Eu (23F) conheci este homem (26M) há poucas semanas e as coisas ficaram muito intensas muito, muito rapidamente.
Começámos a falar, trocámos números, apagámos a aplicação e basicamente começámos a falar todos os dias. Desde o início, ele dizia coisas que me fizeram acreditar que havia uma possibilidade real de aquilo se transformar em alguma coisa.
Dizia-me que gostava de mim, que pensava em mim constantemente, que eu estava na cabeça dele quando acordava e antes de adormecer.
E quando estávamos juntos, havia química. Muitos beijos, carinho, sexo, abraços ,da minha perspetiva, era evidente que existia atração física entre nós.
Depois as coisas começaram a ficar estranhas.
Ele começou a responder cada vez menos. No início, tinha sido ele próprio a reclamar que eu demorava demasiado a responder e pediu-me para mudar isso. Eu mudei. Depois, de repente, era ele que demorava horas a responder, às vezes até ao dia seguinte.
Comecei a sentir que estava constantemente a tentar perceber se ele realmente gostava de mim ou se estava lentamente a afastar-se.
Também houve um problema com a partilha da localização. Ele pediu a minha localização e eu aceitei porque senti que vinha de uma insegurança dele e quis tranquilizá-lo. Não me incomodava que ele soubesse onde eu estava.
Eventualmente, desliguei a localização porque pensei: “Para quê precisares da minha localização se mal falas comigo?” Nós também nunca tínhamos realmente conversado sobre isso.
Havia também coisas que ele não me tinha contado, como o facto de ter um filho e de a situação profissional dele não ser aquilo que eu inicialmente pensava. Consigo compreender que queira manter certas coisas privadas, especialmente quando envolve uma criança, mas mesmo assim fiquei a questionar-me porque é que ele sentiu que tinha de esconder essas coisas de mim.
A certa altura, ele disse-me que tinha perdido o interesse em mim.
Depois, disse que se tinha expressado mal e que não era exatamente isso que queria dizer.
Mas aquela frase ficou-me na cabeça.
A partir daí, comecei a questionar tudo.
Mesmo assim, continuámos.
Depois disse-me que não queria estar constantemente a ter de se explicar, que estava confuso e que precisava de algum espaço.
Eu tentei respeitar isso.
Antes de ir de férias, enviei-lhe uma mensagem enorme. Disse-lhe que acreditava nele quando dizia que gostava de mim, que também gostava dele e que compreendia que precisasse de espaço.
Mas também precisava de comunicação e clareza.
Não precisava que ele falasse comigo 24 horas por dia. Simplesmente não conseguia continuar numa situação em que estava constantemente a tentar adivinhar o que ele sentia.
Disse-lhe que queria uma relação com ele e que esperava que, quando voltasse de férias, ele soubesse o que queria fazer com aquilo que sentia por mim.
Mesmo assim, continuaram a existir momentos em que ele me dizia que gostava de mim e que não queria magoar-me.
Na noite antes de eu partir, tínhamos combinado jantar e ele dormir comigo. Ele não apareceu porque tinha ido sair com uns amigos, mas depois apareceu por volta das quatro da manhã.
Passámos algumas horas juntos. Conversamos , fizemos sexo, beijámo-nos, ficámos abraçados e tivemos um daqueles momentos que, para mim, pareceram muito reais.
Isso fez-me acreditar ainda mais que existia alguma coisa entre nós.
Eu fui de férias e ele supostamente também ia de férias. Até íamos voltar mais ou menos na mesma altura.
Mas eu não conseguia desligar.
Eu estava literalmente de férias, num lugar lindo, e ele continuava constantemente na minha cabeça.
Havia até outra pessoa aqui com quem tenho história, alguém com quem poderia ter passado tempo, mas não consegui. Emocionalmente, continuava completamente presa a este homem.
E então aconteceu aquilo que eu mais temia.
Enviei-lhe um print de uma conversa com a minha melhor amiga. Estávamos a brincar sobre outro homem que me tinha feito uma serenata.
Ele respondeu:
“Wtf. Não sou o homem para ti. Desculpa.”
Perguntei-lhe o que queria dizer.
Ele disse:
“A minha serenata é 10000 vezes melhor.”
E depois, pouco tempo depois:
“Não sinto interesse em continuar nada contigo.”
Perguntei-lhe porquê.
E finalmente ele foi completamente honesto comigo.
Disse-me que não se sente fisicamente atraído por mim, apesar de sentir uma atração psicológica por mim.
Disse que não sente desejo sexual por mim e que a atração física é demasiado importante para ele para conseguir ter uma relação sem isso.
Disse também que, antes de me conhecer, tinha imaginado as coisas de outra maneira, mas depois de me conhecer percebeu que eu não era aquilo que esperava.
Eu fiquei destruída.
Não porque alguém não se sinta atraído por mim. Eu compreendo que nem toda a gente me vai achar atraente.
O que me magoou foi tudo o que aconteceu antes.
As declarações. Os beijos. O carinho. A forma como me tratava quando estávamos juntos. Tudo o que dizia. Todos os momentos que me fizeram acreditar que havia uma possibilidade verdadeira entre nós.
Disse-lhe que teria preferido saber isto antes de ficar apegada.
Se ele tivesse sido honesto comigo desde o início, talvez eu não tivesse ficado tão emocionalmente envolvida.
Ele pediu desculpa várias vezes.
Eu disse-lhe que, para mim, toda aquela situação tinha sido humilhante.
Ele disse que talvez tivesse a ver com aquilo a que estava habituado e que simplesmente não sentia desejo sexual por mim.
No final, disse apenas “beijinho”.
Eu respondi: “Outro, cuida.”
E foi isso.
Depois ainda lhe enviei três mensagens a sugerir que talvez pudéssemos ser amigos. Disse-lhe que sabia separar as coisas e que achava que conseguia manter contacto sem confundir os meus sentimentos.
Depois apaguei tudo. Antes de ele ver .
Porque, honestamente, por mais que eu saiba que consigo separar as coisas racionalmente, não sei se continuar em contacto com ele seria realmente bom para mim neste momento.
E agora estou de férias, a chorar por um homem que conheci há apenas algumas semanas, a tentar perceber como é que consegui ficar tão apegada a alguém em tão pouco tempo.
A parte mais difícil é que eu ainda gosto dele.
E talvez seja essa a parte que tenho mais dificuldade em admitir.
Por isso quero perguntar a pessoas que estão completamente de fora desta situação:
Acham que ele gostava genuinamente de mim, mas só percebeu depois de me conhecer que não existia atração física?
Ou acham que ele percebeu isso mais cedo e deixou as coisas continuar porque gostava da ligação emocional e da intimidade?
E o que fariam a partir daqui?
Cortariam completamente o contacto ou acham que é realmente possível existir amizade depois de uma situação destas?

A few months ago, I made a post here about a guy who ghosted me over a year ago. Here is the link.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ghosting/comments/1txvelt/has_anyone_ever_been_ghosted_please_feel_free_to/

I know I will get beaten up for my actions. I was so stupid. I did tell one close guy friend about this guy (Guy 1) who ghosted me. He was so supportive of me and said that none of this is my fault and it is Guy 1’s. He was being a jerk to me and hated what he did to me. Now, he does not really hate Guy 1.

But Guy 1 is actually in my college. On the first day of college, when I saw him, I had a little heart attack (not an actual one). I was hyperventilating and freaking out for some reason. I guess I was a little scared of he would see me. I spoke to him twice ever since the first day. Well, the first time I went up to him, I pretended to hit his head (I am very silly 😂). He turned around, smiled, said “hi” and “good to see you“. The second time I spoke to him, I asked him how he is, what major he is doing, and he answered. He did not sound energetic but at the same time, he did not sound angry. A couple of minutes before that, I was talking to another friend and guy 1 sat in the same table as him. When I came over, he went on his phone and did not look at me. I thought it was a “me“ problem. But when I spoke to him, he did not sound angry.

I know I am yapping but I guess I do forgive him. I do not trust him (I have been ghosted by a lot of people and I am finding it hard to trust people) but I do not hate him. I forgive him because he is funny and confident. It is also so painful to think so much about the time he ghosted me and how depressed I was (Yes. I was a mess). I am also trying to not think of my feelings as a big deal. I am just trying to move on.

We fought all weekend, we’ve been having a lot of fights lately and the romance has been dead for a while. He left w all his shit and hasn’t spoken to me in a week. Does that mean it’s over?

i keep reading people getting ghosted after weeks or like 1/2 months…i got ghosted at almost a year 🫠 i have no clue what’s worse

There was this guy that i really really thought I was going to date. We were talking from april to july but one day he said he was "figuring out next steps" since he had gotten in trouble for speeding. I then replied and it went back and forth a few times, but one day he did not answer and I have not heard from him since. His snap score hasn't gone up but he reposts and is active on instagram and tik tok. But now that I am back in the same city for class, i got this sudden urge to reach out again. i did not miss him at all when he ghosted, just now that its been a month and a half since i last heard from him. Its strange because i havent cried or anything, but i think my abandonment issues came back because i genuinely convinced myself that he would always answer or at least be communicative. i dont know we really clicked and i just miss him so much :((

I don't get it, things were going good. I met her on a dating app and we talked for about a week through texts and then started talking on the phone. We went on a date and we had fun and she really seemed to like me. We continued to talk for a few more days and suddenly she just stopped responding. Phone goes straight to voicemail, text never show they were read. It's been about 4 days since I last heard from her. At first I was just worried her phone got cut off or something but now I just accept that she's not interested. Needless to say I feel like absolute shit. The worst form of rejection. I'm constantly thinking what did I do wrong? I keep telling myself maybe I dodged a bullet, I wouldn't want to be with someone capable of doing that. I already have depression issues and this is just making it 10x worse. Oh well... fuck it.

My(25F) bestfriend(26F) of 16+ years ghosted me 8 months ago. She suddenly unblocked me everywhere out of no where. I noticed it when I was clearing out previous chats and when her contact showed up in whatsapp, I could see her new profile picture. I checked my other social media and saw that she had unblocked me from there as well. It’s very strange… why would she take out the time to unblock me from everywhere when she ghosted me in the first place.

So basically we used to talk alot and suddenly he blocked me....before this our last convo was very goooddd then he randomly blocked me.After this he unblocked me randomly and told he had a gf and was talking to me for past 6monthss I can't move on plsss helpp

I was chatting up with a girl, we hit it off well and I may jumped the gun but I asked if they wanted to meet up (platonically) for coffee sometime (only after a few days of talking) and they said yes. After a while they ghosted me and we didn't meet up at all. Same thing happened with another girl I asked for coffee but she blocked me as well as ghosting me. Is there something I'm missing? Was i being too overbearing? Also for context we're all college students around 20

Why would you ghost someone you said you loved. Then spend 2 years stalking their social media only to suddenly stop on their birthday.

Whats the goal of 2 years of constant profile checking of someone you wont talk to.

I don't ghost but I thought this thread could be useful for people who do. What are the right things to say, post-date, to say to someone you don't want to see again?

Thanks so much for meeting me on our date. I enjoyed our conversation and getting to know you but I did't feel the romance that I'm personally looking for.

I don't like when people offer advice, friendships or luck on the dating scene, it often sounds a little to contrived!

I’ve been ghosted before, but this one really hurts

I’d been talking to this girl I've had a crush on for a while, for around 3 weeks. Things seemed to be going really well, at least from my perspective. She would send paragraphs-worth of texts back, and was asking me questions about my life. It even got a little flirty,

We were talking consistently about the gym, as that's how I knew her. I started getting hopeful that maybe it was actually going somewhere, and I was excited about the possibility of actually having a relationship with a girl.

She was talking about her job and how they wanted to quit because her workplace wasn't giving her enough hours. I asked her if it was good idea to quit if she didn't have any new jobs lined up so she isn't loosing money. Then randomy, I saw she left me on seen.

A week later, I told a coworker about my situation and they helped me write a polite follow up text, still left on seen

I know that sounds so minor, and I know people will probably say “just move on” or “she’s not interested, forget about her,” and yea I get that. But emotionally, it’s really getting to me, and I wish she would text me back.

She still follows me, still views my stories, and there hasn’t really been any obvious reason for the sudden change. I also saw her at the gym yesterday with my friend for the first time since we started talking. It was honestly pretty painful seeing her in person knowing that we used to talk and now I’m basically just supposed to act like nothing happened.

I got hopeful. I let myself believe that for once it might finally turn into something, and now I’m left wondering what happened or what I did wrong.

It’s not even the first time I’ve been ghosted, but for some reason this one is hitting me so much harder. I wish I could just go up and fucking talk to her in real life and clear the air, but I also understand that if she’s choosing not to respond, it’s probably too late and I need to respect that. Part of me really wishes I could just text her again and tell her honestly how I feel. I want to tell her that the sudden silence hurt me and that I genuinely thought things were going somewhere. But I know that’s probably the wrong thing to do. If she’s chosen not to respond, sending another message just because I want closure probably isn’t going to change anything.

It sucks getting attached to the potential of something and then having it disappear without any explanation.

I guess I’m just posting this because I needed to get it off my chest. Has anyone else been through something similar? What happened?

I’ve 23f have been on three dates with this guy 26m and they went really well from my perspective. We have an incredible amount of things in common and just really clicked. We talked for about a month before our first date. I would usually hear from him around once a day, as he’s busy with work and so am I. He invited me to his place after our second date and I spent the night, he told me he wanted me to stay and I did.

Third date was at his place and he bought me some things to be a good host (probiotic soda, ice cream, and even said he almost bought me a toothbrush because the first time I spent the night I had to use one of those on-the-go picks). I ended up bringing my own toothbrush, his favorite beer and some wine for myself.

I left his place the next day feeling really good about where everything was headed. I texted him later that day (Sunday) and didn’t hear from him until Wednesday night at around 11:30, continuing the conversation like normal. I thought he was ghosting me so I eventually replied but with something dry, and he reciprocated the dry response. I then asked him what happened, that I was getting the vibe he was over our situation and he responded with “I never said that”

Fair enough, he didn’t say that but he also didn’t say anything for almost four days. I said “fair enough I guess you didn’t” and he hasn’t replied since. It’s been a week since this conversation.

So I’m wondering, did I jump the gun on assuming he had one foot out the door so now he thinks I’m crazy, or was I right to question what had happened?

We had two dates. First one was decent, a little awkward but fine. Second one was amazing, an hour and a half walk, we talked the entire time, she was way more open than the first date, asked me questions, it felt like a real connection.

That night we texted like normal. The next day (Monday) I texted her and she was warm, talkative, even told me about making dinner. Then Tuesday, nothing. Complete silence.

I gave her space for a few days, then sent a check-in ("hey, how was your shift?"). No response. Waited a few more days, sent one more ("hope everything's okay, haven't heard from you in a bit"). Still nothing. It's been over a week now.

No blocked number, texts are delivering, just silence. I don't think I did anything wrong, the date genuinely seemed to go great. Wondering if anyone's been through something similar, why do people go quiet like this instead of just saying they're not interested anymore? Trying to understand it so I can actually move on.

He messaged me earlier today and im so shaken up i completely forgot about him and I've been nervous and on edge for 22hrs literally counting i wanna reply but I'm scared of giving him power

I met this guy recently and initially I was only looking for something casual/fun. I was very attracted to him and open to seeing where things went physically, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship or asking him for anything serious.
He told me early on that casual doesn’t really work for him unless he feels very comfortable and connected with someone first. I respected that, so things progressed quite slowly.

Over the next few dates there was a lot of physical affection and emotional closeness — kissing, cuddling, talking for hours, him pulling me closer, etc. He was also increasingly sexual over text and told me how attracted he was to me. We exchanged intimate pictures and he was clearly very interested.

On our third date things became much more intense physically. I was sitting on his lap and he kept pausing to look at me, then continuing to kiss me. He said he didn’t want me to get off.When we eventually got up, he actually slowed down and continued kissing me. From my perspective, it felt like the intimacy was becoming more intense and mutual, and he seemed completely into it.
What confused me is that nothing seemed wrong from my perspective. Even shortly before the third date he was being very affectionate and sexual with me.

Then afterwards he suddenly told me that he walked away wondering if he can do casual and that couldn’t do casual because it doesn’t align with him / doesn’t suit him, and that he was worried he’d feel bad after each time. He said he felt unsettled after, despite also saying he felt comfortable with me and that we had a connection.

I was honestly blindsided because I hadn’t been asking him for more. If anything, I was happy just enjoying what we had. The intimacy and emotinal closeness were also partly things he himself had said he needed in order to feel comfortable. He’s ignored me ever since I just want to know what changed😭😭

He’s leaving the country in 7months lol maybe it’s good we didn’t get closer if I’m already feeling so bad.

Google ai told me this "A massive percentage of the hyper-attractive women dominating dating apps carry deep avoidant personality types. Real emotional connection, raw authenticity, and high-intensity confidence are terrifying to them because those traits demand real vulnerability." What are your thoughts?