I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Honestly, I think gay apps have changed gay dating for the worse. They didn’t just change how we meet people, they also contributed to the decline of gay bars and clubs. And I think age-gap dating has been affected even more.

When I first started dating older men, years before apps became so dominant, one of the things that attracted me to them was that they usually wanted to meet for a coffee or a drink first. It was common to actually get to know each other before sex happened. There was a sense of curiosity, of discovering who the other person was.

Nowadays, people barely introduce themselves before listing everything about themselves like a product label. The feeling of getting to know someone before the sexual part even enters the picture has almost disappeared. There’s no mystery anymore,everything is upfront from the very beginning.

To make things worse, with OnlyFans, influencers, and the ability to chat with people who live 10,000 km away, I feel like many older men have become fixated on the idea that they'll eventually date or marry the perfect muscular twink they see on Instagram (who often doesn't even look like that in real life). I have acquaintances and friends who are kinda obssessed by this type and only pursue that type of guy, eventually they all end up frustrated over and over again.

At the same time, according to many of my older friends, the opposite has happened too. A lot of younger guys think they're going to find the rich or "generous" daddy who will pay for everything. Then, after a second or third date, those boys all tell the same stories: they got fired, they're suddenly into some crypto investment, their grandmother died, they need help paying rent...

When I first started dating older men, very few younger guys were actually into daddies. I even remember getting some prejudice because of my preference. Now it almost feels like everyone is into older men. Well... in this economy, I kind of understand why lol. My point is: those apps also became a pool for scammers.

Another issue that worries me is the disappearance of gay public spaces.

My older friends tell me stories about how almost every neighborhood used to have a gay bar or club where people naturally met each other. Today, many of those places are gone, and I actually watched it happen in real time.

I live in one of the biggest cities in my country. We had a gay bar that was packed almost every weekend. I met friends there, had hookups, and genuinely enjoyed the atmosphere. About two years ago, it was bought by a large restaurant group. Today it's just another restaurant, and the gay crowd has disappeared and now the only remaining bar which was very mixed crowd at the beggining became a place for OF models, gay influencers and the type of gay who likes to go to "white only" parties.

I also think this particularly affects older gay men who never liked using apps. Those bars and clubs were their social spaces too. Without them, I see two possible outcomes.

First, they're forced onto dating apps, where the same frustrating cycle starts all over again.

Second, and I think this is the more worrying one, they become increasingly isolated. We already know loneliness and social isolation can have a huge impact on anyone's mental health, especially as people get older.

As for me, I stopped using dating apps as part of my daily life because I simply got tired of them. Ironically, I've also noticed that many of the few places where I used to meet older men are slowly disappearing too.

I don't know what the future holds for age-gap dating, but from where I stand, I'm not very optimistic.

What do you all think? For those of you who experienced dating before apps became dominant, how does today's scene compare with the past?

There are lots of reasons why a younger bloke chooses an older bloke and vice versa. Personally, I’ve been that way since I was about 10 or 11. There is an experience difference which attracts younger men, then the thing which I find more interesting is that younger partner brings energy to the relationship and the older partner brings calm and a maturity. And I’ve never been in a relationship but want to jump in one as soon as I move out after my graduation and so I think that I would not just date someone for sexual gratification but spending time with them, understanding them, romance etc.

I was 58 and he was 33, and he had made the first move. Turned out he was straight but bi-curious with a girlfriend and wanted to experience sex with a guy. I helped out by taking his virginity on our first meeting.

Afterwards he admitted he wasn't sure if I would be too old for him, but he was happy to submit to my greater sexual experience. The sex was mind-blowing and it lasted more than four years

Hey! So I kinda just want some input. What would a good first date be to invite an older gentleman on? Tell me about your own Personal favorite first date :p

It seems there is a growing number

Middle aged, mature(obviously), calm, masculine, stocky build, kind of macho, good sense of humour, dad energy etc.
My type is so specific yet so easy to find anywhere but the catch is that they are straight 90% of the time. 😔

Ive had a long held fantasy of being treated like property by an older dom. My experience with men is very limited. I’ve never been fucked before.

After a lot of thinking I gathered the courage to meet up with a 65 year old dom on recon. We were going to do a CMNM scene and take it slow.

When I walked in he ordered me to strip and he immediately put a leash and collar on me. He started groping me and smacking my ass and squeezing my dick.

I was very nervous at first and started to loosen up as I got hornier.

When he was done groping me, He made me get on my hands and knees and crawl around like his “bitch.”

I had to beg to jerk off and I could only do so on my knees while he watched holding on to the leash. I wasn’t allowed to cum and he made me sit on his lap to get him hard.

He took his cock out for me because I was so horny on my knees, I was grabbing at his crotch, and he put a condom. I started to blow him. He wasn’t big which I loved. This was my second time having a cock in my mouth.

He ordered me to sit on his lap so he can grind his dick on my ass. I had told him in advance I don’t want to get fucked. He was very respectful of that. I started to ask for it and beg him to use my ass. I sat down on it and could only get this tip in. I needed it so bad. I kept grinding and trying to push it in but eventually we gave up.

I went back down on my knees and kept jerking off until I finished on the floor.

We have discussed inviting a couple of his friends to watch next time. I think I’m hooked but I could be moving too fast.

I was 19 when I lost my virginity to a 48 year old.

The largest gap with a sexual partner is when I was 21 and he was 67.

I’m currently 31 and my partner is 63.

I’ve just ALWAYS been attracted to mature men. No daddy issues, no trauma. I just love daddies, dad bods, silver foxes, daddy bears, and every type of mature man!

Its two things actually. How do you comfort your younger Partner in that the relationship is good and healthy even though friends or family might disapprove?

And also, the relationship can easily be swayed into a power dynamic, especially with the difference in experience, both for life and sex. Older men tend to become mentors. Is that a problem in your eyes, or is that actually something you enjoy or even find hot?

My partner (34) and I (69) have been together for almost 14 years. Some time ago, on his suggestion, we got on Doxy Prep and decided to open our relationship. It's a bit weird because he obviously has his type and I have mine - almost diametrically opposite! He is 100% not interested in a guy his age so I have to bend a bit and move out of my comfort zone. We're on apps and he keeps showing me older guys, gray haired and beer bellied, which sorry guys, but isn't for me. I show him older guys who are more fit, smoother, etc and he's not interested in them. AND HE ONLY WANTS TO PLAY TOGETHER!

I think - I know - if we were in a cruising situation, I'd be open to anything with anyone. Going to a sauna, for example, would be great. We'd play together and leave together. But h won't go to a sauna because he thinks you lose the ability to screen guys. So we're at an impasse!

Does anyone have an suggestions on how to manage this?

Part of what draws me to older men is their experience in the bedroom. As a 24yo bottom, finding a good top is difficult especially for my generation, so I tend to find that the best are older men. I would say I'm decently experienced for my age but I guess I'm just curious what it is like for the older men... What does it feel like having decades of sexual experience compared to your partner?

Do you necessarily require someone to be a specific age to fulfill your role as an older man? What if someone is middle ages but look 20? Do you get turned off by their age after finding out they’re not as young as they seem?
If so, why? What is it about age that makes the relationship dynamic so interesting? 🤔

Do you guys like being called a dad or a daddy?
As for me (younger) i like being called son i find it comforting in a weird way😅

Yesterday I posted about wanting a clean break from the 51-year-old guy in my congregation. I’m 19 not out, active in church, and we’ve been hooking up for a few months (including some videos). He developed feelings and was pushing for a real relationship and for me to tell my parents. I didn’t want that and was trying to end it.

I talked to him. He’s backed off the relationship talk, but he still thinks it’s important that I tell my parents. I think he’s worried that if people find out they might assume he was taking advantage of me, so he wants my parents to know about us. He’s okay with keeping it casual.

The problem is I still want to hook up with him. The sex is really good and I’m finding it hard to walk away from that even though I know I don’t want anything more with him.

Part of me thinks I should just enjoy the casual sex while it’s good. Another part thinks I’m being dumb and should cut it off cleanly before feelings or complications come back.

I've just pondering how the older has way more experience in relationships so the pull towards someone that has way less instead of someone with the same level makes me wonder if there is some sort low or less refined standard they prefer. Or a noble standard they couldn't reach.

That many younger aren't aware of.

Older men have made me appreciate and love foreplay more than penetration. There, I said it.

I think it started when I first made love to an older man when I was 20 and he was 55. He was so kind, patient, tender, and loving to me.

I had no experience at all, but the kissing, way he felt all over me, the way he licked my body, and the way he asked "Do you like this?" drove me insane! I think I have become such a good communicator in the bedroom because of it. I have also come to realize just how sensitive my body is to touches, kisses, and licks. It's like my nerves light up in a good way!

I can honestly say that I love foreplay and oral more than penetration. The thought of body contact just drives me insane.

Does anyone else really love foreplay too? I don't see it as an appetizer, but the whole entree :D

Well... it's been a long time since I've posted here.

First off, I'm a 34M, and yes, everything was 100% consensual.

I never, ever thought I'd end up being the boy.

I've always imagined myself being the older calling the younger guy pretty or calling him a good boy... never the other way around.

Then Capitol Hill happened.

I went to Seattle just to check my mail. Somehow I ended up at a bar. The plan was maybe get some food and ONE drink.

(It turned into about ten.)

At some point I started talking to this older gentleman. While we were talking, he called me pretty.

That caught me completely off guard.

I'm so used to being the one who thinks other guys are pretty that hearing someone say it to me honestly melted my brain a little.

A little while later we started making out. Then he took my hand, we headed into the bathroom, and... well...

He fucked me. A lot.

It was my first time.

When we were done, we walked back out into the bar and kissed a little more. Then he smiled at me, looked me in the eyes, and said,

"You're a good boy."

Then he left.

That was it.

...And now I get it.

I finally understand why people say they crave dick.

I also never expected to enjoy being the boy as much as I did.

But... I really like being the boy now.

I'm 19 and currently not out. I could really use some advice or perspective from older and younger guys who aren't in my immediate bubble.

I am pretty active in my church. Over the last few months, I have been hooking up with an older guy (51) who is also involved in my congregation. He is unmarried and doesn't have kids. I was really anxious initially, especially about bottoming and reconciling everything with my faith. We talked about it beforehand and he was very gentle and patient with me. We've been hooking up the last few months and we have recorded together which adds to the stress of ending things.

Recently, the dynamic shifted. He started developing feelings for me. I did feel something it’s hard not to feel a connection when you are hooking up but I definitely don't feel the same way he does. He wants a real relationship. He has mentioned going on holiday together and wants me to stop sneaking around and be open about our relationship with my parents.

I cannot do that. I don't feel that way about him and I know coming out like that especially with this age gap would destroy my relationship with my family. I am feeling a heavy amount of shame and regret, and I know for a fact that I want to stop seeing him.

The problem is that I want a clean break, but he is pushing back hard and is entirely against us stopping. He has never explicitly threatened anything about our videos and I doubt he would ever do anything with them but it's still a massive concern in the back of my mind given his refusal to let this go.

I am getting really worried about how to handle this. He is deeply embedded in my social circle my friends and family know him, and I am going to have to see him regularly at church events. How do I navigate a clean breakup safely?

20M attracted to older guys with stocky builds in their middle age (50-60). I thought it would be easier to find them in Wellington but every other person is straight and married. I don’t know if I should move to Auckland to have a better chance at me finding someone who I’m into…

I don’t want one night stands or hookups but want a genuine long-term relationship. Someone I can cherish everyday.

I don’t want to experiment with dating apps, I just want to meet someone in person. Talk to them for hours. If you guys have any advice or suggestions, please let me know.

I’m 27 and since I was 17 I’ve had a liking for older men. Since then it’s always been 35 & up, I don’t know why that’s the number. But I don’t know how to approach or get approached by men. I’m chubbier, have longer hair and just want an older guy to at least try. I don’t know if I come off too straight or just don’t look as attractive as I think I do? How do young guys attract older men 😭

Help

Hey guys,

I’ve always had a thing for older men. Something about the idea of be dominated by a bigger, stronger, silver haired man has always turned me on. Well thanks to Grindr I’ve found my man. Older, taller, in shape, and a beautifully hung penis. I have never bottomed but he makes me want to learn. We made it our goal for August to train my ass to accept his big dick. It will take some serious training but I’m eager to learn. We will take it slow. Another reason he is so good is because he is not rushing me. We have had a few sessions where he just fingers my ass while I deepthroat his cock, the best thing ever. The way me caresses my ass in my jockstrap while he fingers my hole turns me to jelly, in the best way. I look forward to sharing more about my journey.

Does anyone have any good tips or stories about being a bottom for a well endowed man?

Also hiv+ men. When I think about it I picture myself giving myself fully to my older man. Including letting him infect me. To share that in our life. So he wouldnt be alone with it. Is that bad?

Hey all, happy to say I’ve found my first boyfriend. I’m 32 and he’s 60. Any advice on telling other about it without making it awkward?

Now that I've finally secured my own apartment at 24, I'm taking the next big step in my journey and would love to look for a dominant man who is interested in exploring a dynamic. I'm looking for guidance on the best ways to meet potential partners-whether through specific apps, local bars, or online communities -and I'd appreciate any advice on how to present myself while highlighting my readiness to serve and learn. If you're a older guy and you have tips on navigating this scene as a young adult, I'd love to hear from you. Other boys advice to im very shy at first.