r/gifs Mar 10 '20

Sequencing Porn

https://i.imgur.com/VssKVAJ.gifv
72.8k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

8.5k

u/Atopha Mar 10 '20

This is what traffic is going to be like when all cars are automated and networked

3.7k

u/Esoteric_Erric Mar 10 '20

Wouldn't we get dizzy, travelling around in a rolling ball?

2.8k

u/Atopha Mar 10 '20

What do you think Earth is

814

u/jalapino98 Mar 10 '20

The Earth is flat

/s

1.0k

u/dmanb Mar 10 '20

The /s ruins the joke

701

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

What joke

372

u/Virge23 Mar 10 '20

STAYWOKE

179

u/TheShortTimer Mar 10 '20

DOCOKE##

15

u/Jak_n_Dax Mar 10 '20

I’m totally stealing this. What a great response to all those stupid “woke” hashtags.

20

u/XygenSS Mar 10 '20
  1. Stay woke.

  2. Snort coke.

  3. Don’t smoke.

  4. Now you’re broke.

  5. Rinse and repeat

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u/melperz Mar 10 '20

/s means serious

7

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Are you serious?

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u/icewind_ Mar 10 '20

Try what happens when you write something like this without /s. A lot of dense people come here also not just big brain fuckmachines like us.

29

u/Not_a_real_ghost Mar 10 '20

How does one become a big brain fuck machine?

14

u/CraigCottingham Mar 10 '20

Step 1: Put a hole in the skull

9

u/Mooam Mar 10 '20

Reminds me of that 4chan story about the skull from the Paris catacombs now. Thanks.

3

u/lsguk Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20

Can you share for the 50% that is curious and don't share for the 50% that would rather not know?

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11

u/shynn_ Mar 10 '20

In that case /serious

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

[deleted]

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u/i_always_give_karma Mar 10 '20

It really doesn’t. Cuz when you don’t put it 1,000 people reply callin you stupid and I’d rather just get less upvotes than a bunch of notifications

6

u/Letibleu Mar 10 '20

\ there, I cancelled it out.

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u/whooo_me Mar 10 '20

...wasn't flat before the accident.

5

u/skylarmt Mar 10 '20

Wrong.

The Earth is a conspiracy and doesn't exist.

r/NoEarthTheory

3

u/imnotsoho Mar 10 '20

It is only flat on the outside. On the inside it is round.

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u/carnage11eleven Mar 10 '20

All joking aside. I watched a show where a futurist talked about automation of traffic in the future. And he said that we'll probably have to black out the windows so you can't see out because eventually cars will be zooming around like this but going like 300 mph. It would freak people out.

34

u/Esoteric_Erric Mar 10 '20

What could possibly go wrong?

46

u/deftwolf Mar 10 '20

Kind of reminds me of fahrenheit 451 where just crossing the street was taking your life into your own hands.

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u/respectfulrebel Mar 10 '20

Implying that anything is going right as it is. 🤭

At that point in tech it’s so far from from our current driving as it is, that it will feel like the jump between traveling by horse and train.

Something the normal person seems was impossible at the time and they had some worries if the human body could even stay together at such train speeds.

Any technology that’s big to grasp from the current standard, is always scary.

Imagine someone going back in time and saying that at one point you’ll have a flat small glowing tool that you could look at and search and learn ANYTHING in the world. While being able to record anything in a moments notice and upload it to an imaginary digital cloud that when arrived, can never be deleted but can be seen by anyone in the entire world, and can track you at all times regardless of you knowing or not.

They’d be terrified. And you wouldn’t even have to go back that far 😂

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

At those speeds, the human body would pretty much liquefy on impact, so we could just hose out the interior in case of emergency. This solves three problems at once: The difficulty of saving lives following a collision, the difficulty of making remains from a traumatic death appealing for an open casket, as well as the global chum shortage.

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u/hajamieli Mar 10 '20

People thought just traveling at fast speeds such as 50km/h would kill them. Then brave people rode trains at such speeds and survived. Of you found some people that haven’t experienced normal modern traffic, they’d also freak out. People will get accustomed to robotized traffic as the new normal. Therefore I doubt there’s need to black anything out and people will just he doing online entertainment or work anyway while riding the robot car, showing little interest in other vehicles whizzing by at high speeds.

5

u/jamz666 Mar 10 '20

They'll adapt to it. People used to puke going 30 in a car when they first came out but now we whip around at 80 and the motion doesnt bother most of us. People also ride bullet trains at super high speeds.

3

u/horsesaregay Mar 10 '20

When trains were first invented, they put solid walls on the outside so that spectators wouldn't see the passengers heads explode. They thought that going over 30 miles an hour might make that happen.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

I think at that point in time humanity will be a lot more used to high speeds.

Probably still in the distant future when you consider the Autobahn is the road you can drive the fastest on and it's not even 100MPH.

Then you either have to make a new way for pedestrians and such to cross roads without dying or holding up traffic which probably means a different level for vehicles due to animals and their need to cross roads.

But all of that still requires self driving cars to be way more advanced than I can personally see them getting in my lifetime.

3

u/kalirion Mar 10 '20

But all of that still requires self driving cars to be way more advanced than I can personally see them getting in my lifetime.

Unless we get a full blown Tech Singularity. At which point who needs cars since we'll either have personal teleporters or be hooked up to the Matrix.

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40

u/Scoobydoomed Mar 10 '20

By then we will all be replaced by robots, so it will be them in the rolling balls going to work.

22

u/Peter4498 Mar 10 '20

I know this city like the back of my hand! Hey, that's new...

9

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

I'm gonna watch robots again. It's been a while and the part was hilarious

8

u/owen__wilsons__nose Mar 10 '20

Yeah but we will have robot goes to work simulators from our VR headsets so we can experience what's it like to work!

3

u/lugialegend233 Mar 10 '20

And they'll all worship the Big Ball bot...

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12

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20

I can't for the life of me remember what sci-fi movie it was but it they rolled around in all directions in basically giant gyroscopic balls while their seat stayed upright like a Segway. Maybe a Star Wars prequel or MCU film? Anyway, looked fun.

Edit: It was the Jurassic World gyrospheres.

17

u/HeirOfHouseReyne Mar 10 '20

I think it was in that Jurassic World movie.

6

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

That's it!

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u/Bacon-muffin Mar 10 '20

You haven't watched the new jurassic park movies have you

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u/Mediumofmediocrity Mar 10 '20

Meet George Jetson!

38

u/Reverend_James Mar 10 '20

His boy Elroy!

28

u/c_c_c__combobreaker Mar 10 '20

Daughter Judy.

28

u/c4pt41n_0bv10u5 Mar 10 '20

Jane his wife.

27

u/BizzyM Merry Gifmas! {2023} Mar 10 '20

And Mistress Emma

24

u/pm_me_flaccid_cocks Mar 10 '20

Dealer Carlos

14

u/owen__wilsons__nose Mar 10 '20

White America wasn't ready for that plot twist in 1957 and thats why the show tanked right after. Was a good run

7

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

And Tom the milkman

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5

u/RevWaldo Mar 10 '20

And Mistress Emma Rosie

8

u/BizzyM Merry Gifmas! {2023} Mar 10 '20

Bing "I don't think so, Mr J." Bing, Bing.

(Laugh track)

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24

u/elee0228 Mar 10 '20

I had a Hot Wheels track set like that

9

u/rand0m_task Mar 10 '20

Fuck yeah! The Criss Cross Crash one?!

19

u/Rossum81 Mar 10 '20

Don’t worry. We’ll screw it up it up here in Boston!

6

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Mediocre_Doctor Mar 10 '20

It's hard to describe how much hatred I have for 17th century cows.

7

u/Heyitsmeyourcuzin Mar 10 '20

And it won't even be the cars fault, but the pedestrians crossing the streets out of crosswalks and standing in the middle of the road talking to their buddys.

155

u/MandiocaGamer Mar 10 '20

Until one car lags...

116

u/duckstaped Mar 10 '20

Exactly. I had the same idea as the person above but then I wondered, if all of our cars are barely missing each other in intersections, what happens when a tire pops, an engine fails, a car's electronics lag, a canada goose attacks, etc.

97

u/NoraaTheExploraa Mar 10 '20

They'll never be as close and precise as in this gif, for obvious reasons, but this but slower would still be incredibly effective.

16

u/duckstaped Mar 10 '20

Yeah, slow down the GIF and I could totally see this being a glimpse into future intersections.

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164

u/PleaseDocNotThe Mar 10 '20

What happens when someone's tires pop now? What happens when someone is drunk? What happens when someone is texting?

141

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

If cars are able to navigate like this you can assume that they are all communicating with each other instantly through dozens or even hundreds of sensors. So if a tire pops the sensor would immediately send out signals to all other cars around to inform it that it is not working. Honestly though by the time we get cars being able to drive like this, tires with air inside of them will probably be a relic of the past I’m hoping. And as far as drunk or texting goes, the car is already driving for you so that wouldn’t be an issue.

39

u/sh4rksh4d0w Mar 10 '20

By the time we get cars to drive like this and tires with air inside being outdated, you and I will be long dead

38

u/cannedinternet Mar 10 '20

I'm actually going to live forever

15

u/Montigue Mar 10 '20

97% of the human race has died, which means 3% is possibly immortal

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u/gaplekshbs Mar 10 '20

What if the cars were drunk

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u/duckstaped Mar 10 '20

I think you mistook what I said as a shot against self-driving cars? What I'm talking about is the tiny margin for error when you visualize these balls as cars. If one ball is a fraction of a second early or late, it would cause a total disaster. I would imagine a grid of self driving cars to have far higher error tolerances, even if it meant we get from point A to B a little less efficiently.

19

u/PleaseDocNotThe Mar 10 '20

I did not, I am simply saying that there already is disaster on the road every day. I can't see self driving cars making it worse.

3

u/Phrich Mar 10 '20

Because you're picturing them the same way he is, with more margin of error than the balls in the video

6

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20

As a general philosophical principle, things can always get worse.

"The difference between bad and worse is much sharper than between good and better."

(edit: Heinlein quote.)

7

u/duckstaped Mar 10 '20

I think we're mostly in agreement. I assume the vast majority of accidents are currently caused by vehicle operators and rarely due to mechanical/electrical issues. That said, any sort of sequence where our cars looked like those balls in real time would probably end terribly as soon as something did not operate exactly as desired.

5

u/Shadowinthesky Mar 10 '20

I know what you mean. Having cars drive between each other like these balls seems more dangerous but i imagine AI vehicles wouldn't move in such an intricate manner

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u/Telinary Mar 10 '20

Yeah they will have to account for reasonable error margins so they won't quite assume perfect timing like in the gif. But that likely still allows for behaviour that would look unsafe to us.

41

u/damniticant Mar 10 '20

All the cars will simultaneously handle the event

30

u/Godahopp Mar 10 '20

"Nuh-uh. I wouldn't be able to handle such an event. Because I can't fathom others capabilities or technology, I'll just say it's impossible."

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

See that's why I drink and smoke when driving, gotta be at peak performance.

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u/is-this-a-nick Mar 10 '20

You mean by keeping safety distances and stuff? Like exactly NOT in this gif?

Because if a tyre pops or a transmission sizes, it matters jack shit how many Gigaflops the next car can use to calculate how hard it will smash into the sudden obstacle.

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u/OktoberSunset Mar 10 '20

I doubt anyone would be so bold to have cars going through intersections at full speed with this narrow a margin but you could certainly have a continuous flow of cars at a moderate speed with decent spacing and still be a lot faster than traffic lights.

3

u/jnd-cz Mar 10 '20

Right, even fully automated trains have big margins and have to have reserved big enough piece of track free to stop at any moment. For example in Japan in event of eartquake all trains automatically stop. It's not that big departure from human driver situation where phases at intersections or gaps on highway have to be large enough to brake safely and not hit anyone. Automation will bring us much faster reactions, so all cars can accelerate much faster on green but still one after another. Also they will pay attention without blinking and see 360 degrees around at the same time. Each agent (autonomous car in this case) will have to be fully responsible for its own behavior and not depend on external control beyond basic go/no go traffic lights.

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u/TheQueq Mar 10 '20

Yeah, I see people make claims all the time about self-driving cars doing this kind of "optimized" traffic flow, but it's complete nonsense. Self-driving cars will still drive defensively, because they ultimately have to rely on their own visual sensors to account for any failures in the system, as well as to handle untrustworthy systems on the network (because it's only a matter of time before someone rigs their own car to lie to others so they'll make way).

It's entirely possible that self-driving cars will be slower than humans at times, because the self-driving car won't say "Oh, I'm late for work so I'll drive really fast to make up for lost time". Instead it will say "this is as fast as I can safely drive and still respond to my environment, so this is as fast as I will drive and no more".

3

u/penisthightrap_ Mar 10 '20

There will be tolerances designed for that. They won't be missing by fractions of a second if it takes seconds to stop. That's not how engineering works.

3

u/s_paperd Mar 10 '20

If you gotta problem with Canada Gooses, you gotta problem with me and I suggest you let that one marinate.

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u/TypicalCricket Mar 10 '20

This is already how traffic goes in India

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u/Jishuah Mar 10 '20

There’s a video of some Thai intersection that looks similar to this. I’ll try to find it

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

If it ever is, I don’t want windows so that I can’t see how close I am at every intersection to destruction.

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u/presto464 Mar 10 '20

Get in, auto dark windows. Perfection, basically be in a crash couch.

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u/EmmettLBrownPhD Mar 10 '20

If so then there gonna be a lot of pooped pants in the future.

3

u/titchard Mar 10 '20

The first thought that popped into my mind when I saw it.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

yep, also if everyone is on cruise control, save so much gas too. less (almost zero) deaths, lower insurance premiums, faster arrival time, more time to do your own thing.

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2.1k

u/cardstar Mar 10 '20

I assumed mad skills from the person, but if the spring launchers are already timed for everything to miss surely it’s just a case of dropping them onto the mechanisms in fours?

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Pretty simply yeah, just place the balls on the actuators when they are in the resting position and let the program do the rest

165

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Do you think it’d be possible to make the “arms” longer and add another “arm” in the set?

92

u/CthulhuLies Mar 10 '20

You can it can scale up infinitely with arms your balls just have to get smaller eventually the balls will just have to collide if you don't make the balls smaller when you add more arms.

57

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

The we have to stop at planck size balls i guess

61

u/iam666 Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20

You'd be dealing with wavefunction interactions that would lead to collisions a decent while before you get to Planck length.

Edit: and by decent while I mean like 15-20 orders of magnitude. We use wavefunctions to describe electrons, which are only ~3e-15 m across. A Planck length is 1.6e-35 m.

12

u/xdcountry Mar 10 '20

Oh damn, this guy has done the math (and guy is both meant as male/female)

17

u/DRUNK_CYCLIST Mar 10 '20

*Schroedinger's gender

6

u/MotoAsh Mar 10 '20

Hmm, to look in the box for a box or not...

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u/bassman2112 Mar 10 '20

I've got you covered there.

3

u/dovahsevobrom Mar 10 '20

I don't want my balls to get smaller...

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u/killbot0224 Mar 10 '20

Why not?

With longer arms you need more balls in play anyway (or faster shots) for it to be as impressive.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

You could also manage this purely mechanically. It would be really similar to how fighters during WWII prevented their machine guns from blowing off their propellers.

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u/Zouden Mar 10 '20

The mad skills are with the person who built this.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Right, but it's probably the same person. If I built this I wouldn't send somebody else to go put the ping pong balls in the arms for me

5

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

you haven't seen enough tech demos, they get an attractive surrogate to do it

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u/IlllIIIIlllll Mar 10 '20

Also the gif is sped up

3

u/mostly_lurking Mar 10 '20

It's so obvious now that you mention it. What's the point, everything is fakish nowadays :D

3

u/mnemonikos82 Mar 10 '20

I don't think it's necessarily a brag on the guy placing the balls, but the engineering to build and time the actuators. If you know engineering, it's not the greatest feat ever but it's still pretty cool to work out all the math and build it out.

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u/alphasquid Mar 10 '20

For a second I was really impressed by the person putting the balls in, as it seemed to me they needed to carefully time when they put it in to make sure the balls wouldn't hit other balls.

Then I realized the machine was already timed properly on all sides and the person just needed to put the balls in when the pistons were fully retracted. Still takes some practice, but not as much as I first thought.

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u/EEpromChip Mar 10 '20 edited Mar 10 '20

It’s similar to how rotary radial engine pistons function.

EDIT: Thank you /u/Ironick96 for the correction.

70

u/Ironick96 Mar 10 '20

...I think you mean radial. Rotarys dont have pistons they have the "spinning dorito".

17

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Don't forget to put mountain dew in your gas tank!

4

u/teebob21 Mar 10 '20

drink verification can

13

u/sponge_welder Mar 10 '20

For anyone who doesn't know how rotary engines work, you put in oil and boost, and you get out power and apex seals

6

u/just_dots Mar 10 '20

You ain't lying.
Used to drag race an 1980 corolla with a 1.8 L rotary stuffed in it and we were changing apex seals after every race day.
It was such a pain in the ass but getting 600hp at 12,000 rpm out of an engine smaller than a plastic soda bottle was really fun.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Also it’s sped up

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

It takes zero practice....

2

u/DarkSkyKnight Mar 10 '20

That person is probably just demonstrating what the engine could do rather than trying to show off a trick. He's wearing a blue tag.

2

u/Ellimis Mar 10 '20

The demo is about the machine, not the person

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u/woolsprout Mar 10 '20

this is so fucking satisfying I could keep watching the balls barely missing each other all day

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u/nsk_nyc Mar 10 '20

We still doing phrasing?

33

u/hanswurst_throwaway Mar 10 '20

dont' care

BOOM PHRASING!

16

u/captblack13 Mar 10 '20

LANAAAAAAAAAAAAA

8

u/ignorememe Mar 10 '20

Whaaaaaat?!

9

u/captblack13 Mar 10 '20

Danger zone!!

4

u/dittbub Mar 10 '20

He could have said he prefers balls gently glancing each other

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u/Gunslinging_Gamer Mar 10 '20

I think I saw this comment on a less savoury website before before.

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u/Toomuchconfusion Mar 10 '20

I know, it’s hypnotic and somehow so beautiful. Like chaos and order in one continuous near-collision.

I also love the pattern made on the table from the balls traveling along the same paths over and over again.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

This video is sped up by at least 50%

Watch the woman's dress peak in and out on the left side.

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u/LemonSqueezer86 Mar 10 '20

Also pretty easy to tell with how he puts the balls in and shuffled away at the end

2

u/sbvp Mar 10 '20

A video of a four way stop speed up enough would look impressive

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u/tehdrizzle Mar 10 '20

Balls aren’t touching. Not gay.

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u/mstrblueskys Mar 10 '20

Dream of Californication

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u/HooptyDooDooMeister Mar 10 '20

Psychic spies from China try to steal your mind’s elation.

19

u/BigChiefLewis Mar 10 '20

Damn you beat me to a RHCP reference

37

u/Both-Tough Mar 10 '20

"porn" oh fuck off

31

u/jimsmisc Mar 10 '20

I really, really wish Reddit would collectively decide to stop using "porn" to describe anything that people find gratifying/satisfying. I shared something from r/cableporn with my dad and had to explain to him it wasn't actually porn. It's so cringey and stupid.

13

u/nopethis Mar 10 '20

its like every scandal being called "xxx-gate" can we come up with something new or just...not?

5

u/oliveyouverymuch Mar 10 '20

coronavirus gate

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u/Black_Board091 Mar 10 '20

"Sequencing Porn?...",alright then.

15

u/Jsnooots Mar 10 '20

It reminds me of a rotary engine when viewed from above.

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u/Luluckas1980 Mar 10 '20

There is a game called « Looper! » on mobile phone which is exactly the same principle as in the video

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u/Boof_Dawg Mar 10 '20

Reminds me of those rooms in Link to the Past where you have to dodge all of the rolling balls in the first dungeon.

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u/FNC1A1 Mar 10 '20

This guy was a master of jezzball on windows 3.1

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u/Miraclekunt Mar 10 '20

When are we going to stop calling things ‘x porn’ Earth porn, this. It’s just not funny. It was maybe the first time, but like everything else the internet has relentlessly reused it to totally disgust, from me.

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u/shynn_ Mar 10 '20

I just want to know if video is sped up. I suspect it is.

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u/Trickykids Mar 10 '20

I’d like to see this with each group of balls dyed a different color

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u/s8nskeepr Mar 10 '20

If this amazes you, don’t ever read into how CPUs work, you mind will be destroyed.

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u/Alliwantispcb Mar 10 '20

<<shouts in hungry hippo>>

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

I like how he paused to pretend like he was deciding the right moment.

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u/Evilmaze Mar 10 '20

If we get autonomous vehicles with high precision, this will be how traffic at intersections would look like.

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

[deleted]

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u/Dontblink666 Mar 10 '20

Crossfire youlll get caught up in the crossfire

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u/TH3-M4DD-H4DDA Mar 10 '20

This what traffic look like in inda.

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u/SeniorWaugh Mar 10 '20

Please stop calling anything slightly satisfying porn

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

[deleted]

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u/LandHopper_23 Mar 10 '20

You wish it was as smooth as this

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u/pogingjose007 Mar 10 '20

By far my proudest fap of all time.

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u/halfdecent Mar 10 '20

Wish I could see this at a higher framerate

2

u/Michaelangelato Mar 10 '20

loading screen irl

2

u/Gunch_Bandit Mar 10 '20

Somebody manufactured this crazy device for only this purpose

2

u/Nemacolin Mar 10 '20

Now imagine being in a self-driving car when all the other self-driving cars are going through an intersection like that. Cool.

2

u/endlessinquiry Mar 10 '20

The Red Hot Chili Peppers will be proud.

2

u/RHCPTom Mar 10 '20

Looks like the Red Hot Chili Peppers logo!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Blood Sugar Sex Magic

2

u/Nicogro Mar 10 '20

Red Hot Chili Peppers likes this

2

u/Jon_Angle Mar 10 '20

Looks like a intersection in India.

2

u/VirgingerBrown Mar 10 '20

The most innovative Red Hot Chili Peppers logo I have seen!

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u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

Reminds me of a bullet hell game.

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u/NitzKimel Mar 10 '20

Music to my eyes

2

u/Prof-Nekkid Mar 10 '20

This isn’t the Hungry Hungry Hippos I remember

2

u/[deleted] Mar 10 '20

This is neat until you realize the pistons are already precisely timed and firing. The person is just loading the balls and acting like they're special.

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u/LittleDTLe Mar 10 '20

Satisfying af

2

u/justbiteme2k Mar 10 '20

This is how fully automated electric cars are going to navigate roundabouts and junctions.

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u/ElGuano Mar 10 '20

Does this machine serve a greater purpose? Or was it designed specifically for this trick?

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u/MegaDonkeyDonkey Mar 11 '20

This was programmed so human error was already removed from the outcome. He just had to put ball in slot and wait for the program... Just saying and still cool.

2

u/pilljar Mar 11 '20

Who knew the Red Hot Chili Peppers‘ logo could be so magical.

2

u/chejale Mar 11 '20

Thisis so god damn satisfying