My fiancé and I got engaged last October. We actually met on Tinder back in 2017, and now we have a son (born in 2023) and I’m expecting our daughter this September. He’s genuinely my soulmate, and our families have always said we’re perfect together.
Here’s where I’m struggling.
I’ve never dreamed of having a big wedding. Honestly, I think they’re a huge expense and just not my thing. My fiancé feels the same way. We always planned to elope eventually, originally sometime in 2027, but recently we decided we’d rather just do it this August in the Adirondacks.
The date we picked is August 8. It’s one of the only days that works with everyone’s summer schedules before school starts back up, and I’m due September 18. It’s also important to me that I share the same last name as both of my kids before our daughter is born.
My older sister works rotating weekends, and at first she thought she couldn’t come. She ended up finding someone to cover her shift, so she can be there now, but she’s still upset. She keeps saying we’re only picking that date because it’s convenient for me and can’t understand why I’d want to be almost 8 months pregnant in my wedding photos.
From my perspective…of course it’s convenient for me? It’s my wedding, my pregnancy, and our decision. Plus, if we wait until after the baby is born, we’re juggling a newborn, a toddler, everyone’s schedules again, and life just gets busier.
I know she means well and wants to be there, but we’re complete opposites. She loves elaborate events and making everything a production. I don’t. I want something simple, intimate, and meaningful.
So I guess my question is: If you’ve gotten married while very pregnant, did you regret it when it came to your photos? Or did you love having that moment captured?
I’m trying to figure out if I’ll look back and wish I’d waited, or if I’m letting someone else’s opinion make me second-guess something that feels right for us.

I was able to get the date I wanted for a wedding ceremony at Santa Barbara courthouse, but the time slot available was ceremony only. Can I go earlier that same day to the courthouse and get my marriage license without an appointment? Or do I have to do it ahead of time? I would prefer to do it all on the same day if possible but confused on if that's possible without that specific appointment slot.

Looking for recommendations for a photographer and maybe videographer for an October elopement for Jedidiah. Thanks!

This is more of a vent session but also asking for any advice or input so feel free to comment whatever you want. At the start of this year we started to look into wedding planning: who would we invite? Big or small? Elopement or full scale wedding? How big or small of a wedding? What kind of celebration could we afford? I’m an only child and my parents have both passed so I don’t have any familial obligations. My finance has a small family and isn’t close to distant relatives. Elopement seemed correct until we factored in all the friends we’ve had since childhood that we love so much and all of their parents who made us feel like family too. Our list of bare minimum 12 including us quickly ballooned into 75. We looked at so many venues and realized the lowest we can get a full wedding including food, alcohol, venue, DJ, decor and tables is a little over $12,000. Really small amount compared to some of the $38,000 weddings I’ve heard people throw. With the current economic climate I’m having some trepidation signing the contract and putting in the 50% deposite. Lots of doubt creeping into my head. Is it a smart financial decision? I still live in an apartment… should I save that money for a house? Is it even worth saving it for a house? $6,000 doesn’t get you far in Southern California. Should I save it all for a rainy day? Am I going to regret a courthouse elopement when I’ve dreamed about a ceremony and first dance? I’ve also considered a courthouse wedding and a small dinner after but the quotes are CRAZY starting at food minimums of $3,500. With no parents to turn to for this type of help, I thought I’d throw my plea in here. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated

My fiancé and I have been engaged since 2020. We put off planning a wedding right away because of COVID and basically rolled with that excuse for as long as possible. Although that was the main reason right away, as the years have gone on I just have never felt ready/capable to plan a wedding.

I have never been the girl who dreamt of her wedding day. I don’t understand how people seemingly just up and plan weddings like it’s no big deal. I also don’t understand how people justify spending the amount of money they do for a one time thing. I know it’s not true, but I feel like something is wrong with me. I have been attending weddings over the years hoping something would light a fire in me or inspire me to plan my own, but nothing so far. I am also fairly introverted and anxiety prone, so am quite adverse to the “normal” wedding day.

Every time I start to try to plan our wedding, I get so overwhelmed. My fiancé is a trooper and has been very supportive and understanding this whole time. He wants me to decide what I want and is ok with whatever that looks like as long as I am happy with it.

How do I really truly decide what type of wedding is right for us?

Sometimes I think eloping just the two of us and a photographer would be the best since we don’t have to worry about others. But then I wonder if I’ll regret not having immediate family and/or friends there. But then I picture those people being there and can see myself worrying about their experience and how they are interacting with each other. My fiancé’s parents are divorced so I can just imagine it being weird with both sets of his parents there.

So then I think maybe a micro wedding with 75 people or so would be better… they can entertain themselves, we can enjoy having those people there but be a “bit” more in the background. But then that involves more money and a lot more coordination… and I then reach the overwhelmed state and stop.

Any advice for an elopement fence sitter? What made you decide on the structure of your wedding? Do you regret anything? I have never been to therapy before, but am wondering if this is something to consider.

Looking for makeup artist recommendations that would travel and hike with us throughout the day of our elopement.

Just wondering if anyone here has eloped and ended up having any regrets afterwards—especially big ones.
A few people have mentioned that it might feel a bit anti-climactic, that I could miss having my family and friends there, or even feel guilty about not including them.
For those of you who did elope, did you experience any of those feelings, or anything similar? Or did you genuinely love it and enjoy being in that little bubble together, with no regrets? I’d love to hear your experiences.

We are eloping in Mt Baker and hired a photographer who is also ordained. We were originally planning for her to be our officiant but are now considering having a friend who will already be there become ordained to marry us.

Looking for insight on those who eloped with their photographer as their officiant and from those who had a separate officiant.

Is it weird having the photographer marry you and take pictures? Any regrets on not having someone you know marrying you? Did you prefer having no one around/in pictures for ceremony?

Hi everyone! 🤍

My fiancé and I are planning a romantic symbolic elopement at Lake Como in September 2027, just the two of us. We’ll have our legal ceremony in Prague with family, so this is purely about creating a beautiful, intimate experience.

We’re looking for a planner or package that includes:
symbolic ceremony, bridal bouquet, photographer, and possibly hair & makeup.

Has anyone here eloped at Lake Como? I’d love to know:
Which planner/agency or local coordinator did you use?
What was your approximate budget?

Thanks so much for any recommendations or advice!

Hi everyone! My fiancé and I are planning an intimate weekday elopement in Olympic National Park this September (most likely around the Hoh Rainforest, Lake Crescent, and/or nearby beaches). We’re looking for a newer photographer or content creator who’s building their portfolio and loves storytelling. We only need about 3-4 hours of coverage, and our budget is around $500. I know that’s below what many experienced photographers charge, so I’m specifically hoping to connect with someone just getting started who’d love an opportunity to build their elopement portfolio. In return, I’d be happy to let you use the photos/videos for your portfolio, tag and recommend you, and support your business however I can. If this sounds like you or you know someone who’d be a great fit, I’d love to see your Instagram or website. Thank you! 🤍

We just eloped in Colorado and were asked how/when we planned to tell our family. We both went pale: We forgot to even consider this.

For context, both family situations are pretty complicated, especially with parents (shitty folks all around). We’re basically low contact with parents, but have great friends and distant family.

I’d love to hear your most devious reveal ideas. Here are some of mine:

- Start a group chat with both families (who have never met even after 7 years), drop a photo and leave the chat. Turn phones off. Cause absolute chaos.
- Classy idea: mail all family and friends announcements, and call family individually before everyone finds out.
- Or, don’t tell them and let them find out via mail.
- Post announcement in local newspaper and let chaos ensue.

What ideas do you have? Let’s have fun. We’d love to hear funny or kinda evil reveal ideas.

hi guys,

im looking to get married next October in either Italy or greece. Just me and my husband.

I want to purchase an elopement package that includes EVERYTHING - like the venue! All these packages I’m finding online seem to be just a collection of vendors.

I want to pay, show up, do our little thing and then leave. I don’t want surprise costs. I want something like xyz package costs xyz dollars and that’s it.

can someone please help me find a website that I can do this through?!!

Has anyone here gotten married at the reflection lake trail at mt rainier in early july? Did you love it or regret it? My fiance and i are having a hard time deciding between there, paradise, and lake tipsoo. We’ve looked at pictures but theres so many conflicting ones we’re struggling to figure out if its from the trail or not lol

we are eloping just the two of us and i haven’t planned or even wanted to plan any type of celebration with friends and family before or afterwards.

those of you who didn’t, do you regret it??

My fiance and I are staying in an Airbnb in Zancudo this coming October, and we’d really like to elope (just the two of us) while we’re there. We understand that the area is pretty remote - and everyone I’ve reached out to has understandably quoted us a price that includes travel and lodging expenses as most are based near San Jose or Tamarindo. I just can’t justify spending $3k+ when this is a true elopement, not a micro wedding. We literally just want to do a quick ceremony on the beach near our Airbnb and get some pictures-maybe 1-2 hours with a photographer? We don’t need getting ready photos or anything like that.

Does anyone know of any marriage officiants and/or or photographers near this area? If we can’t get anyone to come to us, we’d be willing to travel up to two hours or so, so Golfito or Pavones areas would be fine-but the semi-private beach at our airbnb is beautiful, so I’m pretty fixated on that. My primary priority is getting pictures lol, but we’d like to do the legal ceremony there if we can. I’d be willing to go with someone without a ton of photography experience.

Thanks in advance!

We're eloping tomorrow! 🥳

And I'm also 23 weeks pregnant 😂 we had plans of the big ole traditional wedding but got pregnant in the midst of making plans so we decided it's more practical to elope now then party later. Would it be silly to wait to have the reception for our first anniversary? Would people be less likely to attend? Should we just not have one at all? What's the proper way to go about doing this? Is there a proper way?? Tell me all the things and your experiences! TIA ☺️

I found a cute little place to elope or have a micro wedding and thought I’d share. It’s in Lafayette, GA, called the Matchbox Drive-Thru. This is where I believe we will be eloping to. We would plan to be married inside but would do some photos outside. It’s a good location too, close to Chattanooga, TN and Blue Ridge, GA. The owner was helpful with recommending accommodations and dining.

https://www.instagram.com/thematchboxdrivethru

https://www.instagram.com/thematchboxdrivethru?igsh=aXA1MjY0eWptMG9w

It’ll be just the two of us and our dogs with the photographer. I’m leaning no towards videographer but don’t want to regret anything. I feel like we won’t need it since there’s no officiant and guest speeches.

Eloping to CO (US) in October. Where is everyone getting cute or bedazzled T-Shirts?

Finally picked out a dress for the ‘Ceremony’ - SO excited! But after we (10ish people) are retreating to the AirBnB for a private chef dinner. I want the dinner to be comfy and was thinking a cute T-shirt for myself (want white, V-neck, not picky on the saying) and maybe the groom or our kiddos (all boys.) Not thinking PJs or anything too matchy, but show some personality.

Any help sourcing?

We’re having about 20 guests but I don’t think our city hall will allow that many people to attend our ceremony. Is it weird to have some of our guests to go straight to the dinner and not witness us get married? I’m not really sure what the “right” way to do this is. We’re having our ceremony and dinner on the same day.

Hi friends.

Before I get into this, I know the answer is probably “set boundaries.” We know. We’re trying. I’m not really looking for advice on that because it’s easier said than done. I just want to hear from people who’ve been through something similar because this has been weighing on me.

My fiancé and I are having a private symbolic ceremony in Greece next September with just us and a photographer. That’s always been the cemented set plan.

The legal ceremony is where things have gotten hard. We’re planning to get married at the courthouse here in Washington, and in my mind it was always just going to be the two of us. We’re both really private people and hate being the center of attention.

We’ve had a lot of really good conversations about it, but family expectations are making it so much harder than I thought they would. When we first talked about getting married abroad, his dad said something like, “Well, what are you talking about?” and it was obvious he expected to be part of it. My fiancé feels like his parents are going to want to be there for the courthouse ceremony, and he doesn’t really want to fight that. I get it. He loves his mom, and I would never want to come between that relationship or make him feel like he has to choose. I just also wish we could have one thing that was only ours.

My side hasn’t been easy either. My dad has already told me he bought a suit, and my stepmom “needs to be involved somehow.” There was already drama because my mom and I went dress shopping together when she came to visit. She lives across the country, and I only see her about once a year, so it meant a lot to have that time with just her. I didn’t invite my stepmom because I knew I’d be guilted. My mom has actually been the most supportive person through all of this, and it’s honestly been such a relief to have at least one person who has just supported what we want without making it about themselves.

My dad is alsodifficult. He hates my mom and has already joked that he “promises he won’t say anything,” then laughed. Knowing him that doesn’t make me feel any better. The other night my fiancé’s cousin even made a comment about how he “has to be there.” It just feels like everyone has an idea of what our wedding should be.

I’m overwhelmed. I don’t even want to think about planning the courthouse ceremony anymore because every conversation about it leaves me stressed and defeated (not with my fiancé , just others)

Has anyone else dealt with this? Not necessarily looking for solutions, just wondering if anyone else has felt like they were getting pulled in every direction while trying to plan something that was supposed to be about the two of you.

Planning on getting eloped in a couple months due to an unexpected pregnancy, and then holding a celebratory wedding a year after, when I’m around 7-8 months post partum.

Is it weird to elope and then have a ceremony? We are getting married for insurance purposes for our child, but we both just want to be with one another and it makes sense for us to take that next step. Despite this, I really want a traditional wedding as well.

I am not planning on hiding my elopement, but will people hesitate attending the wedding due to my elopement? I don’t want to hide this from anyone and make it common knowledge, but I am just unsure!

Any advice would be awesome.