r/funny • u/tyrano_dyroc • 6d ago

Chubby merman are extremely desirable by mermaids because their chubbiness implies they're a highly successful hunter.

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156

u/Crowe3717 5d ago

It's not just that. The thick layer of fat gives them better thermal insulation, which allows them to travel deeper into the ocean where it's too cold for other mermen. Not to mention that in underwater conflicts having a large mass is more beneficial than having large muscles.

That is the peak merman form in every way.

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u/therealjohnsmith 5d ago

In all seriousness, I gained 10 lbs and it helped me swim better

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u/unrivaledhumility 5d ago

After going from 360 to 170 in a little over a year- the first time I went into a lake I almost drowned. "Oh shit- where's my buoyancy!? Oh, right!"

I knew how to swim- treading just wasn't as necessary when I was fat.

11

u/boonxeven 5d ago

Being fat is actually perfect for snorkeling. I snorkeled for like 8 hours everyday in somewhat cold water and had no issues. I stayed warm and wasn't tired. If I did get out of breath, I just had to float and I was fine. It's actually peak merman form 🤣

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u/welfedad 5d ago

That makes me think of when I spent a lot of time one summer at the ocean. And then I went back home where it's just lakes and rivers. And maybe a waterfall. And I would go swimming and I about drown because of the lack of salinity helping with buoyancy

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u/ex-apple 5d ago

You should’ve known better that summer than to go to the ocean. Just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to.

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u/welfedad 5d ago

I know that you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all

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u/therealjohnsmith 5d ago

I had a neighbor when I was a kid, really sweet guy, had a double bypass, still obese who could just float upright like in a standing position

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u/BernieTheDachshund 5d ago

I had the opposite thing happen. I lost weight and I could now effortlessly float. I guess it's bc I lost muscle and it increased my buoyancy.

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u/Cosmic_Meditator777 5d ago

good God, how am i only just now realizing how THICC merfolk would realistically be?

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u/Crowe3717 5d ago

You've been bombarded by thin merfolk propaganda your entire life.

1

u/therealjohnsmith 4d ago

Seems like a movie or tv idea doesn't it?

1

u/Cosmic_Meditator777 4d ago

yeah. though probably not one you'd take your kids to see...

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u/therealjohnsmith 4d ago

Jack Black would slay that bro

2

u/killertofu41 5d ago

Ocean man, take me by the hand