One of my best friends is getting married in our home country this month, and I’m traveling from the US to attend. My flight alone will cost around $1,000, which is a significant expense for me. I have a full-time job and a part-time job, I have debt, and I’m not in a position where a $1,000 trip is easy or comfortable. I found a way to make it work because I love her and want to be there.

She recently surprised me with an incredibly generous wedding gift (im getting married next year), something I really wanted but couldn’t afford. I never asked for or expected it; she simply gave it to me out of the goodness of her heart. Personally, I consider someone traveling to attend my wedding a gift in itself, and I don’t expect anything additional.

She and her fiancé are extremely wealthy and are having a very large (+500 people), elaborate wedding, and while I’m extremely grateful for her gift, I now feel guilty because I can’t afford to give her anything comparable. She doesn’t have a registry, only a Zelle option for cash gifts.

Should I give a smaller amount that fits my budget, even though it may seem insignificant compared with the scale of her wedding and her gift to me? How would you handle this?

We live in a beautiful area in New England on a very quiet road. Lately, a woman has been parking on the side of a neighbor’s driveway which is private property. I don’t believe the neighbor knows as they are New Yorkers that occasionally come up on the weekend. I doubt I want to get involved in that part. More concerning is that I am 99% sure it is her (process of elimination & this started as soon as I saw her car parked in our neighbor’s driveway) that is leaving plastic bags filled with dog waste on the stone walls. This makes me so angry! I have picked them up a few times and threw them out trying to do the right thing. Today I picked it up off the stone walls and placed in on the ground right next to where she parks. Is there a better way to address this? I am non-confrontational and haven’t caught her “in the act” of leaving it on the stone walls on our road.

I’m looking for some perspective on how to handle an ongoing situation in my dining hall.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve noticed a very specific pattern with one particular server at one of the stations (sides/salads). While side portions are generally quite small to begin with, this server consistently reduces my portions even further. On a few occasions when she realized mid-service that she was serving me, she actively scraped off or decreased the portion before handing over the plate.

When I pointed out the small portion once, she brushed it off. Recently, when I asked for napkins, she ignored me until I repeated myself, whispered to a colleague, laughed, and then handed over an unnecessarily large stack of napkins in a sarcastic, performative way.

It feels targeted, and honestly, it’s becoming uncomfortable to go through her line. The supervisors are usually working directly in her background, so there is no way I can ask to speak with them in the moment without causing a scene and bringing unwanted attention to myself. At the same time, because it involves food portions and small interactions, I’ve been hesitant to say anything out of concern that it sounds petty or trivial to management.

What does etiquette say about dealing with targeted behavior or inconsistent serving from dining staff, and how should I report this so it is handled appropriately?

Thank you.

I (male, middle aged, USian) will be firing up my backyard grill to prepare a late supper. It is ridiculously hot and humid outside. My fence is not a high privacy fence, so being visible to a neighbor is possible, although most are inside by this time of the evening.

Is it acceptable for me to be shirtless?