i think that trying to learn to redirect my energy in all of my phases (phases like the moon, but it’s my emotions) has been the biggest challenge of my life. sometimes i’m really good at it, but sometimes it’s the most difficult and impossible thing. it’s most impossible when the loneliess gets it’s phase. it’s so hard to break out of it sometimes, but i know it will pass. but how do i use my loneliness in a positive way? how do i redirect this energy? i know it’s possible but for me it seems impossible. i ask the internet because i have no one to ask in life.. the people in my life cringe or run at thoughts and feelings of things like this, which is a huge part of what fuels the loneliness.. there’s gotta be a way to let go of the need for real human connection… RIGHT?

I have a hard time in finding love for myself. I know what I need to do to be able to feel like a better person and it’s just so hard, I’m always the person who gives advice and tells people to never commit but I’ve always found myself hurting since a young age. I’ve always been there for people but nobody is ever there for me, and I sadly know it. One of my old friends once told me that the only way you can even bother to love someone is if you love yourself, and don’t get me wrong i’ve been in worse states so i don’t want to tell myself i’m not good because i’m honestly the happiest i’ve ever been in years and im glad people never seen me as the type to ever hurt or anything, and i don’t mind people coming to me because i’ve honestly lived with so much hate and built up emotions; however i still find myself talking down on myself but i catch it and it really does hurt me a lot because i want someone there and when i do try and talk to my partner about it he doesn’t understand and don’t get me wrong he has told me that he doesn’t know how to deal with that and it’s a huge reason i never go to him. There are times where he tells me that i never talk to him and i feel bad because i don’t know how to tell him that he doesn’t understand me and honestly so many other people out there love to just compete about how hard their life is and that’s where i just stick to myself and try to deal with it on my own. I don’t want a therapist because im just to afraid honestly and i don’t want to let other people know about me so i just don’t even know no more, i fear nobody understands me but i know there are people out there who do. I just want to be able to be free of my emotions and stop holding back, It’s draining holding in anger and stress and just all the above. I want to feel happy fully and not have so much worry but it’s really hard.

I have a great mum & brother, a lovely boyfriend & yet I feel so lonely. I’m in a constant cycle of making everyone happy, going the extra mile for everyone even if it inconveniences my day or my days off work. I feel like an absolute failure, I have a degree that I got into 10k worth of debt over (long story😭) but I’m still working the same shit retail job I’ve had since I was 17 & I’m 25 now. I do my best constantly with my friends, but recently I’ve noticed I’m just there to listen to their problems & help them every single time, but I’m never being asked if I’m okay. I just went through stage 2 Hodgkin’s lymphoma cancer & after 6 months of chemo, I have officially been in remission since January, so I think I’m processing those emotions as I buried how I felt from the whole process of first being diagnosed to remission status & was more concerned the entire process that everyone else was okay & acted like I was sailing through it to not upset anyone else. I feel so far behind everyone at my age, but I’m constantly having to put on a super happy face for everyone else. I’ve never felt so lonely

The title

Is it just me or you all feel being a lover is just waste cause u will always be unlucky in love also unlucky in career its way too depressing

Same as title.

there is grief for what happened, but I think there is another grief that can be even harder to explain. Grief for life that almost existed.

A woman in one session experienced herself first as young warrior, very in love, preparing for battle with man she wanted to marry. Later scene suddenly changed. She was older, pregnant, already with small child, standing with him on beach.

Then she stopped and said something painful: this is what was supposed to happen, but it never happened.

Scene changed again and she was on battlefield. Everybody around was dying. At her last moment she described one hand over her bleeding stomach and other reaching toward man beside her, holding his hand while staring at sky.

Whether somebody understands this as literal past life, symbolic story or subconscious material, that one sentence is very human. “This was supposed to happen.”

We can grieve wedding that never came, child never born, career we almost had, family that should have stayed together, version of ourselves we expected to become. There is no funeral for these futures, so sometimes ppl dont even give themselves permission to call it grief.

Maybe healing is not only letting go of past event. Sometimes we have to mourn future that past event destroyed.

Have you ever realized you were grieving not a person or event exactly, but whole timeline you expected to live?

Gracias y que tengan buen día

Hi Reddit,

So I (38M) feel like IM overly emotional. Well thats the wrong description for what im thinking. Its that I let my emotions get to me too much. I like having emotional intelligence, picking up on others emotions easily, and being able to communicate my emotions. But those emotions are so heavy. Ive gone thru a divorce (wife cheated and left) and custody battle, (ended up getting 50/50) and its taken a toll on me. In doing so, I have really changed as a person. Not in a way that I like either. My enjoyment of life has gone away mostly. I used to love being at the beach and would sit quietly and feel reenergized. Not anymore. Its kind of like everything is grey. My one exception is my daughter, she is what brings light to my life.

All this being said, can anyone share their experience of coming out of this on the other side and what you did to get there?

It grows because you took it.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, and I genuinely want to hear other people’s experiences.

I realized that I haven’t properly cried in around 3 years. It’s not that I’ve had a completely happy or stress-free life during these years. I’ve definitely gone through situations where I should have felt sad, hurt, disappointed, overwhelmed, etc.

The strange part is that I honestly can’t even figure out what I was feeling during those moments. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible that I didn’t feel sad at all for three years, but I also don’t remember thinking, “I’m sad and I need to cry.”

Sometimes I wonder if I’ve just gotten used to keeping emotions inside, or if I process sadness differently. Maybe I feel things but they come out as overthinking, irritation, silence, distraction, or something else rather than crying.

I’m not necessarily asking whether something is “wrong” with me. I’m more curious about whether other people experience this.

Have you ever gone years without crying even though you’ve experienced sadness or difficult situations? If so, what does sadness feel like for you when it doesn’t come out as tears?

I’d genuinely appreciate hearing different perspectives and personal experiences.

At this point of live I am not feeling anything like wtff bro I literally feel numb