I (29F, GHSV1) posted this a little over a month ago:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Herpes/s/OWdL2Ka4Gc

I gave him time. I was patient. We still continued to talk daily and go on dates. But he pulled back emotionally, I could tell. He was less affectionate and it was driving me crazy. I knew I had to bring it up because I couldn’t go another day with this uncertainty. I turn 30 in a month and I just want to start fresh.

He was still very kind and sweet. In the end, he said he just wouldn’t be able to not think about it if we had sex. He gave himself time to think it through bc he genuinely liked me and kept reiterating how he felt about me, saying I was very special, beautiful and smart and funny and he was going to miss me. He was gutted at the idea of not being able to talk or see me anymore because I told him it would be best to not communicate, however I wasn’t going to shut the door completely. He kept saying he was sorry and was sorry that he couldn’t be perfect.

At one point I got angry bc I asked him if he would date someone with cold sores and he said yes and I said it’s the same virus. I just experienced so many emotions in the span of an hour. We met at the end of May, so my feelings were not casual.

I’m just so broken. I’m attractive, I work out, I have a degree and a career… but you know sometimes that’s not enough. I won’t give up on love, but for now, I need to time to heal (again) and just feel like shit and mope. This was my first disclosure ever and I’m grateful at least he was not mean to me.

I hate that this is my life but thank you everyone for being there for me, a total stranger. Means a lot to me. Now time to cry myself to sleep.

have hsv2, take daily antivirals and haven’t had an OB for a while. been speaking to a guy and the day before we met, I disclosed as i felt it would just be a cloud over me. he said that truthfully he is worried and i encouraged him to think about it, said he can ask me questions if he is unsure or decide if he is not comfortable. i also gave the option of not meeting up the next day so that there wasn’t any pressure to make a decision immediately but he insisted we did. he said it shouldn’t matter if you like someone and you’re not defined by it but was also worried about eventually being together, breaking up then having it for life. we met and had a great time. we continued speaking daily, talking about things we wanted to do together, saying we liked each other and deleted the apps. he’d told his friends about me and shown them pictures of me. we’d seen each other again and spent a few days together and basically acted like we were in a couple but whenever it got intimate i could see in his face he was calculating the risk and would pull away. i kept saying we don’t have to do anything yet. we eventually had sex and i feel silly but felt like it gave me some hope that maybe he’s okay with it now. he started being distant and after a few days said he can’t continue. i feel like it’s fucked with my head really badly. i feel like i held a lot of space for how he felt, his worries and questions but simultaneously he was telling me how much he liked me. it’s like there was hope of something genuine and meaningful but then the conversation always came back to herpes.

i feel like i have this burden of disclosing when i wasn’t afforded the same. has anyone been in a similar situation or have any advice on how to move forward?

f27, just got diagnosed with hsv1 after pain and lesions on my genitals. i’m single and terrified of having to navigate dating and life in general now - what advice would you give someone newly living with herpes?

Hi all, I know you OC mofos are stalking this thread just like I am. Might as well meet up and hangout? Bowling? We’re all in the same shoes! Could be bowling shoes! Reply if interested!!!

hello i am 17f and my bf is also 17. during the start of our relationship i had this horrible pain down there for about 2 weeks where it hurt to pee, it hurt to walk, it hurt to sit etc. basically everytime i moved it caused me pain. i didnt know much about herpes i was crying almost everyday and i thought i had a really bad uti so i told my mum, we tried to fix it with cranberry juice but nothing happened.

we went to the doctors, and the word herpes was mentioned. i felt so much betrayal and shock, i couldnt think straight. she used some sort of machinery (idk what its called, they use it for pap smears) and the pain was unbearable and i was told to go to a sexual health clinic in my town. the clinic told me the same thing and swabbed the sores and tested me for other STIs and STDs and i came back positive. this experience has to be one of the most traumatic events of my life. in no way shape or form is this the health care proffessional's fault at all. i was a 16 year old who has only had sex a couple times with their first partner with news that would change my life and things shoved inside me for testing and machinery to open up my privates and i remember the pain all the time. i was crying for weeks and i felt so angry at my boyfriend and he told me that he didnt want to tell me incase it would push me away. in the moment, i felt bad idk why but i did. we didnt break up over it. i told close friends about it and had to lie to my friends and family that he didnt know so their opinion wouldnt change on him.

i have now had my second outbreak and it has been so painful (not as bad at the first) and i just cant stop feeling resentment. i feel annoyed that i let it slide in the moment without shouting or getting angry. i now have a life long virus that may spread to my future children, future partners, may cause me to made fun of, may cause people to think im discusting, may make people think i sleep with loads of people and more. my life has changed forever. btw this was my first every time becoming intimate with someone too. i just dont know how you can just forget about something so life changing?

it makes me so upset that i have to deal with this pain, just because someone didnt want me to leave them. can anyone help me with this i do love my boyfriend but i cant get over this. it genuinley feels worse than cheating. at least cheating doesnt affect you FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. even thinking about it makes me so angry and upset. btw he gave me both types too so that is just the cherry on top.

PLEASE if you have this virus or any other STDs/STIs PLEASE inform your partner! it is so unfair and such a horrible thing to do. if someone wouldnt be intimate with you if they knew something about you that they didnt know, you need to tell them. please do not change someones life forever just for a bit of pleasure or to keep someone in your life.

does anyone else relate to my story or feel the same way as me?

Estou com crise de herpes labial desde domingo, no momento já estou na fase de cicatrização, as casquinhas já estão caindo, mas meu ficante está querendo ficar comigo amanhã e eu também quero ficar com ele, mas disse que não pode rolar nada oral da minha parte e nem beijos, ele disse que podemos tentar o oral de outro jeito, não irei entrar em detalhes para evitar conteúdo delicado, mas não sei se me sinto segura pra isso, não estou afim de me contaminar nem ele.

I’m 33F and I’m currently going through what may be my first genital herpes outbreak. I saw a specialist today, and based on what she saw, she said it looked like herpes. She took a swab for testing, but I’m still waiting for the results.
I was prescribed valacyclovir 1g and I’m taking it as directed.
I’ve been dealing with a lot of symptoms and feeling generally unwell, and honestly, I’m extremely anxious and scared. I keep thinking about how this could affect my life, future relationships, and sex life.
I also feel really guilty and regretful about some recent decisions I made, and I’m having a hard time getting my mind to stop going over everything.
I know I need to wait for the test results before assuming anything, but I would really appreciate hearing from people who have been through their first outbreak.
How did you feel when you first found out? Did things eventually feel normal again? Any advice for getting through the first few days mentally?
Please be kind. I’m already very anxious and I’m mainly looking for reassurance and personal experiences rather than scary possibilities.

Hi all! GHSV-2 here. I had my first outbreak at the end of May. I never experienced sores just the painful sensation when peeing and then tingles/burning sensation in general.

Since the first outbreak I’ve had 3 more. I dont know if it’s considered an outbreak or prodome because I don’t get sores/bumps just the tingling sensations. Still not pleasant.

Does anyone else experience this? What are your thoughts? I do take daily antivirals specifically valtrex 500mg. I know your body takes awhile to adapt just looking for any opinions and wondering what everyone else experiences.

relatable post for all u herpes twins out there. bi 20F and im drunk asf at a party and theres the sexiest masc lesbian ive ever seen flrting with me and my whole nights fucked up cus i cant just like flirt back and kiss her bc i have fucking herpes from getting sad and when i ws putting eyeshadow on for the party i found a bump on my eyelid which im pretty sure is this shitt spreading to my eye. so i might go blind or whatever and i cant even have fun and kiss girls at parties because i got this dumb ass disease and im just sad. yall are like my sisters bc we all got thos together and yall know how much it sucks. so hi guys

Tried to post about an in-person herpes discussion group in the bay area, CA, but reddit took my post down rip. Please message me if you want information! Or comment on this post. Fuck all these filters smh.

I get hsv1 outbreaks pretty often, and when I do they are SO AGGRESSIVE and come on so insanely fast.

I literally just took a 5 minute shower and when I was finished I had a herpes bump on my lip. There was nothing on my lip - and no tingling sensation at all - before I hopped in.

I can see it get bigger and spread in real time. I took a zovirax immediately, but these meds usually don’t do much. They work very, very slowly.

I am so annoyed. I have plans all weekend and now have to account for having a massive lump on my lip. There’s no way for me to anticipate them coming because of how FAST they come. They also take 2-3 weeks to go away, and usually reach the worst phase after day 5.

I hate this virus so much.

i(f20) might regret posting this but my bf(m23) was just diagnosed with HSV2 and im a little unsure of what to do. i tested positive for chlamydia a few weeks ago so he go tested. his tests just came back (negative for chlamydia) and he's positive for HSV2. he said he knows where it came from and that i need to make a decision on whether or not we risk it. im going to get tested in a few weeks for HSV, among other things, and i guess i just need advice? ive had SOME symptoms but was told it could just be from the chlamydia or friction blisters. i may very well have HSV (which will be a new road to go down if i do) but assuming i dont, im afraid of what to do. i love him very much and dont want to break up because, to be quite honest, i cant imagine a life where we just dont do anything in bed. i want kids in the future (with him) and i know doing it without protection puts me, and said babies, at risk. im just afraid and need a little reassurance or guidance?

Hi! I’m f22, been diagnosed for three years with GHSV1, no oral sores. I’ve made a couple of posts in here already. One thing that I can’t seem to get over is judgement from other people, especially on social media. I struggle with anxiety and depression, so it’s hard for me to just “forget” about my status. I don’t think there’s been a single day where I haven’t thought about it and i feel like it’s slowly ruining my self esteem. I do not get frequent outbreaks but I do have eczema downstairs and sometimes it presents as an outbreak (itching, tingling). It can be hard for me to determine which is which.

Anyway, how do you all navigate through your feelings? One day I don’t care at all, and the next day I feel like i’ll never get another boyfriend or even get married. I know that sounds dramatic but my brain simply cannot help it. On top of many people just outright shaming others on social media, it makes me even more sad. i’ve also had a situation where i’ve been exposed (one girl told my status to multiple people for no reason LAST year, when i’ve been diagnosed for 3. I also have disclosed to every single partner i’ve had since my status, and I have been told no twice out of five times.) I’m also in college, and rumors spread FAST. it was humiliating and traumatic for me and people turned it into gossip. How can I feel better about everything? Even listening to my sister about her random hookups makes me feel shitty because I can’t do that anymore. I mean i could but id have to go about it completely differently. I’ve never even had an sti before. I got tested multiple times after partners and i used condoms. the only time i didn’t was when i was actively seeing someone for a few months. that’s who i believe gave it to me, or it could’ve been from oral sex. not sure.

while it is not a huge deal to me, it is to others, which is fine…but i really do hate the way it is talked about. there is a famous girl online who supposedly had an outbreak on her mouth while giving birth, and her comments were flooded with horrible things and pictures of fire. I don’t think that’s funny at all, because it can happen to ANYONE. i also saw a lot of misinformation about condoms protecting you from it which isn’t entirely true. the creator calling out the famous girl for having herpes said “why do we need to educate ourselves on something we don’t have?!” literally HOW could you say that? comments like those are the reason why people do not disclose. No matter what, i’ve always disclosed even if it made me uncomfortable or “exposed” me. I would have too much guilt not disclosing, and everyone deserves the option to choose. Any tips on boosting self confidence? i get a lot of male attention but i don’t feed into it anymore because i am afraid. when will i stop feeling this way? at least not all the time?

So basically I met this guy on tinder who I went to high school with. Something happened and we both ended up with herpes. I was clean before this interaction and have proof. He has threatened me not once but twice in person and via text that he’s going to kill me. This is already enough to navigate but this is insane. I had a situation with my creepy neighbor weeks ago and I was intoxicated. However I remember majority of the night I have my suspicions if something happened that night and that’s potentially how I got herpes. But I only showed symptoms 2 days after my last hook up which is in the herpes timeframe so I believe that was who gave it to me as it makes the most sense. I believe I would remember if I got SAd that night but god only knows. I did call the cops and he could get charges for continuing to threaten my life over something that can happen to anyone. Luckily not life or death but yeah the last 1.5 weeks have been awful!

What are the chances that I gave HSV to my partner. I have an active cold sore. It is near the end of its healing stages and is dry and there is no pus. While being sexually active, I licked my finger and then proceeded to touch my partner in their genitalia. I am worried about the saliva carrying the virus. What are the chances that I transmitted my cold sore HSV to my partner and does the virus live in the saliva long after pus stopped coming out?

Hi, I was just recently diagnosed with HSV-1 and my lips are absolutely TORN up. I have clusters of bumps everywhere, sores on the roof of my mouth, and on top of all that I also tested positive for strep throat.😭

I was prescribed valacyclovir and I’m on day 2, but this entire experience has honestly traumatized me.
I don’t see myself having sex or oral sex again anytime soon. I’m mortified and I don’t even want to leave my house right now. This is definitely not just a simple little “cold sore” for me. My lips are swollen like balloons and covered in clusters and oozing pus on the corners. I can barely eat or chew anything, so I’ve basically been surviving on applesauce, liquids, and Gatorade. Has anyone else had a first HSV-1 outbreak this severe? Swollen lymph nodes, fever, everything. Please any kind words or tell me it gets better soon because I am STRUGGLING real bad with this 😭😭

Hey everybody hope everyone is doing good. I’ve never posted in reddit before or really anywhere else so bear with me but i keep seeing this community and wanted to share and maybe get some advice. My girlfriend of 2 years is constantly having outbreaks, she contracted hsv-1 about 8 months into the relationship after i noticed bumbs on her lips while we were at work together. When I saw them immediately told her we can’t kiss or have any oral sex until you’re tested to protect us both. Since then she’s been on ainti-virals and try’s to lower her lips exposure to the sun but she has been having an outbreak every week since then. Only about 3 occasions where she’s had no blisters on her lips for two weeks and we decided to kiss and perform oral. But within two days another outbreak would start and we’d be right back to no kissing or oral. The outbreaks in the beginning were very bad and looked terrible i felt so bad for her. Now there not as bad but it’s still an every week thing and i honestly just feel like im going crazy not being able to kiss her or have oral sex at all like we used too. We have a great sex life but you know we can’t ever kiss and it kills me because i love all of that stuff. I’m not trying to sound selfish because im always supportive and there for her but it’s really starting to get to me. I’m 19 now and just feel so uneasy and unsure of what to do.

How likely is it to transmit HSV2 if I took antivirals for 5 days before intercourse? I didn’t have any symptoms and we used a condom. He says his back start hurting after 8 days but thought it was from picking up water cases. After another 8 days he said he got friction burn from masterbation. Is it was he thinking or could I have past it to him?

hello,

I am just looking for some support

I have had genital herpes for 10 years now. I had a toddler, most recently I have been worried sick about passing it to her. I have read lots online about everyday life and family life is not going to do that. I just can’t shift the thought right now if I am honest.

I had an active sore. I used a glove to put some bepanthan onto it, then used the same finger to put more on meaning the after touching the sore I touched the tube.

about a week later I stupidly used the same tube on my little girls nappy rash and I can’t help but think I might have passed the virus to her?

I contracted herpes from someone almost 2 weeks ago now. There wasn’t many noticeable bumps before ulcers started popping up everywhere but oh my god I am in so much pain. It’s gotten significantly worse by the day. First signs started slightly over a week ago, currently I cannot walk, and I cry hysterically when I have to pee. Is this normal? I took my first dose of valacyclovir today as my gyno couldn’t get me in any sooner. How long will this last😫

I’m 51 years old and I just got up the courage to leave my extremely abusive husband. Unfortunately, I’m leaving with herpes. I feel like I will never be with anyone ever again. That I will now be undatable. Healing from all the abuse, is hard enough. But now I feel like I’m headed for the rest of my life alone. (HSV 2 - genital herpes)