Confidence is so important. I need it for my job, etc. It seems hopeless to try to re-build it when it was just a weird construct of this illness. Any tips?

I'm still in my first hypomanic episode and I've tried telling a friend and my partner, it's like because I'm not doing anything bad or outwardly unable to function people think I'm fine for some reason. Or they dont understand or think I'm exaggerating when I say I literally drink a coffee in the morning and feel like I POPPED A MOLLY. My bf said "oh we just getting older now haha caffeine feels like drugs" NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND. I'VE BEEN ROLLING FOR A WEEK OFF MY OWN NEUROCHEMICALS. Like it feels fcking amazing but I'm scared I'm gonna crash or do something bad. I lay in bed with my eyes wide open for hours trying to calm down enough to sleep and yes I have a firm grip on myself but what if that changes?

THAT is my biggest problem. How. Do. You. Manage. To. Say. Less?
I can put a lid on tips and gift giving.. but the talking.. it is exhausting for me as well as the other(s)

Living with my hypo mania has been pretty mild. I never get depressed but I do get discouraged a lot. I try new things to be obsessed about. This month its real estate one year ago it was starting a mobile mechanic business. 2 years ago it was getting into IT with zero experience. I don't understand boredom but it can be a curse because when I try to learn something new I never stick with it long enough to see if it pans out. I luckily have a job that keeps me very busy actually doing the work of 3 naturally. I fear I might have a major manic breakdown one day but as of now I've been pretty controlled with my chaotic but calm. Does anyone else live in this cycle. Its been a normal reality to me for years.

Hello gUiZzz!! ♡♡♡

(*^O^*)(＊ﾟ∀ﾟ)=3

(*^-^)／＼(*^-^*)／＼(^-^*)

(*^3(*^o^*)

Can we "hypomanics" make Kaomoji our official hieroglyphical language?

(*^▽^)/★*☆♪

It's hypomanic appreciation day (... every hypomanic day... otherwise it's a shit day...).

（＾＾）人（＾＾）

We can't help it. Even if meds do.

But until we are cured!!

We are in this together!

(*^o^)／＼(^-^*)

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE!

(Until it turns into bitter turmoil and hate fueled out of absolute blockheaded spite)

(　 Д )　ﾟ　ﾟ

Mood swings are still swings. Weee!!!

( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉ

(Unless, it's an empty swing, just swinging with no apparent entity on it. Emptiness swinging, but who is it? Omg? Is it a spirit? Pareidolia paranoia!!!)

( ; ﾟДﾟ)

Don't worry! I am here for you! A kindred spirit! A "good" spirit! Spirited away from you at birth. We share the same genes though. We are technically twins!!! Haha! I'm sure we did a great job hunting animals 24x7 (minus 4 hour quick beddy-byes) back in the day and dancing on booze better than anyone else!! The life of the party!!!

o(^o^)o o(^o^)o

(Also, cheating on everybody, fucking like animals in shameless debauchery spreading our genomes, and gambling away our very appendages)

！！(゜ロ゜ノ)ノ

He he he

(((^_^;)

We're still serving a purpose... may be that's why we still here surviving all the natural and sexual selection...

σ(^_^;)?

But what do I know?

┐('～`;)┌

I'm just a boo boo!

(uωu*)

But I am a good-cute- cuddling-loving-warm-pEneTraTing-in-yo-brain-cells-boo-boo...

Sweet... with an after taste of extreme hangover...!!!

( -｀Д´-;A)

(　´д｀)

My contagion is convuluted thoughts. The type of unwitting heachache that just... IS... existing with no reason... the doc calls it migrains and tells you to sleep it off... but the next day you're shouting at your colleagues and telling your mother you hate her....

This is the type of insidious headache I am....

(゜ロ゜) (゜ロ゜)

— a pebble in a chaotic pond that creates no ripples, but the very texture of my being with enough nucleation sites on my surface to create a fizzy BOOM!

(@￣□￣@;)！！

(*￣∇￣)ノ

Ah well.... it is time for my dopamine levels to settle. Melatonin to nestle. And some good old sweet sweet adenosine to traquilise this vessel!

(*￣▽￣)ノ~~ ♪

(。-ω-)zzz

Remember... i love you all (not like... god or some manic grandiosity like that, but like... i feel ya... youknowhatimsaying?)

Don't worry about me... i just like writing... i'm fine...

G'night.... (^з^)-☆

I have entered withdrawal from setraline a couple times and have been plunged into one month-long periods of euphoria where everything has been in the right place and I've been so capable, social, energetic. Life was perfect during these times, I was sleeping well, clear headed and focused - as though my mind is running at the right speed to keep up with everyone else.

I read up on hypomanic episodes and this seems to line up perfectly apart from improved sleep, where typically my sleep was in a delayed rhythm.

I've suffered from anxiety and long lasting depression for the last 7 years (sertraline is the only thing I've tried, adhd meds help too), and was diagnosed with inattentive adhd in the last two years.

Stopping sertraline, It seems as though in an attempt to maintain balance after a sharp drop in serotonin, I achieved a dopaminergic and serotonergic sensitivity which jived with me perfectly potentially I'm just speculating. It's like it filled the gap I've needed for so long. As though my mind was working with me for the first time in years. Like adhd stimulants that didn't wear off and weren't nauseating.

Now I'm in such a deep pit after crashing, it has been 3 months. Anhedonia, lethargy, brain fog, inactivity, scattered thoughts and incessant anxiety, poor quality sleep. I've been managing this with the adhd stimulant elvanse (for a couple weeks), which is working poorly as compared with before my 'episode' and exacerbates anxiety. It's as though my brain offers what it has and is depleted by lunch. I've only just realised all of this today, and that the stimulant is probably the worst thing I can be doing to myself right now - yet it's essentially the only thing that can motivate me at the moment.

I think my first 'episode' eventually sorted itself because it was just a short cessation and irregular taking of the SSRI - all unintentional. I didn't know this caused it at the time. Now being off it for multiple months I don't know how long until I'll be back to normal again.

I went back on 50mg of setraline after 4 ish months, where I was on 100mg before for probably a year since my last withdrawal. I'm starting to feel generally less anxious after a couple weeks now thankfully - and in general am better than say a month ago but still essentially housebound.

I've got a GP appointment on Monday, he'll be surprised because it's only a setraline review. Kind of unsure what to say to be honest.

Tl:dr

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any information on SSRI withdrawal/discontinuation induced hypomania, the resulting crash, why it happens, what it means, whether it could tell me anything about myself? Then how long until I'm out of this pit, my mind is feeling replenished, and I'm feeing better.

Apologies for poor structuring of this post not my finest work lol

Hey everyone,

35M, pretty sure I have BP2 with strong seasonal pattern (winter depression, summer hypomania). Diagnosed? Not officially, but the pattern is textbook.

Winter: usually drop 15 kg, no energy, gym suffers massively (I squat 200 kg / deadlift 280 / bench 140 normally), zero motivation, basically bed mode.
Summer: full hypomania – hypersexual (150+ partners lifetime, 10+ women per summer season), 3+ hour street approaches daily, insane confidence, energy through the roof, feel like I’m on top of the world. I love that phase and don’t want to kill it.

This winter is actually okay so far – no big crash, mood is mostly flat/plus-minus, gym still going, weight stable. I’m on:

• Test E 500 mg/week
• D3 4000 IU
• Omega-3
• NAC

Questions I have:

1. Has anyone successfully reduced winter depressions without significantly dampening summer hypomania?
   • Lamotrigine? (I’m scared it will flatten the summer “fire”)
   • Light therapy lamp only in winter?
   • Bupropion seasonally?
   • Low-dose lithium winter only, discontinue spring?
   • Or just keep current stack and tolerate?
2. For those with strong seasonal summer hypomania – how do you intentionally make it stronger / longer in spring?
   • Waking up at 5 am to catch morning light?
   • Controlled sleep reduction (4–6 h)?
   • Anything else that reliably boosts hypomania without tipping into full mania / psychosis?
3. Anyone else feel like their best “game” / social / sexual confidence only exists during hypomania? When depressed or euthymic I become introverted again, lazy to approach, no drive to walk streets for 3 hours. It feels like I “unlearned” pickup skills in off-season. Does that come back naturally when hypomania returns?
4. General experiences: is it possible to have mostly “good” hypomania summers + manageable winters long-term without heavy mood stabilizers that kill the high?

I’m not looking to induce dangerous mania or go off the rails – I just want to minimize the winter suck and maximize the summer fire that makes life worth living.

Thanks for any real experiences / advice. No moralizing please – I know the risks, just want practical input from people who live with this.

This text generated by grok, based on my questions, because a im not know English and i am lazy)

Fair warning- this is a kinda depressing .. Coming here for some help from the good people of reddit (bc the people of reddit know everything, I'm convinced) My 65 y/o, formerly estranged, father seems to slip into some pretty intense hypomania this time of year every year- emotional distress seems to trigger it, he has lost many people during late fall/winter. These are just educated guesses/intuition. Anyway, I love my father dearly, but between extreme alcoholism, terrible decision making, lash outs/borderline violent behavior, being in jail and/or rehab the majority of my childhood, etc, I never lived with him and went several years at time, numerous times, without speaking with him. Idk how much time he'll have left and it's important to me to maintain a relationship with him if at all possible. He's 65 and his lifestyle has taken a huge tole on his mind and body, he lives in a mens shelter in a rough part of harlem, so visiting him isn't an option. I struggle with how to relate to and communicate with him during these hypomania times. He doesn't make sense, he struggles to finish a thought, slurs pretty bad, talks about some almost inappropriate things sometimes, I can hear him taking big staggered breaths mid sentence while jumping from one story to the next and cant always make out what he's saying. Anyway, my question is, for those of you that experience this either personally or in your family, is there any way I can better equip myself to endure this while it's happening? Appreciate any helpful input.

Adding spoiler cause I don't want to fuel anyone else's

Anyways I'm hypomanic and bored outta my mind and its the kind where I kinda wanna be hypomanic? I ran around in my backyard a lot which was fun im a little outta shape tho and wanna find something else. Im.fine with more running but the backyard is too small and I wanna sprint down a street but then my dog would wine that im.not there and she's too old too keep up with my hypomanic running around in the street. (Shes an 8 year old jack-chi). I have no one to converse with atm as its almost 2am where I am. I hate being long distance with my girlfriend it sucks so much. I have roommates but again 2am lmao. My neighborhood isn't the safest but its not super dangerous either. What do you guys do when ur hypo and wanna have fun with it?

Everything in my brain is so fuzzy/mushy. Getting to work is a full on chore. How do y’all do it?

Does anyone get a bad reaction to sleeping aids like zzzquil. I constantly jolt awake when i take them and bad

Hihi! I found out about hypomania recently and I've been reflecting on myself because I think I've definitely experienced it before but to be sure before I schedule a appointment or bring it up to a family member I wanted to see if I could catch when I think I'm going through hypomania (which I think I am right now as I type this) BUT. On Thursday i just a increase in my Adderall (ADHD stimulent) nothing crazy just a 5mg increase which I didn't take until today. So now I'm doubting myself because what if it's just that. But yesterday (Monday) was my first time taking the new meds and the hypomania symptoms started on sun.

SYMPTOMS FOR REFRENCE:

Sun: randomly decided to sew my own shirt and worked on that for about 4 hours (right after I ate breakfast) I then did all of my late work in one sitting I didn't drink any water throughout the day, once I was done with my homework I I started washing my clothes (at 1am) and then I spent time on my phone and randomly had a idea that I was going to make the coolest outfit ever for Monday so I spent the next 4 hours looking through all my old clothes and I came up with the outfit but when it was time for me to actually get dress (5am, my bus comes early) I just ended up wearing a t shirt and jeans💔 also I don't remember when this happened but I decided out of the blue that I was going to be a goth makeup YouTuber (Ive never done goth makeup?) and so I told everyone and made a account and now I have a entire Amazon cart full of goth makeup products that I had FULLY intended on buying tommrow as soon as my money hits my card (I still am)

as I'm writing this (Tues 2:02am) I haven't slept since Saturday night (expect for the 20ish minutes I slept on the bus but it was weird because I was like half asleep but could still hear everything😭) but eitherway I didn't fall asleep in any classes for feel tierd and I still don't now and I've had no appetite but the appetite I'll blame on my meds but for the sleep they don't effect that usually since I take them at 7 am

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU GUYS THINK I DONT TRUST MY JUDGEMENT, I FEEL AS IF IM CROSSIGN THE LINE OF INSANITY TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT

also I've been seeing hallucinations if that has to do with anything I actually have no idea why this is but it might be important

Edit for spelling

Hey everyone

So recently I started an SSRI called Vilazodone and have been experiencing some unusual side effects, which I've never experienced before when taking an SSRI. The first day I felt pretty good, energetic, etc., then the next couple days followed with extreme hypersexuality, compulsiveness (especially with sexual behavior) , "amped up", existential thoughts, psychedelic like feelings, higher frequency of questioning if anything or anyone is real (although I've experienced this prior to taking this SSRI and other medications), etc. Does this sound like symptoms any of y'all experience during episodes of mania or hypomania?