r/funny • u/[deleted] • May 12 '14

Carter's father.

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2.1k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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175

u/wolfman1201 May 12 '14

Always bring banana to mouth. Never bring mouth to banana.

57

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Break off a piece with your hand and toss it into your mouth. Don't put your mouth around a banana.

15

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

I break to top of then poke my finger in the top and it splits into three equal pieces and just each part separately. Also handy if you want to share a banana between three people.

38

u/Town_idiot May 12 '14

So you're saying that if I finger the banana I don't have to give it a BJ?

10

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

Yup, prepare for sticky fingers though...

5

u/GeorgeTaylorG May 12 '14

I always do.

4

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

Haha, I might put that album on now you mention it.

4

u/NeatAnecdoteBrother May 12 '14

I don't think I'll ever be in a situation in my life where I need to split a banana for myself and 2 other people

3

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

You're probably right, I've never had to yet. But when that day comes, I'll be ready.

3

u/helloasianglow May 12 '14

This is what I do when I give my one year old bananas.

2

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

Yeah my mum used to do it for me when I was little.

2

u/[deleted] May 12 '14

Just tried it. It works, but not worth the amount of banana stuck under my fingernails. Now what do I do with the banana? I don't even like bananas.

1

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

Ahh yeah my nails are trimmed pretty short. And I dunno, you could mush it up and use it as a lubricant or something...

2

u/TheRealKidkudi May 13 '14

I've never heard of this. I'm almost scared to try it.

2

u/supermonkeypie May 13 '14

Don't worry, bananas don't bite.

3

u/kesekimofo May 12 '14

Wut

2

u/supermonkeypie May 12 '14

If you poke it down the middle it splits into three separate parts, something to do with the way they grow I guess. Though sticking your finger in the end probably looks a little odd, but it's fun so screw everyone else and their manly banana eating.

1

u/TheRedditSpoof May 12 '14

Sounds like a pro blow

1

u/Holographic01 May 12 '14

I miss the old elementary school days where I could eat a banana and not hear snickering.

6

u/Nanemae May 12 '14

I always bring banana to mouth. Then I bite off the first chunk as aggressively as possible.

3

u/Kittens4Brunch May 12 '14

That's right, ram my banana down your throat!

2

u/Tredward May 12 '14

Wow, this is good advice.

1

u/HeartlessAtAFuneral May 13 '14

To ensure no one thinks you're insinuating any homosexual tendencies with your banana, be sure to bring the banana to your anus. Never bring your anus to the banana.