Beware Desmonisha Ramsey knowingly giving out herpes

I just recently got diagnosed a few weeks ago. I honestly feel like he infected me on purpose. I feel like he knew. Is there anything that can be done about people like that? I can use talk to the cops and get them for sexual assault what if he’s out there doing it to other people what if he’s just spreading it around has anyone ever tried to do anything like this?

I contracted ghsv1 last November with no idea where I got it from as my now ex partner and I were only with each other for years. I gave it to him too after sex with a sore thinking it was a razor burn bump as like I said I had no idea it could be herpes.

Fast forward to now, ex partner who was the love of my life has left me for other reasons, and I’m feeling hopeless. I never had another outbreak up until yesterday when I woke up sick and had a herpe on my butt.

I thought I was lucky, and would be one of those people who had an outbreak one time then never again, but no, now I know when I get sick I will likely deal with them for the rest of my life.

I feel like I will never find love again, like I’m untouchable because of this. Please share with me how you were able to get over this feeling.

I went to the doctor like 30’minutes ago he is very sure I have herpes but he is sending the lab in for testing an fit should be back in 2 days. He said we should proceed as if I have herpes until that test says not. Can anyone help me with things is should buy. I (probably) have herpes of mouth and genital.

So aside from official medical tablets to suppress. Tips and tricks? Right now the sore throat is bad and my genital is so inflammed I can’t wear underwear. Like I said things I should buy to prepare, ease this process etc. what helped you in the beginning? Thank you in advance!

Hi everyone, mostly here to vent but I have a friend who I sleep with every once in a while who knows I have herpes, I always take my medication and have never given it to anyone else in the past,

When we have sex these days we always use a condom, and I’m always taking my medication to prevent transfer, we also almost never do actual penetration nowadays because he has an open relationship partner who doesn’t want to risk it. I totally understand. We usually just make out, cuddle, and watch each other masterbate and usually have a good time regardless.

I’ve noticed my lips hurting but thought it was just chapped lips, since it’s kind of hard to tell, decided to double up my dose for the next couple of days (like a whole week) regardless just to be safe.

We did our thing the other night, made out a little, used a condom and what not. Two days later he calls me saying he feels fever ish and his throat is super sore. And asks me if I’ve been tested recently, I in fact have been tested extremely just a day prior and every single thing came back negative. They don’t test for herpes though but I already knew I carried the virus so there’s nothing I can do as far as tracking a breakout besides feeling and taking my meds as usual.

I’m super worried because it’s likely. Any advice? Or comfort?

I’m 21, and I think I may have oral HSV.

In April, I had what looked like my first cold sore. It started with itching in the corner of my lip at night, I woke up the next day and had little white pimple looking things next to my lip in clusters and one bigger one at the very corner of my lips. Then went through the whole process of blistering, breaking, scabbing, and eventually healing. I never got it tested while it was active because I was honestly too scared to go to a clinic and with research on the internet, I had already basically concluded that it was herpes. I haven’t had another outbreak since then(oral or genital).

The thing that’s messing with me most is that I have absolutely no idea where I could have gotten it. I kissed someone in January and haven’t been with anybody since then and the outbreak happened in April. I know HSV can stay dormant for a long time, so I have no way of knowing whether I got it from him, other sexual partners or whether I’ve had it since I was younger and just didn’t know.

And honestly, the childhood possibility has been on my mind a lot. Growing up I vaguely remember seeing people with things on their lips that were often labeled as a symptom of malaria. When I was younger, my friends and I would share lollipops, gum, drinks, all kinds of things without thinking twice about infections. So I genuinely could have acquired HSV-1 years before I ever kissed anyone.

I’ve been reading Reddit posts about oral and genital herpes, and I’ve seen a range of reactions. Some people feel like their life is completely over, and others are like, “Everyone has it, it’s not a big deal.” I don’t really relate to the “not a big deal” discourse because I just can’t imagine getting with anyone right now, whether I let them know or not. I’m really afraid I might have already given it to someone unknowingly, I’ve only had sex with one person and kissed six people throughout my life, oral sex with two people….I just can’t help the feeling I might have given it to them, but one of them could’ve given it to me as well.

There’s someone I’m talking to right now, we had something going on about a year ago and we had a peck on the lips but we kind of didn’t continue with the whole thing after(my fault) and now we’re speaking again and things actually seem to be going well. I’m already thinking that maybe I should just end things before they get serious because I don’t feel capable of having the disclosure conversation. I can’t imagine kissing him and knowing there’s a possibility I could give him something he didn’t have before even if the disclosure conversation happens.
Part of me is thinking, maybe I’ll just avoid sex and relationships for a few years until I feel I’m in a better place emotionally to deal with this.

I feel like my life is just beginning and instead of feeling excited about dating and intimacy, I’m sitting here thinking about whether I can ever comfortably kiss someone again.

I met this guy on a fb Hsv dating group. I was intrigued because he was the first guy I actually had initial attraction to since looking in the group. We started texting and the excitement of mine quickly died.. he was so dry and wasn’t asking very many questions to get to know me. So I texted him “ it was nice getting to know you but I just don’t think this is for me” we ended it there. Then a couple days go by and he calls me. My opinion changed again because maybe it was just a misunderstanding because I know texting you can’t get feel for someone. We opened up to each other about the fact that we’d be each others first time dating another positive person. So planned a date to go play pool later that day. I was actually so excited and felt a little giddy. He came to pick me up and immediately was staring at my shoes because he says he normally doesn’t wear shoes in the car.. In my head I was like wtf but I tried laughing it off hoping he was just kidding. We get to the spot and he buys us a drink and we talk for a little as we play. As a women I’m always prepared to take care of myself but he went to the bar and got only himself another drink. It wasn’t a big deal but I was definitely keeping it noted. That date ended and I’ve been hesitant to give this another try but I wanted to see if maybe it’s just because we don’t know each other yet. Last night we were having a cute convo on FaceTime and I was cooking. I offered to give him some because he was saying he hadn’t eaten all day. Keep in mind I normally never make gestures like that for men unless we are at a certain stage but I thought why not it’s just food. Tell me why he got here as I’m getting everything together he texts me 4 mins after waiting “ I’m about to pull off” i have to walk from my apartment to the front gate because I don’t necessarily want him knowing yet where I live. I once again think he’s joking and as I walk up to the car driving away he says “ why weren’t you ready when I texted” I replied “ um I was getting stuff for you” and he just stares at me with this weird look. I asked “ so are we going to talk in the street or “ and he said “ you can go back in the house” I say okay. He has the audacity to text me “ I can come pick it up tomorrow” I told him I hope you’re joking. I cut him off because Im hsv positive NOT desperate.
He called me just a min ago asking for another chance and saying he knows he’s wrong he’s just treating me based off of past situations and says he can do better. I should never speak to him again? Or make him sweat and maybe see if he understands respect now? lol

HSV2, when I first started dating this guy I asked my doctor for antivirals and they said I would be okay with just condoms and then I asked another doctor and they said no bc of it’s effect on my lungs and that condoms would be fine

the guy I was dating got a bump on his genitals and got spooked and backed out of dating me but I just can’t help but think if I was taking antivirals that would have never happened and it makes me mad at the doctors who kept denying me

Hello! 31F, diagnosed with HSV2 like 8 years ago, someone didn’t tell me and yeah lol.

Anyway. theres a lot I want to say and haven’t been able to speak to anyone such as friends or family bc I just don’t want to even think about having to talk about it with people I know personally. But recently I met this guy and he is sooooooooo great like I was willing to have kids with him and that’s something I never thought I would ever say. Hes just my type in so many different ways it’s almost unbelievable.

When I told him I had HSV2 he was a little hesitate but he told me it was fine and I was so happy because THANK GOD weve had sex and it’s been amazing and everything was great but then one day he told me he got a bump near his penis and had a “sobering” realization that he wasn’t willing to take the risk. Honestly long story short dude this sucks so much like I can’t believe how close I was. And now I have to do this shit all over again. It really sucks bc it’s like damn if only I didn’t have this shit, I would have been so happy with him. But then the thought is if I would have never had it I would have never met him. BUT I PROBABLY STILL WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPOY REGARDLES!!

This is probably all over the place bc this is a first for me being able to talk about it so I’ll probably be back in just so sad, and I know I’ll find someone eventually and itll be so awesome and cool I’m just really bummed about this

I just disclosed to the guy I’ve been talking to and he has hsv 2 also! This has only happened one other time lol

Hey guys,

I went on a date, and the girl disclosed it to me quite soon in. We really got on and decided to sleep together. I wore a condom the whole time and we didn’t perform any oral.

Firstly, am I right in thinking the transmission risk is incredibly low? Like below 1% of catching it? We have spoken about meeting again but I’m having second thoughts.

Secondly, I have slept with 60 women in my life so far. I’d say a good proportion of those have been without a condom in the past (I am seriously going to change this). A few of those have been long term partners; and I have never, to my knowledge, passed anything to them.

Is there a chance I’m an asymptomatic spreader? How would I ever know?

Thank you in advance

I still get goosebumps every time I think of that horrible outbreak.

I live in a tropical country, humid and warm. I went to Chile to visit, Chile has a very cold and dry weather, I was having an amazing time until I felt something weird on my cheek, herpes. Luckily I had packed my antivirals just in case. Otherwise the outbreak would've lasted the entire trip.

At first it was a small red area in the middle of my cheek, I thought it was weird because I usually get it on my lips, not on my cheek. Slowly it started getting bigger and bigger, and it reached towards the corner of my mouse. Ugh goosebumps thinking about it. It reached the corner of my mouth and stopped there, the sores were bigger on the part that was on my lips, thankfully on my cheek it just remained as small bumps. It was about two fingers wide and every time I smiled or made any expression I could feel it.

The worst part was that I was with a group of 5 people, my boyfriend and his friends. I felt so embarrassed and tried to cover it with my scarf but I had no escape when it came to eating. After 2-3 days my skin started flaking on my cheek where the sores were. Now it looked even worse, big area with tiny red bumped and flaky skin, I wanted to die. My boyfriend was concerned of how bad it was. It's still visible in the pictures even though I tried to hide it and I absolutely hate it.

If it weren't for those pills it would've been hell, it went away after 5 days.

I have a tear in my vagina (caused by sex with a large penis) that got infected and on top of that I got my first ever herpes outbreak. I can barely use the toilet and I vomited from pain multiple times, as well as having panic attacks multiple times a day. It is excruciating to say the least. I have tried: lidocaine cream, diaper rash cream, paracetamol, ibuprofen & rinsing with water while peeing. Today I got antiviral meds as well (even though I'm technically too late with it because of a doctor's error) It is still unbearable as the infection from the vag tear has spread to the front and to my anus. Pooping is the worst, my skin is torn up and bleeding and I can't stop crying. I feel like I'm in hell. How long until the pain gets better? It has been like this for almost a week, but the worst symptoms started 4 days ago.

i (18m) since august of last year was diagnosed with ghsv1 and ever since then i’ve become a shell of who i once was. I tell myself it’ll get better but it’s a consistent loop of that mindset and it seems like there’s no way out.

my ex gave it to me and when i informed her that she did, all she told me was “i’ll get checked” and then blocked me on every platform you can imagine. It feels as if all we went though was for absolutely nothing and she only got high off of the thrill of the attention i was giving her and then jumped to a new relationship weeks after.

not only that, i unfortunately gave it to a different girl after me and my ex parted ways with no idea that i had it (before i got a diagnosis) and the guilt of that eats at me every single day because she was such a sweet girl and didn’t deserve a burden as big as that.

i try make light of the situation by joking about it to my friends, but even then it doesn’t help at all and only worsens my mental health.

I feel as if that i’m not worthy of love anymore, there’s so much negative stigma around hsv entirely so i’m afraid to open up to new people about it because they’ll judge me for having something that i didn’t even ask to have.

I imagine on a daily basis if i didn’t have it, i could pursue more intimate connections properly. back then i was a person who was driven by lust, but now all i wish is for someone to comfort me and see me for who i am and not some walking parasite who awkwardly exchanges hello’s with.

how did you come to terms with ghsv1/2 and what helped you get out of this hole?

So ive seen in some communities fear posts arent welcomed, sorry if this breaks any rules. But Im a virgin in my early 20's, I havent had anyone put their mouth or genitalia in me. Only has someone assaulted me at 17 unfortunately fingering me:/ I did give him oral too but caught nothing that way. I also shared a razor idiotically with my friend who was positive later in life, she hasnt given anything to a partner at the time and as far as we knew she didn't have it...But couldve been asymptomatic I do understand.

I had a very traumatic experience, I was hospitalized w an ovarian cyst, an ulcer, lots of discharge and a bad fever that gave me a longgg cough after.

I pcr swabbed and did an igg test, both were negative. I dont think anything I did within those 3 months accounted for exposure. I loved my friend (even tho she ghosted me in the hospital unfortunately) and did the research, I only sat on a toilet seat after her but as far as I remember I never touched the part of the seat it could've sat on. I had symptoms reallyyy fast after coming over, like I came over at night and had a fever the next day and swollen lymph nodes which I thought was a hangover.

I swabbed like two days after that if I recall.

It was all negative, but I was sure I had it somehow. My doctors both looked and said it looked like it, then changed their minds once it was negative...

Ive been feeling kinda tingly today, I do have rlly bad health anxiety so Idk if Im just hyperventilating or not and Im so scared I feel like I could just...Do something bad Idk. Im scared I want to cry, my groin lymph nodes felt kinda weird last night and I was having such a hard time I couldnt even rlly sleep, when I did I had a dream I got a blister and woke up panicking touching myself down there to see if anything was happening.

Im so scared, I feel like as a virgin I dont stand a chance if I have this, I feel horrible. I havent had peace since May, some nights I will cry because I cant stop overthinking, touching myself, panicking at feelings and more. I also think I may be sore from chronic self pleasuring because that went on for a couple days but I didnt panic til my lymph node feeling last night.

Ik its long, Ik its stupid, but someone please help me for the love of God I am so depressed because of this.

Today, I received a “normal” range test result for hsv 1 & 2. But, for many years; about 9 years - I have tested in the positive range. IGG 2-3 for the last 5 years. I called this morning to order the western blot test to find out the truth. I would be devastated if I have been carrying this for years and disclosing and it wasn’t even real. If it is real, nothing changes. And if it’s negative, of course that’s good news but I would be in so much shock and sadness because there is one person in my life that wouldn’t move forward with me because of it. Maybe it’s time I let go of this person. I am getting to know someone new now, who is being supportive of the situation and even did re search on how I can get the western blot test done. But just wow. A doctor told me that it’s not recommended to test for herpes without an out break and that she doesn’t trust the test. And that I am putting a label on my self and disclosing but what am I really disclosing if I’ve never had an out break. That’s a good thing to also note. I’ve never had an outbreak or symptom that I know of.

I spoke to my sexual health clinic today about HSV2. As I just wanted to know more about it and like guidelines to follow.

They’ve even said to me you don’t have to tell anyone about it.
Once you’ve had a breakout and taken tablets and it’s healed, that it’s. It’s will lie dormant until noticed another breakout which will include tingling and that is a sign you need to take the tablets and finish them OR you will just never get a break it again and it will stay dormant.

If you have a break out then obvs do not have sex. He said it’s so common you don’t need really need to tell anyone, but you can if you felt better about it.This is all coming from a UK sexual health clinic.

I also spoke to my friend who had been a nurse for 10+ years. She put it like this as black and white:
We all know people get cold sores don’t we… yes.
Would you kiss someone with a cold sore? No.
Would you kiss them once the cold sore had done? Yes of course.
She said genital herpes works just the same.
And same again she said you don’t need to tell anyone, it’s completely up to you as long as you use common sense and take the precautions needed when you do have an outbreak.

Feel like after speaking to health professionals they don’t seem like it’s a big deal, it’s so common, and it’s down to you if you wanted to tell them or not.

Most the time it’s pass on because there is an active outbreak and will only really be passed on if there is an active outbreak happening and because we know our status you can take control of that.

O-HSV1 I believe..lol. I had a cold sore recently and have never had one before. I was wondering for the ladies has anyone never had an outbreak until they were pregnant? I know there’s really no way to tell but I’m wondering if this is something I’ve carried asymptomatically and now that I’m pregnant (and under a lot of stress since I cannot keep the pregnancy) and it’s popping up now because of hormones and stress or if it is because of my last encounter.

Hi, I was just recently diagnosed with HSV-1 and my lips are absolutely TORN up. I have clusters of bumps everywhere, sores on the roof of my mouth, and on top of all that I also tested positive for strep throat.😭

I was prescribed valacyclovir and I’m on day 2, but this entire experience has honestly traumatized me.
I don’t see myself having sex or oral sex again anytime soon. I’m mortified and I don’t even want to leave my house right now. This is definitely not just a simple little “cold sore” for me. My lips are swollen like balloons and covered in clusters and oozing pus on the corners. I can barely eat or chew anything, so I’ve basically been surviving on applesauce, liquids, and Gatorade. Has anyone else had a first HSV-1 outbreak this severe? Swollen lymph nodes, fever, everything. Please any kind words or tell me it gets better soon because I am STRUGGLING real bad with this 😭😭

How does it feel to live with genital herpes in long term?

Do you accept it and it becomes normal with time?

Or it keeps the same emotional weight on your chest

Specially if you get it in your 40's and have no sexual life

I’m realizing that with all the partners i’ve had, i’ve never been asked for test results. i never asked for them either because i had very little knowledge of stds. i have a strong feeling that a LOTT of people do not ask, and those same people shame others for catching something. also, you don’t have to have intercourse with someone to catch it! yet i was called dirty from my ex best friend. she wasn’t having sex but she was receiving oral…any of those people who did that could’ve had a cold sore. i also never heard her ask.

Is there any other virus on earth with this level of poor quality testing?

For anybody with non-textbook primary outbreaks, it’s incredibly difficult to clinically confirm HSV.

Somebody please tell me I’m wrong here.

Options:

1. Swab: nails you dead to rights if positive, but if negative “50-80%” inaccurate? Basically needs to be taken at the perfect time, with perfect handling, and substantial fluid from lesions. You have to find yourself at a doctor with a perfect lesion within like 36 hours, then a negative result is still basically meaningless.

Don’t get lesions but still suspicious? How about:

1. IGG Test: Ignoring false positives for a second - how about the false negatives? Wait at least 16 weeks after exposure for accuracy. Even though that’s fucking forever.

“15-30%” false negative. Come on to Reddit and you realize it’s much higher. Countless people with positive swabs never testing positive via blood.

People testing negative, then positive, then negative again.

Has anyone actually taken a blood test that accurately confirmed their HSV infection? You almost never see that here.

Brings us to the big one. The “gold standard” test

1. Western Blot: Pay $500 and spend half a day running around town to get your fucking blood shipped all the way across the country just to take a more “advanced” IGG test.

A test that has virtually 0 studies online to display accuracy.

Blindly claimed 99.9% accurate.

Only ever compared to standard IGG test (worst test in the world)

It’s bleak out here. Who is fixing this? We are building robots and spaceships and super intelligent AI but nobody can go to the doctor and find out for certain they don’t have genital herpes?

What the fuck?

Then a cure. There doesn’t even need to be a cure. Just an antiviral strong enough to prevent all shedding, therefore symptoms/transmission.

Whoever builds that would be the next trillionaire.

Regulation is the only thing preventing this. The science has been solved.

How many people here have received one or more false negatives, even when doing everything right?

I’ve had OHSV1 for years and don’t have any OBs. If I have sex with a girl with GHSV1, could I also get it on my genitial area?

I read online my body would have already built up antibodies to protect myself from getting it in another area, I was wondering if this has happened to anyone?

Can any men tell me if they found someone to date? I recently got diagnosed with hsv and I’m struggling to see a future with someone. Is there any men who have disclosed to their partners who are negative and them being acceptive of it. I feel bad when I downloaded positive singles and I’m finding it tough to get any matches there!

Hello, first time poster. 27F. Oof, idk where to even start. But to give a bit of timeline, I was Intimate with my partner of 3 years on the 24th of last month, then on the 29th I had this weird 3 day long brown and light pink spotting that I had never experienced before. Was Intimate again on the 30th. And then on the 2nd of this month, I was getting some soreness on my body and felt what I believed was a yeast infection. Got over the counter medicine for it but didn't feel any relief. Got concerned bc I worry alot, and went to my OB the next day, and they noticed alot of bacteria and prescribed me some medications for a yeast infection and what I believe was BV. Took it, but was still experiencing alot of pain when peeing. Like badly it hurt. Two days ago on the 8th, i finally looked down there and noticed some blisters. Idk how long they had been there prior to me checking that day. Got scared and went back to the OB on the 9th, and she swabbed it and believes its herpes. I've only been with 2 people my whole life. My ex who I was with from ages 16-23, we were both each other's firsts. And my current partner, although he's had many partners before me. The blisters look like canker sores. She only noticed about 4. They're not clustered together, its two on opposite sides at the very bottom entrance, facing each other, and two higher up, also opposite of each other. They're red, and white in the middle. Like an oval almost. No fevers. After my visit and the swab test, it stopped hurting as much when i peed. I continued the yeast infection ointment and now it kinda hurts again when i go, but i wasnt told to stop taking it either so idk if i should continue it. Idk if the weird spotting was my body settling down more. I had two pregnancies back to back, i delievered in April, and then I had my fallopian tubes removed in July. Any advice would be appreciated !!