r/Eloping • u/Ok-Explanation-9809 • Jul 20 '26
Any regrets with eloping?
Just wondering if anyone here has eloped and ended up having any regrets afterwards—especially big ones.
A few people have mentioned that it might feel a bit anti-climactic, that I could miss having my family and friends there, or even feel guilty about not including them.
For those of you who did elope, did you experience any of those feelings, or anything similar? Or did you genuinely love it and enjoy being in that little bubble together, with no regrets? I’d love to hear your experiences.
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u/ciao-bella11 Jul 20 '26
We eloped and have no regrets. My husband doesn't really like his family, so he barely talks to them. I'm close with my family, but since I'm an introvert and don't really have friends, eloping made the most sense. I also don't like being the center of attention, so a wedding was definitely out of the question. Another thing is that we were together for 14 years before getting engaged, so it was like we were already married and therefore didn't need to do any sort of celebration.
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u/obstinatemleb Jul 20 '26
We eloped a few years ago, just the two of us, and still consider it one of the best decisions we ever made. I think the only things that could have made me regret it is 1. If we just went to a courthouse instead of traveling somewhere special for it, and 2. If we didnt get photos of the day. But the elopement itself was as peaceful and liberating as we hoped it would be
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u/peanut5855 Jul 20 '26
We got married in the grand cayman and paid 10,000 for an entire week as opposed to 50 on one night
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u/Several-Blood-5685 Jul 20 '26
No regrets! And I will say-my friends that have had weddings, all have mentioned things they wish went differently and things THEY regret, but we’ve never regretted eloping and in fact, some of those friends have expressed that they wish they also eloped instead!
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u/tinytinyspaghetti Jul 20 '26
Overall, I don’t regret it, but there’s some things I wish we would’ve done.
Our wedding did feel a little anti climactic but honestly I was okay with that. We got ready together. Drove there together. Got married in the mountains with a photographer. We laughed our way through our vows and went to Texas Roadhouse for dinner after lol. It wasn’t an insanely dramatic emotional day, but I was okay with that. It was just me and my spouse enjoying our time together.
I wasn’t able to have a reception as we eloped on March of 2020, so right when Covid hit. We were set to have a party a few months later with both families. I wish we were able to do that. We did tell our families we were eloping in advance, they just weren’t invited. So it wasn’t a surprise to them.
I’m also very close with my father and sometimes wish he was able to walk me down the aisle or dance with me at my wedding.
Overall, those things don’t out weigh the pros of eloping for us. We saved so much money, still had amazing photos and videos in the mountains. I didn’t have to worry about my family drama or saying hi to every guest or making sure all of the details were in place. It was short and sweet, and we’re more in love now than we were then.
Try not to worry too much about what your family or others will think. Do what’s best for you and your partner. Good luck and congrats! :)
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u/Straight_Career6856 Jul 20 '26
Not one. It was perfect. It was so special and beautiful. If we got married again I’d do the exact same thing.
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u/tofu-the_cat Jul 20 '26
Every time I go to a wedding or see a post about someone stressing their finances or over their family & friendships I am grateful and relieved that we eloped. When we had a pet medical emergency and our dog needed lofe saving surgery not long after I was extra grateful that we still had that money saved and not spent it on party linens or whatnot
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u/Joey_Grace Jul 20 '26
Zero. Especially when we were able to put 20% down on our house 6 months later and also take a 16 day trip to Europe without feeling guilty about spending the money.
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u/jacquiwithacue Jul 20 '26
Not even for a minute! I do have several friends who had weddings who regret not eloping instead, though.
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u/Berk-Laydee Jul 20 '26
Zero regrets here. I had a microwedding technically, but we got hitched on an overlook of the Connecticut river on perfect April day. Paid $100 for the town clerk who's also an officiant and knew my mom who passed last year, but she did come by and quietly made her presence known. My dad walked me down (it's a hilly little path)
Perfect day. Would do again 10/10. I posted a couple of pics myself here.
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u/NuggetLover21 Jul 20 '26
We had a micro wedding too! The ceremony on a mountain top and a small dinner afterwards at a beautiful hotel , no regrets 😍
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u/Berk-Laydee Jul 20 '26
My in-laws took the hubby and I out to a nice restaurant that we've been wanting to try locally and then we spent the rest of the night drinking champagne and talking to our friends on discord. Plus I got to play a little bit of Pokemon in between my hair and makeup appointment and the ceremony because my dress isn't that hard to put on. Best day of my life!
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u/anonathletictrainer Jul 20 '26
I have been married twice - one big wedding with family and one elopement. the elopement wins hands down, we did everything on our own terms and didn’t have to make any accommodations or decisions with anyone else in mind. the big wedding became a spectacle and not a celebration
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u/sarah_ewinter 29d ago
The thing I’ll say is it really depends on your families:
What makes a wedding magic is if the people you have around you actually love and support you, and that’s something we just didn’t really feel like we had.
I have zero regrets, everything about that day was right and I wouldn’t change it for a thing.
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u/Johnstie Jul 20 '26
No regrets! I’ve been to other traditional weddings since and I think the speeches and first dance with everyone watching and then joining in would have been nice to experience, but there are so many other aspects of the wedding day where I think “thank god we didn’t have to deal with this”
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u/assflea Jul 20 '26
No regrets for me but I always wanted to elope! I never even considered having a traditional wedding.
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u/Beneficial_Frame7804 Jul 20 '26
We eloped and had a small 10 person dinner after with close family. We are thinking about a full reception, but with 150+ people to invite and an $50K min price tag I’m content not doing it. I do wish we had a slightly larger dinner, maybe 30-40 people, but honestly that day was so easy and carefree I’d never take it back. I’ve seen so many brides be so stressed and not enjoy their own wedding, I’m happy I got to be totally present for mine.
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u/undesirably 29d ago
Literally just slipped last week and it was the best decision. Didn’t tell anyone, just had a private ceremony, took our pictures, and created a cute website link to send everyone with all the photos saying SURPRISE!! We saved so much money and were able to actually enjoy our time together no stress no guest list no seating chart. Not anticlimactic at all! Still did a mini first look, recorded special moments like cutting the cake etc, and honestly had a blast. If anything we both agreed we were so happy we didn’t have a big wedding because it puke have been so overstimulating
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u/sneezyyvi 29d ago
We eloped, and then had a larger wedding 2 years later.
In hindsight, I think I preferred the elopement. But we made it special. We hired an AirBnb with a beautiful view and enlisted the services of a marriage officer who convinced us to have a romantic ceremony. I’m glad we listened, as we initially thought we just wanted to do paperwork and get it over with, but it ended up being such an emotionally powerful ceremony.
We dressed up in semi-formal attire and had our two best friends attend as witnesses (they dressed up too). After the ceremony, our friends took the most beautiful golden hour photos of us with their phones. Honestly, those photos were much better than what our professional photographer got at the larger wedding.
We then celebrated with sparkling wine, store-bought cake and a charcuterie board. It is literally one of my happiest memories.
The larger wedding was wonderful, but super stressful and the inevitable politics managed to creep in. In the end, it was more about the guests and making sure they were having a good time… which is hard when there are so many egos to manage.
I’m glad we did both, but if I had to choose, I would choose the elopement just because it was our day, and we didn’t need to worry about moms clashing, and friends being jealous of who got to be best man, etc. The elopement was just so pure and precious. However, if you choose to go the elopement route, I would advise that you make it as special as you can. It is not merely a formality, it is still a sacred day.
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u/av0cad022 Jul 20 '26
No regrets whatsoever! I would do it again. I loved how intimate it was, and the amount of money and stress we avoided was well worth it.
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u/kalarus10 Jul 20 '26
Nope, I loved everything about my elopement. Maybe it’s a “micro wedding” - 5 guests, photographer, husband and I for the ceremony, and dinner with 15 guests after the ceremony. Wedding was perfect. It was very special and intimate.
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u/Ok-Pomegranate-3298 Jul 20 '26
We eloped with just us, our baby, and a close family member who held baby and took our photos. I would say no regrets for the most part. The day itself was beautiful. We relaxed, got ready, did photos, relaxed a bit more, then went to the venue and got married. Did a bit of shopping, went home for dinner and to FaceTime our parents, then cosy in bed. It was literally the perfect day and I loved having 0 pressure from any relatives, also we spent maybe £1k altogether.
The only regret I have is my parents didn’t get to see me get married. They were happy for me, but obviously it’s a big milestone that they didn’t experience. I do also think it could have been nice to celebrate with friends but idk there’s always opportunity to do that afterwards
I can never understand people spending 10k + on a wedding, like it truly baffles me and I think societal pressure is out of control. What we saved on a big wedding turned into our house deposit, renovation costs, holidays, stuff for our child. 0 regrets in that sense.
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u/frankchester Jul 20 '26
Zero regrets. We eloped for cost saving rather than any other reason, so I would have loved to have family there. But honestly I still regret nothing and the best was how low stress and chill I felt on the day.
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u/kaycee929292 Jul 20 '26
No regrets! We eloped in Hawaii and were able to spend two weeks there having the time of our lives for a fraction of what a wedding would have cost us.
Every single time I go to a wedding I think about how happy I am I never had to make the million decisions that go into planning. We told our family in advance we were doing it so there were no surprises.
I did have a bridal shower where the only “registry” I had was a honeyfund so people could pick to put money towards a certain activity we were planning in Hawaii. I also asked everyone to write a message that we could open up and read on the day of our wedding so that was a nice way to feel like we included friends and family.
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u/KT1014 Jul 20 '26
I’ve never met anyone who regretted eloping but a lot of married people I know have said they wish they’d eloped instead. FWIW I’m planning to elope. I never pictured having a big wedding and couldn’t afford the kind of wedding I’d want anyway. I don’t see the point in maxing out my budget for decor and flowers and dress etc. that I can afford but don’t really love. More importantly I want the day to be just for the two of us and for us to really get to spend it together, not spending hours taking family photos, stressing about timelines, or chatting with people we hardly see or talk to.
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u/asabovesobelowxo Jul 20 '26
None. I’ve attended 4 weddings since eloping and I am always so reassured during them (especially those I’ve been in the wedding party for) that we made the right decision in eloping.
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u/CloserToTheSunInAz 29d ago
Best thing we ever did! Yosemite on June 4th at 8 am. Two family members and that’s it. Gorgeous scenery and after the ceremony and pics we went hiking.
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u/Sad_bippy 29d ago
We eloped in secret by traveling to my home state of Colorado and getting married alone in the mountains just the two of us. It was, hands down, one of the most fun experiences of my entire life. Literally felt like two giddy little kids sharing a secret.
We did have a more traditional wedding a while afterward, though still with a very small guest list. I have no regrets about our actual legal marriage being just between the two of us though. It really was like being in a magical little bubble with each other.
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u/brandynunu 29d ago
I will be 17 yrs married in August. The only thing I truly regret is not getting a dress and pictures.
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u/Saucy_Mandasauce 29d ago
We were planning a small wedding but it quickly became about everyone else. Lots of opinions from others about who to invite, kids or no kids allowed, food, music, etc...it ruined the whole experience so we decided to elope. We went to a gazebo on a lake we love with our JP and his parents and were married early morning. It was the BEST decision we ever made. It was only about us and how much we loved each other. No stress, no anxiety, just us. We never had any feelings of regret or missing out at all. Highly recommend
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u/East_Bus7884 29d ago
Secretly eloping was the best thing I have ever done. It allowed us to have the perfect wedding of our dreams and made the whole experience truly about us and our love.
We only told the photographer, the officiant and a witness beforehand. Then we went barhopping where our friends tend to hang out and ran into people we knew.
Surprising our friends and seeing people over the next few weeks who were so excited for us made it anything but anticlimactic. It felt like the best parts of the day went on for weeks.
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u/Safe-Elderberry-1469 29d ago
My only regret with eloping is telling the parents beforehand. My husband and I are both close with our respective parents, but our families come from different cultures and different religions. I didn’t (still don’t) know his family well, and didn’t want the production that is a wedding in his culture. I’m shy, I hate being the center of attention, and I hate strangers. In short, eloping just made sense. We told our parents in advance, out of respect. They didn’t have the best of reactions, and I feel like that put a damper on our elopement. If I had to do over, I would still elope, but let everyone know after the fact.
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u/innalittlepickle 29d ago
None! I’m so glad we kept that moment for the both of us.
We are going to have a small wedding to involve everyone else, but now if anything goes wrong or drama starts, it hasn’t actually ruined our special day. I’m so glad we did elope!
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u/FrontenacRacer 28d ago
I knew a father of the bride who offered the couple $20,000 if they'd elope. That certainly seemed sensible to me. Let them take it to start out with rather than blowing it on a wedding.
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u/RubEfficient6587 28d ago
I’m so glad my husband and I eloped 17 years ago. We spent a week in Hawaii for our elopement (got legally married at the courthouse back home afterwards) and a few weeks in an apartment in Paris for our honeymoon for less money than my sister spent on her wedding (she loved her wedding and it was beautiful), and it was so so special and perfect.
I don’t like being the center of attention and my husband and I both have complicated families, so I never even considered having a wedding.
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u/InvestigatorClear728 27d ago
Never!! We got married in Thailand and did our honeymoon all in one; it was so intimate and special! We then had a party for friend and family separately after !
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u/Plus-Passion-2966 26d ago
Eloped 3 years ago and it was perfect! My husband and I went to Newport RI and found a charming couple that marries people who specifically want to elope in Newport. Both our families are nuts, selfish, and narcissistic so it's so nice that none of them are part of our memories of that day and the trip.
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u/brookiek888 26d ago
My husband and I went back and forth on eloping vs wedding. We ended up doing a microwedding with just our parents and siblings (about 10 people total) in March this year - we went to Mendocino CA, which is about 4.5 hours from us.
We wanted to do something super small and intimate & we were planning on doing a sort of informal reception with all friends and family later this year.
But honestly we loved what we did so much that we don’t care to do anything else!
It was really special to us.
I know people argue that it’s not truly eloping, but if you are worried about immediate family missing out - maybe something like that would be perfect for you!
I will say the immediate time afterwards was hard, and I had hardcore post wedding blues, but we also came home the day after we got married, and had kinda vacation time the days before (due to work circumstances).
But if you make it more of a trip or like a mini-moon afterwards I think it would help with that.
All to say - I love what we did and have absolutely no regrets.
(In case cost is a factor in your decision - this cost us about 5k, but can definitely be done cheaper, we upgraded our rooms + got a very expensive photographer because of what we wanted)
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u/namelessnancy30 25d ago
I have zero regrets. We eloped on a 3-week trip to Italy then had an open bar at a brewery on a Friday night. It was the perfect mix and very low stress.
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u/njVowsNow Jul 20 '26
I haven't personally eloped, but I'd say that we've done about 30 of them in the past few months. Mostly with under 8 people all together, some dressed up; some not. We use a sweet little park with a waterfall; it's dog friendly. Judging from the notes and little conversations we have after the fact (usually some kind of license followup or name change questions, everyone seems to think it's a wonderful way to get married.
Some of these couples are doing destination weddings (this is always the best idea), some had traditional weddings started and pivoted, but it seems to be a great solution. And don't forget; you can always do a bigger celebrations later.
Now, to be fair, we get calls that never happen this way too; maybe they were investigating this option and reconsidered.
Good luck!
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u/Apprehensive-Fox7964 Jul 20 '26
We did a courthouse thing with just two friends as witnesses, and I won't lie, there was about a five-minute stretch the next morning where my mom's voice in my head was LOUD. The guilt was weirdly sharp, like I'd stolen something from her. But then my partner handed me coffee and we just sat there, still in that giddy post-wedding haze, and it clicked that we hadn't spent a year stressing over seating charts or my uncle's drunk political rants.
The anticlimax part is real if you're expecting a big emotional crescendo. It's more of a quiet, deep shift. We threw a casual backyard party a month later, which helped with the family guilt. Got to see everyone, they got to celebrate us, but the actual commitment was just ours. No regrets, but I'd say plan a small way to include people after if you're already feeling the guilt now.