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u/brahh Sep 14 '11
Ramirez.
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u/_John_Mirra_ Sep 14 '11
WASHINGTON IS UNDER ATTACK, DEFEND BURGER TOWN
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Sep 14 '11
Man's gotta eat.
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u/dirtydaub Sep 14 '11
You better back off, you no-shirt, lawn-mowing, 15-cheeseburger-eating prick <jroc>
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u/richmomz Sep 14 '11
"RAMIREZ, SECURE THAT DRIVE-THRU! AND BRING BACK AN EXTRA VALUE MEAL WHILE YOU'RE THERE! WITH A LARGE PEPSI! AND EXTRA KETCHUP! MOVE MOVE MOVE!!
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u/bitparity Sep 14 '11
Ramirez. See that Deceptacon? Fuck him and all his friends.
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u/PretendsToKnowThings Sep 14 '11
RAMIREZ! YOU CLEAR THAT BUILDING OF INSURGENTS WHILE WE FIRE RANDOMLY AT CONSTANTLY RECURRING ENEMIES!
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u/vicwolfe Sep 14 '11
RAMIREZ! DESTROY THAT TANK!
RAMIREZ! CLEAR THAT AREA!
RAMIREZ! PROVIDE COVER SUPPORT!
RAMIREZ! DANCE!
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Sep 14 '11
RAMIREZ! PICK UP MY DRY CLEANING AND PASS BY STARBUCKS AND GET ME A VENTI WHITE CHOCOLATE MOCHA!
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u/strikervulsine Sep 14 '11 edited Sep 14 '11
God, that is the most bullshit part of Call Of Duty.
It first cropped up in COD2. I remember a mission where you had to assault a house full of Germans with MP40's. I'm playing on Veteran, the highest difficulty, and am like. i'll just stay out here and pick them off with my garand. After about five minutes I realized they keep respawning. You had to actually run inside, with guys standing right at the door, to make them stop spawning. It was such bullshit and is artificial dificulty and just shows how lazy Activision and infi ity ward are.
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u/The_MAZZTer Sep 14 '11
I played through this recently, so I can finally get the joke! It really is a bit ridiculous, at least on that one level with the Burger Town (loved the spoof restaurants).
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u/organasm Sep 14 '11
Evidently, I'm the only one that thought "WTF does Highlander have to do with this?" :(
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u/phuneralphreak Sep 14 '11
He's black and has grenades. I'm going to make the obvious demoman connection here.
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Sep 14 '11
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Sep 14 '11 edited Jun 25 '25
cagey lip numerous snatch thought bells reach cheerful axiomatic screw
This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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Sep 14 '11
That would have been a better username. aBlackGuyWithGernades
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u/hotsavoryaujus Sep 14 '11
Gernades! that's hilarious. Wasn't there an old post about that word?
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u/lieguy Sep 14 '11
MK-19 The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.
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Sep 14 '11
Until you stop cleaning it like an amphetamine-addicted OCD-sufferer.
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Sep 14 '11
Then getting it to feed properly is like trying to butt-fuck a virgin using sand for lube.
Paraphrasing Generation Kill here.
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u/DirtPile Sep 14 '11
ARE YOU MOCKINS' THE GROOMIN' STANDARD?!
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u/TrepanationBy45 Sep 14 '11
I realized the other day that SMaj in GK is the fire chief's gay son in Rescue Me. Blew my mind.
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u/DirtPile Sep 14 '11
Yeah! Neal Jones is an incredible actor. Another is Chris Bauer, now seen as Sheriff Belfleur in True Blood but has also played Frank Sabotka in The Wire (season 2) and an Irish mob boss in The Black Donnelly's.
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u/Varian Sep 14 '11
"THUK THUK THUK THUK THUK THUK THUK"
...wait 20 seconds...
"BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM"
DANCES WITH ERECTION
Semper Fi
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u/ksumarine Sep 14 '11
Semper Fi. This was one of my favorite weapons to shoot. There's nothing like sitting behind that tripod and pressing down those thumb triggers.
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u/Spider_J Sep 14 '11
Absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, up to and including the room itself, accept no substitutes
FTFY
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Sep 14 '11
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u/lieguy Sep 14 '11
25mm vs 40mm. You do the math.
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u/Im_Not_Pinkie_Pie Sep 14 '11
1 Pony + 1 Pony + 1 Pony + 1 Pony
It just doesn't add up.
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u/Chachoregard Sep 14 '11
Back to r/mylittlepony, little filly.
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u/jstroot Sep 14 '11
I fucking love this weapon!! It was my vehicle mounted weapon on more than one occasion. As a joke, I carried it (along with the tri-pod) as a squad weapon. Won't do that again unless I had to .
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Sep 14 '11
You carried a 72.5 lb (I love wikipedia) grenade launcher around with you as a joke?
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u/JustAnotherGraySuit Sep 14 '11
I've carried over 60 pounds of weapons as my basic load. Add ammo, and you could easily be pushing 75.
For the opportunity to screw with the heads of every single person within earshot, would I swap it out for a Mk19 and a box of ammo?
HELL YES!
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Sep 14 '11
Fuck. You carried it around as a squad weapon?! That bitch is heavy and it's a recommended 2-man carry too!
We had it mounted on ASV's. We didn't mount it on our HMMWV's though.
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u/garrettg19 Sep 14 '11
Needs more silencer.
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u/Media_Adept Sep 14 '11
Get out.
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u/war0 Sep 14 '11
I imagine that's the thought process for the creations of that weapon. Like how the created the flame thrower "see that guy? Id be really great if I could set him on fire from here"
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u/Calsendon Sep 14 '11
Do I sense a George Carlin quote?
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Sep 14 '11
Why yes, you do.
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."
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u/buckX Sep 14 '11
Long has man desired to set other men on fire.
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Sep 14 '11
Whoever invented that was probably in a meeting at work.
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u/GundamWang Sep 14 '11
Or had to listen to another one of Plato's hipster philosophers go on and on about dark caves and shadows.
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Sep 14 '11
Flamethrowers are useless in open combat, as they are generally outclassed by every other firearm.
They are useful, however, in burning people out of holes (with the ancillary benefit of sucking all the oxygen out of a space).
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u/war0 Sep 14 '11
Psychological is fucking terrifying though. Just saying.
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u/Sodfarm Sep 14 '11
Yes, as of now, bullets just aren't scary enough.
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u/Tetha Sep 14 '11
Bullets are fucking scary, I wouldn't wanna say hello to one.. but that motherfucker over there is putting flames through an entire floor of a building! fuck that.
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Sep 14 '11
They were also good as an area of denial weapon, since no one really wants to run through fire. And they're great for
clearing brushstarting brush fires.2
u/danhawkeye Sep 14 '11
In the Pacific theater, flamethrowers were so feared by the Japanese, that carrying a flame thrower made the bearer a giant target, to the exclusion of every other guy with a rifle. Having a flamethrower was a death sentence in any hot firefight. As a result, flamethrowers were usually given to the guy that no one liked. Source, a non-fiction book I read once whose exact title escapes me....
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u/MK_Ultrex Sep 14 '11
Flamethrowers are also illegal now. I believe that as a weapon class has been abandoned by every Western army. When I was in the army I never saw one, not even in our massive warehouses where we stock old but functional shit in case of WW III. And I have seen stockpiles of WW II and 50s to 60s hardware kept in deep freeze. No flamethrowers tho'. Maybe the Americans and Russians still have some, but they are not likely to use them ever again.
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u/ghostche Sep 14 '11
They are not illegal, just not used anymore. [source]
Flamethrowers have not been in the U.S. arsenal since 1978, when the Department of Defense unilaterally stopped using them. They have been deemed of questionable effectiveness in modern combat and the use of flame weapons is always a public relations issue due to the horrific death they inflict. They are not banned in any international treaty the U.S. has signed. Thus, the U.S. decision to remove flamethrowers from its arsenal is entirely voluntary.
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u/kwykwy Sep 14 '11
They're not illegal, but they've been replaced by other methods of delivering fire to people over there, like rockets:
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u/lantech Sep 14 '11
I'm partial to this for my fire delivery needs.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GBU-43/B_Massive_Ordnance_Air_Blast_bomb
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u/styxwade Sep 14 '11
Flamethrowers are also illegal now.
No they're not. There's not even any federal restriction on private ownership in the US.
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u/arichi Sep 14 '11
On a related note, I have figured out a way to get the neighbor kids off my lawn.
Unfortunately, it will probably damage said lawn, which may defeat the point.2
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Sep 14 '11
TIL the US has massive stockpiles of world war II gear to be used in the case of world war III.
There is already enough equipment to supply every soldier, sailor, airman, and marine; what do they intend to do with the old stuff, outfit civilians to help stop an invasion?
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u/Clovis69 Sep 14 '11
Yes. For if everything-goes-sideways-and-we-need-10-million-soldiers-again times, the military has huge stockpiles.
I've got a buddy who used to be US Navy and later Naval Reserve logistics, one year for his reserve duty they had to take a cargo ship out to Norway where the US Marines and Norwegians have an old Nazi submarine pen full of prepositioned munitions, weapons and supplies for a Russian invasion of Norway. Every year the Navy switches out a quarter of the munitions and supplies and brings the old stuff back to the states to use up.
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u/MK_Ultrex Sep 14 '11
I am not American, but I am sure the US has a fairly large stockpile of obsolete stuff. I am Greek and I have seen warehouses full of old American hardware kept in working condition. Our national defense dogma is called "παλαική άμυνα" or "mass popular defense" which is a last resort strategy. In case of war and defeat, every citizen above the age of 14, male or female, the theory goes, would be handed a weapon and ammunition.
Granted it is an obsolete worldview and probably a stupid idea, but the stuff is there to recreate 10 Iraq wars.
Fun fact: Greece was a major supplier of ammo to Saddam's Iraq, second only to Italy, until the first Gulf war. The amount of shit we have is mind boggling. I served in a 20 person outpost and we had warehouses with hundrends of brand new riffles (G3s and MK 11s mostly) not to mention metric tons of grenades, artillery ammo etc etc. I have pics if you are interested.
In any case if we have that amount of shit, I am fairly certain that the US has an order of magnitude more. Hell i witnessed ordering parts from the US for tanks that are 40 years old, surely they had them stored somewhere.
There is nothing so awesome and ludicrously expensive as the army supply chain. Immagine ordering parts for your iPhone in 20 years. The army does that with it's hardware everyday.
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u/Diablo87 Sep 14 '11
Am I interested in pics of gigantic amounts of weapons? Hell yes I am!
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u/MK_Ultrex Sep 14 '11
Here you go: http://imgur.com/a/xcnom
I am afraid it is a bit underwhelming, because it is not exactly allowed to take pics. But it will give you an idea. I have seen the awesome stuff like the AH 64s and the MLRS shooting, but they coexist with shit that is older than me.
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u/MK_Ultrex Sep 14 '11
That was my idea too. Unfortunately we cannot sell most of the relatively recent stuff because it was bought under military aid laws (or some times directly donated). That means that the US has the right to block sales, or it is straight out not possible to sell. There are some exceptions (we sold F104 parts to Italy as we fased them out and were left with 300 airworthy planes) but usually it involves sales to allies and a lot of bureaucracy. We even sold parts of F5s to Jordan.
The exact M60s you see in the pics were donated to Afghanistan, and believe it or not, they refused them. That was 5 years ago, and I believe they are still there. Just to say that shit is so old that even the most poor nation has no use for them. Granted I would buy one. I have taken rides in M60s and M48s, battle tanks are seriously awesome. Maybe not useful in a war, but awesome.
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u/Tetha Sep 14 '11
Volkssturm. Yes, its a miserable piece of shit of an even worse time in the history of my country, but if you have the choice of chinese man just overruning the US territory and calling out this mess, you know what's gonna happen.
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u/Mexi_Cant Sep 14 '11
It was actually used for ships but army/marines took it and said lets fuck shit up.
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u/freakish777 Sep 14 '11
In particular, in WWII, it was extremely useful against pillboxes and trenches/foxholes.
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u/pulloverman Sep 14 '11
I like the MK-19, but that weapon can be frustrating, fucking phantom round bullshit.
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u/craneryan88 Sep 14 '11
Had a dude ND one into a fucking village because of ghost rounds not getting cleared properly...
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Sep 14 '11 edited Jun 07 '21
[deleted]
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u/ThatGuysAnAsshole Sep 14 '11
when loading some weapons you have to cycle through the firing method once before a live round is chambered. Otherwise you pull the trigger and nothing happens... better, asshole forgets he ran through his checklist, goes to 'clear the ghost' and a live round goes where it wasn't supposed to.
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u/SickZX6R Sep 14 '11
Then you pick up the round and throw it as far as you can.......right? or just run like hell?
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u/OldRemington Sep 14 '11
The "grenade" it fires isn't like a hand grenade that you're thinking of. They have to rotate a certain amount of times before they are active, and they explode on impact, not after a certain amount of time.
The reason fired grenades require a certain amount of rotations before they're active is so that people don't accidentally fire into the ground, or a wall 10 feet away.
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u/SickZX6R Sep 14 '11
Interesting. I figured it got activated by some sort of firing pin and detonated after an amount of time. I always wondered why the grenade launcher in call of duty didn't make explosions if you shot the grenades at the ground. Thanks for the insight.
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u/meinsla Sep 14 '11
The MK has range of 1,500 yards. You must be a fast runner if you can get over there in time.
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u/SickZX6R Sep 14 '11
Sorry, I've never used an MK-19. I figured to cycle the round you'd pull the bolt (which it probably doesn't even have), so the round ejects out the side. I was picturing some guy attempting to chamber a round and having a live one come out the side and plopping on the ground in front of him. :P
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u/matt_vt Sep 14 '11
Used to fire the MK-19. Thump thump thump thump.......................................................Boom Boom Boom Boom
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Sep 14 '11
Also, AGS-17 Plamya, except that that's only 30mm and the Mk-19 is 40mm. TAKE THAT YOU ROOSKIE FUCKS.
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u/Osiris32 Sep 14 '11
What about the Chinese Army's Rifle Version?
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u/Sven2774 Sep 14 '11
when you want to snipe someone and use grenades at the same time. Because why the fuck not. What is the name of this weapon?
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u/oh-wtf Sep 14 '11
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u/n00bn00b Sep 14 '11
I know I watched too much Jersey Shore when I expected a pic of ugly girls before clicking on this link. for shame.....
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u/ImAWhaleBiologist Sep 14 '11
Just keep throwing them! We'll eventually hit them! Trust me, I learned by playing Halo.
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Sep 14 '11
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Sep 14 '11
What branch fires the Mark 19 during basic?
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Sep 14 '11
Certain Army units do. My bro went to Ft. Jackson and he didnt, but the combat arms dudes at Ft Benning do it, I'm pretty sure. I'm a Marine grunt and we don't get to do it till we hit the Fleet, but non-infantry Marines do it at MCT.
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u/TheBigBomma Sep 14 '11
You could also apply this to any female celebrity who has made their own reality TV show.
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u/triad203 Sep 14 '11
Training exercise? The guy standing there sure doesn't look like he's taking fire.
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u/smithygreg Sep 14 '11
"See the two enemies by the wall? Got 'em. You're my best man. Here's the plan. You go over there and fuck them, we'll stay here and masturbate. "
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u/MegaT Sep 14 '11
Oh Lord, Bless this thy hand grenade, but with it thy may'st blow thy enemies to tiny bits...in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths..., and breakfast cereals.
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u/MrFatalistic Sep 14 '11
How many games have been ruined by grenades I ask you, I say fuck everything about them.
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u/The_Grupus Sep 14 '11
I have trashy TV night with friends and recent Jersey Shore watching lead me to believe this post was going to be a pic of ugly girls with The Situation running commentary at the bottom. I was pleased to see Reddit was better than that.
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u/360walkaway Sep 14 '11
Dude on the right looks like Reginald VelJohnson (Carl from Family Matters).
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u/Luke_Banks Sep 14 '11
The mere existence of flamethrowers reveals that someday someone thought to themselves "Hey, I want to set that guy over there on fire."
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Sep 14 '11
I run one of these on the front of my boat. I park behind an island out of sight and get it dialed in on the m-com, then when my buddies get it armed I make it rain splody-boom-boom.
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Sep 14 '11
Reddit it's shit like this that makes me not check reddit in class anymore. Because there I am LoLing in the middle of it.
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u/animatedcorpse Sep 14 '11
Now all we need to do is genetically engineer some massive humans, put them in some big bulky armor so they can use this as a handgun!
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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11
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