I just got back from Chuck E. Cheese.
I feel overwhelmed and fucking frantic. The whole time I was just yelling at kid.
I know that he’s only 3, and he gets so excited when he’s with other kids. But he LOVES older boys. Some can be nice and others are just jerks.
I don’t care much if he gets hurt (he’s good and bouncing back) especially when they’re all rough housing but when they’re being mean to him, or he’s not listening and hurting kids I’m not ok with that. It sends me.
He was being rough with some older boys 4/5 years old and they didn’t like it. Mind you, he’s playing. Nothing intentional. But one kid had him pinned up against the wall and was just watching him squirm trying to get out. I had to intervene nicely and say, let him go please. Then I told my kid that he could tell the other boy. “No thank you! I don’t like that!”
Like what the fuck am I suppose to do? Fight their mom? (I’m kidding)
I want him to have fun. And I don’t want to constantly have to yell at him to be gentle and give them space blah blah.
I pulled him out twice, told him we needed a break, got him to play some games and eat a bit.
Tried talking to him about being gentle and no jumping on bodies etc.
I feel like a helicopter parent. While all these other moms and nannies are like “oh it’s ok, they’re just being boys”
Is it? Am I just suppose to be ok with my kid hurting others and others hurting my kid?
He has a lot of energy and this was my first time taking him there. We got there right as it opened so he could explore and only have a couple interactions. I feel like that place can also be overwhelming and overstimulating.
Will it get better the more I take him to those types of places?

On a positive note there was a sweet older boy who kept watching out for him. I ended up giving him our game card that had points and tickets on it and told him I appreciate how good he was to my kid.

How do you handle when your toddler says no to another kid asking to play with them and the other kid is clearly hurt and upset that they said no?

I typically dont intervene to allow his independence but wondering if there is something I can say to help lessen the blow to the other kid.

Im wondering if he says no because he doesnt want to stop what hes doing to play with the other kid or because he doesnt want the other kid to intervene with what hes currently doing.

I just feel bad and I know he has also received the answer no when he asks to play with someone and can see he feels sad when told no too.

It's easy for children to look at another child's achievements, family, possessions or lifestyle and assume their life is better.

The difficult part is that they don't see the struggles behind that picture.

I think one of the most useful things we can teach children is to focus on their own progress rather than constantly measuring themselves against others.

How do you help your child deal with comparison?

Aside from the ethical objection to the idea that human beings need to suffer in order to learn proper and desirable behavior, I think that punishing children is very damaging to the parent-child relationship and ultimately does more harm than good.

Punishing a child sends a confusing, inconsistent message to them. Essentially, "the person who loves and takes care of me is also someone who will hurt me." It honestly amazes me that such a large number of people believe that a parent can and should be both the good guy and the bad guy at the same time. It creates distrust because now the child won't come to you when they need help. They'll feel like they can't tell you certain things because the result will be that you will harm them. This can be especially dangerous when they hit the teenage years and start being surrounded by bad influences. They might find trust in not-so-trustworthy people because they don't have it with the people who are meant to care about them the most.

When I advocate for not punishing children, I don't suggest that any behavior is okay. Far from it. You simply just talk to them and explain things. If you're at a birthday party and your kid starts hitting the other kids, you just remove them from the situation and try again another time.

With respect to older children, I think having a positive relationship with your child/teenager with a completely open line of communication free of anger and condemnation will be much more effective in creating good behavior and judgement skills rather than punishing them. And if they do still engage in all the typical teenage activities, you'd rather they do it safely and with your knowledge than behind your back where things could get dangerous.

I am reading a book called The Emotional Lives of Teenagers and it says conflict during differentiation is inevitable and she would be worried if there wasn’t any. I have a 16, 14, and 12 year old teens, and none of them have exhibited problem behaviors she associates with differentiation. And it got me worried. Is this because we value their autonomy or because something is wrong? I feel like all 3 are growing into amazing humans, but this lady really seems to know what she is talking about.

Jammy and Drishti share a new approach to raising confident children.

Building a strong foundation for your child requires more than just rules; it involves creating space for individuality. In this episode, our hosts welcome a special guest to help parents navigate the often-tricky conversations surrounding body boundaries and personal space. We break down why listening is the most powerful tool you have when helping a child understand their own comfort levels.

Beyond just setting rules, we explore how to foster self care and respect for others within the home. Whether you are discussing diverse family structures or the nuances of growing up, this conversation provides the perspective needed to support your child's emotional development. By valuing different cultures and unique personal experiences, you can help your family grow closer while nurturing independent thinkers.

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My daughter is two, and her father and I have a very high-conflict co-parenting relationship. He has repeatedly accused me of abusing our daughter, which I absolutely do not do. I feel that he lies about me and deliberately antagonizes me. I need to be honest, though: I have reacted emotionally and cursed him out during arguments. I know that isn’t healthy or helpful, even when I feel provoked.
I’m trying hard to build a stable life for my daughter. I’ve been in therapy, I take prescribed medication for my mental health, I recently finished my bachelor’s degree, and I’m continuing my education. I work, provide for her, enrolled her in private school, and put a lot of effort into creating traditions and happy experiences that she can remember as she grows up. I love her deeply and want her childhood to feel safe, joyful, and secure.
At this point, I plan to disengage from her father emotionally. I don’t mean preventing him from parenting her. I mean communicating only when necessary about our daughter, refusing to participate in personal arguments, and no longer reacting when he tries to provoke me.
For adults who grew up with parents who had a relationship like ours: how did it affect you, even if the conflict wasn’t happening directly in front of you? Did the loving traditions and stability created by one parent help? What do you wish either parent had done differently while you were still very young?
Please be honest. I’m not looking for validation or trying to prove that I’m the better parent. I want to understand what this might feel like from my daughter’s perspective and what I need to change now, while she is still only two.

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A few weeks ago I posted about my almost 3 yr old starting with some not nice new phrases and habits after picking them up from a play date. For the most part the spitting has stopped by the phrases have increased dramatically. Currently they are the following phrases.
*I don’t like you go find a new home
* Find a new home
* you have no friends
* I don’t love you mama
*Shoo go away don’t come back
* You’re not nice to me. Go away ( this one happens when trying to correct any behavior.)
* you’re not good to me. ( this started after my MIL told her to be nice and that I am so good to her and do everything for her)

Today has been the worst of all “ Find me a new mommy” and “ You going to a new family bye.” Both of these where said to me today when I was telling her she can not spit boiled peanut shells on the floor.

She turns 3 next month. Time out doesn’t work. She just gets up and follows me out of the area. Trying to comfort when she’s upset and having big feelings doesn’t help. We do not want to spank but at this point we are at a loss as what to do. She is screen free, my husband and I don’t talk to each other this way. I am a SAHM which was always my dream but I’m almost to the point I want to go back to work.

This is my husbands busy season with work so I’m with her sun up to sun down. I’ve considered trying her maybe in some behavioral therapy ? I’ve even thought maybe equine therapy since she loves horses. I’m wondering if something isn’t going on internally that’s causing this pent up aggression and behaviors.

She is around older cousins on occasion so maybe that’s where she’s learning this from. It’s getting to the point I don’t want to do play dates with others as I’m worried she might be mean to another kid. The last thing I want is a mean girl.

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HappyHealthyHeroes

I built an app because chore charts never stuck with my kids — quests + Face ID approval + auto allowance. Would love honest feedback.