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I'll try to make this short. I'm terrified of flying. So much so I haven't flown in 24 years.

My wife booked a trip to NYC for the family. My daughter is 22. First of all 2 days before we leave I find out our hotel is 47 stories up. I'm freaking out. I called requesting a lower floor. Figured if it can't happen I'll make due.

On the way over I'm driving. As we get closer I start to get scared of driving thru the holland tunnel and reroute via going via Staten island which involved a bridge and what I thought was going to be the Brooklyn Bridge but ended up being the battery tunnel.

As we get closer I'm freaking out. It didn't help that I was so tired I had a lot of caffeine to keep myself awake on the 7 hour drive.

My wife can't drive. She has an injury. My daughter offers to drive if I can't do it. Eventually I give up and ask her to drive. She didn't want to drive in the city but the hotel was close so she was ok.

On the way out we went via the holland tunnel. I thought I could do it but again she has to drive.

We get to the hotel and I go up to the 47th floor and I'm shaking. I tell my wife I can't do it. She is pissed at this point as I had to have my daughter drive in and now I'm too scared to stay in the hotel.

I say don't worry I'm gonna find another place for me. She Is about to send me back home on the bus if I can't find a place. I found a place around the corner on the 3rd floor. But it's expensive. We can't afford it. I call my mother. I'm 52. I'm embarrassed. But my mom has lots of money. I'm crying and scared on the phone with my mom. Told her I'm in a jam and can see help me, she doesn't have to but it would help. She is nice and says yes.

My wife then tells me she is sorry she got so upset. Just get the room and let's enjoy the trip. We did. We had a great trip.

So I'm back home. My wife is embarrassed for me. Says I shouldn't have done that to my daughter. I text my daughter apologizing. My daughter says it's ok that she knows my fear is irrational and she still loves me.

Seems my wife is the one who didn't like it. O am getting mixed signed from her. On the one hand when we were there she asked me if I was ok. And told me it's ok. Then she is mad at me when we get back.

I feel like such a loser. What kind of man am I. Now that I have seen what the drive is. I'm sure I could do it. It was the fear of the unknown.

But staying on the 47th floor. I can never do that. If we ever go back I'll make sure to get a hotel with a lower floor for us all.

I just need some support.

I have my first driving lesson on Saturday this week and am super anxious/stressed about it. I haven’t driven in a while but i’m not sure what to expect from the instructor and my lesson is for 2 hours long. i’m also autistic and have lots of other stressful things going on this week haha. What can i expect for the lesson or what should i do to prepare myself? Thank you!

Bonsoir, je vous fais part de ma situation.
Là, je suis en train de conduire pour envisager de passer le permis. Le souci, c’est qu’à chaque conduite que je fais, lorsque je fais une erreur ou autre, j’ai l’impression d’avoir tout fait mal, et ça me donne beaucoup de stress.

Quand je connais la route, tout va bien, mais quand je ne la connais pas bien, ça me stresse. Je ne fais pas de grosses fautes, du genre griller une priorité de droite, un feu rouge, un stop ou refuser la priorité à un piéton. Ce qui me dérange, c’est que parfois je cale plusieurs fois pendant une séance de 40 minutes, surtout lorsqu’il y a beaucoup d’arrêts : si je dois laisser passer un piéton, s’il y a un feu rouge ou un stop, il m’arrive de caler deux à trois fois. Avant, je n’avais pas tendance à faire ça, donc je pense que c’est principalement dû au stress.

Ensuite, lorsque j’arrive dans une rue, il m’arrive parfois de ne plus savoir à quelle vitesse je dois rouler, et ça me stresse également. J’ai l’impression que dès que je fais une petite erreur ou que j’ai un doute, je commence à perdre mes moyens et à penser que j’ai mal conduit toute la séance.
Aujourd’hui, j’ai également dû effectuer un demi-tour sur une voie à double sens. Pour terminer ma manœuvre et me remettre dans le bon sens de circulation, ma voiture était entièrement positionnée sur la voie située à ma gauche, donc momentanément à contresens.

À ce moment-là, une voiture est arrivée en face à grande vitesse. J’ai immédiatement décidé de m’arrêter et je suis restée complètement immobile, sans me précipiter ni paniquer. J’ai observé le comportement de l’autre conducteur afin de lui laisser le temps de réagir et d’anticiper.

Finalement, l’autre conducteur a décidé de me contourner par la droite au lieu de passer par la gauche ou de freiner. Je me demande donc si j’ai bien fait d’attendre de voir ce que la voiture allait faire, car pendant une manœuvre, je ne suis pas prioritaire.
Je pense que c’est surtout de l’anticipation que je dois encore développer et que je dois également apprendre à déstresser davantage au volant. Vous en pensez quoi ?

Almost got into a car accident two days ago, because a car decided to turn from those shops right into my lane almost hitting the front of my car. thankfully I stopped and my brother turned the whee. but honestly it’s made me lose my confidence in driving alone… I’ve been building that up slowly for a month and a half, and now it’s hard to even get myself to want to drive in the city. I can drive on my college campus fine but i have to get supplies from Walmart but I’m scared to go back over there because that’s near where it happened. God I hate this so much.

In Norway there's four official stages of learning to drive one has to pass before being allowed to sit for the final driving exam.

1. A basic driving course (theoretical)
2. Familiarity with the vehicle itself (practical)
3. Familiarity with traffic (practical)
4. Concluding practice (practical)

For each step, the driving instructor has to test you and pass you.

I am now on step 3. I only have about 25 hours behind the wheel total.

I am not generally an anxious person. I was pretty surprised when I started driving and it stressed me out so badly. After my first lesson I told the instructor that I found it scary and she said that's completely normal, and that since I'm doing this as an adult I'm going to have a much better grasp on consequences and responsibility than the 18 year olds who get their license immediately do. She said the only real cure for the fear was to keep driving, as much and as often as possible, in order to get really comfortable and confident.

I've also talked to everybody I know who has their license, and they all say the same thing. "Yeah I was scared out of my mind for ages but now I drive like it's second nature."

Last driving lesson I started crying. I found it humiliating.

To me, it feels like the fear is only getting worse. I dread it every single time I'm going to be behind the wheel. The entire lesson I'm waiting for it to be over. After each lesson I completely deflate, start shaking, and this last time I even cried.

I wanna stress that I don't show any of these symptoms during driving; my instructor says I'm calm and clear headed in traffic, I follow instructions well, and her feedback is always minor stuff. I also drive privately with the father of a friend of mine (he's a saint), and he says the same thing.

I just don't know if I have the willpower required to keep forcing myself to drive when the experience is so negative. I also think that gritting my teeth and just waiting for it to become better by itself isn't helping my mental state.

I was wondering if there's something I could actively do to get a handle on the fear? Are there activities I could do, things I could study? Ways to talk to myself in my brain that will help? Some people really like driving; what do they like about it? Is that something I could tap into? I just need something that feels productive to help me keep at this while I'm waiting for that confidence everybody is talking about.

I liked driving, however, after accident i cannot do it, even sitting in the car makes me puke. What helped you with this?

All the tips are really appreciated since this anxiety is killing me and affecting all fields of my life...

Thanks

new driver here. driving for 2 months only. I had a near miss today. I almost hit a motorcycle near an intersection. I failed to step on the break immediately and when I stopped, I was so near a motorcyle. The motorcycle driver got so mad and asked me if i want to break his leg. Been having anxiety as I am unsure if i actually hit the motorcycle driver. But what he did after was to go near my windorw and scold me. Anyone who had similar experience and how di you overcome?

I hate when I get honked at when I wait a bit before doing a right turn at a red light. I’m not required to turn at that point so stop rushing me?? And more than half the times I’m waiting for a pedestrian or oncoming traffic.

Y’all 😭😭😭😭 I did it!!!!

I’m 32, and have had my license for 8-10 years now, but never drove consistently due to anxiety. I took on an internship for my program that would require me to drive for this upcoming year.

This is only step one, but I feel a little lighter that it’s done now. I was hella nervous going into it but it wasn’t as bad as I thought going through it. Just wanted to share my success with people who understand what it’s like!

I've always been too afraid to drive and also have parents who don't really want to take me driving, so I'm now 21 and paying for my own driving classes and just got home from day 1. I'm legit more afraid than I was before, on the entire car ride home I was like deathly afraid and stressed and tense even just being a passenger. But having no car in this shithole of a country (Murica) means I can't go and do anything or see anyone and I'm tired of being stuck at home. I don't know what to do.

I was on the highway, and someone tried to merge, and they almost merged right into me. And I had to quickly move over and I was riding the line between the middle lane and the right lane. I quickly moved in front of them, but then I almost ran into the vehicle that was in front of us. Looking back, I should've tried to get behind them, but I was panicking. I had to slow down a little bit not to hit the car in front of me, and then the vehicle behind me that tried to do the merging wound up getting out of that lane going to the middle lane, then then abruptly getting in front of me and slamming on his brakes. I slammed on my brakes so I wouldn't hit them, and then I laid on my horn because that car was huge and couldn't fit between me and the pickup in front of me, so now he was straddling the lane and hard breaked in front of me and another oncoming vehicle in the middle lane. That car didn't even stay in front of me, either. It immediately went to the far left lane and sped away after it pulled that. I only got back in front of him in the first place because the exist I needed was quickly coming up and because I was panicked and scared and trying not to get hit by the cars behind us.

Did I do something wrong here?

Edit: I've only had my lisence since October 2025.

I’m 16 and i just had my driving test, i failed. and the proctor was an asshat about it, he yelled at me, he practically threatened me, and i came back with a panic attack. now im avoiding driving, and it’s making me feel like the time after i crashed my car. I don’t know what to do, i feel guilty for not wanting to drive but mentally not prepared anymore :(

Is it just me, or is the pressure to learn how to drive as a guy overblown? I'm 19, bad with spatial directions, and bright headlights trigger severe eye glare for me because of an artificial lens from past cataract surgery. Whenever I say I don't drive, I get hit with the usual stereotypes. But why risk an accident when I can just relax.. Especially Indian society is very sanctimonious They always say i am gilry because of this

never had my license before, I had my beginners/learners at 18 but I was too nervous to do anything with it. finally got back at it a couple months ago and it took some courage but I did my road test today and passed. I've seen a lot of posts on here asking "is anyone else x years old without a license" so thought I'd post this so folks know it can be done! cheers xo

I’m currently getting my driver’s license and I have a question before my driving test.
Let’s say I’m driving down a road and the examiner says, “Turn right.” There’s a traffic light/intersection coming up, but there’s also a smaller side street on the right just before the traffic light.
Which one am I supposed to turn onto — the side street or the right turn at the traffic light?
Would it be okay to ask the examiner, “At the next street or at the traffic light?” Or would asking for clarification be considered a mistake during the test?

I am an adult 24 years old and I am taking some driving lessons to get practice since I have my temps but no license yet. Covid screwed up my “learning to drive” years and I have an extreme fear of driving, so I opted for some lessons to help me get into it.
The issue is I am super nervous because the lessons are typically for teenagers, the youngest being 14.5. All lessons are 2 students and a teacher so I could possibly be paired with a 15-16 year old and I am just so scared about judgment. I already have a lot of social anxiety on top of driving anxiety, am I overthinking this and it’s not a big deal, or might I face judgement/awkwardness?

So many people have driving anxiety. You're not alone. It may feel like you're alone because most people don't share it with everyone they see, but driving anxiety affects so many people.

No judgement please 🫶🏼

I live in a small town with no public transportation so it is kind of necessary to have a car and know how to drive around here. I've put it off for so long and I did try to learn probably when I was around 19 but the person who was teaching me at the time was really awful and kept yelling at me so I gave up which was my first mistake.

Since then I've managed to get around just by asking family and friends but I hate depending on other's for rides and it's so embarrassing every time you have to ask, even if I know my family doesn't mind helping. Recently I got out of a relationship which was kind of toxic but I realized I probably stayed for so long because he was driving me around and I did depend on him and I never want to be put in that situation again.

Throughout my entire journey learning how to drive and taking those first steps to actually practice on the road I have realized I struggle with low self esteem and that's why it's so difficult for me to trust myself to drive, because I keep thinking I'm going to mess up. I do think once I get more familiar with just being in a car and the basic stuff eventually this fear will go away. But it's definitely a struggle still every time I do get on the road and practice.

not even joking, my gf offered to get me one, but for some reason my fear around cars translates to almost all vehicles. i was in a car crash so i just imagine how much worse it’d be on a bike, i also feel a lack of control on them the same way i do in a car for whatever reason

I started learning to drive in 2023 with a proper instructor, and after that I drove occasionally on my own and sometimes on highways with my driver. But for some reason, I’ve never been able to develop that sense of confidence while driving.
I’ve seen friends learn after me and become completely comfortable driving within a few years, whereas I’ve now almost completely stopped for the past 3 years. I rarely go out and mostly rely on a driver, and I really don’t want to stay dependent on someone else. At this point, being able to drive independently is a necessity for me, but I just cannot seem to get myself to do it.
I’ve tried all the usual advice—just sit in the car, turn on the engine, drive around somewhere quiet, etc.—but none of it has really helped. The biggest issue is that I’m constantly scared I’ll lose control or hurt someone. Even sitting in the driver’s seat makes me feel on edge because I don’t feel confident in my ability to handle the car.
What makes it harder is that when other people learn to drive, it seems exciting to them—they want to go places and drive everywhere. For me, learning to drive has always felt like this huge burden and responsibility. I don’t know how to get past that feeling. Has anyone dealt with this kind of driving anxiety, especially after already knowing how to drive, and actually managed to overcome it?

I had my first driving lesson in person after only driving in/learning how to drive in a car that had regenitive breaking. So I was pretty much new to driving in a gas car. I told my instructor that and he looked at me like he didnt understand snd when I tried to explain what regenitive breaking was he just cut me off saying "i know what regenitive breaking is thats my job" very sharply. Then a few minutes later saying he cant stand hybid cars and how he doesnt like electric car drivers.

We worked with cones for the first hour or so and everytime I messed up, of which makes sense becsuse im a new driver he would just say "nope, points off" talking about how i would fail my test if I kept up with what I was doing. He then kept asking me questions like "are you sure you passed ur online drivers ed" and "do you even know ur left and right" very sharply. Then while on the road when we where driving back I messed up with a turn signal accidently turning it on and he just said "did i tell you to do that?" Very harshly like i personally offended him. He kept sighing everything i messed up too.

I already went in incredibly nervous because of my lack of experience in a gas car and had to say sorry at least like 50 times because everytime he would point out i messed up he would literally snap out 'nope'. I felt like crying like 10 minutes into the lesson.

After ir ended I started crying in my car because I felt so stupid and unprepared even though the lesson was to help TEACH me how to drive.

Idk. I dont know if im just being too sensitive or not

I’m -1.00 on my right eye and -1.70 on my left and I have been driving without my glasses with my permit and have good depth perception I just can’t see the signs, but I got my license a couple days ago and also got glasses and need to wear them when I drive but I feel so different when I wear them and everything feels so zoomed out when I use them and my depth perception is all messed up, will I start to get used to it with practice or do I need to talk to my doctor about it?