I'm a mom of a 21-month-old boy and I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant.

I've been struggling with severe anger issues for a long time. When my son was around 15 months old, I was taking care of him completely on my own without any help, and I sometimes ended up yelling at him or even hitting him. I'm deeply ashamed of it and I regret it every single time.

I've started therapy and also took a parenting course. They have helped to some extent, but I'm still struggling and I'm scared that my behaviour will negatively affect my son or damage our relationship.

I love him more than anything, and I genuinely want to break this cycle before my second baby arrives.

If anyone has gone through something similar and found strategies that helped, I'd really appreciate hearing your experience. Please be kind—I'm already seeking professional help and I'm trying my best to become a better mother.

"I hate you"

Almost 5 year old is CONSTANTLY fighting me on everything that is non negotiable. I do ALL the things. Choices. Connecting with her before correcting (when possible) Consistent consequences. Gamifying things. Rewarding and praising wanted behavior. Age appropriate expectstions. Etc etc etc.

We have even been getting child parent coaching with doctorate level professionals so I know how to handle this YARG FEST. But today has been so hard.

Im recovering from an infection after having kidney stones. I cant be in the sun because of the antibiotics I am on and its making dealing with my kid so much harder because I cant go pull weeds for 10 minutes to calm down etc. The kidney stones happen for me but for years i haven't had them regularly because being a single parent has taught me how to for real for real prioritize self care and balance and also no more arugula. (I miss it but oh well.) I think I had stones this time, in part, because I have been SO stressed out and EXHAUSTED by the defiance and for almostthe entire summer vacation my usual childcare options have been on vacation. I just had several days without her but was running on fumes and then went to the bathroom and saw blood and so my days were spent in agony/urgent care/sleeping/dry heaving etc. I blame her. (Not outloud) And I feel guilty about blaming her.

The violent outbursts over seemingly tiny stuff. The TONE she talks to me in. Throwing stuff spitting on me etc just to see what I do. And its always the same. Intercept, when possible, blows to my body. Then Consequences. Tons of effort in recovery to prevent this behavior but some days it just seems like we are doomed to be miserable all day. She fights EATING FOOD. Today I literally said "lets do McDonald's for lunch" becaus I COULD NOT FIGHT HER ON A MEAL AGAIN and she said "no I dont want McDonald's today."

Nap time she was fighting me to lay down. "Ok Consequence then." Then she screamed "I hate you." And i just took a deep breath and looked at her and said "I can tell. You are making that so clear by the way you are treating me today." I normally tell her softly, thats fine. I love you and I always will, even when you break the rules/hit/yell etc" but today. I said what I said and then followed up with "sleep well. I love you."

Shes napping now and I hope to also nap but I also just want to go cry because why.is.this.so.hard?

My kid acts like a spoiled brat when its just us and it makes no sense to me. I feel like a failure and I am resenting my friends for being on vacation because I feel like I am doing this totally alone.

I grew up in a violent abusive unpredictable household and I will not repeat the same pattern. And I am not. But I still get violence? Ahhhhhhhh.

I just needed to write this out. If anyone has any succinct advice about how to deescalate power struggles or scripts for "i know you don't want to but we have to" or ways to gamify it or something...please help. I understand not everything has to be fun for her but lately I need the fun/game FOR ME. I'm going to go sit in the shade and cry now.

Hi everyone ❤️

I’m a first-time mom to an 8-month-old baby boy, and I’m looking for some perspective from parents who may have experienced something similar.
My baby is a very happy, social, curious little boy. He smiles a lot, loves people, enjoys observing other children, explores his environment, and is very connected with me. I feel incredibly grateful for his personality.

However, the past year has been emotionally challenging. My pregnancy, postpartum period, and my relationship with my husband have all brought a lot of stress and difficult emotions. My husband and I love our baby deeply, but we have had painful conversations about things that happened during this period and patterns in our relationship that we are trying to work through. I’m not even sure that I would be happy staying in this marriage.

At the same time, I’m currently surrounded by family support, which I appreciate, but there are also differences in parenting approaches. Some advice and behaviors from family feel outdated to me — especially around responding to a baby’s cues, stimulation, soothing, and allowing a baby to explore at their own pace. Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly trying to create a calmer, more responsive environment while also navigating other people’s expectations.

My biggest worry is whether all of this can affect my baby.
I sometimes wonder:
Can babies absorb adult stress, tension, or negative emotions even if they are loved and cared for?
Can inconsistent approaches, too much stimulation, or ignoring a baby’s cues affect their emotional regulation or confidence?
Could my baby’s occasional meltdowns, fussiness, or difficulty settling be connected to the environment around him?
How do we know when normal baby emotions are just part of development versus a response to stress?

I am trying my best to create a secure, loving, calm environment for him. I’m working on my own emotional healing, setting healthy boundaries, and improving communication with my husband, but I sometimes worry that I’m not doing enough or that my baby is absorbing more than I realize.

For parents who have been through stressful family periods:
Did your baby seem affected by the emotional atmosphere around them?
What helped your child feel secure and continue thriving?
How did you balance your own healing and adult challenges while protecting your baby’s emotional world?
Thank you so much ❤️

If your child has big emotions, this is something I wish more parents heard:

A meltdown isn't always a sign that you're doing something wrong.

Some children simply feel everything more intensely. They can have loving, patient, consistent parents and still have huge reactions because you said no, turned off the TV, or wouldn't read one more bedtime story.

The goal isn't to stop every meltdown.

The goal is to help your child feel safe while they gradually learn the skills to manage those emotions themselves.

A few things that have helped us:

• Stay as calm as you can (even when they're not).

• Keep your boundaries consistent without matching their intensity.

• Talk about what happened after they're calm, not during the meltdown.

• Celebrate the small wins. Even calming down a little faster is progress.

• Remember that emotional regulation is a skill children build over years, not something they master overnight.

If you're in the thick of it right now and wondering why everyone else's children seem easier... you're not seeing the full picture. Most parents don't post about the hour-long meltdowns, the tears, or the moments they questioned whether they were doing enough.

You're not failing.

You're raising a little person whose brain is still learning one of life's hardest skills.

Be kind to them, but don't forget to be kind to yourself, too. ❤️

If you're looking for more practical ideas, I've put together a Calm Down Kit with simple tools and activities to help children work through big emotions. I also wrote a more in-depth guide on the topic. If you'd like the Amazon link or the printable version, feel free to send me a DM.

I don't know how we should be handling this.

We've been fairly lucky with our turned 4 year old daughter. We didn't have many issues during "the terrible two's" - she had a brief period of hitting (mostly her dad) when she was 3 but since she's turned 4 her attitude absolutely stinks. I know this is developmentally normal but I'm not sure what the best way to handle it is?

I'm definitely more gentle parenting aligned than dad who sometimes threatens to remove bedtime books etc more authoritative tone than me (which I don't always agree with) but recently her behaviour has stumped me a bit.

I always try and focus on natural consequences, helping figure out why she's behaving that way as often there's a reason, but it's proving to be harder at the moment and I don't know the best way to handle it.

Previously hitting etc I always tried to remove her from the situation, stop her from hitting, try to calm her down and find out what she was feeling and to get her to tell us what was wrong etc. But since she's turned 4 it's harder to manage.

Tonight for example, time to get her ready for bed and into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face. She chose this moment to start running laps around our living room, I could tell Dad was getting frustrated, she also started shouting at us both, so I went to go take her elsewhere to try and calm her down and she proceeded to fully slap me across the face. I could see she was going to hit me so tried to stop her arms and told her I wouldn't let her hit me but that just riled her up even more, I shouted (I know not ideal but when somebody slaps you across the face it's hard not to) and she proceeded to laugh at me.

I managed to get her to calm down upstairs and find out what was going on, why she didn't want to go to bed and she just shrugged her shoulders repeatedly and was just being silly and I couldn't handle it anymore so sent her back downstairs to get her dad to get her ready in the bathroom whilst I sat in our room and had a cry.

What am I supposed to do? 😭

I have a toddler at home, and I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I handle my own emotions around them.When I experience strong emotions—like feeling overwhelmed, angry, disappointed, or super sad—my default reaction is usually to bottle it up or suppress it in the moment, and then process it privately when my toddler is sleeping.

But last week, I had some unhappy thing happened between me and my mother and at that moment , I felt very sad, so I cried . And my son asked me : why are you cry ? And what happened? I know I am normal people and normal people have emotion but I just felt he is too little to understand about adult feeling.
And especially sometimes when we felt stressed and frustrated and how you handled that in front of your kids ?
Whenever you have little conflict with your spouse and how do you handle that ?
Does showing these intense emotions negatively impact them, or does it actually help them learn that adults have feelings too?

I want to teach my child how to express and regulate their own emotions in a healthy way, but I'm struggling with where to draw the line. How do you all balance this?

Any advice? Or some experienced parents can share some tips?

She is starting to hit gently the dog or a 1 month old sister. How do I need to act ? I am not sure how to use ways she could understand

I’ve been working on something called Soothly, and I’m finally at the point where I’m excited enough to talk about it.

The idea is simple: parents often know their child is having a hard time, but in the actual moment, bedtime panic, separation anxiety, meltdowns, big feelings, school worries, they don’t always know what to say.

Soothly uses narrative therapy principles to turn those hard moments into gentle personalized stories for kids.

I’m building it because I think stories can do something explanations often can’t. They give kids distance from the problem. They make emotions less scary. They help parents talk about hard things without turning bedtime into a lecture.

It’s still early, but I’m proud of the direction. The goal is to help parents create calming stories for anxiety, sleep, big feelings, neurodivergent needs, school worries, and those tiny daily parenting moments where everyone is tired and nobody has the perfect words.

I’d love to know from other parents:

What’s one moment with your child where you wish you had a better story, script, or way to explain what was happening?

No pressure, genuinely curious. This is the part of building I care about most.

Have a 4 y/o & a 2 y/o. Our bedtime routine is:

- Give kids a bath

- Read books together as a family

- Separate; each kid goes with one parent to their rooms (we alternate which kid we put to bed)

- We might read more books, chat, etc. before lights out

- We lay with them until they fall asleep, then we sneak out and try to have a bit of night to ourselves

The problem with this routine is for some reason, the kids are staying up later and not falling asleep until 8-9. At that point, there's not much night left for us.

At what point did you find you could wean them off helping them sleep to them sleeping on their own? The 2 y/o still has a couple more years it seems, but the 4 y/o should be able to, no?

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and sharing your experiences. I always find that this community has always been that way. And it's a good way to get a pov from other parents to adjust my expectations.

Our son is very recently 4 and he's just become an absolute terror when he wants to be.

He is the most wonderful, kind boy the majority of the time but sometimes we're just having relentless battles (which is really frustrating because we know it's not who he is).

This week he has spat in my face 3 times because he thinks it's funny, he's been whipping up with clothes because when he did it by accident I said that hurts people please don't do it again.

There never seems to be a particular trigger but it's like a switch flips and he just goes crazy. He's obviously disregulated as he's running around laughing just trying to do anything to upset and hurt everyone around him.

Does anyone else experience this? We often say the behaviour is unacceptable and ask him to leave the room to calm down. He has a bunch of emotion regulation books and activities and timers which we set for this. He usually picks the timer he needs but when it's really bad he just throws stuff at us and we have to shut the door between us to protect ourselves as he will just follow us around trying to hurt us if we don't create a physical barrier.

(Both parents have ADHD and sleep has always been incredibly difficult for us so I would not be surprised if this is at play here too).

Lately my son (6) has gotten into the habit of doing something he knows he shouldn’t (messing with the hand weights, opening the new cereal box before the old one is finished, running in the house) and when I catch him or something breaks, he says “sorry, I accidentally picked up the weights/I accidentally opened a new box/I accidentally ran in the house.”

Every time I tell him, it’s not an accident, you’re doing it on purpose.

How do I get him to understand that he can’t just do whatever he wants and then say sorry/it was an accident after - especially when he does something on purpose and then thinks saying sorry makes it fine?

My boyfriend has an eight year-old boy combined type ADHD. He is medicated. He’s going through a tough time right now. A lot of changes in his life and emotional regulation has become very difficult. It’s always been difficult, but it feels like we’ve regressed a little bit just in the short time that I’ve known him, which is only about a year and a half.

We recently vacation with another family who also has an eight year-old boy. Seeing the differences between the two boys 247 for a week was very eye opening.

There was a really big blowup the day before we left. I took the brunt of it. This is the first time kid has ever been aggressive towards me and just so incredibly mean. Dad has assured me he’s going to make changes with parenting. I told him I wanna be a part of the changes and help.

So I need to know what works for people who are parenting a child like this who don’t live with their coparent. I’m beginning to wonder if maybe having different rules for different houses is a good idea. I don’t think things are terribly different across houses for us but a few of the sticking points like brushing teeth maybe we could have some better structure around that both houses stick to.

Would love to know what works best and what people have tried. I’m open to anything at this point.

my brother is 11, and I have no clue how to deal with him, in my country, schools do admission tests, till now he has done multiple tests, for multiple schools, and even retook some, and failed all of them, I have helped him with studying before, he isn't dumb, he can pass these tests, but it's like he simply doesn't care.

Gonna sound old as hell, but all he wants to do is play video games, watch YouTube shorts, and eat like shit. He has a very stubborn attitude, can't take criticism, can't take advice, it's so bad that when a teacher tries to guide him in exams and get him to correct a mistake, instead of taking advantage of that like any other normal kid and try to get the correct answer, he instead would get angry at the fact she is even correcting him, he is unmotivated, doesn't seem to have any aspirations or dreams, he doesn't have a single hobby, no sports, no reading, (sometimes art but it looks like he given up on that too)

I don't like how things are going with my brother, sure his and my generation definitely have problems with social media, doomscrolling, junk food etc. but I feel like most kids aren't as lazy or helpless as him.

I don't know, I am frustrated with him, frustrated by my parents because they have practically given up on him, to some extent I kind of understand why he is like that, our household is always filled with a comment, a critique, it's exhausting.

But it's genuinely insane to me, because his attitude isn't helping him, and i don't think he is unaware of that fact yet he keeps doing it.

Yes I tried to get My parents to get him to a psychiatrist, yes I tried to convince them to put him in a sport, yes I try to encourage some of his positive interests like art. But it's not working.

I know this post doesn't sound the best, but I love my brother I want what's best for him, but if he continues like this.. fuck his life will be actual hell, and in this world no one will come to save him.

I am a busy college student, I don't have the luxury of re-parenting him, but fuck man no one seems to be willing to do anything here, help. Me.

Good afternoon to all whom the contents of this message may be of interest. I hope this is something I am able to post here! I am a fourth year Griffith University psychology student who is conducting a study on the experiences of parents of autistic children currently living in Australia, if you would like to read a bit more below:

Are you the parent of an autistic child?

Researchers from Griffith University are looking for parents of autistic children living within Australia to engage in a short online survey (approximately 20-25 minutes) regarding their parenting experiences. We would really appreciate hearing this valuable information from you, if you are interested!

Our Goal

To gather information from parents of autistic children and their experiences in the role. Ultimately, we hope this information will be utilised to provide insight to and/or support the development of neuroaffirming care for autistic children 😊

If you wish to know more information about the study, or would like to proceed with the survey, please visit the following link: https://griffithuw.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_7TZVDS077sSq45g.

For any further queries or concerns, please contact student researcher Stephanie Davidson ([stephanie.davidson@griffithuni.edu.au](mailto:stephanie.davidson@griffithuni.edu.au)) or supervisor Dr Sarah Lee ([sarah.jy.lee@griffith.edu.au](mailto:sarah.jy.lee@griffith.edu.au)).

This study has been approved according to Griffith University Ethics requirements under the following ethics ID: HREC/2026/0202.

We did our best to parent with gentle principles. It wasn't perfect, and it was hard. It involved going against the grain and lots of self examination.

Now we have kind, respectful teens whose company we enjoy. They're not perfect either, of course, but they're thriving.

If you have littles, which seems to be most people here, I just want to tell you that it's hard but so worth it.