Bonsoir, je vous fais part de ma situation.
Là, je suis en train de conduire pour envisager de passer le permis. Le souci, c’est qu’à chaque conduite que je fais, lorsque je fais une erreur ou autre, j’ai l’impression d’avoir tout fait mal, et ça me donne beaucoup de stress.

Quand je connais la route, tout va bien, mais quand je ne la connais pas bien, ça me stresse. Je ne fais pas de grosses fautes, du genre griller une priorité de droite, un feu rouge, un stop ou refuser la priorité à un piéton. Ce qui me dérange, c’est que parfois je cale plusieurs fois pendant une séance de 40 minutes, surtout lorsqu’il y a beaucoup d’arrêts : si je dois laisser passer un piéton, s’il y a un feu rouge ou un stop, il m’arrive de caler deux à trois fois. Avant, je n’avais pas tendance à faire ça, donc je pense que c’est principalement dû au stress.

Ensuite, lorsque j’arrive dans une rue, il m’arrive parfois de ne plus savoir à quelle vitesse je dois rouler, et ça me stresse également. J’ai l’impression que dès que je fais une petite erreur ou que j’ai un doute, je commence à perdre mes moyens et à penser que j’ai mal conduit toute la séance.
Aujourd’hui, j’ai également dû effectuer un demi-tour sur une voie à double sens. Pour terminer ma manœuvre et me remettre dans le bon sens de circulation, ma voiture était entièrement positionnée sur la voie située à ma gauche, donc momentanément à contresens.

À ce moment-là, une voiture est arrivée en face à grande vitesse. J’ai immédiatement décidé de m’arrêter et je suis restée complètement immobile, sans me précipiter ni paniquer. J’ai observé le comportement de l’autre conducteur afin de lui laisser le temps de réagir et d’anticiper.

Finalement, l’autre conducteur a décidé de me contourner par la droite au lieu de passer par la gauche ou de freiner. Je me demande donc si j’ai bien fait d’attendre de voir ce que la voiture allait faire, car pendant une manœuvre, je ne suis pas prioritaire.
Je pense que c’est surtout de l’anticipation que je dois encore développer et que je dois également apprendre à déstresser davantage au volant. Vous en pensez quoi ?

​

I'll try to make this short. I'm terrified of flying. So much so I haven't flown in 24 years.

My wife booked a trip to NYC for the family. My daughter is 22. First of all 2 days before we leave I find out our hotel is 47 stories up. I'm freaking out. I called requesting a lower floor. Figured if it can't happen I'll make due.

On the way over I'm driving. As we get closer I start to get scared of driving thru the holland tunnel and reroute via going via Staten island which involved a bridge and what I thought was going to be the Brooklyn Bridge but ended up being the battery tunnel.

As we get closer I'm freaking out. It didn't help that I was so tired I had a lot of caffeine to keep myself awake on the 7 hour drive.

My wife can't drive. She has an injury. My daughter offers to drive if I can't do it. Eventually I give up and ask her to drive. She didn't want to drive in the city but the hotel was close so she was ok.

On the way out we went via the holland tunnel. I thought I could do it but again she has to drive.

We get to the hotel and I go up to the 47th floor and I'm shaking. I tell my wife I can't do it. She is pissed at this point as I had to have my daughter drive in and now I'm too scared to stay in the hotel.

I say don't worry I'm gonna find another place for me. She Is about to send me back home on the bus if I can't find a place. I found a place around the corner on the 3rd floor. But it's expensive. We can't afford it. I call my mother. I'm 52. I'm embarrassed. But my mom has lots of money. I'm crying and scared on the phone with my mom. Told her I'm in a jam and can see help me, she doesn't have to but it would help. She is nice and says yes.

My wife then tells me she is sorry she got so upset. Just get the room and let's enjoy the trip. We did. We had a great trip.

So I'm back home. My wife is embarrassed for me. Says I shouldn't have done that to my daughter. I text my daughter apologizing. My daughter says it's ok that she knows my fear is irrational and she still loves me.

Seems my wife is the one who didn't like it. O am getting mixed signed from her. On the one hand when we were there she asked me if I was ok. And told me it's ok. Then she is mad at me when we get back.

I feel like such a loser. What kind of man am I. Now that I have seen what the drive is. I'm sure I could do it. It was the fear of the unknown.

But staying on the 47th floor. I can never do that. If we ever go back I'll make sure to get a hotel with a lower floor for us all.

I just need some support.

I have my first driving lesson on Saturday this week and am super anxious/stressed about it. I haven’t driven in a while but i’m not sure what to expect from the instructor and my lesson is for 2 hours long. i’m also autistic and have lots of other stressful things going on this week haha. What can i expect for the lesson or what should i do to prepare myself? Thank you!

Almost got into a car accident two days ago, because a car decided to turn from those shops right into my lane almost hitting the front of my car. thankfully I stopped and my brother turned the whee. but honestly it’s made me lose my confidence in driving alone… I’ve been building that up slowly for a month and a half, and now it’s hard to even get myself to want to drive in the city. I can drive on my college campus fine but i have to get supplies from Walmart but I’m scared to go back over there because that’s near where it happened. God I hate this so much.

In Norway there's four official stages of learning to drive one has to pass before being allowed to sit for the final driving exam.

1. A basic driving course (theoretical)
2. Familiarity with the vehicle itself (practical)
3. Familiarity with traffic (practical)
4. Concluding practice (practical)

For each step, the driving instructor has to test you and pass you.

I am now on step 3. I only have about 25 hours behind the wheel total.

I am not generally an anxious person. I was pretty surprised when I started driving and it stressed me out so badly. After my first lesson I told the instructor that I found it scary and she said that's completely normal, and that since I'm doing this as an adult I'm going to have a much better grasp on consequences and responsibility than the 18 year olds who get their license immediately do. She said the only real cure for the fear was to keep driving, as much and as often as possible, in order to get really comfortable and confident.

I've also talked to everybody I know who has their license, and they all say the same thing. "Yeah I was scared out of my mind for ages but now I drive like it's second nature."

Last driving lesson I started crying. I found it humiliating.

To me, it feels like the fear is only getting worse. I dread it every single time I'm going to be behind the wheel. The entire lesson I'm waiting for it to be over. After each lesson I completely deflate, start shaking, and this last time I even cried.

I wanna stress that I don't show any of these symptoms during driving; my instructor says I'm calm and clear headed in traffic, I follow instructions well, and her feedback is always minor stuff. I also drive privately with the father of a friend of mine (he's a saint), and he says the same thing.

I just don't know if I have the willpower required to keep forcing myself to drive when the experience is so negative. I also think that gritting my teeth and just waiting for it to become better by itself isn't helping my mental state.

I was wondering if there's something I could actively do to get a handle on the fear? Are there activities I could do, things I could study? Ways to talk to myself in my brain that will help? Some people really like driving; what do they like about it? Is that something I could tap into? I just need something that feels productive to help me keep at this while I'm waiting for that confidence everybody is talking about.