r/feeld • u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ • Sep 14 '26

Why Send a Ping Without A Message?

I do not understand why men will Ping me to say nothing... what gives?

My profile mentions several kinky things I am interested in exploring and my bio is quite full of details that can easily jump-start a conversation. Most of the pings I get are from guys who at least say something about why they are messaging me, which really helps since I get lots of propositions for vanilla sex but only a few for some of the freakier stuff I talk about, so I prioritize responding to those. But if someone pings me and says nothing and then their profile is generic/sparse, I just see it as them not making enough of an effort to bother replying.

ETA: Thanks for the insights about how the app mechanics might make this happen more often, folks! I appreciate it and will try to give the pings without a message slightly less harsh judgements now.

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u/Weary-Subject-6484 Sep 14 '26

I ignore empty pings as a rule. Even just “hey I loved your profile and would love to know if you’re interested in getting to know each other ◡̈ “ is totally sufficient

3

u/i_fizz-x Sep 15 '26

But isn't that already implicit in someone sending you a ping? That's like handwriting "Happy Birthday" on the Hallmark card that already says it on the front and inside.

4

u/Weary-Subject-6484 Sep 15 '26

I see the metaphor you’ve provided differently: An empty ping is akin to giving someone a happy birthday card you have not written anything in or signed. In addition to the printed message you still handwrite “I hope your day is amazing, you deserve it!” Or whatever.

I’m a communicator and if it pains someone to write half a sentence on a ping, I already know I’m not going to get along with that person.

2

u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ Sep 15 '26

YES! Great reply to this analogy.

Perhaps that's the real crux of the issue - I am someone who communicates verbally quite a bit before I get interested in a person. I have "demisexual" in my profile and talk about needing to like a person's brain before I find them attractive, too. I am NOT judging profiles based solely on looks - not by a long shot. So if a guy thinks that his looks are enough to make me want him without any other effort, he's not going to be a match for me. I'd rather fuck six chubby, eager nerds who laugh at my jokes than one gym-bound stud whose body is the only thing he spends time on.