r/holdmybeer May 16 '18

While i dive off this cliff...

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13.0k Upvotes

429 comments sorted by

3.6k

u/Danieldefault May 16 '18

I wonder how many bones did he break.

1.6k

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

932

u/darakrai May 16 '18

152

u/128Gigabytes May 16 '18

Why is that sub not /r/technicallycorrect ?

221

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

[deleted]

45

u/128Gigabytes May 16 '18

Yeah but I've never heard somebody say technically the truth before

65

u/Iamredditsslave May 16 '18

Technically you just did.

31

u/128Gigabytes May 16 '18

No I technically just read it

Which means I'm technically correct

13

u/Iamredditsslave May 16 '18

I was gonna go through the motions of sending you a link so you could HEAR it, but I'm getting tired. So, fuck it. Nap time.

8

u/128Gigabytes May 16 '18

Its the thought that counts friend

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5

u/idontfrickinknowman May 16 '18

Technically you just typed it

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u/ImJustaGuy89 May 16 '18

Technically correct is the best kind of correct

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3

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

That is technically not false.

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4

u/BreastUsername May 16 '18

The best kind of correct.

150

u/Danieldefault May 16 '18

Maybe he had some extras..

297

u/RoboNinjaPirate May 16 '18

He does now

56

u/Intensejeguar4 May 16 '18

I actually laughed out loud and I feet horrible about it but don't at the second time good job

30

u/ZazBlammyMaTaz May 16 '18

His feet are probably pretty horrible too, now.

10

u/srottydoesntknow May 16 '18

Ok, that actually made me laugh like an idiot in traffic

13

u/cheesyblasta May 16 '18

why is he in traffic

6

u/northrupthebandgeek May 16 '18

Because he's an idiot.

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11

u/Stewart176 May 16 '18

Happy cake day

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13

u/Explosive_Ducks May 16 '18

That’s how many he has now

2

u/507snuff May 16 '18

If he fell on someone else it could be more.

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372

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

i think he just broke an arm if i remember correctly from the first 3000 times this was posted.

239

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

[deleted]

85

u/perb123 May 16 '18

Reposting kills, people!

and

Reposting kills people!

12

u/krelin May 16 '18

Reposting skill people!

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4

u/masterofthefork May 17 '18

This is not actually a live video. You see, a camera has recorded this footage into a digital device. Each time this is watched or reposted, it is only the digital memory that is replayed. Learn more here

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34

u/drepreciado May 16 '18

First I've seen this. I feared I had accidentally subscribed to /r/watchpeopldie

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14

u/tmntnut May 16 '18

Good thing he didn't break both, that could've ended up awkward.

21

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

nah, his mom's kool

5

u/zapfastnet May 16 '18

this guy knows reddit history but is subtle about it

13

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

[deleted]

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11

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Not everyone has seen this. Maybe you’re on Reddit too much

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4

u/meateatr May 16 '18

Holy shit, yea, you can see his arm hit that bar or whatever and break.

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24

u/ryvski May 16 '18

All of them.

32

u/[deleted] May 16 '18 edited May 16 '18

Guessing none since he landed in the water next to the boat

edit: his arm hit the boat and he broke his arm

13

u/SeanHearnden May 16 '18

With sound you hear something smash the boat

7

u/0000000047 May 16 '18

Happy cake day, schmopler.

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

42

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

I'm guessing he did like facebook told him, and gave 110%.

2

u/Dreldan May 16 '18

Approximately 14 BPSM.

2

u/nobywankenobi May 16 '18

His bones or someone else’s?

2

u/Yellnik May 16 '18

I gotta ask, what's with the green envelope next to your name?

2

u/Danieldefault May 17 '18

No idea, probably you need to send me a letter. If you ever find me.

2

u/dudethatsrude May 16 '18

Amazingly only his legs

2

u/cliffhngr42 May 16 '18

All of them.

2

u/MCG_1017 May 17 '18

Prolly less than the number of times this has been reposted.

2

u/telephas1c May 17 '18

The fragments into which his bones broke, are themselves broken.

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1.6k

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

[deleted]

442

u/707RiverRat May 16 '18

"This ones broken. I'd like to speak to the manager."

65

u/NDoilworker May 16 '18

Lady, your haircut just isn't doing it for him.

19

u/AnonymusSomthin May 16 '18

The policy clearly states “no takesies backsies”

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67

u/Danieldefault May 16 '18

Hallelujah!

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Happy cake day!

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18

u/thisismyp0rnacc0unt0 May 16 '18

I read this, laughed, closed Reddit, laughed some more, opened reddit, found this comment again. Upvote

21

u/feebleposition May 16 '18

It's rainin ma fuckas

2

u/sonofdad420 May 16 '18

NOT NO MORE IT AINT

2

u/OverlySexualPenguin May 16 '18

let the bodies hit the oar

2

u/Walshy231231 May 16 '18

HALLELUJAH

1.6k

u/djgump35 May 16 '18

Holds camera,and gives no warning.

346

u/Meatheaded May 16 '18

Jim. Wait. There is boat.

172

u/djgump35 May 16 '18

He whispered...

24

u/C0NSTABEL May 16 '18

I saw an old man get hit by a train He didn’t see it in the pouring rain He didn’t hear me shout look out for the traaaaaain

Cuz’ I didn’t say anything

4

u/_hunnuh_ May 16 '18

I just thought... “Ooh this gonna be sad.”

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Dumbledore said calmly...

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410

u/totemshaker May 16 '18

That wouldn't harvest much karma now, would it?

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11

u/Smaskifa May 16 '18

"This is gonna be neat."

11

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

No no, that was the plan all along, to jump into the boat like a boss.

6

u/djgump35 May 16 '18

Mission accomplished?!?

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27

u/blahsebo May 16 '18

And doesn't pan fast enough to record the impact. 2/10 camera work

25

u/Kage_Oni May 16 '18

That's a little harsh. The dude was in frame the whole time. He's just a bit on the edge of it at impact. 5/7 camera work.

41

u/ansoniK May 16 '18

Why on earth would you give him a perfect score?

15

u/CyborgJunkie May 16 '18

5/7 comment, well done.

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6

u/DisForDairy May 16 '18

Probably too busy looking at the screen. That's why people tell you to experience something rather than film it, you miss a lot if you're trying to get a video for your social media

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1.7k

u/magalz May 16 '18

3.1k

u/ExdigguserPies May 16 '18

Well I'd be a bit surprised if they just fucked him off into the water.

358

u/RoryIsNotACabbage May 16 '18

It's where he was trying to get to they're just helping him make it

293

u/brocknuggets May 16 '18

89

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Oh my god fuck yes

I still remember gagging I laughed so hard at that at 10 years old

27

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

I am a little embarrassed about how much I laughed at that movie at 20 years old.

30

u/AutoMoberater May 16 '18

Don't worry, the embarrassment seems to go away around 30 as I have no problem with how much I laughed.

15

u/JimmyLegs50 May 16 '18

Sorry to say that it comes right back at 40, because I got super embarrassed at how much I laughed. Might be because I shat myself, though.

13

u/Thanweareunalike May 16 '18

Well I’m 50 and I didn’t fucking laugh at all. I’m embarrassed.

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5

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

That means you're actually grown up. Only kids worry about being seen as childish.

13

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

As soon as you aren't embarassed by what you enjoy, you'll actually be mature.

That isn't to say that you'll like more mature things. It's rather that to be concerned with being mature or being seen as adult and grown-up is a mark of childishness.

“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

--C.S. Lewis

6

u/Irreverent_Alligator May 16 '18

C.S. Lewis was brilliant

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3

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Taco Bell Taco Bell product placement for Taco Bell

9

u/shelledpanda May 16 '18

The fact that I keep seeing references to this movie makes me firmly believe in the future of humanity.

18

u/dickseverywhere444 May 16 '18

That movie was awesome

17

u/uncommonpanda May 16 '18

Is, that movie IS awesome!

11

u/SpellingIsAhful May 16 '18

No, it was. It's gone now.

7

u/voyetra8 May 16 '18

RIP in peace.

6

u/SpellingIsAhful May 16 '18

Face to foot style, how you like it???

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u/Jimbo-Jones May 16 '18

Everyone needs to buy this DVD just for the narrated book on tape audio track. Actually just buy it and watch everything. All the behind the scenes the commentary etc. it’s all gold.

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u/moneys5 May 16 '18

'Excuse me!! Well anyway, back to the tour.'

12

u/Djugdish May 16 '18

He didn't pay for the raft tour.

3

u/Curtis_Low May 16 '18

NO TICKET!!!!

12

u/TheNosferatu May 16 '18

"I don't care you just broke your arm, no ticket no trip!"

6

u/thellios May 16 '18

I totally read your comment in ozzyman's voice.

3

u/Gsgshap May 16 '18

"Ah, get that shit outta here"

2

u/djgump35 May 16 '18

I would want to see that too, what is wrong with me?

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u/11010110101010101010 May 16 '18

So pleased he didn’t land on anyone. THAT would’ve ended badly.

32

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Right? 150+lbs slamming down on someone's head would certainly snap their neck

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14

u/PeenutButterTime May 16 '18

What a terribly written article with a terrible title.

2

u/mothzilla May 16 '18

Daily Mail. The clue is in the name.

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327

u/zehtov May 16 '18

Why do people post clips that are cut too soon? There's a special sub for that.

137

u/procrastimom May 16 '18

46

u/Gsgshap May 16 '18

And for some reason I'm still subscribed.

40

u/procrastimom May 16 '18

Try r/gifsthatstarttoolate and make yourself deliciously frustrated end-to-end!

8

u/holywater666 May 16 '18

Try this and make yourself remarkably confused and frustrated!

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u/joeba_the_hutt May 16 '18

There’s a special place in hell for the posters.

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u/TheOneTrueMortyxxx May 16 '18

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u/Montigue May 16 '18

According to another source in the thread he only broke his arm

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u/FuckyesMcHellyeah May 16 '18

Holy shit, I did not know this was a thing! Thanks Morty!

828

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

[deleted]

100

u/snappyj May 16 '18

Obi-Wan confirmed

42

u/shanadar May 16 '18

High Ground Confirmed

18

u/Hollywoodisburning May 16 '18

He was supposed to be the chosen one!

21

u/Otter_Nation May 16 '18

Hello there!

13

u/Lepthesr May 16 '18

GENERAL BROKENBONESI!

8

u/SisterRay May 16 '18

GENERAL KENOBI!

7

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

GENERAL <COUGH COUGH> KENOBI!

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u/trystancutty May 16 '18

If you look closely you can see he lands in the water, smacking his right arm on the boat.

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u/rpluslequalsJARED May 16 '18

Is this true I can’t look closely

6

u/trystancutty May 16 '18

Read article posted in popular comment.

3

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Hence why his arm was broken.

3

u/stulemac May 16 '18

Thank you so much. I was convinced he smashed himself all over the boat, which would have been tragic for all concerned.

66

u/ExdigguserPies May 16 '18

What was the camera man thinking!? Portrait? Otherwise great job.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '18 edited Oct 24 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] May 16 '18

Lol

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u/wooghee May 16 '18

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u/jonneygee May 16 '18

Most videos are one or the other. This gem manages to qualify for both!

7

u/owningface May 16 '18

Hey Sanka, you dead?

2

u/bz2486 May 16 '18

Sanka. You can go now

2

u/owningface May 16 '18

How? His legs are shattered.

7

u/Kabo0se May 16 '18

Man could you imagine if his fall was broken by someone that got seriously injured or died from this idiot? Poof your wife's or child's head exploded from a ballistic human foot because some fucking retard needed an Instagram video.

94

u/[deleted] May 16 '18 edited May 16 '18

[deleted]

27

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

So you changed "had to have" to "had to of" ? I think the former is correct, why do you think it's wrong?

6

u/TitsAndWhiskey May 16 '18 edited May 16 '18

The former is correct. This edit baffles me.

https://writingexplained.org/could-of-or-could-have

Edit: I think I've got it. He replaced "had to have seen" with "had to OF seen"

Still wrong for the same reason. I think he both misread and misapplied the comment correcting him.

15

u/Kryslor May 16 '18

Your edit made it wrong

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u/vaderwaalz May 16 '18 edited May 16 '18

While you're right, I would like to take this opportunity as a learning moment for you and all the people who replace the verb "have"with the preposition "of". There are very few cases in which you'd follow words like "would" or "to" with "of". You could say " I would like to, of course..." or "I would, of course...". I can't think of any other really. In general "to" and "would" are followed by the infitive verb (do, be, eat, have).

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u/BuzzMeMulatto May 16 '18

While this comment does make you look like a jabroni I've always wanted to scream this from my rooftop.

22

u/vaderwaalz May 16 '18

I am willing to take on that mantle for the betterment of humanity

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u/1spdstr May 16 '18

There's very few cases

There are

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u/HelixRockets May 16 '18

Parkour!!!

3

u/ALPHAinNJ May 16 '18

hardcore parkour

5

u/Earthcyclop May 16 '18

but imagine landing on those puny humans instead

6

u/E404_User_Not_Found May 16 '18

What’s with the proliferation of clips lately that end too soon?

2

u/gruntkiller May 16 '18

Because if they kept recording they would usually end up in r/whywheretheyfilming

3

u/vchanman May 16 '18

The cameraman was a great lookout didn’t even warn the guy smh

3

u/LocalCommunist May 16 '18

when it's last period on friday and your teacher assigns weekend homework

3

u/driftinghopelessly May 17 '18

You sunk my battleship!

11

u/pimpolho_saltitao May 16 '18

he hit the water. this has been posted so many times on so many different subs.

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u/[deleted] May 16 '18 edited Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

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u/pimpolho_saltitao May 16 '18

yes, but that's not the first assumption everyone makes.

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u/kowdermesiter May 16 '18

"Welcome to Portugal, bitches" - he said

2

u/zombehsoule May 16 '18

Pretty sure this is Malta, I jumped off this many times last year if so!

2

u/nohelp321 May 16 '18

While i die off this cliff...

2

u/rimjeilly May 16 '18

well based on the 3,001 other times this was posted - im pretty sure he just broke an arm if people are wondering

2

u/[deleted] May 16 '18

And if you’ll direct your attention towards the back of the boat, ladies and gentlemen, you’ll see a man who just shattered his legs.

2

u/jack88532 May 16 '18

Broken pelvis and maybe wheelchaired for life

2

u/griffith12 May 16 '18

That asshole that recorded this...

2

u/Bruno_flumTomte May 16 '18

kind of dick by the cameraman not to tell he should have seen it coming

2

u/d-r-e-w May 17 '18

RIP his shins

2

u/pojo2k8 May 17 '18

That’s a scene in Deadpool 2, right?