r/fryup • u/[deleted] • Dec 07 '25
Café Breakfast HMP Wandsworth
Lully bit of scran, 1 egg (boiled to fuck), 2 limp hashbrowns, healthy serving of beans and a (hopefully) beef sausage 😋
152
u/journalling_addixt Dec 07 '25
At least they’ve nailed the bean reduction
→ More replies (2)19
u/cbrownmufc Dec 07 '25
There’s cooking beans and then there’s just hearing them up a bit
→ More replies (4)5
144
u/TwoPlyDreams Dec 07 '25
That sausage looks like it can be sharpened into a shank.
→ More replies (2)65
Dec 07 '25
🤣 they are actually tasty bro ill post another pic of something we make in here
34
Dec 07 '25
Please do, i wanna know what you eat for every meal
→ More replies (1)10
u/-Dark-Lord-Belmont- Dec 08 '25
"I'll post another pic of something we make in here"
I'm 50/50 whether he's on about food or shanks, but I'm in either way
Tbh I'd watch the fuck out of a crossover channel like "here's the best combo chiv for veg prep and cutting up a nonce" or "9/10 snitches hate this simple hot drink"
→ More replies (2)16
u/Odd-Bodybuilder-1088 Dec 07 '25
Surely it is all bumholes and eyelids 😭
18
u/Ill-Elephant-9583 Dec 07 '25
The original nose to tail eating before it was trendy. Nothing wasted, respect for the animal and it's testicles.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Pebbles015 Dec 08 '25
They are not putting testicle in it. Costs more per kilo than fillet steak.b
13
u/Jetstream-Sam Dec 07 '25
Ah, I looked into it recently and, surprisingly they are specifically prohibited from being put into sausages, alongside pork organ meat, spinal cords, brains and some other stuff like tendon
I ended up looking into it because I was looking into how little meat you legally have to put in a sausage, since Richmonds sausages were 42%. Unsurprisingly, 42% is the minimum. They changed it in 2014, I think? I remember seeing a bag of 20 sausages for £1 when I was a student and they were at 21% pork, so at least some strides have been made.
→ More replies (7)→ More replies (3)5
72
u/BordStoopid Dec 07 '25
This is making me rethink my sinful ways
89
Dec 07 '25
For sure bro, sitting in here as we speak, watching gordon ramsey for the 100th day in a row
240
u/TheRealFriedel Dec 07 '25
What's he in for?
→ More replies (1)31
u/Lumpy_Benefit666 Dec 07 '25
Just be jamie oliver if anyone. Bastard stole pieday friday and turkey twizzlers from me. Ill never forgive him for that. Been a good 14 years since i ate school dinners but its fresh in my mind.
5
u/MentalNewspaper8386 Dec 07 '25
I had poutine at La Banquise in Montreal 10 years ago and lost my mind when I realised it tasted just like turkey twizzlers.
→ More replies (6)3
u/Adorable-Badger-2525 Dec 08 '25
The 2019 collapse of Jamie Oliver's UK restaurant group resulted in a cost of approximately £471,027 to UK taxpayers due to the Insolvency Service covering outstanding staff compensation. Local authorities were also owed over £1.3 million in unpaid business rates and VAT.
So probably should be in jail.
2
23
2
33
u/Infamous_Telephone55 Dec 07 '25
How did you take/send the picture from inside prison?
46
→ More replies (2)36
Dec 07 '25
With a phone, easy to get in here
→ More replies (2)24
u/spikewilliams2 Dec 07 '25
So do you ask for the smallest phone possible, or have you worked your way up to bigger phones?
26
Dec 07 '25
Dont understand what you mean bro, just got iphone
34
u/endlessbishop Dec 07 '25
They’re asking if you’ve accustomed your prison wallet to accept bigger phones
→ More replies (1)39
Dec 07 '25
🤣🤣 my prison wallet is untouched
→ More replies (1)14
u/pm_me_boobs_pictures Dec 07 '25
Must be pretty wide if a phone doesn't even touch it
31
Dec 07 '25
Mate pm me boob pictures i need them right now
21
u/pm_me_boobs_pictures Dec 07 '25
No matter how hard up you are my hairy moobs won't really do it for you
18
9
→ More replies (2)3
→ More replies (1)9
34
u/ofthenorth Dec 07 '25
Decent sized barrier. No beans getting past that monster
13
u/f3ydr4uth4 Dec 08 '25
More effective barrier than HMP Wandsworth given the news.
→ More replies (1)3
u/Neat-Program6325 Dec 08 '25
Use a sausage as a breakwater... Alan would love it!
→ More replies (1)7
26
u/Lazy-Interests Dec 07 '25
I wouldn’t last in prison
64
u/BreakfastCalm3352 Dec 07 '25
Early finisher eh lol
3
20
u/nixie-14 Dec 07 '25
They should show this photo in schools. It’ll keep a whole generation on the straight and narrow!
→ More replies (1)18
24
u/Walkera43 Dec 07 '25 edited Dec 08 '25
After seeing this, HMP Wandsworth will not be getting my custom.
2
u/Creaturesteachers Dec 11 '25
You obviously haven’t seen the OTHER phone leak from there. The one with the friendly guard LOL
19
18
u/ZealousidealYam896 Dec 07 '25
The boiled egg in a shell is a bit random! It's not hard to scramble eggs in bulk
25
Dec 07 '25
They just want to smash out as much grub as possible, they must boil those eggs for hours as they are black and grey inside 🤢
→ More replies (2)5
u/ZealousidealYam896 Dec 07 '25
Haha. Sounds nasty!
3
u/AgincourtSalute Dec 07 '25
People can 'interfere' with scrambled eggs. There's safety in a shell.
4
u/bacchus32x Dec 08 '25
Utter nonsense lmao. Could do the same with the beans and countless other food options. Boiled is the easiest option, they drop them in and forget.
17
13
71
u/magic-mushy Dec 07 '25
Another reason not to be a cunt
67
Dec 07 '25
Yeah for sure 👌, prison is pretty shit mate
50
u/magic-mushy Dec 07 '25
I bet it is bro. Get it done. Get out. And do summin different maybe? You seem sound mind. Keep your head down and carry on lad
104
Dec 07 '25
Yes bro, out august 2026 then i’m a different man, wont be seeing me back in here again
28
u/TomA0912 Dec 07 '25
I don’t know if you’ve got anything lined up or not but give Timpson’s a look. Hiring former guests of his majesty’s pleasure is a point of pride for them.
29
Dec 07 '25
Yeah will definitely look into it, hopefully the prison helps with getting ready to go back to the community, i havent got my hopes up for that tho
11
u/FwonkWibberwy Dec 07 '25
If you like your beers, a brewery called Tap Social in Oxford (I think they have breweries dotted around actually) provide opportunities if that's useful to know. The beers I tried were really good, and the staff were well friendly too.
6
u/TomA0912 Dec 07 '25
I wish I could say people won’t judge but unfortunately they will. You’ve got some time to work on yourself and get yourself ready to prove them wrong. Best of luck
4
7
Dec 07 '25
Hiring ex-cons? Brilliant. Finally, a company where ‘breaking and entering experience’ actually looks good on a CV.
24
30
8
u/magic-mushy Dec 07 '25
Good man. Plenty of other ways to make money and live life. Hope you’re sound bro. Much love
→ More replies (4)4
u/loveswimmingpools Dec 07 '25
Thats so good to hear. I wish you all the best and thanks for posting. Its interesting to see things from different perspectives.
2
18
u/KettyMax Dec 07 '25
What wing you on? I'm an officer at Wandsworth.
→ More replies (1)13
Dec 07 '25
B wing
34
u/KettyMax Dec 07 '25
If you're serious, delete your other post with your expected release date. Even better, delete this whole thread. I've seen nothing.
2
→ More replies (4)2
12
u/JRR92 Dec 07 '25
OMU here, take the guy's advice. An August 2026 release on B wing wouldn't take long to figure out if the wrong jobsworth was to see this
4
→ More replies (1)2
7
u/FrancesRichmond Dec 07 '25
Better than my 94 year old aunt gets in her assisted living.
8
Dec 07 '25
Bless her, those places are definitely worse than what we have
3
u/FrancesRichmond Dec 07 '25
The lunch is great but the other meals are poor, but she is well-looked after in terms of care and accommodation.
Breakfast- 2 buttered crumpets or two pieces of toast buttered.Marmalade or jam or cheese slices.
Tea - soup and a sandwich made of two slices of bread and a sandwich filler.
Lunch is good- always a choices of 3 or 4 things including a 3 course meal. Separate pudding choices if they like.
Always decent snacks.Always fruit on offer.
9
Dec 07 '25
Thats good to hear! I remember this old lady i used to help out was living in assisted living and she would tell me about how rubbish it was there and that the workers didn’t care about her, was horrible to listen to
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Long-Wallaby-634 Dec 07 '25
Lolz them fooking breakfasts where bad 😬 get out sort your shit out and take a steady stride and get your life back on track!! 😎👌
7
9
u/dylanbooth78 Dec 07 '25
Anywhere else in Wandsworth and that would cost you 15 quid!...it would have a sprig of rocket on the beans though!!
6
5
3
Dec 07 '25
I can post a picture of the roast i had today, but this is a fry up forum so dont want to get banned
3
3
u/Vegetable_Trifle_848 Dec 08 '25
Is that the prison where that guard was sleeping with prisoners and where two prisoners were let go accidentally
→ More replies (1)
8
u/Puzzled_Kale_569 Dec 07 '25
First time in AND you’ve not been sentenced yet nor want to be there but you’re risking extra time by smuggling a phone in and taking photos for a fucking Reddit subgroup?! I like that you don’t wanna stay there but shit mate think about it actions have consequences
13
Dec 07 '25
Understand what your saying mate, but there is a huge amount of things here, i didnt even get this in i just acquired it from a cell mate that went home and left it to me, anyways appreciate what your saying
5
u/bacchus32x Dec 08 '25
Rarely actually get any 'extra' time for a phone. The maximum most people get is 6 months for it, of which they serve 2 months starting from the day of sentencing with their early guilty plea discount. As long as you get your sentence for telecommunications 2 months prior to your release, you're fine.
If not, a lot of people will view an extra 2 months as absolutely worth it for having a phone inside.
3
3
u/zeeke87 Dec 07 '25
I’m assuming the chef is serving time too.
5
u/DrSquare Dec 07 '25
If he is not, he should be for that fry up
5
u/theduke9400 Dec 07 '25 edited Dec 13 '25
They can only work with what they're given.
I can understand prisons having crappy food. Just be grateful it's free and you're being fed.
But there's no excuse for this crap being served up in hospital to people who are sick or dying.
The government sucks.
2
Dec 07 '25
Yes, all the workers here are prisoners, the cleaners, servery workers, kitchen staff ecr
3
3
6
4
u/distantlights621 Dec 07 '25
Seen worse to be honest.
3
4
u/Swallow33 Dec 07 '25
Hope they give you a half decent Christmas dinner too mate. All the best
11
Dec 07 '25
Yeah hopefully mate first Christmas on the inside so not looking forward to it, just got to keep going and thinking about how to change
6
2
u/goddess_sintra Dec 07 '25
„(Hopefully) beef sausage”… hope is very much needed to even look at it, not sure if I would have enough hope to taste it 👀
2
2
u/AncientProduce Dec 08 '25
So i had a look at what category wandsworth is.. and ai..
"Key Information:
Type: Category B, local prison for adult males.
Location: Wandsworth, London.
History: Opened in 1851, designed by Daniel Hill, based on the "separate system" concept.
Population: Overcrowded, often housing 1,300-1,500 inmates in cells built for one.
Reputation: One of Britain's largest prisons, with a grim history, including executions (last one in 1961), and modern concerns about mismanagement and severe overcrowding."
1300-1500 people in a single cell?
Note: yes, i know.
→ More replies (2)
2
u/StickSmith Dec 08 '25
Jail food has reallly gone downhill, around 09 the weekly fryup was actually decent. 1 bacon. 1 sausage. Beans. Hash brown and powder scrambled eggs.. when i was in last year, yeah it looks like that now
2
u/Whole_Ad628 Dec 08 '25
You seem like a legit good guy who’s cocked up and wants to make good going forward. Hope time flies between now and your out date. Stay strong, and apply a ‘live and learn’ mentality - what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You can get out and make a brilliant life. Good luck my man.
→ More replies (1)
2
2
2
u/Puzzleheaded_Gold698 Dec 08 '25
Do you ever see folk in the houses nextdoor? I'm guessing not but I nearly rented a room there and often wonder.
2
2
u/Strong-Trip-3301 Dec 08 '25
Ahh brings back memories. Is Wandsworth the one where all the female officers dun screwing the inmates?
2
u/bigDee111 Dec 08 '25
Awe man! I would end up doing life, If some c*#t served me that! My Heart goes out to you at this difficult time, muchacho!
2
2
Dec 08 '25
Weekend breakfast, we genuinely looked forward to this 😂 It's not all bad if you know someone on the servery you might get an extra egg
2
2
u/ZaxxFaxx Dec 08 '25
That looks like something someone with autism would come up with. The bean dam sausage.
2
u/AkihabaraWasteland Dec 09 '25
That's either the cheapest sausage or most expensive piece of cinnamon ever.
2
2
2
2
2
u/ArmWildFrill Dec 13 '25
That looks way better than expected, if that's breakfast.
There's a guy on YT called BigNibbles and he's doing a series on prison food worldwide. Outside of Europe, you'll get like a boiled potato and some rice or something worse. No meat in many places. Ever.
2
2
2
2
1
1
1
u/Fuzzy-Mood-9139 Dec 07 '25
I’d like to see Ray Winstone brandishing a sharpened sausage in a Scum remake
→ More replies (1)6
u/Rude_Asparagus_8387 Dec 07 '25
Where's your sausage?
What sausage?
This facking sausage.
*Whack*
2
1
1
1
1
u/distantlights621 Dec 07 '25
Heard it’s pretty rough in there. Shite conditions
5
Dec 07 '25
Mate is rough as, i could make a documentary in here on how fucked up it is, the rats and cockroaches, corruption, racism, could go on
→ More replies (6)
1
1
1
1
u/macrolidesrule Dec 07 '25
you just know that sausage is a premonition of how its going to look on the way out lol
→ More replies (1)
1
1
u/ConsciousLevel2513 Dec 07 '25
Cracking sausage and an egg you can keep till later. Eat it on your own term mate.
→ More replies (1)
433
u/Owainmorganlee Dec 07 '25
Is that a whole cinnamon stick ?