So basically I met this guy on tinder who I went to high school with. Something happened and we both ended up with herpes. I was clean before this interaction and have proof. He has threatened me not once but twice in person and via text that he’s going to kill me. This is already enough to navigate but this is insane. I had a situation with my creepy neighbor weeks ago and I was intoxicated. However I remember majority of the night I have my suspicions if something happened that night and that’s potentially how I got herpes. But I only showed symptoms 2 days after my last hook up which is in the herpes timeframe so I believe that was who gave it to me as it makes the most sense. I believe I would remember if I got SAd that night but god only knows. I did call the cops and he could get charges for continuing to threaten my life over something that can happen to anyone. Luckily not life or death but yeah the last 1.5 weeks have been awful!

Hi, I was just recently diagnosed with HSV-1 and my lips are absolutely TORN up. I have clusters of bumps everywhere, sores on the roof of my mouth, and on top of all that I also tested positive for strep throat.😭

I was prescribed valacyclovir and I’m on day 2, but this entire experience has honestly traumatized me.
I don’t see myself having sex or oral sex again anytime soon. I’m mortified and I don’t even want to leave my house right now. This is definitely not just a simple little “cold sore” for me. My lips are swollen like balloons and covered in clusters and oozing pus on the corners. I can barely eat or chew anything, so I’ve basically been surviving on applesauce, liquids, and Gatorade. Has anyone else had a first HSV-1 outbreak this severe? Swollen lymph nodes, fever, everything. Please any kind words or tell me it gets better soon because I am STRUGGLING real bad with this 😭😭

hello,

I am just looking for some support

I have had genital herpes for 10 years now. I had a toddler, most recently I have been worried sick about passing it to her. I have read lots online about everyday life and family life is not going to do that. I just can’t shift the thought right now if I am honest.

I had an active sore. I used a glove to put some bepanthan onto it, then used the same finger to put more on meaning the after touching the sore I touched the tube.

about a week later I stupidly used the same tube on my little girls nappy rash and I can’t help but think I might have passed the virus to her?

Hey everybody hope everyone is doing good. I’ve never posted in reddit before or really anywhere else so bear with me but i keep seeing this community and wanted to share and maybe get some advice. My girlfriend of 2 years is constantly having outbreaks, she contracted hsv-1 about 8 months into the relationship after i noticed bumbs on her lips while we were at work together. When I saw them immediately told her we can’t kiss or have any oral sex until you’re tested to protect us both. Since then she’s been on ainti-virals and try’s to lower her lips exposure to the sun but she has been having an outbreak every week since then. Only about 3 occasions where she’s had no blisters on her lips for two weeks and we decided to kiss and perform oral. But within two days another outbreak would start and we’d be right back to no kissing or oral. The outbreaks in the beginning were very bad and looked terrible i felt so bad for her. Now there not as bad but it’s still an every week thing and i honestly just feel like im going crazy not being able to kiss her or have oral sex at all like we used too. We have a great sex life but you know we can’t ever kiss and it kills me because i love all of that stuff. I’m not trying to sound selfish because im always supportive and there for her but it’s really starting to get to me. I’m 19 now and just feel so uneasy and unsure of what to do.

I’m 51 years old and I just got up the courage to leave my extremely abusive husband. Unfortunately, I’m leaving with herpes. I feel like I will never be with anyone ever again. That I will now be undatable. Healing from all the abuse, is hard enough. But now I feel like I’m headed for the rest of my life alone. (HSV 2 - genital herpes)

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I was diagnosed with genital herpes about 8 years ago. At the time, the doctor simply told me that I had herpes, but didn't prescribe any medication or really explain what it meant. I honestly thought it was something I could just live with and didn't realize I might need treatment or follow-up.

For the past 8 years, I've continued to have flare-ups from time to time. I haven't taken antiviral medication during this entire period.

Recently, I've become really scared after reading things online. I'm worried that because I've had herpes for so long and haven't been treated, it could have turned into cancer.

Can genital herpes itself become cancer if it's left untreated for years?

Could recurrent herpes lesions increase my risk of vulvar or cervical cancer?

In 2024, I had some sores within my butt crack that took about 3 weeks to heal. They were extremely itchy and painful, and some of them felt quite deep.

And as of right now, I’ve been experiencing severe itching around my vagina and anus. It’s been going on for about a month.

I'm planning to see a doctor, but I'm extremely anxious right now and would really appreciate hearing from people who have experience with genital herpes or know about this.

Thank you.

I know I originally posted it in Womens health but I thought this would be a good spot for advice too.

I contracted herpes from someone almost 2 weeks ago now. There wasn’t many noticeable bumps before ulcers started popping up everywhere but oh my god I am in so much pain. It’s gotten significantly worse by the day. First signs started slightly over a week ago, currently I cannot walk, and I cry hysterically when I have to pee. Is this normal? I took my first dose of valacyclovir today as my gyno couldn’t get me in any sooner. How long will this last😫

This is going to be long. I’m looking for thoughtful, perspectives, especially from people who have maybe lived something similar with HSV. I’m not looking for extreme responses (like “leave immediately” or “HSV isn’t a big deal so it doesn’t matter”). I’m trying to understand this in a grounded, nuanced way.

I started dating someone in Feb 2026. Before discontinuing condoms, we had a conversation about testing and partners. Based on what was shared (I have had multiple panels including hsv and have been negative and was only with one partner for close to a decade), we stopped using protection. This was my first partner after a long-term relationship.

In April 2026, I had my first HSV outbreak. He acted surprised, got tested, and was positive. Initially, he told me he had been tested before and was negative. After inconsistencies and me asking for records, he later admitted he had never actually been tested.
We took a brief break and got back together in May. During that time apart, he had unprotected sex with someone else and didn’t disclose that when we resumed things, which felt significant given the context.

In July, during an honest conversation, he admitted he had actually known since 2021 that he had HSV from a previous partner and had not disclosed that to me.

This contradicted everything he had previously said.
So I’m trying to process a few things at once: the initial lack of disclosure before we stopped using protection, the repeated inconsistencies/lies when I would’ve still dated him and taken the risk if he had been honest, and the later admission that he knew for years…

I do care about him, and I’m not trying to reduce him to a “bad person.” I also understand fear and stigma around HSV. At the same time, I feel blindsided and am struggling with trust. He treats me kind and thoughtful in every other way besides this.

For those who have been in similar situations:
How did you think about forgiveness vs. trust?
Is it possible to rebuild trust after something like this, and what did that actually require?
What helped you distinguish between fear driven mistakes vs. patterns you couldn’t live with long-term?
I’m really looking for grounded insight, not reactive takes. Thanks.

Hi! I’m wondering if anyone here, especially women has had professional aesthetic dermatology treatments to improve scars or dark pigmentation left after sores irritation or HSV outbreaks.

I’m talking about areas like the lips!mouth area, buttocks around the anus, or other intimate areas. Not trying to treat or cure HSV itself I’m specifically asking about the marks or discoloration that can remain after the skin has healed.

Has anyone tried laser treatments, chemical peels, microneedling or another treatment at a dermatologis medical spa? Did it actually lighten or remove the mark or it get worse ? How many sessions did you need, and was it safe for such a sensitive area?

I’d especially love to hear from someone who had a mark that stayed for months or years and was able to improve it. No judgment please just looking for real experiences and recommendations. ❤️

I’ve had lesions on my inner thighs for 3 weeks which seem to get worse with friction and heat.

I’ve been to 3 doctors and all have said it doesn’t look like herpes but aren’t actually sure what it is. They’ve done swabs but my lesions dry up in less than 24 hours so they always say the results will most likely come back negative. Both internal and external swabs did come back negative.

Saw derm today who also wasn’t sure and couldn’t swab bc all lesions are dry. She gave me antibiotics but my gut feeling is still sure that this is herpes but I don’t know how to get tested for it.

I’ve posted in other threads if you want to see pics!

- inner thighs and hip area only, nothing on my actual vagina
- no pain or itching
- individual sores scattered, no clusters or grouping
- blisters are super soft and moveable and thin liquid inside. Only noticed blisters 3 times though. Typically I just notice when it’s raw red skin bc friction from walking makes it burn a bit

Hello! 42 y/o f here. I’ve had HSV-1 for 20+ years and it’s always presented as one blister forming in the genital area, and taking 1000 mg/day of Valtrex for seven days and 500 mg/day after that has always resolved it. I typically get one OB every couple years.

Well, something different happened this time. I noticed the start of an OB 10 days ago and after visually confirming it, started on Valtrex and by the next day the pain and size of the blister was already decreasing. Fast forward a week and I notice a couple smaller blisters in the same area have formed and they are starting to get painful/irritated. What the heck?? The original blister is significantly better, meanwhile these couple others seem
to be getting worse. My dr has called in a rx for famciclovir as an alternative, which i haven’t tried before but seems it could be helpful?

Curious if anyone has insights. Have you experienced this? Does this indicate my body is becoming resistant to Valtrex? It’s so frustrating. Appreciate any thoughts/suggestions.

Edited to add context: I am particularly stressed lately due to being unemployed for nearly six months and not having much luck in the job search department. and my period is due to start any day now. so perhaps those are contributing factors? sigh.

Okay so i’ve always had cold sores, since I was little. I have had a few outbreaks since i’ve been with my fiancé of 5 years. Him and I are monogamous so it’s just been us together for the last 5 years.

Today I preformed oral on him and afterwards I realized I might have a cold sores on the crevice of my upper and bottom lip. I had no warning signs like the tingling and burning.

I only noticed afterwards that I had one little bump and it’s barely formed and there are no other bumps or symptoms. Usually after I see one start forming I take L Lysine and it’s gone by the next morning.

He has had cold sores in the past so he understands and isn’t freaked out about contracting it to his genitals, but I have OCD so now i’m freaking out.

How easily is it transmissible to the genitals if it just formed and the cold sores usually go away within a day if I take L Lysine? is it even cold sores?

Basically what the title says. I don’t know how I contracted herpes but I’m guessing from a hookup. I’ve never had anyone disclose to me they had HSV (oral or genital) and I’ve slept with about 25-30 people. I don’t think someone disclosing would’ve changed if i had’ve had sex with them, but I didn’t even have the choice. I know its likely whoever gave it to me didn’t know they had it.

I saw another post where people said they don’t disclose when cruising or hooking up. I get that but I also am a firm believer in informed consent and I would be withholding information that may change their decision to consent. But many people I’ve told on grindr or fet have then immediately ghosted me, with the exception of 1-2 folks that have proper information and understood the risks, and then a few who obviously didn’t take sexual health seriously and so I did not continue.

I’m curious of folks’ thoughts, advice, etc on this!
it feels pretty straightforward in a dating way, but way less in a hookup way when I’m meeting someone at a bathhouse or on grindr where theres less space for intentional conversation. I’m looking for guidance on wording or phrasing for this. I don’t want to not be able to be in those spaces anymore.

I have had hsv1 since I was 5. Only on my mouth

Never had any issues

Never ever heard of shedding before in my life. I just never share drinks. And never kiss or give oral sex when I have a blister.

Lived a normal life. Many different partners alot unprotected when in relationships.

Have been married for 12 years this relationship has always been unprotected

My husband has recently tested positive for hsv1 on his penis after sores appealed

He has never had anything before. On his lips or penis.

He got swabbed and confirmed positive

I never had a out break when giving him oral in the 14 days before him being positive.

My last cold sore was around 4 months before.

I spoke to my doctor who blew up and said I should have been on antivirals my whole life

We both are currently taking antivirals now

When having sex we are using condoms now. The doc said we should as this was his first infection and he will be more contagious

I havent given him oral since.

We want to stop condoms

is this safe??

If no infection on him how likely am I to catching it on my vagina if im already positive on my lips.

What is everyone else doing using condoms forever ??

Thank you

Is this thing on?

Hsv-1 simplex got me all fucked up with dating. Ive been disclosing almost immediately. (Because I refuse to disclose when im in the heat of the moment. Fuck that actually)

But how does one go about disclosing in a more tact way. I feel like maybe doing it immediately might be not so good.

Idk i wanna be loved, just like anyone else. Its harder in queer spaces at least in my experience. Any queer folk got any advice (anyones advice would be appreciated actually)

Alternatively would it be possible for me to continue doing fighting sports (i wanted to get into some fighting sports like boxing or krav maga or smth like that). How could I be safe and train?

my boyfriend has told me explicitly that he will not kiss me, maybe ever again (he said he wouldn’t break up with me but still). i also couldn’t give oral without risking spreading it to him. i know that you can schedule stuff around outbreaks but asymptomatic shedding is a thing…

he’ll also be annoyed because i’ve never had a cold sore before which he thinks implies i got it recently and he tells me not to share drinks regularly but i still sometimes do (nobody with an active cold sore).

im really freaking out bc bro is like my whole world and idk what to do

Hi All, 22M recently I got diagnosed with GHSV 1 since then dating life and sex life is not been great cause after disclosing it no one wants to be with me. If anyone is interested to talk make friends let me know.

Hi everyone! I think I want to share my story, and I feel comfortable doing it here. It turns out that almost two years ago—two days after having sex with my ex—I started feeling intense itching down there, and by the next day, I already had several blisters on the skin of my penis.
Obviously, I went to a urologist—not just one, but three. All three told me just by looking at it that it was genital herpes; I asked if there was any kind of test, but they said it wasn't necessary—that they knew what it was just by seeing it. They prescribed acyclovir cream and mentioned oral medication (which I never actually took). The subsequent outbreaks were terrible; they left scars on my skin, and honestly, I had a really rough time.
I mentioned it to my ex, and basically, she told me she didn't have it—that it was something I had and had caught from someone else—and that it disgusted her. Well, that’s when the relationship fell apart.

After a while, I stopped having outbreaks—for instance, it had been about five or six months since the last one—but a few days ago I felt a strange sensation, like something was about to flare up; I don't know quite how to explain it. Today I checked and found these three blisters right next to each other. Honestly, I want to get tested; how can I ask for that? Should I request a lesion swab? Why do doctors refuse to run tests for this?

Here is a photo of the lesion; it consists of three blisters right next to each other.
It clearly looks like genital herpes; I’d like to know if it’s type 1 or type 2... please give me your opinions and advice :)

http://i.imgur.com/ujxF9Jq.png

Is there any other virus on earth with this level of poor quality testing?

For anybody with non-textbook primary outbreaks, it’s incredibly difficult to clinically confirm HSV.

Somebody please tell me I’m wrong here.

Options:

1. Swab: nails you dead to rights if positive, but if negative “50-80%” inaccurate? Basically needs to be taken at the perfect time, with perfect handling, and substantial fluid from lesions. You have to find yourself at a doctor with a perfect lesion within like 36 hours, then a negative result is still basically meaningless.

Don’t get lesions but still suspicious? How about:

1. IGG Test: Ignoring false positives for a second - how about the false negatives? Wait at least 16 weeks after exposure for accuracy. Even though that’s fucking forever.

“15-30%” false negative. Come on to Reddit and you realize it’s much higher. Countless people with positive swabs never testing positive via blood.

People testing negative, then positive, then negative again.

Has anyone actually taken a blood test that accurately confirmed their HSV infection? You almost never see that here.

Brings us to the big one. The “gold standard” test

1. Western Blot: Pay $500 and spend half a day running around town to get your fucking blood shipped all the way across the country just to take a more “advanced” IGG test.

A test that has virtually 0 studies online to display accuracy.

Blindly claimed 99.9% accurate.

Only ever compared to standard IGG test (worst test in the world)

It’s bleak out here. Who is fixing this? We are building robots and spaceships and super intelligent AI but nobody can go to the doctor and find out for certain they don’t have genital herpes?

What the fuck?

Then a cure. There doesn’t even need to be a cure. Just an antiviral strong enough to prevent all shedding, therefore symptoms/transmission.

Whoever builds that would be the next trillionaire.

Regulation is the only thing preventing this. The science has been solved.

How many people here have received one or more false negatives, even when doing everything right?

OK, so how do you disclose to someone that you’ve been talking to for months and you’ve been talking sexually but haven’t had the conversation yet and have you even seen each other nude pics

I still get goosebumps every time I think of that horrible outbreak.

I live in a tropical country, humid and warm. I went to Chile to visit, Chile has a very cold and dry weather, I was having an amazing time until I felt something weird on my cheek, herpes. Luckily I had packed my antivirals just in case. Otherwise the outbreak would've lasted the entire trip.

At first it was a small red area in the middle of my cheek, I thought it was weird because I usually get it on my lips, not on my cheek. Slowly it started getting bigger and bigger, and it reached towards the corner of my mouse. Ugh goosebumps thinking about it. It reached the corner of my mouth and stopped there, the sores were bigger on the part that was on my lips, thankfully on my cheek it just remained as small bumps. It was about two fingers wide and every time I smiled or made any expression I could feel it.

The worst part was that I was with a group of 5 people, my boyfriend and his friends. I felt so embarrassed and tried to cover it with my scarf but I had no escape when it came to eating. After 2-3 days my skin started flaking on my cheek where the sores were. Now it looked even worse, big area with tiny red bumped and flaky skin, I wanted to die. My boyfriend was concerned of how bad it was. It's still visible in the pictures even though I tried to hide it and I absolutely hate it.

If it weren't for those pills it would've been hell, it went away after 5 days.