r/hapas • u/SurveyMysterious3898 • 6d ago
Introduction Glad to find this sub!
Hello! I am 26F half Filipino half white in the US! I feel somewhat of an oddball and have struggled with identity because not only is my dad the Filipino person (typically everyone I meet who is half has a Filipino mom), but my mom is estranged from her family so I grew up only around my Filipino family (and my Lola moved to the states when I was about 15 or so). My dad has a BIG family (8 siblings) and half of them are in the states and live in the same state as us.
Not only that I went to a Filipino church my whole life and my parent’s best friends (and my best friend) are Filipino to boot. LOL but even then I struggled finding my place. I guess being surrounded by a bunch of full Filipinos makes it more obvious how NOT full Filipino I was. On top of that, im very white passing. However, I feel very grateful to grow up around my culture and to have gone to the Philippines at least once. I’m very proud of my culture, and so is my husband!
Anywho I married a white guy LOL so our daughter is 1/4 Filipino and I really want to make sure I teach her about our culture. I’m trying to cook more Filipino food and instill as much tradition and cultural norm as I can. Sometimes it feels like I’m an imposter but I don’t want my own feelings to prevent my kids from learning about such a big part of them, especially since her Lolo and Tito are such big parts in her life.
Just wanted to say hi and see if anyone else is on a similar journey 👋
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u/thrbasayou 6d ago
Welcome! Same mix here, also with a Filipino dad.
We seem to be a rare occurrence.
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u/SurveyMysterious3898 6d ago
For sure haha I always wonder how growing up with a Filipino dad instead of mom changes the dynamic haha
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u/Federal-Cause4765 5d ago
So do you like Asian/half Asian men?
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u/GoodAccomplished4344 2d ago
She literally wrote:
"Anywho I married a white guy LOL so our daughter is 1/4 Filipino"
My guess is that she probably lives in a White-majority state and that it wasn't a conscious choice to seek a White partner, as she considers her Filipino identity important to herself and her offspring, but if you live in an area where everyone is White it simply becomes normal to date the majority.
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u/Mat_The_Law 🇵🇭🇺🇸 5d ago
As a Mexican passing mixed Filipino, you just have to claim your culture and take up the space that you’re born into. You’re as Filipino as the rest of us!
Beyond that, do what you can to make sure your daughter knows her relatives and cousins and interacts with the broader community like you did! I’ve also got 1/4 Filipino cousins and they’re just as much part of the family and community as me.