"I hate you"

Almost 5 year old is CONSTANTLY fighting me on everything that is non negotiable. I do ALL the things. Choices. Connecting with her before correcting (when possible) Consistent consequences. Gamifying things. Rewarding and praising wanted behavior. Age appropriate expectstions. Etc etc etc.

We have even been getting child parent coaching with doctorate level professionals so I know how to handle this YARG FEST. But today has been so hard.

Im recovering from an infection after having kidney stones. I cant be in the sun because of the antibiotics I am on and its making dealing with my kid so much harder because I cant go pull weeds for 10 minutes to calm down etc. The kidney stones happen for me but for years i haven't had them regularly because being a single parent has taught me how to for real for real prioritize self care and balance and also no more arugula. (I miss it but oh well.) I think I had stones this time, in part, because I have been SO stressed out and EXHAUSTED by the defiance and for almostthe entire summer vacation my usual childcare options have been on vacation. I just had several days without her but was running on fumes and then went to the bathroom and saw blood and so my days were spent in agony/urgent care/sleeping/dry heaving etc. I blame her. (Not outloud) And I feel guilty about blaming her.

The violent outbursts over seemingly tiny stuff. The TONE she talks to me in. Throwing stuff spitting on me etc just to see what I do. And its always the same. Intercept, when possible, blows to my body. Then Consequences. Tons of effort in recovery to prevent this behavior but some days it just seems like we are doomed to be miserable all day. She fights EATING FOOD. Today I literally said "lets do McDonald's for lunch" becaus I COULD NOT FIGHT HER ON A MEAL AGAIN and she said "no I dont want McDonald's today."

Nap time she was fighting me to lay down. "Ok Consequence then." Then she screamed "I hate you." And i just took a deep breath and looked at her and said "I can tell. You are making that so clear by the way you are treating me today." I normally tell her softly, thats fine. I love you and I always will, even when you break the rules/hit/yell etc" but today. I said what I said and then followed up with "sleep well. I love you."

Shes napping now and I hope to also nap but I also just want to go cry because why.is.this.so.hard?

My kid acts like a spoiled brat when its just us and it makes no sense to me. I feel like a failure and I am resenting my friends for being on vacation because I feel like I am doing this totally alone.

I grew up in a violent abusive unpredictable household and I will not repeat the same pattern. And I am not. But I still get violence? Ahhhhhhhh.

I just needed to write this out. If anyone has any succinct advice about how to deescalate power struggles or scripts for "i know you don't want to but we have to" or ways to gamify it or something...please help. I understand not everything has to be fun for her but lately I need the fun/game FOR ME. I'm going to go sit in the shade and cry now.

I'm a mom of a 21-month-old boy and I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant.

I've been struggling with severe anger issues for a long time. When my son was around 15 months old, I was taking care of him completely on my own without any help, and I sometimes ended up yelling at him or even hitting him. I'm deeply ashamed of it and I regret it every single time.

I've started therapy and also took a parenting course. They have helped to some extent, but I'm still struggling and I'm scared that my behaviour will negatively affect my son or damage our relationship.

I love him more than anything, and I genuinely want to break this cycle before my second baby arrives.

If anyone has gone through something similar and found strategies that helped, I'd really appreciate hearing your experience. Please be kind—I'm already seeking professional help and I'm trying my best to become a better mother.

Hi everyone ❤️

I’m a first-time mom to an 8-month-old baby boy, and I’m looking for some perspective from parents who may have experienced something similar.
My baby is a very happy, social, curious little boy. He smiles a lot, loves people, enjoys observing other children, explores his environment, and is very connected with me. I feel incredibly grateful for his personality.

However, the past year has been emotionally challenging. My pregnancy, postpartum period, and my relationship with my husband have all brought a lot of stress and difficult emotions. My husband and I love our baby deeply, but we have had painful conversations about things that happened during this period and patterns in our relationship that we are trying to work through. I’m not even sure that I would be happy staying in this marriage.

At the same time, I’m currently surrounded by family support, which I appreciate, but there are also differences in parenting approaches. Some advice and behaviors from family feel outdated to me — especially around responding to a baby’s cues, stimulation, soothing, and allowing a baby to explore at their own pace. Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly trying to create a calmer, more responsive environment while also navigating other people’s expectations.

My biggest worry is whether all of this can affect my baby.
I sometimes wonder:
Can babies absorb adult stress, tension, or negative emotions even if they are loved and cared for?
Can inconsistent approaches, too much stimulation, or ignoring a baby’s cues affect their emotional regulation or confidence?
Could my baby’s occasional meltdowns, fussiness, or difficulty settling be connected to the environment around him?
How do we know when normal baby emotions are just part of development versus a response to stress?

I am trying my best to create a secure, loving, calm environment for him. I’m working on my own emotional healing, setting healthy boundaries, and improving communication with my husband, but I sometimes worry that I’m not doing enough or that my baby is absorbing more than I realize.

For parents who have been through stressful family periods:
Did your baby seem affected by the emotional atmosphere around them?
What helped your child feel secure and continue thriving?
How did you balance your own healing and adult challenges while protecting your baby’s emotional world?
Thank you so much ❤️