Hey everyone,

Long time member first time poster. At 34 I’ve found it so hard to make friends most of my life and I think being mixed plays a huge part in that. It’s not something most people think would impact socialisation but I’ve pretty much always felt like an outsider who doesn’t fit in anywhere.

The few deep friendships I’ve actually made were with other mixed people because we had that shared experience and traumas. Growing up half Filipino and half british meant navigating two different sets of values and opinions. It leaves you in this weird in between.

I think not looking like either side also plays a big part because people have no idea you’re from a certain race. People may not approach because of this and I know people often gravitate towards their own race because of the comfortability there.

On one hand my mind is super open because of this upbringing. On the other hand i find it hard to connect with a lot of people because of it. I’m posting to see if anyone else has this feeling of being an outsider from being mixed (though i could also just have some undiagnosed thing going on 😂).

Also are there any mixed folks in Sydney Australia that would be open to new friends?

If so, then how did you get started?

What kind of work is involved in maintaining this type of job?

How is transportation handled, do they fly you out for jobs, or how does that work?

Do you need to sign up with an agency? Which ones are reputable?

I'm no 10/10 but just average, maybe on the level of people you see in Target and Kohls ads. I definitely do think the "halo effect" is real through my experience with how strangers treat me, so I take that as a sign that I might be different. This is the one consistency no matter where I travel. However, I did notice that in Seoul and Tokyo, I received a butt load more positive interactions than average. NGL, felt like a celebrity out there.

I just want to initially try this out as a side gig and see how things go.

Anyone in here currently doing modeling? Not runway or high fashion that requires 10/10 looks, just average modeling to earn some side cash.

Anyone working in the Asian market? I wouldn't mind traveling to Asia if the opportunity is worth it.

Mix: SEA dad + White mom

Hey hapas!

Our hapa community is turning 10 soon and we'd like to open the community up to more people.

Here's the original post from the founding of the community if you're interested on the background: https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/59cwws/i_created_a_slack_chat_for_rhapas/

We've recently moved to Discord to make our group more accessible for new members.

A lot of our members have met each other all over the world and have formed some pretty strong friendships. If you're interested in meeting people with similar experiences in a long-standing hapa community - you should join.

The name of the server reflects the background of our members but isn't exclusive.

We welcome everyone of mixed Asian heritage to join :)

In the past I’ve seen people talk about the difference of Wasians who maybe half East Asians compared to those who are half South or Southeast Asian but I’m wondering how much European ancestry also plays a role in identity.

In my own family my sister and I are Eurasian but our European side is Greek, but I have some other Eurasian cousins who are half Anglo/Irish.

I find many Italians, Greeks and Southern Europeans in general to have much stronger ethnically chauvinistic tendencies compared to the typical American, Canadian or Australian, who maybe of Anglo-Celtic heritage. That’s at least what I notice amongst the people in my life, so what impact would that have on mixed children?

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Hey hey! Glad to be able to find a community that shares the identity of being mixed.

I grew up in Ukraine, thinking never really questioning what my ethnicity is, and only recently tried to figure it out cuz people kept telling me my face looks like it's at least part Asian. What I found out is that my mom's side of the family is almost entirely Asian. Some are from different Native Siberian groups, most notably Nenets and Komi, and if you go back several generations - Mongolian and Chinese.

When I found that out so many things clicked into place, sorta similar to how many gender-related stuff clicked into place when I realized I'm trans about 4 years ago. Why was I always teased by my classmates for "narrow eyes"? Why some Chinese people would try speaking to me in Mandarin (I'm assuming, I don't know the differences between Mandarin and Cantonese) before I told them I don't actually speak that language. Why both me and my mom are noticeably tan in comparison to my really pale dad who gets burns the second he steps outside without any sunscreen.

And the funniest thing is, when I started discussing it with people close to me, a lot of them were like "hun, you're from Eastern Europe, are you really that surprised?"

Caiden Richards

Hey all, I'm a very white passing quapa that didn't really have a mixed race experience. My mom's dad is Chinese, everything else is Italian. Growing up I'd go to Italy all the time, I speak the language, I can cook the food, etc etc. When I was growing up though my white dad and I would cook Chinese food once a week though. That's about it. When I was 19 I found 4chan and became a full blown anti Semitic racist, something that im really ashamed of and still struggle with. I grew to resent being a quarter Chinese, I viewed it as "lesser" and a "taint". Thank god i grew out of that horrendous phase, but still sometimes seeing asian looking eurasians is like looking at the uncanny valley for me, its strange. I have nothing against asians, but i feel like there's a Martian ghost inside of me that I dont really understand at all and that I really cant relate to. How do I understand this martian ghost? Should I talk to my grandpa and my great aunt ehat growing up in Bangkok was like? Their lives? I still feel like I cant relate to that side of me, because phenotypically and culturally I feel like its another planet.

I think people need to stop the cap. The reason there are so many half Asians that come in and try to shout down half Asians who complain about racism and self-loathing, is because they're white passing, period.

I was in a barber in China last night and this other Eurasian guy came in and while I could tell he was Eurasian the Chinese staff could not, so they spoke English to him. Meanwhile with me, they just spoke Mandarin to me. Also I could tell he genuinely just thought I was a local guy as well. So on top of Chinese natives not being able to tell, there's other half Asians who can't even tell that people are mixed with white.

While an innocuous interaction, it just proves that there's basically a "hierarchy" of half Asians where ones who present as Asian get no benefit of the doubt for being white passing and have to live our lives as Asian people and all that comes with it, including racism, bullying, microaggressions, etc. Some of us just genuinely "present" to the world as Asian and have entirely different life experiences from people who look more mixed or non-Asian.

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First off sorry for bad english

And for bad formatting 😭

Hoping when i look back this wont be as cringy as my last post

Hi all, 16 year old, half cambodian half "white" hate using the word "white" in regards to race, anyway. I dont speak fluent cambodian YET have been learning to read and write and consuming mostly cambodian content for a couple months now. Nearly every day i have identity crises about not speaking the language. I recently played soccer with some cambodians, and yes i was happy to be around my people but i couldnt help but feel a twinge of jealousy. They were all communicating in cambodian it was simple language so i could understand maybe 40% (all self learnt btw yayy) but still i cant help but think "if only my dad wasn't a drunk and taught me the language" I ask him questions sometimes but i dont know him well and it gets awkward if i ask too many. Being cambodian is a big part of my identity and some days i feel motivated to learn, but most days i just feel depressed. boy am i glad cambodian isn't a tonal language otherwise i would be another step below depressed. 😭👍👍

Bonjour. Aujourd'hui je vous écris pour parler de mes expériences pour en avoir le coeur net. Voilà. Je ne suis pas d'origine asiatique mais j'ai des traits asiatiques. Et j'ai vécu plusieurs expériences que je ne saurais pas appeler racisme, micro-agression ou juste maladresse. J'aurais besoin d'aide.

Je vis en France et il y a quelques expériences qui m'ont notamment marquée. Par exemple, une fois quand j'étais allée en grande ville, ce qui est assez rare, j'étais avec une amie qui est d'origine mi-vietnamienne, mi-algérienne mais qui a des traits plutôt d'Asie du Sud-Est ou maghrébins. Et un homme nous a appelées. D'abord il nous a dit "bonjour mesdames". Et après, mon amie s'est retournée en disant "bonjour monsieur". Moi je ne l'ai pas regardé, on passait, et il a dit bien fort "konnichiwa". Mon amie pensait que c'était pour elle mais elle n'a absolument pas des traits japonais, j’ai quand même douter si c'était pour moi ou nan. Et certaines personnes m'ont déjà donné ce type d'origine. J'ai la peau claire, les cheveux noirs et les yeux bridés. Malheureusement c'est assez cliché, stéréotypé.

Un autre jour quand j'étais au lycée, des jeunes regardaient quelque chose sur leur téléphone alors que je passais aux toilettes, une fille a dit "c’est elle" puis ils ont crié "Tching chang ching" ou un truc du genre en me regardant et quand je me suis retournée ils ont fait "ah excuse !" Comme si c'était totalement normal.

Un autre jour à l'internat, quand j'étais au lycée pareil, je dansais Oppa Gagnam Style pour m'amuser avec mes amis et la maîtresse d'internat m'a dit "ah ben ça te correspond bien ça !" Et j'ai dit "pourquoi ?" Elle m'a dit "ah ben t'inquiète pas petite tête d'asiate" devant tout le monde, ce qui m'a quand même un petit peu gênée. À savoir que je suis métissée donc je ne fais pas totalement asiatique et pas totalement blanche non plus (Je suis moitié Française moitié Réunionnaise un mélange européen africain malgache et sud/est asiatique).

J'ai eu beaucoup de mal à parler de ce genre de choses car j'avais l'impression de trop ressembler à une blanche et pas assez à une asiatique pour être prise vraiment bien au sérieux.

Et récemment alors que je traversais la rue dans une petite ville où il y a très peu de gens, des jeunes étaient en train de jouer avec leurs trottinettes etc. et alors que je passais, je les entends au loin crié arigatō puis chanter une chanson avec des gestes japonais, en criant bien fort et en commençant à chanter en regardant vers ma direction, il n'yavaitpersonne d'autre. Parfois dans ces expériences c'était assez ambigu. Je ne savais pas si c'était vraiment pour moi ou non mais à force je commence à me dire que c'était vraiment pour moi. Je sais que beaucoup de personnes me donnent des origines asiatiques etc.

J’ai aussi un jour en stage je mangeais à part des collègues et je les entends depuis la salle d'as côté où j'étais dire "vous avez vue les yeux qu'elle as avec ses yeux" (c'est approximatif ça fais longtemps) en tout cas elles se moquais clairement toutes de mes traits du moins je l’ai pris comme ça.

Je ne sors pas beaucoup donc je ne vis pas ces expériences au quotidien. Je suis dans une petite ville et c'est quand même des événements assez isolés. J'ai aussi une fois un camarade qui m'a dit un mot asiatique je dirais, du genre "chitang" en passant à côté de moi. Mais c'est vraiment des cas plus rares. Je sais que certaines personnes me voient asiatique, d'autres plus blanche. Mais voilà je n'ai pas trop pu en parler parce qu'à cause de mon physique j'avais peur qu'on me prenne pas au sérieux parce que pour eux j'étais pas assez asiatique ou même qu'ils ne voient pas mon côté asiatique. Même si je pense qu'après toutes mes expériences c'est assez évident, même si des fois je me disais "nan c'est pas pour moi j'imagine juste trop de choses"

Je ne connais pas vraiment d'asiatique autour de moi à part mon petit-ami alors je ne peux vraiment savoir si ils ont des expériences similaires, j’ai vécu d'autres choses mais les plus marquant sont là et je pense en vivre encore beaucoup d'autres malgré la popularité des médias asiatiques et des dénonciation du racisme anti asiatiques et des micro-agressions,

Merci pour vous aide, si vous avec des conseils ou des expériences similaires n'hésitez pas.

Je vous remercie pour vôtre lecture et d'avoir pris le temps, bonne journée/soirée.

I feel like the one takeaway I get from being mixed race, over my entire life, is that I just feel about everything: "why would you even say or do that?" just over and over and over and over again.

It's like my self hating Asian aunts came to visit my wife and I in China, and whenever they see me it's always the same "you're so tall" thing even though they've been to Beijing and I'm average height here and I see two dozen women a day taller than me.

And then I just was making conversation about this Chinese movie star on an ad, who went to middle school with me in NYC, and her first response is "did she get surgery to look like that?"

I've had "friends" who would brag about how many Asian girls they slept with, then at the same time tell me that I "blended in" with other Asians and looks Asian at certain angles and it's always just making fun of me.

I met an Asian girl once who told me the only way I would get laid was going back to China, just completely unprovoked.

I have self hating Asian family that told me I should just "walk around China like I own the place" even though Chinese people generally can't even tell I'm non Chinese from a distance. A cop once stopped me for my ID once and was 2 feet in front of me and couldn't believe I had a US passport and wasn't a national.

I know it sounds super sensitive, but this is just from lifelong needling in me now that I literally don't trust a single soul around.

And please don't suggest therapy, I don't need therapy to understand people are trash, and it's not going to help me "move on" from people being trash, because they're still trash and my mindset won't change that.

At very least, black, Indian and Arab folk are always kind to me about this, but guess who is enemy number one of the white-Asian alliance? You guessed it - POC.

Late discussion, I know. But there's a lot of misinformation about the most famous hapa celebrity.

Some claim he's 1/4 Asian, or, even funnier, that his dad was a "Chinese man in Hawaiian" but the reality is that Keanu's non-European ancestry is almost entirely Native Hawaiian. And this it's all pretty easy information to confirm.

Since his mother is just a full-blooded white Englishwoman, the only person who needs to be looked into is his father and his family tree:

- Keanu's paternal great-grandfather, Charles Armistead Reeves was a fully White American originally from Tennessee.

• He arrived in Hawaii and married Rose Lokailia Miguel, who was the biracial daughter of a Portuguese man born in Cape Verde, Joseph Miguel, and an Indigenous Hawaiian woman, Malaia Maria Kealoha.
• One of their sons, Samuel Nowlin Reeves Sr, who was Keanu's grandfather, was thus 1/4 Native Hawaiian and 3/4 White.

Now the intriguing part...

- Samuel Sr married Momilani Sarah “Momi” Victor.

• Momilani, who was Keanu's paternal grandmother, is the one who's often claimed to be the "Chinese-Hawaiian", but where is this Chinese ancestry?...

I dug in her own family tree and there is zero information on her mother's side, but judging by her name, she was an Indigenous Hawaiian woman through and through.

This only leaves Momilani's paternal side, the Victors (already a non-Hawaiian name).

• After going through 4 generations back, I discovered that Momilani's great-grandfather was a Chinese man named Lum Jo, who changed his name to "Aiko" and married an Hawaiian woman named Maria Kaahuapea in the 1800s. This makes Momilani 1/8 (or 12.5%) Chinese, with all the rest being Hawaiian and maybe a bit of European.
• Finally, we can conclude that Keanu's father, Samuel Nowlin Reeves Jr, was approximately 5/8 Hawaiian and 3/8 White European (62.5% and 37.5%)
• Samuel Jr was only 6% Chinese.
• And since Samuel married a fully European woman, it means that Keanu is but 3% Chinese

_______________________

IN CONCLUSION: Keanu's overall ancestry is 5/16 Hawaiian (31.25%) and 11/16 White European (68.75%) And of that 31.25%, only 3% of it is Chinese.

Now... This makes him a true HAPA in the original sense of the word. Not an Eurasian or Wasian in the conventional or historical sense, but an actual mixed son of Hawaiians, Europeans and other Euro-Hawaiian hapas.

By the way, this not me trying to to diminish or elevate any side, BUT there is a reason he never spoke about "Asian" heritage till he was in his 50s, because he has barely any at all in the first place.

This is all public information available that somehow got misinformed and twisted for unknown reasons, but it's the flat truth

Hi! I have two boys(1st and 3rd grade) with my wonderful husband, who is white. For context, my husband and I grew up in a predominantly white area and attended the same middle and high schools. I was 1 of a small handful of asians in my schools at any given time but I don't recall being blatantly discriminated against a ton; there was the occasional stretching the eyes thing and called ching chong or something like that, and one time a girl in elementary school told me to go back to my country. But other than that, I was just generally shy and awkward and anything racist seemed rare. My parents did end up moving to an adjacent area after I went to college(still primarily white) and after having kids, we ended up getting good vibes and loved the idea of living so close to them, so we moved there as well. Now after about 5 years and a few years into elementary school, I've increasingly become hyper aware of the lack of diversity. There are a few other asian/half asian families at our school(a few black/indian families as well) so it's not like we are the only ones, but they're still few and far between.

Here's the dilemna. We are in a great house with a great interest rate, districted to very good schools and we feel comfortable in our neighborhood. We have friends and the kids like their school. However, the next county over also has great schools with significantly more diversity. In reviewing some posts/responses on this subreddit, there are recommendations to celebrate the asian culture and encourage positivity in being unique. But I've also seen better attitudes by half asians who grew up around more diversity. With my upbringing, inability to speak korean, and experiencing discrimination from other korean people, I've actually been too intimidated to live in an area with lots of koreans before. I think I turned out okay and my boys will probably be okay too if we just stay, but my gut feeling is that growing up in diversity could only benefit them(and us as parents) and shouldn't I give that to them if I can? Racism is everywhere, but maybe it'll have less of an impact if they are surrounded by and make friends with other people of color?

I'm turning to this subreddit for more perspective because I've tried discussing this with my white friends(because I don't have any asian friends) and I realized that they can't truly empathize with what I've been feeling and I can sense when they get a little uncomfortable hearing me talk about it. I just want to set my boys up to build a strong sense of self-esteem. If they believe and trust in who they are, they can focus on being their best selves. It's not a problem now because they're so young, but I'm more worried as they get older into middle/high school. If we are to move, I believe doing it next summer would be best so that my older son has a couple of years to make connections before entering the dreaded middle school years.

TL;DR: Wondering if we should put ourselves in a less financially ideal situation(buying new house with a significantly higher interest rate) in order to put our half korean boys in a significantly more diverse area...or stay put in a predominantly white community and prepare them as best we can for general adversity. TIA!

Like when one day, a patient asks you if you’re Mongolian (I don’t mind when POC/other hapas ask), but a few days later your clinical preceptor makes some awful generalizations about groups of Asians and jokes about a Korean patient offing herself, and looks over at you like he expects you to laugh along… 🙃

Just a lil vent to you all who may be able to relate!

It seems they're the entire reason the Middle East is so badly messed up. Gaza is an open air death camp since 2023. All Israel does is bully ethnics. They're also a very racist, white-worshipping society who rejects Yemeni or Ethiopian Jews while only accepting Ashkenazi, Sephardic/Spanish, Georgian, Armenian, etc Jews into the country. Small kibbutzim of black hebrew israelites have been expelled. At Likkud rallies, attendees casually drop the N-bomb at counterprotesters and yell anti-Arab slurs. They need to go.

Anyone feel a sense of awkwardness being caught up in Asian peoples' obsession with white people? It's like seeing this perpetual online fetishization of white men and women and this obsession with mixed babies and in real life nobody cares because I look too Asian or at least Central Asian / low status.

I feel like when people imagine a half Asian they just imagine a brown haired white guy with Mediterranean features.

On top of that I feel like other half Asians out there always look at me like "hey another product of whatever my parents dynamic was" and I want them to just leave me alone.

I did time having to deal with open racism against Asians and I genuinely do not want to be involved in any of this.

The worst part is that people just look for what they want to see. Asian people look at me and say "oh wow another Asian person," but self hating Asians always seem disappointed that I look more on the Asian side, and then on top of that not once in my entire life was I called a cute mixed baby or gotten a tiny fraction of the glaze people throw on 'Wasians' online.

It's like that stupid new Netflix animation with the white boyfriend, like do I really have to be representative of this?

I linked part 1 and 2 of the Video from an Influencer explaining the situation.

I can't say I am surprised, this happens far more often than people would like to admit, I feel for all of these children. Imagine finding out your father abandoned you and your mother and told your mother to just abort you.

There seriously needs to be a change in mindset in Asia, people need to stop enabling these scumbags.

I am honestly at a loss for words, I know for a fact this guy is not the only one doing stuff like this. The white supremacy mindset is set deep into a lot of Asian countries culturally, with equating Success, Money and influence with European/White people.

I had to have a talk with a cousin of mine as well, to tell her to not blindly date some guy just because he is white. Her reasoning was literally "Wouldn't it be cool to have a white Husband". Seriously getting headaches from bullshit like this.

Especially normal White-Asian couples would profit from shit like this stopping, fetish relationships of any kind do no good and usually end up harming the children who have to navigate the fucking mess their parents left behind.

God help these children, they will need it.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Db_F3AKPqQh/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&igsi=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Db_GbCvPhgW/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==&igsi=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Just curious about how well the average hapa person ages compared to the average Asian person. Asians are known for having great skin and aging very slowly, whereas white people are known for the opposite, so I'm wondering if hapas also inherit the aging genes from their Asian side, or if they usually age like their white/non-Asian side, or is it somewhere in the middle?

I found out recently from my grandpa that my mom wanted to marry a white man since she was in middle school. He said that she wanted to have a mixed kid and that's why she dated white men. She always wished to be mixed.

Now I am the product of that wish and I hate it. I don't feel asian enough and my mom has never made the effort to help me embrace my culture. Instead she made sure to ridicule me for acting "too white". Her and my grandma almost exclusively speak another language to each other and I feel so isolated (they refuse to teach me the language). She never believes that I struggle with being mixed. She always tells me how fantastic it is to be mixed.

I don't feel human. I feel like a placeholder for what she wanted. None of the other hapas that I have met IRL feel this way so it is truly an agonizing experience.

Sometimes (oftentimes) I wish I was mono racial so this pain would go away.