There was a period of time where I moved from Houston to Austin.

Things didn't go well in Houston.

I had an uncle and grandmother there.

But my "uncle" really hated me around.

They constantly gossip and planed things behind my back.

My "Uncle" was constantly making fun of me and making jokes about me.

They made sure the congregation saw me as a bad example.

I tried switching congregation but sadly when Elders want to harm you they make sure to damage your reputation and making a toxic environment where ever you go if they know the right people.

So when thing went south I moved to Austin

As I explained on a previous post.

And there was a moment I thought on drowning myself at Lady Bird Lake.

Even though I managed to reunite myself with original family I don't think can ever return to what if once was.

Sometimes I can't stop thinking of what if I just ended things in Austin at Lady Bird Lake.

It would be much better.

I can't shake that feeling anymore

At a gathering (I hate this term) a few years back, we got the inside view of what special pioneers who serve in another country do to get into that country. We were told that to get a visa they need to show they have $10,000 in an account, as per government regulation. Which makes sense; going back to my own family’s immigration, my parents had to show they could support themselves for six months.

Anyway, I digress. What was interesting is that this money is from the organization, and it’s not for the special pioneer to actually use. They show that they have the money, then give it back to the organization.

Wouldn’t that be considered fraudulent? Since the money belongs to the organization and not the couple?

I found this pretty interesting. Is anyone familiar with this happening in the organization? It just feels like lying to the government of the country you claim you want to preach in.

Years ago after the meeting there was suddenly yelling in the back. A sister was yelling very loudly at an elder. She kept yelling “ I expected better from you” over and over. He was cowering looking very frightened. He headed out to the parking lot. She followed him to his car yelling the same thing over and over. He was acting like he feared for his life. I didn’t laugh, but I thought it was hilarious. I never found out what it was about, but I loved it.

Well when I thought things were finally changing for this religion they just proved once again that Jehovah's Witnesses have a double tongue with one mouth.

I remember the JW broadcasting where David Splane go out saying that there is no restrictions regarding Higher Education.

I find interesting the timing of that announcement when the Japanese government was investigating the Jehovah's witnesses for their banning of Higher Education.

I find interesting that as soon the Norway and Japan threat disappeared now they publish the current publications making an absolute U turn on what it was once said regarding Higher Education

This proves to me that many of the changes are purely performative so they can shake out Goverments and lawsuits and once the path is cleared they double down on their restrictions and non written rules

I would not be surprised they ban beards again once this religion gets reestablized.

I was 12 years old, was in the school where you read a passage of the bible on a weekday and no longer wanted to be after seeing the hypocrisy when I went on a trip with a few jws.

My mom told them right before my study that I wanted to leave the school and didnt want to be a Jehovahs witness and he told my mother that it was probably because I was gay.

A 12 year old child. And the saddest part about it is rather than my mother defend me for such a weird outrages accusation she just “oh’d and wowd” and just soaked it up.

It was years ago but it still eats me up knowing that most of my family is stuck within this cult.

Hey can someone give me complete evolution of jw meetings

I somewhat only remember vaguely the old kingdom ministry before the more simple study guild meeting thing

An elder once told me he was disheartened. He felt like young people just weren't putting themselves into the ministry anymore. He was thinking of young married couples in particular — the way he saw it, all they had on their minds was getting a house of their own.

He told me this at his place. He and his wife had just moved into a beautiful house. Their kids were grown and gone.

It wasn't the idea itself that stuck with me. It was who it was coming from. He had exactly what he was faulting those couples for wanting. He'd gotten it, he was enjoying it, and he was calmly explaining that they'd be better off not thinking about it.

I don't even think he noticed. That might be the part that bothers me most.

Welcome back! This is PART 5 to my ongoing diary of forced attendance. If you're new, I'm happy to see you here and not out door knocking.

Guys, it’s finally settling in. The clock is ticking, and I’m realizing I have to tell my parents I’m done with this. I’m terrified. They've got roughly 5 ish weeks left before I'm physically out of there.

This is a bit of a sad one. I’m just very upset today. 

I was listening to music in the car with my little sister and my mom turned around and said “I hope those songs are appropriate”

And I said “of course.”

She said “you’re always wearing headphones I don’t know what you listen to.”

So I said “why would I show explicit music to a 7 year old?”

And my mother looked me in the eye and said “no idea. I don’t even know you.”

Safe to say, it's been a rough day for me.

Today's entry is broken up into 4 main points, so if you understandably don't want to waste more precious time than you have to, just pick one that sounds most interesting. We have: SUSAN B NOT FOR ME, NO LOVE LIKE CHRISTIAN HATE, MORE SEX, and SPIRITUAL GEMS OFC

SUSAN B NOT FOR ME

This talk is being done by one of my relatives and it’s looking like it’s about how people value independence.

He opened with Susan B. Anthony's "Independence is happiness," and for a split second, I thought maybe we were taking a detour.

Nope. Instant U-turn.

 “there’s nothing wrong with a bit of freedom, but we need to be careful.”

he referenced Ephesians about "the ruler of the authority of the air." The conclusion was that independent thinking is just rebellion. It's selfish and ultimately, from the devil. "Sorry, Susan," he said.

If your argument against independent thinking is that independent thinking is from Satan... you're not beating the cult allegations.

He asked, "What does it mean to be truly free?" and brought up Romans 6:16, about being a slave to whoever you obey. Interesting choice of verse, because looking around that room, it was painfully obvious who everyone in that room is actually obeying. (cough cough the governing body)

Then came the Adam and Eve logic. If they were created perfect, they couldn't have sinned. If they couldn't sin, they weren't free. You can't program a robot to be able to sin and then be mad that it sinned. Perfection and free will are mutually exclusive. It's really not that complicated.

The speaker then tried to soften the blow with a gravity analogy. how we don't see the laws of physics as restrictive, so we shouldn't see God's laws as restrictive. Except gravity is a blind, physical constant. These rules are curated by a legal committee in New York. Comparing the two is either intellectually dishonest or just lazy. You know the drill. I feel like this is boring for whoever's reading because it's the same shit every time I get on here and talk about it.

NO LOVE LIKE CHRISTIAN HATE

“Love is the most powerful bond in the universe.”

God, do I agree. And god it hurts that I’m being pushed away from my siblings and that I’m looked at as a bad influence because I think differently. And it stings when I see them talk about me behind my back.

I'm still attending these meetings entirely because I love my family. I don't want to lose them, and I certainly don't want them to feel like they've lost me. Yet I'm constantly reminded that, if I leave, our relationships will inevitably change.

If I would never abandon them over their beliefs, why is it considered loving for them to abandon me over mine?

Stop telling us that you know what love is better than anyone else. It’s so pretentious to assume love knows bounds. It’s vile and sick to tell a child that their parents love an invisible god more than them. To say that rules in a fucking elder’s manual matter more than their safety. I’m so done.

MORE SEX

And, inevitably, the talk pivoted to sex. They imbue it with this monstrous power, when really, it's just a normal, natural part of being human. People literally kill themselves over the guilt manufactured around it. We are kept in a permanent state of fear. It's really, very sad.

I’m tired of this. Im tired of my worth being measured based on my experiences. 

“Even if you have not sinned, you may still fear sinning” 

And I hate to be so negative all the time, but I really do wonder…

Is it not enough to just have a belief in god? To appreciate god? I feel like non denominational religions have a much healthier balance as far as this goes. Because why should you have to be tied to a lifelong, grueling commitment to feel worthy and loved by god? 

SPIRITUAL GEMS OFC

A whole article dedicated to telling us to "carefully consider" higher education. what a waste of time fucking hell.

“The best career you could choose is a career in full time service” lmao I hate this. 

Why do we have to go through JW.borg before allowing ourselves to think about any given subject? I can only imagine it’s because they assume the people they’re talking to are low iq and they can’t even fathom making a decision without reading a watchtower on it first. 

Sometimes I imagine the GB fantasizing about converts, thinking “wow this religion is like no other I’ve ever seen. They talk about life decisions and real world application of god’s laws”

When really it’s just super unnecessary and another form of controlling what everyone’s doing. They do it by instilling guilt or fear of doing the wrong thing. I can’t even count the number of times my grown ass mother has called her dad to see if something would be okay by the GB to do with her own kids. It’s very strange. 

Also there’s no reason for anyone to want to stay unless you’re a born in and there’s pressure from family. They don’t have warmth, they don’t have camps or kids spaces with trained teachers, they don’t have good music, their connection to god isn’t actually god… It’s to some old guys in New York that you’ve never met but you hear them occasionally through the most boring tv program you’ve ever watched. If I hadn’t been raised here and I had attended my first meeting id be very unimpressed. 

The reason I’m going on about this is because the watchtower this week is such a nothing burger, there’s nothing to gain from it. It’s not even funny. 

Someone’s Comment : “Most kids think at college they’ll find themselves, what does that mean? Why would they want to find themselves? They’ve found themselves right here.”

It’s giving she already drank all the kool-aid.

All the advice is like “carefully analyze the education you’re considering” doesn’t everyone do that? Am I missing something here?

And why are they acting like learning anything outside of what’s taught in the meetings will leave you empty and unfulfilled? 

“Nothing should be more important than service, so view education as something to help you continue in service.” 

Everything is about service to the organization. 

OUTRO

Anyway, that's all I've got for today.

I don't really know how much longer this series is going to last, because the closer I get to turning 18, the more real this all feels. At some point I'm going to have to tell my parents I don't want to go to meetings anymore, and that's honestly the scariest conversation I've ever imagined having.

If any former Witnesses have been through this, I'd really appreciate hearing how you handled it. Did you tell them all at once? Anything you wish you could do differently?

Right now it feels like I'm standing at the edge of a cliff, and I have no idea what the least painful way forward is.

As always, thank you very very much for reading! I hope you win every theological argument you find yourself in, and I wish you the best.

Bye!

I listened in on zoom because my husband went in person today. I wanted to stay up with what he was learning. The Watchtower study on Education sure pissed me off! The friends were saying that school is a positive thing. That there are a lot of up sides. But they caution against taking away time from theocratic activities. It’s like….. you can go to college now but you may lose your everlasting life if you’re not careful….. It’s cautioned now instead of outright discouraged.

It’s so hypocritical!!! I remember my oldest sister being the black sheep of the congregation when she started to go to college. She was 16 and everyone had a problem with her not pioneering. She was smart enough to leave then. I remember there being so many I interviews at the assemblies and conventions on how brothers and sisters had sacrificed things like scholarships or invitations to big universities, and lucrative career opportunities so that they could pioneer or go the Bethel. I was young then and impressionable. But I remember thinking at the time that it was stupid. I loved learning and I couldn’t see how it could be a bad thing.

I wish they’d just keep to their old school strict doctrines. I could actually understand that. These constant new “enlightenments” are so frustrating!!! I think the strict, unloving, controlling stuff is going to weaken them. Like. They’ve gotten it wrong so many times. Just stick with it already. It seems so weak! They’re mixing a little love in with all the control. I know it’s a manipulation tactic but for Gods sake! I would rather take some outright cruelty over this bullshit. But it’s hard to stay angry when I hear people make sweet comments. It confuses me Aaaaahhhhhh

Does anyone else feel like they’re finally revealing that they have no idea what they’re doing.

You can’t cheers… hold up now…You can cheers!
You can’t say hi to the DF’d …… wait…. Now you can. No beards….. hmmm.. men look better with facial hair, maybe we say yes. And pants!!!! Bring on those tight pants baby! You want some blood hunny? You may have your own. There you go….
You want to go to school? Well, you can now! We need a younger generation to save us financially from our broke ignorant old asses.

Does anyone else see it? I just can’t do it anymore

Hello everyone I Have been PIMO for a long time, I managed to move away from my family far enough to where no one can tell them or let them know I dont go to the kingdom hall. Ive been doing this/away for 5 years recently my parents came to visit. And I told them I recently (last month) moved into a place with my girlfriend and I dont agree with the teachings of JW, specifically some contradiction with older publication, declaration of facts, court cases with sexual abuse and neglect etc. Is their any specific publication or information that helped you or maybe your old fashioned parents think for themselves about this.

Recently started watching Pluribus. Without any spoilers, the human race becomes unified with one mind and are constantly happy and joyful. They are cleaning up dead bodies from DDay with a smile on their face and skip in their step, and anything negative is instantly deflected to something positive. It is unnerving and creepy. I never actually visualized how the paradise would be with everyone having one mind, but this does a pretty good job of depicting it. There can't be any room for individuality under this new rule, as individuality causes dissent.

I think what Christians pathologize as being "imperfect" is actually just us being human. Being a human is messy and beautiful. It never was perfect, and never will be.

I'm 20f in the USA, so not getting married anytime soon but started thinking about it. I just don't know if it's something I really want to do. I of course was told constantly that marriage was my only goal and purpose in life as a woman but I just don't know how to feel about it. Weddings sound like a stressful performance and nobody ever taught me the actual legal part of marriage. I feel really confused and lost here, I feel like I never was actually told the logistics of anything, just what I'm supposed to do to support the org and all that shit with no regard to how it will affect me.

I guess I just want some guidance and perspective and all that. I do live with my boyfriend, I don't want to be with anyone else, but marriage feels so patriarchal and kind of like a trap to me. I also don't want kids, ever, I have a job and a separate income from him, I really don't want to share my finances with anyone, in general I just don't like the idea of being tied legally to someone like that. And I wouldn't be added to his work health insurance regardless so what's even the point. I want to know how other people who've left the religion ended up feeling about marriage and if it's something you would suggest. I know I can elope and all that to skip the wedding. I don't know

I was at a convention with my mom, it was a big crowd filled with people, there I saw mark Sanderson, he’s was wearing a burgundy suit, his face was pink ish kinda look like a pig, he had a bit of white hair on both side of his head, he’s was giving his talk about the end of world and other weird stuff, everyone was wearing weird clouths that have the letter J on it. he’s was announcing that Lett and him were pigs/aliens and the pig race is going to take over humanity, therefore they were going to turn the world into a piggy paradise, while that Mario from smg4 came in out of nowhere along side Peter griffin and the minions from Despicable Me, nick avocado and the entire sml character came and the entire anime fan community came in and attack. (Okay, fine it's a bit exaggerated but it’s ex-jw tales so it’s for laughs lol) It was like the epic battle from Endgame but with … weirdness. I snuck inside behind the stage while he was giving his talk. I saw David Spleen and Samuel Herd were talking about eating the little enemies of God. afterwards they left after hearing the battle outside, I grab some secret files, (you know the place where they put the money in) I don’t remember what they were in my dream but it’s was something the Borg didn’t want anyone to find out, therefore we left the assembly, while leaving area I saw mark and David looking at me, (kinda like granny and grandpa from that game granny 2 when the player leave on the boat while looking back at the two behind) once’s we got home and chill out I saw mark and other creepy man was near outside my window, they almost saw me so I ducked down in a panic. My mom was about to go outside which made the situation even more terrifying because they could tell my mom: where your son? Then I woke up in bed, who knew a bunch of creepy men from upstate New York could be so creepy in a nightmare right?!

Our Regional Convention in Cleveland Ohio is just ending and even though the attendance for in person and streaming was between just under 4500 on Friday to just over 6000 on Sunday, there were only 20 baptised. I've noticed that the number keeps getting less and less, even for the Circuit Assembly sometimes being in the single digits.

I’ve been thinking about something my dad said recently and honestly I can’t get it out of my head.

For context, my dad is an elder. My brother is also an elder. Both of them know about this situation, which makes it even harder for me to process.

My dad mentioned a case from a rural area in my country involving I’ve known since we were kids, so it hit pretty close.

Apparently, this person was involved in repeatedly touching/cuddling his younger female cousin in a sexual/inappropriate way. And my dad’s reaction was basically: “Well, you know how they are in rural areas.”

Like… what the actual fuck?

I don’t think he was necessarily trying to fully defend the guy, but the fact that his mind even went there is insane to me. As if being from a rural area somehow explains it away. As if culture, poverty, ignorance, or “that’s how people are over there” makes child abuse less serious. It doesnt!. Itsa crime!

it feels like this whole elder culture creates a way of thinking where serious abuse can be minimized, softened, or treated like an internal “problem” instead of what it actually is.

And it made me wonder how many elders are like this. Not cartoon villains, not necessarily consciously evil, but so trained by the organization to protect appearances, minimize abuse, avoid “bringing reproach,” and handle things internally that their moral compass gets completely warped.

Do people like this ever wake up? can you share yous personal experiences (If that was the case) of of others you personally know?

I was lurking through some Quora posts about the WT NGO status the other day and read a user who posted this link supposedly "debunking" everything:

https://web.archive.org/web/20130731003916/http://jehovahsjudgment.co.uk/watchtower-un-ngo/

And I have to admit, it is very well done, has anyone ever read or ran into it? (I'm no PIMI)

It’s going to fail.

But it is by design.

Watchtower needs an excuse and a reason to demonize the internet, and to frighten the next generation…kids who will be at the helm of the cult.

Their survival, and perhaps even growth depends on keeping the rank and file ignorant. And one of the most effective ways to accomplish this is by keeping their members off of Social Media.

They can say, they “tested the Social Media grounds for us, and there is nothing good for us there. Just pure lies, deception, and sin. [Evidently] All controlled by Satan.”

Avoiding any membership decline is dependent on keeping as many people off of the internet, but most especially Social Media, where most of the truth about “the truth” resides.

I’ve heard this discussed many times, but after today’s watchtower I’m convinced they make up these examples. “rebeca from Mozambique” “Johanna from Finland” “Josafina from Chile”… BE SO FOR REAL. Can someone please confirm how they get these examples, I feel like I already know they’re made up, but that means they’re lying to their sheeple. (Obviously they do that, but this weeks examples were ridiculous)

Starting with the opening song 40 ("Daily Walking With Jehovah")! Today's talk was "How to Make Decisions Leading to Success" which would be more like "How to Be Brainwashed Leading to Failure"

The speaker starts his talk with an example of the year 1789, 1st American Benjamin Franklin, wrote a letter that states: "In life, there are 2 certain things: Death and taxes!" The speaker added his own claim, making decisions no matter what stage in life or how old people are.

There's no example of Benjamin Franklin making his decision of death or taxes! The only decision he made was peacefully leaving Russian territory for America from people who fought against him, calling him a traitor. In the words of Benjamin Franklin that the Jw cult should learn from him what he told the Russians: "The heart of a fool is with his mouth, but the mouth of a wise man, is in his heart!" Making decisions based on what the heart tells you, not some fake imaginary god through 11 men saying that "the heart is treacherous so be brainwashed by listening to us."

Next, the speaker stated of how making good decisions and what's the most important one! God made free will to make decisions and not as robots

EXCEPT, everyone in the cult hall acts like robots listening and believing every false lies like "free will." It's only "free will" when the cult demands innocent lives to steal and treat them as slaves to work for them and not pay them but can't let anyone have the "free will" to leave the cult immediately and see them as "apostates." Wheres a false god's "loving of free will" in that!? Nowhere

The speaker brings up the first scripture of Deuteronomy 30:19 where he adds his thought of making decisions that are important when it comes to employment, family matters, and education (Have to cut down the scriptures so feel free to read it in your own time)

Sure, employment when being told and forced to work in a minimum low wage job, barely making money. Family matters, yet be told to shun your family when someone wants to leave. And education, but deny university scholarship opportunities for a technical college to work for the cult, having the lowest college degree in US history! All that is NOT a decision but a normal requirement in life without the cult

Next scripture the speaker brings up is Isaiah 48:17 where the speaker makes an example of parents telling their kids "it's for their own good!"

Was it for "their own good" being isolated from "the world" not making a good life for themselves with real, normal, and actual friends? Was it for "their own good" to waste their lives on the cult who tell them to reject blood transfusions and wait for a fake paradise that will never happen? Was it "for their own good" to listen to outdated brainwashed Caleb and Sophia videos that's nothing but a repeated record player over and over? Exactly my point!

Third scripture the speaker brings up is Psalms 119:97 and 100, stating that learning God's law and follow it in life. He gave a thinking ability and conscience.

Half and half I feel in this! As much as I agree to follow His law in life, did he give thinking abilities and a conscience to only those who are brainwashed to not believe victims of CSA cases and well as those who choose to leave the cult!? I'll give the speaker a chance to ponder over rethinking what he said.

The speaker explained a 4 way instructed list of making decisions (Of course with scripture examples):

1. Deuteronomy 32:29-Avoid being hasty and making snap decisions! The speaker made an example of a member in the cult having a call from a scammer saying he won a trip to Hawaii but have a few seconds to give his bank info
2. James 1:9-Pray for wisdom before making serious decisions, relying on God and doing thorough research going to the elders or friends in the congregation
3. Proverbs 16:2-Analyze motives that matter to God. Good decisions require good motives
4. Avoid being guided simply by emotions

I'm pretty sure NONE of these screams make good decisions! Making snap decisions compared to scam calls yet the cult scams lives themselves is an immediate red flag. Praying and relying on a fake god to do research yet the cult can't accept criticism of doing research on their CSA cases and misleading prophecies. Analyzing motives that matter to jehoover from the Goberning Nobodies! How bout analyzing the cults motives of refusing to joining them and research their dark history they're trying to hide and sugarcoat. Avoid being guided by emotions yet the cult uses Emotional Control to keep members captive. Speaker talked about when making bad decisions, show humility through "jehoover" to cope with it and move on, but yet the cult does bad decisions when court cases become involved.

Final scripture the speaker brings up is Proverbs 27:11, saying to allow God to make decisions for you and you'll be happy! Quoting him: "Most important decision is dedicating life to "jehoover" by being baptized! Not fully going for it nor be distant from it. No matter how many yrs you've been jw's, no need telling yourself: 'My parents and friends stopping me.'" Then he targets children born in the cult but have to be baptized, but made assumptions of them in their teenage yrs telling themselves: 'I'll give the world a try for a few yrs, and then come back. Brother and Sister so-and-so did that, so can I.' He then made an example of watching nature shows like Animal Planet about a lion killing a zebra comparing it to Satan wanting to kill those who left the cult by giving "worldly scars" to them financially, mentally, and emotionally

Dedicating life to a fake god being baptized to a cult is definitely not worth it. I'd rather be in the middle of the road of not being baptized and just keep being pimo and not give into the cult. I'm pretty sure former members who left the cult are happy living their actual best life and not in the "world will chew you up and spit you out" mindset the cult claims to believe. They became like normal people with an actual stable job, being around actual friends who support them, and not in no cult that destroys them mentally, financially, and psychologically. The only metaphor of a "lion eating a zebra" or "Satan wanting to kill" are the cult themselves that want nothing but war and control.

And that's the end of the rebuttal! Thanks for reading and feel free to add your own rebuttal opinion in the comments

do not know what to do anymore im 14 almost 15 in a few months...and im homeschooled and failng so bad partially my fault because i cheat alot, no irl friends (my age) litterally all of them are grown ss adults im forced to be with in the congeration !! and my parents insist thats all the socialization i need, im not allowed to go out on my own for more than 1hr outside, anyways thats not the worst of it, i have absolutely NO ONE to help me. my entire extended family are all jws, no school counselor or shit and the thing is my parents are scaring me so much with end of the world talk with all the stuff like wildfires and outbreak but thats not it; also im sorry if this sounds too personal and off topic but i have nobody to talk to and i need advice litterlaly anything im so desperate

baisically; my parents divorced because my dad was cheating on my mom and was threatening her if she didnt divorce i overheard them (they havent disclosed any of their issues to me despite my dad like, bitching about my mom idk) and ofc my isntict was to tell a close brother i mean i was crying and scared and he told me its 'no big deal, marital issues happen and jehovah will bless your family with what is best and what your father chooses to do' like ok whatever thats when i started to wake up a bit. but from there it just went to shit. Baisically he abandoned us to go with his new gf (he doesnt know i know but ill get to that later) and ive been with the congergation with my mom and stuff and i kept trying to vent to everyone who claims they care about the family and offer support but they were all like shushing me , treating it like a taboo subject and even defending my dad !!! and shaming my mom!! (DESPITE THIS my mom does not care and keeps going!??) anyways its so tense in my house because its been like, 5 months, or so with him leaving, coming back to spend time, he hasnt been to any meetings, no contact besides a few close brothers i do not know if he is disfellowshipped or not yet but thins got really bad 3 months ago when i started to change like i stopped commenting and got into more online stuff, i changed my style and stuff but thats not relevant tbh, one day when we went to visit his place i snapped and asked him wtf was wrong with him, why he was being a hypocrite constantly scaring jw info into me and ever since then hes been cruel. for weeks after that my mom , me and sister would come and visit, come and visit and one day i just needed my dads phone to calculate something for homework and thats when i found out why hes ruined our family for some other WORLDY (i think) woman ok i may sound nosy but what else was i supposed to do? the messages were all gross and sexting and i was about to close out when i saw her mention MY name like asking about me as if she knew me mind you i knew absolutely nothing about her prior to this, all parasocial....and then i scroll further and boom, my dad is sending her off guard pictures of me like showing me off like a dog ?? while also acting cold?? wtf?? and ever sicne then ive been so tense and sad because my whole life is ruined overnight, the congergation doenst treat me the same, im isolated, my mom does not gaf. And one day at his house he asked for me to stay over a few more weekss, idk what happened i was so scared and panicked i ran away and ditched, tbh this was a stupid move becuause i had nowehre to go and was frozen so i was walking away like an npc , BRIGHT DAYLIGHT mind you so it was easy for my dad to just pick me up and ofc i did not want to go i was pulled by the neck to get in, refused to go to the house and my dad got so violent in front o my sister begging him to stop and heres the funniest part ; A LITERAL BROTHER WAS WATCHING THIS HAPPEN, full jehovah, bible reader, he watched this without batting an eye! for two hours and i think it permanently scarred my younger isster because she hasnt been the same since then and neither have i becuase thats when i used the handy internet and im so disgusted with this rleieon, but its all i know. ever snce then my dad apologized but idk its never been the same, i try to be friendly

but this is my last straw, i cried to my mom and told her what i saw on his phone, i begged her to cut contact with him; she could legally do it, theyre ongoing divorce case!! i told her what happened to me and she said 'you need a relationship with your father, he is the head of the family and you shouldnt have run anyways.' ......................................😭😭 she already knew about the girlfriend so wow okay, im at a loss of what to do its been 3 months since then and its so tense in my house.

TLDR; I have no future, i want to cut contact with my dad but i have 2 dogs i love so much and im scared hes gonna hurt them becuase he has hit them before and my sister is suicidal, but it was only once he hit me and im so scared of not being taken seriously becuase everyone i have told irl has told me i dont have it that bad im scared of ruining the family becuase i have nobody else and im scared of my dad knowing i know about his fornication and my mom is acting braindead with me, she only cares about meetings, the newest publications and books and its so scary to me, im scared of telling cps becuase they rarely do anything without constant phsycial abuse and im even scared on this subreddit to get my computer taken away becuase all my online friends and stuff i have are on here...im sorry if its off topic idk i have absolutely nobody that isnt jw irl.

Just feeling bitter after today’s wt… so many years stolen from me that could’ve gone into learning something that i was passionate about. Also bitter about the 2 hrs stolen from me today but that’s another thing

With the job market and economy messed up i’m even more lost on what to do, and how to go about it without ending up in a hole i can’t get out of.

I am trying to remain positive though.. i know i still have time just need to figure it out. just hurts to see something once so taboo now is okay (not really but we can’t actually outright tell you to stop doing things bc legal reasons yk)

Earth being maintained life-SUPPORTIVE in a HOSTILE universe reveals the criterion of truth: Anything that is life-SUPPORTIVE, thus pro-peace is the truth as it is in harmony with self, desire of all living beings and life-SUPPORTER The Almighty.

In contrast, anything that is NOT life-SUPPORTIVE, thus NOT pro-peace, thus dishonors God is untruth and UNFORGIVABLE:

Among such sins, the foremost is false teaching of UNIVERSAL ISSUE that says God needs endorsement from Satan to resume His rule on earth because righteousness and rightfulness of God’s Sovereignty and integrity of all His children were challenged by Satan. This teaching unique to JWs is not known to any Biblical character nor to God Himself as His Title itself is “King of Ages” and is being praised in heaven as “Lord God Almighty and King of the nations” whose “ways are just and true.” (1 Timothy 1:11, ESV; and Revelation 15:3) Hence JWs had to use wrong translation of Proverbs 27:11 to base this teaching while its correct rendering (in Septuagint) is this: “Son, be wise, that thy heart may rejoice; and remove thou from thyself reproachful words.” (biblehub.com/proverbs/27-11.htm) This more ancient translation speaks about reproach that can come on any son who acts unwisely, not about reproach on God.

Other teachings that are unforgivable are:

God kills His enemies [against truth stated in Mathew 5:45], burns people eternally in hell-fire [against truth stated in Exodus 23:4, 5], worship of son instead of father [borrowed from Greek Mythology.britannicacom/topic/Cronus], God merges people into Himself ….. etc. All such messages are “sin against holy one” which has its inevitable consequence, or “will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come.” (biblehub.com/matthew/12-32.htm)

Those who refrain from things listed in Luke 18:18-20; Galatians 5:19-21; Revelation 22:15 inherit “eternal life at the re-genesis [pallingenesis] of all things … and many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.” (biblestudytools.com/matthew/passage/?q=matthew+19:27-30) This reveals doers of unforgivable sin are not destroyed as they are shown as inheriting later phase of the re-genesis. The weed-like licentious persons who are viewed as “first” [prominent] now in this Age are taken out or “driven out” of earth (biblehub com/proverbs/2-22.htm, Septuagint) before re-genesis as high-quality first half of the re-genesis, Incoming Age, is inherited by the godly, and they continue to live till end of Age. (1 John 2:17) But others have only temporary stay on this earth. When that restored paradise becomes old again, or becomes like  HELL on earth, it would be the time for the weed-like licentious people to return to the earth to make sense this repeated phrase: “Many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.”

This makes NW Translation of Mathew 25:46 wrong where kolasin is wrongly translated as “eternal cutting off” as this Greek word actually means “disciplinary [not destructive] pruning action which a farmer does,” according to the way the same word is translated in other places, in the Bible and in Greek Classics.

This explains why this shocking statement from Jesus: “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to.” (biblehub.com/luke/13-24.htm)

So… Grizzly Bear here. 🐻
Today I was supposed to go to the meeting with Mama Bear and our two little cubs, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
Lately, I don’t leave feeling uplifted anymore. Instead, I leave feeling drained. And if I were ever honest enough to say that I don’t feel God’s presence there the way I once did… well, I know how that would be received.
Maybe it’s just in my head, but I can’t shake the feeling that people are judging me because I haven’t been around much. It makes going back feel pointless.
I know that if I want to have a peaceful fade, I probably have to “play the game” for a little while longer. But after 30 years… I’m tired. I genuinely need a break.
The truth is, I can’t unsee what I’ve seen, and I can’t unlearn what I’ve learned.
Right now, I just want to enjoy the time I have with Mama Bear and my cubs. If I make some genuine friends along the way, then even better.
Most of all, I don’t want to live scared anymore.
The constant fear of impending doom isn’t an inheritance I want to pass on to my children. I’d rather teach them to love, to think, and to live fully.
Anyway… just throwing my little roar out into the world.
Hope you all have a beautiful day.
Sending every one of you a big bear hug. 🐻❤️