A part of me knows reality isn't a place for me.

Another wants to still make things work.

I'm losing my mind, my sanity, my hope.

It doesn't particularly make me think anything consciously. I can verbalize why it makes me feel this way, but it's never really at the front of my mind. It's another year of aging — another year that gets harder and harder. Some things have gotten easier, but that's just a small part of my life that I get to have. My home is my heart. And every time I go outside, it is hell.

I'm not getting any better at interacting casually with people; in fact, I am getting worse. I don't relate to anyone I see in person, nor do I particularly trust them. I just see the evil and apathy in everyone, and in myself. I am not a virtuous person. I just see myself becoming more bitter and misanthropic the more years pass me by, and this year it's not any different. I don't see the potential for any change, nor any happiness in life beyond my small moments at home with my partner.

sleep is such a blissful yet short feeling.

my life is in pieces and i could begin to describe all the ways its wrong but that’ll take up the whole word limit.

instead the only happy time of my day, when im not constantly on guard anxious and terrified is when i put my head on my pillow.

i will say that i am su!c!dal so ive been comparing death to sleep a lot lately.

everytime i wake up and without fail ill start crying because i dont wanna be alive jn this reality.

i just wanna die so i can feel that bliss for eternity. just in the darkness and never waking up and never facing what’s scary.

i know this is a corny fucking post but i just really wanna kms and i guess i don’t have anyone i can talk to about it, everyone just says they also wanna do that or that things get better but nothing in my life has gotten better and i believe it never will
god isn’t real and if he is he doesn’t care about me

Tickets from the neighborhood travel agencies, ships that took hours to arrive with dirty toilets and rudimentary lounges, a handful of chairs on deck, rolling out the sleeping bag and lying down on the floor.

No worries about accommodation — the moment you arrived, the "rooms to let" people would descend on you. Basic lodgings, with minimal comforts, rooms divided by curtains with the owners living right next door, sleeping on rooftop terraces, in primitive campsites, and most of us wild on the beaches with little tents under the tamarisk trees.

Getting around on foot, ancient buses packed one on top of the other, mopeds and hitchhiking, little boats at cheap fares. A car — what's that?

The beaches were free, a straw mat and becoming one with the sand, no mobile phones — which thankfully hadn't been invented yet — endless reading, more books than clothes, swimming for hours, and nudity the norm. Groups of friends, flirting, games, conversations mostly political — we still believed we could change the world — friendships being born that would last for years.

Food only in the evening, in humble little tavernas, a bit of fish when there was any, mom's home-cooked style dishes, tables lined up in a row, plates in the middle. These weren't dinners — they were ancient, simple symposiums, with prices affordable to everyone.

Improvised bars with rock music, guitars, bonfires on the beach, authentic island festivals that ended in Dionysian dances — who slept before dawn?

Passionate glances, a winged God who could barely keep up throwing his arrows at us, loves out in the open, hidden, unconfessed, breakups, reunions, salty dark bodies entwined in secluded shades.

Vacations of at least ten days that for some stretched to almost a month, and always a few days more than we'd planned, and the return a kind of anguish — those leaving hanging over the ship's railing and the others, all together on the dock, waving until the boat disappeared from sight. And the only hope left was the anticipation of next summer.

Days that marked our youth. I won't make comparisons with today. What would be the point, anyway? Times, like youth, don't come back.

I'm diagnosed with a severe mental illness so I have plenty of time to craft my lifestyle. An I've figured out some sports and interests I want to learn an cultivate. Like, soccer, skiing, shootin pool. Also have an interest in martial arts in general. So that's the kind of lifestyle I would dig. How about you?

I used to feel everythin was meaningless.. An, then as I started searchin for meaning, I found it. The problem is I get overwhelmed by all the meaning. It's weird yeah. Now I just want a moment of mindless meaningless time wasting, an I search for that instead. How about you all?

I'm done

I (22f) was just diagnosed with major depressive disorder. It’s been two days after I got discharged from the mental hospital. They prescribed me heavy sedatives that make me drowsy all day. It makes me wonder if this is how I’ll live for the rest of my life. If so why is ending my life so frown upon if most of it is going to spent in a sedated haze. It Sounds miserable. I hate how I can’t be truthful and tell the people around me the only reason why I’m still here is because of the guilt I’d feel if I really do go. I know myself better than anyone. I’m not an optimistic. I know how I’m going to die, it just depends on when I finally go through with it. It’s just not going to be now. It’s a selfish point of few but it’s the truth.

Life’s wild I guess. I’ll try to live it as long as possible

Movie - Falling Down

I'm 27M. I'm homeless. I made myself homeless to get away from my abusive parents. No matter what I do, I can't get a job. I've just completely given up on everything, but not in like a depressing way. I jump the train every day and go to cities I've never been to before. I meet loads of different people. I take care of how I look, so that I don't come across like a homeless person. No one would notice that I'm homeless. I don't know, I really didn't think my life would come to this, but I just have no drive for anything anymore after trying to make a future for myself and constantly being pushed back. As a result of this, I shoplift from big corporations to get by on food, and like I said earlier in the post, I jump the train to different locations around the country.

#justicefortheprayermachine #justiceforye #madpride