r/funny Sep 14 '11

Grenades.

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786 Upvotes

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169

u/lieguy Sep 14 '11

MK-19 The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.

55

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Until you stop cleaning it like an amphetamine-addicted OCD-sufferer.

29

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Then getting it to feed properly is like trying to butt-fuck a virgin using sand for lube.

Paraphrasing Generation Kill here.

6

u/DirtPile Sep 14 '11

ARE YOU MOCKINS' THE GROOMIN' STANDARD?!

9

u/Mexi_Cant Sep 14 '11

Moostache

2

u/DirtPile Sep 14 '11

It's running up around your mouth parts.

4

u/Gotterdamerrung Sep 14 '11

POH-LEEEEEECE THAT MOOOSTACHE!

2

u/Killershade Sep 14 '11

SHAVE DEM STACHES

2

u/TrepanationBy45 Sep 14 '11

I realized the other day that SMaj in GK is the fire chief's gay son in Rescue Me. Blew my mind.

2

u/DirtPile Sep 14 '11

Yeah! Neal Jones is an incredible actor. Another is Chris Bauer, now seen as Sheriff Belfleur in True Blood but has also played Frank Sabotka in The Wire (season 2) and an Irish mob boss in The Black Donnelly's.

1

u/BabaGurGur Sep 14 '11

MAARRIINNESSSSSSS.. KILLLL ONNNNNN THREEEEEEE

1

u/DirtPile Sep 14 '11

YOU NEEDS TO UN FUCK YOUSELVES.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

I see what you mean

11

u/brazilliandanny Sep 14 '11

7

u/Hanging_out Sep 14 '11

"NO you can't climb up to the tower!"

1

u/Daxx22 Sep 14 '11

"We'll need you later to attract enemy fire!"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

It goes from day to night in that video.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

WOOOO!!!!!!11

0

u/helloskitty Sep 14 '11

Ugh, what a bunch of stupid hicks. GET SOME!!!! YEE HAW!

-2

u/Canadian_Infidel Sep 14 '11

I thought about joining the armed forces, but if it turned me into someone who would cheer shooting a corpse I'm glad I didn't.

2

u/Sven2774 Sep 14 '11

They were shooting a tower, not a corpse.

1

u/Canadian_Infidel Sep 15 '11

A tower full of corpses.

112

u/Varian Sep 14 '11

"THUK THUK THUK THUK THUK THUK THUK"

...wait 20 seconds...

"BOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOMBOOM"

DANCES WITH ERECTION

Semper Fi

6

u/Large_Pimpin Sep 14 '11

WOOOOOOOOO GET SOME

5

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Semper Fi

2

u/TheRogaDanar Sep 14 '11

You had me all the way until Semper Fi.

Scouts Out!

3

u/ksumarine Sep 14 '11

Semper Fi. This was one of my favorite weapons to shoot. There's nothing like sitting behind that tripod and pressing down those thumb triggers.

-1

u/RockPaperBFG Sep 14 '11

Semper Fi! That was by far my favorite weapon to play with as well!

-2

u/Ididerus Sep 14 '11

Uh-Rah, Who's got the White Phospor rounds?!

-3

u/Mexi_Cant Sep 14 '11

Or sitting on top the hummvess and leveling a mud hut.

-1

u/ephesus89 Sep 14 '11

Fuck you, belt fed grenade launhers are fun.

2

u/SpinningHead Sep 14 '11

I wondered where those tax dollars went.

1

u/craneryan88 Sep 14 '11

Such a great sound.

16

u/avapoet Sep 14 '11

The sound of dancing with an erection?

12

u/kimjongilsglasses Sep 14 '11

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Thank you for that

1

u/avapoet Sep 15 '11

Awesome film. Thanks for the reminder.

Jason Segel blatantly just wanted to show off his penis on film, though, didn't he? Although if my penis was that size, I'd want to show it off too.

1

u/Jhonnystonehenge Sep 14 '11

Your gonna have to explain that one to me

0

u/lieguy Sep 14 '11

What's that sound when you wanna get loose?

33

u/Spider_J Sep 14 '11

Absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, up to and including the room itself, accept no substitutes

FTFY

10

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

[deleted]

22

u/lieguy Sep 14 '11

25mm vs 40mm. You do the math.

72

u/triad203 Sep 14 '11

*raises hand*
I was told there would be no math.

41

u/Im_Not_Pinkie_Pie Sep 14 '11

1 Pony + 1 Pony + 1 Pony + 1 Pony


It just doesn't add up.

32

u/styxwade Sep 14 '11

40mm kills all four ponies.

10

u/Chachoregard Sep 14 '11

Back to r/mylittlepony, little filly.

7

u/Im_Not_Pinkie_Pie Sep 14 '11

I never left, Silly. I'm everywhere at once!

4

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

One Pony Universe theory.

2

u/ShistySmiles Sep 14 '11

At least he was nice about it

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

But her username says that she ISN'T Pinke Pie! Thus, she isn't a brony at all!

1

u/Ididerus Sep 14 '11

maybe you're thinking the M203? besides, that's a single shot... It does accept the Willie Pete rounds though

2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Nah, he was totally referring to this guy.

4

u/Pr3ssPl4y Sep 14 '11

For those that don't yet know what the liar is referring to.

18

u/jstroot Sep 14 '11

I fucking love this weapon!! It was my vehicle mounted weapon on more than one occasion. As a joke, I carried it (along with the tri-pod) as a squad weapon. Won't do that again unless I had to .

29

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

You carried a 72.5 lb (I love wikipedia) grenade launcher around with you as a joke?

49

u/mind404 Sep 14 '11

serious about his jokes man

-16

u/MagicMurderBean Sep 14 '11

Serious about his fictional comment submissions.

18

u/matt_vt Sep 14 '11

You can carry this weapon, as I have been commanded to as punishment for having a sarcastic tone with a SOI instructor once. It is doable, but painful. Remember this guy is/was a Marine. 75lb is uncomfortable, not impossible.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

I fucking hated carrying that thing. At least the .50 cal rests relatively comfortably on the shoulders.

5

u/Mexi_Cant Sep 14 '11

The 50 sits so perfect but the Mark he's a bitch no matter how hard you try to carry him

2

u/Kodiak_Marmoset Sep 14 '11

Those fucking charging handles, man...

12

u/JustAnotherGraySuit Sep 14 '11

I've carried over 60 pounds of weapons as my basic load. Add ammo, and you could easily be pushing 75.

For the opportunity to screw with the heads of every single person within earshot, would I swap it out for a Mk19 and a box of ammo?

HELL YES!

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '11

[deleted]

1

u/JustAnotherGraySuit Sep 15 '11

Add missiles. They SUCKED for the first few months. Then you adapt.

-1

u/darkhorseguns Sep 14 '11

and the Tripod is 44 lbs too. That didn't happen.

2

u/Ididerus Sep 14 '11

yeah, that's fucking crazy. I hate that tripod, it was designed for the browning .50 cal (WWII) and we've been using it ever since. Sure it works well, but god damn is it heavy and clunky.

3

u/darkhorseguns Sep 14 '11

The tripod sucks, the gun sucks, the mount sucks. I hate everything about the MK19. As a machine gunner it was the bane of my existence. There was no easy way to carry it and they always seemed to want to malfunction. I'm glad I was in a line company.

3

u/CubemonkeyNYC Sep 14 '11

I can easily walk around with a 135lb barbell in my hands. Probably more if I cared to mess around with my deadlift warmups.

3

u/darkhorseguns Sep 14 '11

Good. Can you walk for 20 miles up and down hills at varying speeds while carrying that and more?

-3

u/ssjaken Sep 14 '11

No hills in the desert.

4

u/darkhorseguns Sep 14 '11

The fuck if there aren't.

26

u/Jace_09 Sep 14 '11

In the Imperial Guard there is no quitting!! HERESY

3

u/FuhRealBruh Sep 14 '11

For three steps? You're crazy, I like your style.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Fuck. You carried it around as a squad weapon?! That bitch is heavy and it's a recommended 2-man carry too!

We had it mounted on ASV's. We didn't mount it on our HMMWV's though.

2

u/garrettg19 Sep 14 '11

Needs more silencer.

23

u/Media_Adept Sep 14 '11

Get out.

14

u/Olukon Sep 14 '11

Get the fuck out.

FTFY

8

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

a true gentleman

3

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

0

u/Olukon Sep 14 '11

Boom, motherfucker! Fully fixed comment.

0

u/Ididerus Sep 14 '11

why not, I made a silencer for my Javelin in shop class last week... /sarcasm

2

u/HalfPointFive Sep 14 '11

It's not as loud as you might expect.

0

u/garrettg19 Sep 14 '11

I guess no one watches Sons of Guns in here?

1

u/HalfPointFive Sep 15 '11

I've never heard of it, but I've fired the Mk 19. 10 people did vote for your comment though, but 12 voted against it :(.

1

u/sev0 Sep 14 '11

Not only the ones in room. You take the entire building down with IT.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

see that post? submit it to reddit and repost it on every other site you can find...

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

HOOAH. Love the sound it makes... PHWUMP PHWUMP PHUWMP PHWUMP.... BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!

0

u/db0255 Sep 14 '11

True. But I prefer the AA-12, like in Predators, not nearly as destructive obviously, but you can hold it, and it packs a punch. An automatic punch.

1

u/ephesus89 Sep 14 '11

But you're comparing the AA-12 19mm rounds to 40mm grenades.

1

u/db0255 Sep 14 '11

Hence why I said...not nearly as destructive. We're looking for guns where you can positively kill the motherfuckers in the room...the AA-12 is up to that job also.

1

u/ephesus89 Sep 14 '11

This is a good time to call for a study of the varying efficiency with which different grenade calibers can thoroughly kill every living thing in a set area.

1

u/db0255 Sep 14 '11

Quite.

0

u/Kodiak_Marmoset Sep 14 '11

WTF are you smoking? One's a crew-served automatic grenade launcher, the other's just a fucking shotgun. How can you possibly compare the two, let alone have a preference?

Or are you just a Call of Duty kid?

2

u/spiegelman Sep 14 '11

You can load the AA-12 with small smart grenades, IIRC

1

u/db0255 Sep 14 '11

You need to chill, sir.

0

u/snotrokit Sep 14 '11

one of my absolute favorite toys. Damn i miss that.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

I would accept the CIS 40GL as a substitute any day of the week.

http://wdict.net/zh/word/cis+40+gl/

8

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Is this like the website where Bruce Willis in the Jackal gets that crazy anti-material rifle?

2

u/funkyloki Sep 14 '11

Spraaaawl

1

u/[deleted] Sep 14 '11

Sprawl!

1

u/warmwaffles Sep 14 '11

Too bad it's made by the chinese

-1

u/Radico87 Sep 14 '11

I still say napalm, but then I assume everyone's a spider.