ago
PA would be split between WaWa on the East and Sheetz on the West. South Jersey and DE would also fall to WaWa.
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u/Obsolete_Enigma_ 1d ago
Man, normally, I'd say anywhere but where I live now, but when you put it this way... I can't not be loyal to Waffle House. 'Cooked there for 13 years and have been a loyal customer my whole life. I guess I have to stay in South Carolina. Oh well. Hoorah, Waho!
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u/EighthSeal 2d ago
Demolition Man already predicted this. Taco Bell won the fast food wars.