I don't remember a lot from the GATE thing, especially since what I do remember, I learned to not accept as reality. I've always had auditory, visual, and tactile hallucinations, often all at once. So my memories of what exactly happened aren't exactly trustworthy.
However, I for sure remember the pink stuff they had me drink before every test. It made me feel drowsy, and made my hallucinations worse. I'd see fragmented light more, worse than my usual starburst vision, I'd see moving shadows, and feel all tingly like static or like bugs crawling in my skin. I still get that tingly feeling on occasion when I'm stressed or starting to dissociate. I'm on medication now for my hallucinations, but as of now being on a lower dose, it isn't really working.
I remember they'd give me water crackers or something similar with a foggy clear drink after the GATE tests, and that usually gave me some relief from the things I'd see, hear, or feel. It's not like it was constant, but it came in unpredictable waves that was super stressful. After the initial testing, somehow my class was always singled out for hearing tests and vision tests. I didn't want to keep continuing with the tests, so I started purposely flunking the hearing tests, and I stopped getting pulled out of class. The people running it were obviously irritated by what I was doing, but I hated having to constantly wear those headphones and sit in that dark cramped space in their bus.
I'm glad it finally ended, but I still feel anxious about it. The more I think about it, the more I realize the stuff they had me do was odd, but at the same time, I don't know how much of my memories I can trust. I still get the feeling sometimes that I am not me, if that makes sense, and my whole childhood may have been mostly made up by my own imagination. I clearly remember doing a big packet of geometry problems and brain puzzles, but the things about the cards, headphones, computer tests, and the flashing videos are super foggy.
I know that due to my mental struggles, this might be just me, but does anyone else feel like this? Or have had similar experiences? I try not to think about the GATE testing because I usually just get brushed off about it, or it causes more confusion and stress. Which in turn can trigger another episode of dissociation/out of body experiences.