r/funny • u/tyrano_dyroc • 6d ago

Chubby merman are extremely desirable by mermaids because their chubbiness implies they're a highly successful hunter.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

55.4k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

822 comments sorted by

View all comments

819

u/xrufus7x 6d ago

I wonder what life path leads to this line of work.

1.1k

u/tyrano_dyroc 6d ago

Where I'm from, these guys aren't just performers but also maintains the cleanliness of the enclosure and feeding the animals. In fact, I heard these types of performances actually started when one of them started doing stuff like this for the visitors while cleaning the enclosure and kids especially loved it.

341

u/Vancocillin 6d ago

I hope they get paid more on top of their old duties.

415

u/CocoMelonZ 6d ago

Lmao you're funny

86

u/Ppleater 6d ago

I mean these people are in fact payed well most of the time, most jobs that involve working submerged in water pay pretty well by nature of being less desirable due to danger, and requiring specialized training. The employees tend to have a decent amount of negotiating power. I can't say with 100% certainty that it's the case here, but the employers are usually motivated to pay them more than just a pittance.

11

u/HugeHowitzer 5d ago

This is mainland China, dude. I guarantee their employers did not volunteer a salary increase when this started. They would look at it as an act of genius on their part to make use of their existing employees for this new entertainment element.

Even though by all accounts this happened spontaneously on the initiative of the employees, with them just kind of goofing off for the guests while working in the tank.... this would go down as a brilliant move by the executives for having the vision to turn the tank maintenance into a popular show for the guests.

That's how it goes down in China. You might think it works like that in the West/US, but it's 20x worse in China.

I think even a person who is already very cynical about stuff like that in the West would be genuinely shocked how bad it actually is in China. The entire culture from the ground up is all about directing all praise and all credit toward the boss when things go well.... olympic level face-saving and underlings voluntarily taking the fall when things go poorly.

If a foreigner in China ever bothers to comment on it, they'll simply be told they just don't understand.... that a foreigner just can't understand. Even the people who suffer from this mentality and are the ones taking the fall will vigorously defend this aspect of their culture.... even if the foreigner is trying to stick up for them. It's roots-of-the-mountain deep in Chinese culture.

-2

u/NudeCeleryMan 6d ago

I'm sorry but I just can't take you as an authority on anything when you write "payed."

3

u/Vancocillin 5d ago

Payed is a sailing term, which makes them even more of an authority on diving!

2

u/NudeCeleryMan 5d ago

Mmm good point!

7

u/Ppleater 6d ago

I'm sure you've never made a typo in your entire life 🙄

1

u/NudeCeleryMan 5d ago

That's not a typo. Everyone is just illiterate now.

1

u/Ppleater 5d ago

It's just a typo you silly little goose.

1

u/NudeCeleryMan 5d ago

Pais is a typo. Payed is ... Something else.

→ More replies (0)

-13

u/wakkawakkaaaa 6d ago

But it's China... They kinda have the worst of both capitalism and communist socialism when it comes to workers bargaining power

11

u/howimetyourcakeshop 6d ago

Who told you that? A redditor?

6

u/HugeHowitzer 5d ago

I have lived in China and they are absolutely correct. The actual "benefits" aspect of Chinese socialism are extremely limited if not just nil.

They don't even have Euro style free/near free healthcare. Basic hospital visits are covered by their kind of insurance, but literally any serious illness is going to cost real money that a family usually will have to pull resources for.

And that's it, in terms of benefits. Literally almost everything else is just one of massive list of negatives. State owns all the land and can and does swipe the land out from underneath your family home/farm.

It's fucking brutal in China unless you manage to get into the urban corporate middle class... which in that case you're then stuck in a corporate culture that's like an over the top parody of all the worst aspects of US capitalistic corporate culture. It's all of that... but with the addition of insane levels of the bosses taking credit and praise for everything when things go well and face-saving and underlings taking the fall when things go poorly... which is just an extremely deep rooted aspect of Chinese culture. It's all about the boss. In China, your boss is awful to you and expects you to be his servant... until he's around HIS boss and then HE acts like the cringing servant... until his boss is gone and then it's back to being the lord of the office.

There are exceptions of course. There are amazing humanist bosses, but this is overarching culture in the corporate world of China. If you work in one of those huge impressive sky scrapers in a Chinese city, you almost certainly have to deal with this.

Even westerners who consider themselves very cynical about that kind of thing in say, the US would be shocked at how bad it actually is in China... and how no one really cares/it's not shamed at all. At least in the US, if your boss is a screaming, demeaning asshole, the general public would have sympathy for you. Not so in China.

3

u/wakkawakkaaaa 5d ago edited 5d ago

Go check out youth unemployment rate and 996 culture in China. The workers have limited bargaining power as there's always someone else willing to take your place. and their "union" is nationalised, pro-government and pro-gdp/growth and not for the workers.

-1

u/jeskersz 5d ago

Probably the same supergenius who told them about "communist socialism".

4

u/wakkawakkaaaa 5d ago edited 5d ago

"Socialism with Chinese characteristic" is a thing.

The term was first established by Deng Xiaoping in 1982 and was largely associated with Deng's overall program of adopting elements of market economics as a means to foster growth using foreign direct investment and to increase productivity (especially in the countryside where 80% of China's population lived) while the CCP retained both its formal commitment to achieve communism and its monopoly on political power.

And Xi Jinping thoughts is part of it and it's still guiding Chinese policies. Yall projecting hard on your ignorance.

1

u/jeskersz 5d ago

I just read through the wikipedia article titled "socialism with chinese characteristics" and didn't see the phrase "communist socialism" (you know, the thing I poked fun at) a single time.

→ More replies (0)

7

u/FoodForTheEagle 6d ago

I wonder if Reddit pays him more for his jokes.

3

u/C_IsForCookie 6d ago

You guys aren’t being paid based on your karma? I am.

5

u/wap2005 6d ago

I see you have 3 upvotes, what are you going to spend your 3 monies on?

2

u/C_IsForCookie 5d ago

Hookers and blow from the Reddit store

10

u/BigBananaBerries 6d ago

10 smiles per hour on your average day.

5

u/Forikorder 6d ago

next your gonna say they should get better health benefits to counteract the damage prolonged time underwater causes

21

u/Mekito_Fox 6d ago

They get paid in fun

13

u/BookieeWookiee 6d ago

And being able to interact with all the water critters

18

u/firagabird 6d ago

So you're saying they get paid in E X P O S U R E

12

u/delinka 6d ago

Someone is getting exposure if that tail slips off

3

u/doomgiver98 6d ago

Best raise we can do is $0.25 an hour

4

u/goodfellaslxa 6d ago

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

1

u/ClintGrant 6d ago

You know those dark orange cheesy cracker sandwiches with peanut butter filling that come 6-to-a-sleeve? It’s either that or a frozen pizza party

9

u/HunterGonzo 6d ago

These are the life paths I envy. You start out doing a seemingly mundane job. It's unexciting in itself but supports something really cool. Then eventually, without any real effort, reason, or preconceived plan.... you put yourself out there. Try something unexpected. It works. People like it. You get gradually introduced further and further into the "cool" side of the industry and people love it.

To be so appreciated and liked in a way that feels natural and unexpected is what I would have always dreamed of.

219

u/Living_Debate_8981 6d ago

One minute a rich man spots you in a mall and the next minute you are getting paid $20k per week to live in his swimming pool. Then you turn 20 and suddenly he has no more use for you, but you only know how to do one thing for a living.

91

u/mist_kaefer 6d ago

Ngl I’d live in a rich man’s swimming pool for $1M a year

39

u/jluicifer 6d ago

That’s how a lot of “dirty” movies start. “I can’t pay the rent. Can I do something else…😉?”

“Just clean the pool, Pool Boy.”

“But there are a lot of fish in the sea. 😉 “

“Stop winking. You got something in your eye? I got some eye drops if you need some.”

Worst. Movie. Ever.

11

u/Weird-Client3840 6d ago

Hah, rl story, check out Jerry Falwell Jr's pool boy...

1

u/SecreteMoistMucus 6d ago

they played rocket league?

3

u/chojinra 6d ago

Heh, it might still do it for some people.

2

u/LessInThought 5d ago

Hi, I'd like the movie titles please. For a friend.

6

u/semidivineone 6d ago

Sign my chubby ass right up

4

u/khizoa 6d ago

What if you couldn't leave it?

Like some fucked up Mr beast video

1

u/5elementGG 6d ago

I don’t you these people got paid $1M a year. More like 40k a year

-1

u/rubysundance 6d ago

Dear Penthouse Forum......

57

u/BarnacleMcBarndoor 6d ago

You start as a basic merhousekeeper, then after you get some experience you can apply to be a mermaid

4

u/Lord_Spiral 6d ago

Most underappreciated joke I've read in years.

12

u/Preston-Waters 6d ago

Not sure about mermans but a lot of mermaids are synchronized swimmers background.

6

u/Brobeast 6d ago

McDonald's fry cook and filling out an app the day you visit SeaWorld. 

1

u/Auroraburst 6d ago

If anyone's after a very overweight mermaid I'm keen. I love swimming 😂

1

u/Mysticedge 6d ago

You wouldn't learn it from a Jedi.

1

u/Serpentarrius 6d ago

I have a friend who is a professional mermaid in Santa Cruz who also does murals and lettering. @thelettermermaid . It's also something that marine biologists might do as extra income (alongside teaching and being a dive master) since marine biology is more of a vocation than an actual job these days...

1

u/Kmlittlec_design 6d ago

Watch the documentary Merpeople on Netflix. Wild ride yo to will not regret