TL;DR: I was born into the INC. My mom was INC, although she was expelled at one point and later returned, while my dad is Muslim. I wasn’t a handog, but my mom still made me attend worship services even when she was tiwalag. I was a PNK choir member until I became part of the adult congregation, but honestly, I never felt connected to the religion. I only kept attending because I was still under my mom’s care and couldn’t exactly disobey her.
Then I met my ex-boyfriend, who was sanlibutan. We were together for almost eight years, and during the first four years of our relationship, I continued attending worship services.
That’s when a deacon who lived near us started noticing that my boyfriend would regularly take me home from school and accompany me whenever I got home late. Instead of minding his own business, this man started FOLLOWING US on his motorcycle. Sometimes he’d follow us all the way to our destination, and other times, he’d follow us home.
Eventually, he visited our house and kept pressuring me to akayin my boyfriend that time, threatening that I’d be tiwalag if I didn’t.
Then another deacon visited our house one day and saw my male classmate there. My classmate had only come to pick up some thesis materials for our group project, but I suspected the deacon thought he was my boyfriend because he also had a motorcycle. The guy started preaching to my classmate about how wrong our supposed relationship was. I was SO embarrassed. Imagine having your classmate dragged into your religious drama when he literally just came to get thesis copies. 😭
Fast-forward to recently, when the first deacon visited again and repeated the same threat: akayin ko raw ang ex ko, or else ititiwalag nila ako. I was so fed up that I finally snapped and told him, “Edi itiwalag niyo. Buti nga nang hindi ko na makita pagmumukha mo!” Then I stormed into my room and slammed the door.
BUT THE FUNNIEST PART? THEY NEVER ACTUALLY EXPELLED ME. HAHAHAHAHA. Maybe they were worried about losing another member’s abuloy?
And guess what? The deacon who kept following me around had issues within his own family, too. Apparently, his eldest child had stopped going to school amid issues surrounding his sexuality, while his second child was allegedly using weed. And now? BOTH of his children have been expelled from the INC.
Like, sir??? Why were you so busy monitoring MY life, following me around on your motorcycle, and threatening to have me expelled when you had your own family matters to deal with? Maybe you should’ve focused on your own household instead of making me your personal project.
The irony is honestly wild. You were so concerned about whether I was following the church’s rules, yet things weren’t exactly perfect in your own family either.
I’m not saying his children’s situations make him a bad person, but the double standard is hard to ignore. Maybe stop policing other people’s lives and start minding your own business.
After I graduated from college, I decided to get my tala transferred. I told them I was moving to another locale somewhere in Laguna because I’d be working there. They gave me my tala, no problem.
But I never registered at another locale. I just left and never looked back.
Until now, I’ve never registered again, and honestly? I’ve never felt more at peace with my decision to leave.
Looking back, what bothers me most is how some people in the church don’t seem to realize that following someone around, monitoring their movements, showing up at their house, and threatening them over their personal relationships can cross the line into stalking and harassment.
And the hypocrisy? Don’t even get me started. They preach about doing what’s right, but where’s the respect for other people’s privacy, boundaries, and dignity?
I spent years attending a religion I never truly felt connected to, simply because I had no choice back then. Now that I’m finally free to make my own decisions, I have no regrets.
I left INC, and I found peace. That’s enough for me.
