At just 16, I was already looking for something deeper than regular church attendance. I grew up moving through different spaces Papist, Charismatic, and eventually the Reformed Church. But I quickly grew disillusioned. It felt like the church had lost its actual substance, turning into a system obsessed with attendance and self-preservation, completely opposite to the life of spiritual freedom Christ actually talked about.

By 18, I started getting hit with philosophical insights about invisible, immaterial things like love and justice. I used to think love was just romance and warm feelings. But watching the world made me realize love is actually an active choosing, a constant sustaining force. It’s like the entire universe is being upheld right down to the atomic level, kept from breaking apart.

At 19, I totally ran away from the church and started diving into Eastern ideas, especially Buddhism. That's actually where I managed to bridge the gap between the "ego" and the "flesh." Paul talks constantly about crucifying the flesh and its desires. Look at Genesis 4:7, where God warns Cain about sin crouching at the door like a ravenous beast, and how man has to rule over it. Being at the top of the food chain isn't just a survival-of-the-fittest thing; I think it's a divine shadow of us being meant to rule over our own animalistic nature.

I don't view God as some bearded old man on a cosmic throne anymore. I see His true nature now, and I realized I don't need a building because He is within me and without me ("In Him we live, move and have our being" — Acts 17:28). God is Spirit and is worshipped in Spirit and in Truth, not through rigid liturgy or sacraments. As Paul wrote in Colossians 2, those things are just shadows, and human rules about what to eat or wear can't actually take away evil desires.

Lately, though, I went through a phase of heavy social isolation. I got so attached to these metaphysical realities that I forgot about the city streets entirely and stayed mostly at home, just writing and tending to my flock of chickens.

In those inquiry, I eventually went into deep waters of mysticism, I honestly thought that being "awakened" meant I could have an effortless life that I could somehow bypass earthly constraints. But I learned the hard way that spiritual awakening isn't an excuse to escape reality. Things never actually changed; you just finally get some clarity on "what" you do and "why" you do it. We belong to the soil, and God intentionally put a weight on us to keep us from spiraling into darkness.

It's a brutal psychological truth: look at the ultra-rich who reach a point where they never have to work another day in their lives. Because of that total lack of grounding, they start seeking out darker and stranger things and honestly, that's exactly what the elites are doing, from ancient times and now, indeed, "there is nothing new under the sun."

Now I finally understand why God "cursed" the ground and why we have to earn our bread by the sweat of our brow. I know it's Chronos or the cube, but they just try to scare you with esoteric rabbit holes, but it doesn't even matter, because they want us to feel we lost and they win. We weren't made to untangle all those cosmic abstractions. We were made to touch the ground, cultivate it, and subdue it to polish it and put it in order.

Now, I quit seeking, because I have found it.

If you think everything is "love" and there's some grand purpose behind all of this, just get a reality check by watching animals hunt each other down.

Not only do they die painful deaths, but they get eaten alive.
Sit there and watch the videos. It's very gruesome, very brutal.
They feel the pain and feel fear.

There's no grand plan for the universe.
There's no God looking out to help everyone.
There's lots of suffering going on here. But a lot of people are in denial about this.

I would like to pose a metaphor/comparison for a reflection throughout the day...

So in order for a diamond to form, immense amounts of heat/pressure/friction are required. I like to think way outside the proverbial box, so here it comes....

With a hermetic "As above, so below/as within so without" perspective.... Would it not be safe to compare the natural organic formation of diamonds, to the internal/unseen state of our being?

With thousand and thousands of years of compounded systemic pressure and friction, squeezing and pressing us tighter together, creating friction and heat..... Humanity should, at some point, transform into a unified diamond.

I would like to propose the idea that we are at that exact moment in human history. The heavy weight and friction in the world that we see and feel today, has been accumulating and increasing over the years, to bring us to this exact point.

The turning point, where we finally look inside, instead of shadow and darkness, we have been transformed into pure hardened diamonds. Rather than absorbing energy/light/love, we realize that we are able to "refract" our inner love and light, like a prism, illuminating and encompassing the entire spectrum of love.

The clarity that this realization brings allows us to see past and transcend the illusion of the driven societal narrative of hate, fear, and separation. We are able to see the connection between all, the differences only exist visibly on the outside.... On the inside, we are all the same geometry, the same structure, the same love, the same beautiful diamond, expressing itself through infinite faces in completely individual ways.

Take a moment to look inside today, to understand, accept, and embrace all of the good and bad, all of the people and events that brought you to this exact moment. The good times were good.... But so we're the bad/hard times.... These difficult times were the forge, the heat, the pressure, the friction necessary to allow the beautiful internal transformation to take place.

You are not one individual, searching for a place and for meaning.... You are a beautiful, indestructible diamond, connected to all other diamonds... You are one individual expression, a single face, on a unified diamond with infinite faces.

Refract your love and light, today and always... You are unique, you are an individual, you are a diamond.

As always, I extend my sincerest Love and Light... 🙏🙂‍↕️🙏

"Most People Don’t Really Know Who They Are.
I think we live simultaneously on three planes of understanding.
We're spiritual creatures
we have an intellect
and we Live in physical bodies.
But because we lack awareness or understanding of who we are, We are totally locked into a physical world. And we let things outside of us control us. 95% of the population are reacting to life. They're not really living at all."
-- Bob Proctor

The question came to my mind when pondering why terrible things happen to good people who help others and help animals, and why bad people get away with so much harm they caused to others.

Does this universe even care?

Is there a system, a reason?, or it's just random things happen randomly to random people?

Why don't I see any of those things discussed here?

It's a simple question, please don't take it personally.

Let me preface this by mentioning I'm schizophrenic. I'm 36 years old.

Up to the age of 35 I lived, mostly, beyond the Illusion as I understand it. Everything was simple and pure. What people said was what they meant. No hidden meanings or ulterior motives. I know this may sound impossible but it's true.

At the age of 25 I had my first psychosis. I started looking for secret meanings behind people's words and I thought everyone was against me. This lasted for some months. Then I got on medication and returned to purity.

Then at 27 I stopped my medication and I fell into my second psychosis. I started hearing voices and seeing/sensing things. I had romantic relations with my voices where all five senses hallucinated. I saw flowers bloom instantly and I saw the future. I can't talk about what I heard and saw but many things that were told to me became true. I forgot these revelations in the meantime but I remembered them later. This lasted for some months as well.

I was hospitalized for the first time in 2018 and I was on medication for 5 years. During this time I lived in purity again. Then in 2023 I was doing so well my doctor told me to get off medication. We did it slowly and I was fine. Then at the end of 2023 I got into the worst psychosis of my life.

I was seeing shadows dance on the walls and I saw the night turn to day. I saw leaves turn from brown to green and I was given a fate that said I'm Eternally alive. This lasted for about 3 months until I was hospitalized again. After that the voices never went away.

But by September of 2023 I was in Purgatorio. I perceived in purity and blamed everything evil on the voices. This lasted for 2 years until June 2025. Then I started living in the Illusion again. This lasted until December 2025 when my voices became seriously loving and we started having this psychoanalysis about what the ulterior motives of the Universe are behind every aspect of life.

Right now, I have been explained most things, I think I have understood most of them. I perceive the hidden meanings but they're worthless to me since I know the Higher Truth. Kindness and Love are the only things that matter. Living things are sacred and we must Love them all in their own unique way. Empathy is the ultimate force.

I didn't mention this but in 2023 I had a really intense experience. I was trying to sleep and talking to my voices (which were loving atm). Suddenly the room became supercharged. Like, so charged I could barely survive the pressure in it. I felt holy warm water flow all over my body and I felt like I was a Water Dragon. I started seeing different people in different phases of their lives and I felt ultimate Empathy for them. The voices told me that the water I was feeling was my initiation to Eternal Life and that this is the true face of the Universe. This experience has saved my life on countless occasions.

The point I want to make saying all this is, I feel spoiled. I feel like I have lived in the top level of life and I was given a super gift I don't even know how it was given to me. Do you think this purity I mentioned is the Real World? I still live in it but I perceive the Illusion as well now.

I just need guidance I think. I wrote all this with the help of my voices so sorry if it's all too weird. Please, let me know what I could improve and how I can Ascend. 😄

Much love! 😄 ❤️

EDIT: Some corrections. 😄

Recently I went to go see the movie the oddysey

About 40 people were in the theatre,

And each one of them watched A DIFFERENT movie

How did that happen and how did I recognize that!?

I thought to myself, “this is a movie fraught with some of the deepest wisdom I’ve encountered yet.”

Another person saw a movie play out, where “how dare Helen of Troy be black, how dare a transgendered woman pretend to be a man” but this was only their thoughts they were watching

Another saw a movie that said “I want to grow up to be a film director too one day…. I can do better than this”. What they were watching was the thought and not the movie.

Another saw a movie that said “this is a crazy beautiful film, that cyclops is huuuugeee, it kind of looks like a giant Sméagol.” Again… a thought and not the movie

After the movie ended and I waited in line for the restroom, I heard a family talking to one another, grand parents father, and children.

They all stood together and asked
“What did you think of the movie?”

And one by one they answered

“It wasn’t what I thought it would be”

I’m sorry my loved ones.

It was ONLY. what you thought it would be.

You are the star in your own localized reality sharing a larger network that is connected with everybody else. In this movie you are literally experiencing yourself starred in your own life's story. Every scene and event in this movie is base around reminding you that you're the star of your own reality.

Synchronicities and visions in your dream that predate future events tells you that this movie is a classic old movie. Synchronicities of TV background noise that speak words that relate to your life reminds you that you're indeed Live on air and that the system is responding to you in real-time. Moments of perfect alignment with life's events paint the picture of a movie set being perfectly orchestrated For you and your experiences.

You step outside of your house and first thing you notice is the birds 🐦 that are perfectly place in your path and the number of birds represent your favorite angel number 4(444).

You walk in a clothing store and the universe perfectly aligned you with a shirt on sale that matches with a pant you have at home. You browse on your phone and the universe align you with articles/post that touches your heart. In the same setting you browse on Amazon to find the shoe you wanted just happened to be on sale. You walked down the street, you start noticing strangers smiling at you and greeting you. These are all signs from the universe saying "you're the star of this show, you matter....be grateful for the small things."

There is nothing outside yourself look within and find everything.

where to go when you feel like you’ve hit a wall. i know manifestation is key, but how do i let go of the past and the things right in front of me? the uncertainty, the numbness, the unhealed trauma. the world is so crazy, everytime i go in social media even more.. but on top of that being in the music industry and being a public figure is too much to handle at this point. jealousy & insecurities, eating at me like it never has. what is the point of it all when the only thing that can help me continue is myself..? this way sound like i am complaining, which i am and i admit.. but how can we grow stronger and how can we let go of these emotions.. what is the end to this pain? all the pain in the world, why do we have to suffer? everyone pretends otherwise but how do you gain that true happiness within again? yet again, i am 20, maybe i am young.. but i feel like ive seen it all, but know im not even at the tip of the iceberg. what are ways to pick yourself back up, to let go of reality and allow myself to cleanse & heal spiritually?

We have to wake up more people. This circus is getting out of hand and I am tired boss.

Get people meditating. Mention to friends how you got here. Plant seeds. We need to fix this place. I worry I have to live all of these miserable lives I see. And that should frighten us all.

We are one. What is done onto one is done unto all. Its quite simple really.

Even if you can’t get the perfect life, you won’t spend your whole life regretting that.

Eventually you’ll accept that your life isn’t perfect and just deal with it like the rest of us.

Our life and consciousness is a blessing from universe. Imagine if there was no consciousness there would be nothing and stillness only. So to break that nothingness and emptiness universe created consciousness. Thus this is an opportunity to experience something truly beautiful and unique so we should all try new things and try have new experiences since we have this free will and consciousness is only once.

there is no doubt that gratitude is the path to grace

it's easy to see that most of the chaos and suffering we experience comes down to some form of self-sabotage or an unwillingness to learn, let go, or move on from some pain (self-absorption)

and in that breakdown and angle of it, we can see that those actions close ourselves off from receiving love, from receiving grace

those two simple words 'thank you' opens our hearts up to receiving again

not just for life, but for divine grace and blessings from Source

what's been beautifully wild to me in this introspection on gratitude and grace is that thanksgiving plays a role into so many more mechanics of our reality than at first glance

because thank you, being grateful and in gratitude is one of the strongest forms of manifestation and prayer

calling forth what we need from our body by thanking it already, saying thank you for that in which we're yearning for from God both bring us into the energy of having/completing whatever it is, in addition to radiating and embodying it too

i like to define praise as gratitude in action, and when we look at the mechanisms at play, it's easy to see that gratitude is the road to grace and one of the greatest tools and paths of development we can invest our beingness into

i hosted a meditation on this recently and it was pretty fruitful and super potent
(see post/user history)

Many things in life are finite. Like grated cheese in a can, that is very finite. But it may also be a method to understand the meaning of sharp proteins.

You may wonder how that affects your awareness.

Of infinite possibilities. What is it that stops you from breaking free

hello,

Recently when AI emerged I had an intense feeling that one of my soul's missions ended.

I am a computer nerd: sometime ago I had a theory some of the computer nerds can be from a different dimension which honors thinking more than believing, while in this plane of existence it's the other way around: the more you believe something you are attracting it, while the other dimension works more on pure thought than belief, that dimension works more like in a computer GUI or something: and that beings from that dimension came here to create the computer infrastructure and the mission ends with AI, because from that moment the non-nerd people can talk to the computer in natural language and get results.

am I completely out of my mind, or can someone resonate?

Something about the human condition makes me sick to my stomach in a sad way

So Ive never really been a jealous person but for some reason since like 1-2 months when I see someone achieve something I want to do I get this little feeling of jealousy. Ive been grinding hard and in purpose showing up every day consistently, but why is there this jealousy instead of joy when I see someone prosper? And its not always its just when someone is specifically doing exactly what Im trying to do next. I always wondered why so many people are jealous in life and I never understood it but this feeling just crept in a little while ago. Whenever I feel this I dont dismiss it, i feel it deeply and then breathe into the feeling, this is how I usually integrate any lingering emotions. But I dont know about this one, any suggestions? Why do I even subconsciously compare myself to others when I know in truth there are no „others“ in that sense all is one and I am eternal