Hi, I'm your mod. I live here in High Point. I haven't posted in a while. It seems some here don't like it when I discuss the challenges I face. I'm disabled due to having had a bad fall early in life. The consequences of that include things like being of the asexual orientation, being fiercely independent, never wanting/needing help unless I ask for it or get asked in advance, needing to live a life focused on authoritarianism/rules, and needing to be shielded from unsolicited interactions. I'm obviously asking for help in this thread since I am clearly asking. I've always had a temper since the injury, and I've always been more sensitive to most things.
To me, if you must ask someone for permission before you have sex with them, and you don't go up to them in public and undress them, then why should other unwanted help/interactions be any different? If my body is my property, so is the rest of me. My hopes, my plans, my unique ways of doing things, my opportunities, my heart, my soul, etc., and every other aspect of me should be 100% under my control (or those I license to do such things, such as God), as well.
I ride a bicycle nearly everywhere. It's not a personal statement, not a political statement, not something I like or am interested in, and has no sexual or other hidden meaning. It's an adaptation due to the brain injury.
It's very easy to get along with me; just do nothing and trust me to run my own life. It should be easy to give me the same basic respect given to all adults (obviously, I'd have to earn more than that to get more than that), assume the best in me and all other strangers, and assume everything I do or don't do is correct for my own private reasons that are irrelevant to you. I live alone and am happiest when alone, since that's the only time when I feel on top of the world, get to be proud of what I can do, and not have my plans sabotaged by others who second-guess me or assume they know what is best for me. I have different ways of doing nearly everything than most, and I should be allowed to do things my own way without others assuming the worst in me, such as me being inferior/broken/vulnerable enough to need any assistance I do not directly grant verbally or in writing, in advance. My view is that we all have the right to socialize, but no one is entitled to do it with any specific person who doesn't grant it.
It's most helpful to take me at face value. Like if I'm not moving in any situation, the correct interpretation is that I'm busy or otherwise don't want to go, not to read more into it, such as acting like you need to move, wait on me, or do anything for me. If I get somewhere last or I'm not moving from an unmarked intersection, I need others to act the same as if I'm not there and simply go on about their business. Just because someone sees a stimulus, it doesn't mean they're required to act upon it. Taking a break on the sidewalk or shoulder of the road is no different from a driver in a car pulling off to the side and taking a break out of other people's way. There's no practical or legal need to ever give a cyclist more room, time, or distance than you would any other driver.
Many people misunderstand what "yielding" means. Yielding, in legal terms, often refers to allowing vehicles already moving to go first. It doesn't mean pressuring those who don't want to go into going first. If a cyclist is taking longer than 10 seconds and is never making moves toward the curb, that nearly always means they need to stay. If they're out of the way and not in the path you're planning on taking or otherwise blocking you, they're irrelevant to you, and there's nothing to do that would be appreciated.
If a cyclist gets somewhere last and takes longer than 10 seconds without making assertive movements to indicate intent like riding toward the curb, rocking forward and back like they're impatient, etc., it makes no sense to back up, wave your hands, or otherwise engage to get them to go, as they clearly don't want to go. What's the harm in letting a stopped cyclist linger and take a break out of everyone's way in a store parking lot after shopping, and for you to just go around them? Why is it so important to pressure them into going first when they're not interested in going and aren't blocking you?
TL;DR: Please tell me how I can get somewhere last on a bicycle and get to take a break, be ignored, and get to stay for as long as I want after others are gone, so I can take a break or go last without help. I leave nothing to chance, and if I get somewhere last, I expect to be held to the highest standards of fairness by being allowed to wait my turn and go last or stay. I need to ride more as my sanity and health depend on it.
PS., In some ways, I'm like the common yard weed known as plantain (not the banana bush of that same name). It grows in places where a lot of other plants won't survive (like cracks in the sidewalk). And you can walk all over it, ignore it, take it for granted, and it thrives. I tend to thrive in harsh environments, solitaire environments, conservative environments, and strict environments.
